Horse Harness - Reconstructive Experiment
Joe Pinegar
I performed a reconstructive experiment this morning with the comparative
pulling ability of the old horse harnesses and the padded collar. I found a
wooden doohickey on the kitchen floor this morning, shaped like a Cheerio
but about eight inches in diameter. In my pre-caffeinated state, it looked
like a horse collar. So, after digging out the illustrations of Roman horse
harnesses (the old type), I formed one out of a belt. I used this harness
to harness our large cat (26 pounds, 27 inch waistline) to the vacuum
cleaner (36 pounds). I turned on the vacuum cleaner, in order to motivate
the cat to move, but despite mighty strains and gacks, they did not move.
While Grendel and the vacuum cleaner were busy not moving, I padded the
collar with a dishtowel. I unharnessed Grendel from the vacuum cleaner and
rehitched him using the collar. When I turned the vacuum on again, he and
his vacuum cleaner launched into next week, finally coming to a stop at the
living room wall, eighty feet away.
Possible conclusions:
1. It is easier to pull a bulky trailer with a collar than it is with the
Roman harness; and/or:
2. Feline and equine anatomy, motivations, and thought processes may or may
not vary; and/or
3. Grendel could have pulled the vacuum cleaner the first time but was not
sufficiently motivated/terrified; and/or
4. Grendel was being a cat and *chose* not to move the vacuum cleaner the
first time: and/or
5. Roman transportation could REALLY have been more efficient if they had
had vacuum cleaners.
Irrefuteable conclusion:
Grendel does not vacuum well.
Ellen Pinegar
Tony Jebson
Ellen Pinegar wrote:
[snip]
> Grendel does not vacuum well.
<looks around quickly; spots Grendel>
Hmm... thought for a moment you'd stolen my cat! Is your Grendel
black as well?
Beowulf has a lot to answer for!
--- Tony Jebson
Kate
In article <6arl5k$c4e$1@nnrp3>, "Joe Pinegar" <pine...@swbell.net> wrote:
>I performed a reconstructive experiment this morning with the comparative
>pulling ability of the old horse harnesses and the padded collar. I found a
>wooden doohickey on the kitchen floor this morning, shaped like a Cheerio
>but about eight inches in diameter.
ROFL, Ellen!! But ...but...but... I don't think *someone* ::thinking of a
Cary Grant immitator saying with clenched teeth "*udy, *udy, *udy" might yield
clues as to this individuals identity ;-):: will appreciate the humor. Great
Fun! Thanks.
Kate ( who wonders if this thread will die soon)
MarcAlford
>Hmm... thought for a moment you'd stolen my cat! Is your Grendel
black as
>well?
Apparently I was being much less clever than I thought when I named *my* cat
Grendel.
Marc Alford
http://members.aol.com/marcalford/pp235.htm
"If you meet a madman who says that he is a fish and that we are all
fishes, do you take off your clothes to show him that you do not have
fins?" -- Milan Kundera, Risibles Amours, 1984
DanaS64562
This is a classic! You've made my day, Ellen.
Joe Pinegar
Tony Jebson wrote in message <34D15D...@texas.net>...
>Ellen Pinegar wrote:
>[snip]
>> Grendel does not vacuum well.
>
><looks around quickly; spots Grendel>
>
>Hmm... thought for a moment you'd stolen my cat! Is your Grendel
>black as well?
>
>Beowulf has a lot to answer for!
>
>--- Tony Jebson
No, grey tabby. Better camo for those undersea dives, I guess.
Ellen
Paul J. Gans
Dick Wisan (wis...@norwich.net) wrote:
>In article <6arl5k$c4e$1@nnrp3>, pine...@swbell.net says...
>>
>>I performed a reconstructive experiment this morning with the comparative
>> ...used this harness
>>to harness our large cat (26 pounds, 27 inch waistline) to the vacuum
>>
>>...While Grendel and the vacuum cleaner were busy not moving, I padded the
>>collar with a dishtowel. I unharnessed Grendel from the vacuum cleaner and
>>rehitched him using the collar. When I turned the vacuum on again, he and
>>his vacuum cleaner launched into next week, finally coming to a stop at the
>>living room wall, eighty feet away.
>>
>All this is inconclusive and unfair. At 26 pounds and 27 inches of
>waistline, Grendel is clearly a Clydesdale cat, which _no_ authority
>even suggests the Romans ever possessed. Furthermore, since the Romans
>did not employ the vacuum cleaner, they had no requirement for a 26
>pound 27 inch waistlined Clydesdale to pull it.
>Their cats and their harnesses were perfectly adequate for the vacuums
>they did possess, and it is altogether scurrilous to imply anything else.
I think you have missed an important reference. The Swahili
Edition of the 11th Edition of the Encyclopedia Brittanica,
in the article on Pompeii, a picutre *clearly* shows what can
only be a cannister vacuum cleaner. While it is true that
the line cord is not shown, and it is possible that the
Romans had not yet developed electricity, there can be
no doubt that they KNEW about electricity. Many references
to lightning exist.
Further, both Greek and Roman sources assert that lions
existed in Europe. This is clearly arguable, since
lions do not *now* exist in Europe outside of zoos. If
you'd kept up with the literature you'd know that many
modern scholars are of the opinion that these "lions",
were, in fact, large cats.
So you are wrong, wrong, wrong. Are you sure that you
are a real medievalist or are you just faking an
interest?
:-)
------ Paul J. Gans [ga...@panix.com]
Tony Jebson
Dick Wisan wrote:
> All this is inconclusive and unfair. At 26 pounds and 27 inches of
> waistline, Grendel is clearly a Clydesdale cat, which _no_ authority
> even suggests the Romans ever possessed. Furthermore, since the
> Romans did not employ the vacuum cleaner, they had no requirement
> for a 26 pound 27 inch waistlined Clydesdale to pull it.
stop torchering thee oother Grendel or i feed jebson to mi muther
GRENDEL
Dick Wisan
In article <6arl5k$c4e$1@nnrp3>, pine...@swbell.net says...
>
>I performed a reconstructive experiment this morning with the comparative
>pulling ability of the old horse harnesses and the padded collar...
> ...used this harness
>to harness our large cat (26 pounds, 27 inch waistline) to the vacuum
>cleaner (36 pounds)...
>
>...While Grendel and the vacuum cleaner were busy not moving, I padded the
>collar with a dishtowel. I unharnessed Grendel from the vacuum cleaner and
>rehitched him using the collar. When I turned the vacuum on again, he and
>his vacuum cleaner launched into next week, finally coming to a stop at the
>living room wall, eighty feet away.
>
>Possible conclusions: ...
All this is inconclusive and unfair. At 26 pounds and 27 inches of
waistline, Grendel is clearly a Clydesdale cat, which _no_ authority
even suggests the Romans ever possessed. Furthermore, since the Romans
did not employ the vacuum cleaner, they had no requirement for a 26
pound 27 inch waistlined Clydesdale to pull it.
Their cats and their harnesses were perfectly adequate for the vacuums
they did possess, and it is altogether scurrilous to imply anything else.
--
R. N. (Dick) Wisan - Email: wis...@norwich.net
- Snail: 37 Clinton Street, Oneonta NY 13820, U.S.A.
- Just your opinion, please, ma'am: No fax.