King's Weekly Awards
Zak May
to reward the loyal citizens of his kingdom with more than the usual mix of
opinionated garbage and sexual come-ons, and present the first Royal Weekly
Awards - for the week between Sunday, May 8 1994 and Saturday, May 14 1994.
Let the festive ceremony begin.
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The best poster.
1. Dmitry Pruss - for the brilliant "To Dragon Fly" thread. It's rare that
you see as much quiet self-expression, as much relaxed determination and
as much subtle humor concentrated into one SCS thread.
2. Ed Gokhman - for his "Brediatina" posting. Ed raises netting to a level
that is unreachable for the rest - taking the KIBO principle ("Knowledge
in, bullshit out") to its absurd extreme.
3. Alexander Rylyakov - for the "Borodenka" series. Sasha started out as a
meta-bound poster - critisizing the newsgroup without adding anything to
its creative input. It took him several months to realize the potential
of the meta-approach, but it was well worth it.
---
The most promising newcomer.
Ivan the Bulgarian, iv5...@tntech.edu.
Exceptional dynamics, complete absence of prejudice, commendable ease
of quoting, rare unpredictability, and unprecedented grasp of the SCS
essence - all these qualities signify a Big Future awaiting for Ivan.
---
The most important event.
Elimination of Serdar Argic.
Some say Serdar is just busy preparing a new campaign. Some say he's
restructuring his routine - to hit back soon. Some say he got scared
of the news.admin.policy's determination against him. Your King says
he is glad there is no Serdar anymore - and he wants to thank whoever
was involved in the vicious extermination campaign (especially, Peter
Vorobieff - the Leader of the Fight).
---
The best article.
1. <1994May10.2...@alw.nih.gov>, "To Dragon Fly" - by Dmitry Pruss.
Quote:
As to hruschowka's, I fail to see anything either covetable or horryfying
in it... could you please explain what's wrong with my mom buying a '63
vintage 2BR (izol, s/u razd., bez balkona)? Just a workhorse of Soviet
housing ... and I miss it, you know... What a goosberry bush we had there,
right under our windows! What a summer splashing in Woroncowskie ponds!
What a winter skiing - they didn't have any Teply Stans back then, so I
could put on my skis and run right from my doorsteps - and far past the
Beltway! Da, mnogo wody uteklo...
2. <j...@sky.net>, "Xpucmos Bockpece!" - by Divine Entity
Quote:
>BCEX BAC HAE6A/\u!!! HAWU KOCMOHABTbI BCEX BAC TPAXHyT PA3OM !!!
>
>XPuCTOC - OnuyM BAM B POT !!!!!!
Kycu 3a Xyu, nugopac
Cordially,
Xpucmoc
3. <2qe2v2$1...@ysics.physics.sunysb.edu> "Net" - by Alexander Rylyakov
Quote:
>I wish. It's only but a dream.
Skazal Zak, vpletaya v borodenku bantiki, fantiki, pustye konservnye
banki i elochnye igrushki - dlya krasoty.
---
The most courageous behaviour in a flamewar.
Dima Volodin, d...@demos.su.
Dima surprised the hell out of me by staying out of the "advertising sovoks"
discussion, and making a single comment about the suspected prejudice on one
of the sides. Let's see if he can win the next week's award after the great
"Pussies of relcom.talk vs. Monsters of SCS" free-for-all.
---
The most entertaining thread.
"Gerbils" on k12.lang.russian.
The dissafected bunch that escaped the SCS brand of unrestricted topical
diversity could find nothing better to discuss than a certain species of
rodents which is famous for its use in homosexual acts. Looking forward
to the next week's thread: "Chto jeshcho amerikantsy zasovyvajut v zhopu,
kogda my otvorachivajemsia".
---
The most descriptive one-liner.
1. "Gde lyudi? Gde vi'sokie ideali'? Gde subbota?" - by Ed Gokhman.
2. "Yulduz, kak mnogo v etom slove..." - by Alexander Burshteyn.
3. "Godami sumrachno i tupo nad SCS visit zalupa." - by Eugene Shadrin.
4. "Vojna konchilas' 49 let nazad. Davajte pomolchim." - by Vadim Lvovich.
5. "DA NALEITE ZHE CHESHIRE VODU V BASSEIN !!!" - by Paul Clark.
6. "Summer weather in Vladivostok is very similar to Nebraska weather" -
by Irina Khrebtukhova.
7. "Ah ty govno bespoloe!" - by Sergey Petrov.
8. "What's the difference between Ukrainian "G" and, say, "G" Russian?" -
by Mikhail Nesterenko.
9. "Nu zachem zhe tak, Volodia, ved' Sasha zhe nas kak chelovekov prosil, a ty
otvechaesh' kak poslednii arkhimudilo s khuebliadskoi pizdoproebinoi" -
by Michael Martynov.
10. "In normal circumstances, Zak, I woulda said that I love you, but
unfortunately, I gather that you have faggish, unnatural, sick and
totally perversive sexual inclinations and a statement of love coming
from me may be misinterpreted and taken advantage of, which would be
most unfortunate for my virgin asshole and for the balance of my whole
being." - by Ivan the Bulgarian.
---
The best female poster.
Tie: Inna Lauris & Olga Waupotitsch, for their participation in
Leonid Delitsyn's "Husbands" thread.
Quote:
: So they pretty much spend most of their teenage years trying to get as many
: guys as possible to like them while boys are getting ahead in school.
: That's why I favor separate schools for girls and boys
: from age 11. :)
That's an interesting point of view. I am considreing this possibility
for a high school. In my daughters school about 30% of girls does
go to girls only high school. I have mixed emotions on this subject.
After all we did grow up in co-ed schools and were able to study well,
why can't they do it here.
---
The most stupid question from an outsider.
The "modern geography" submission by Paul D Meartz.
Quote:
She will be teaching a geography course on "Russia and Friends and
Neighbors." She is looking for and up-to-date text or book to use.
---
The most welcomed innovation.
The "Russian party at Stanford" ad by Arthur Kravchenko.
I couldn't be more happy that college communities find us an appropriate
forum for advertisements of Russian events. Hope to see more of them in
the future.
---
The funniest mistake in a post.
The misinterpreted Stirlitz joke by Alexandre Jdanovitch.
Quote:
Procipaetcia Stirlitz utrom v turemnoi kamere c baduna i ne mojet
vcpomnit' gde on. Dumaet: ecli zaidet coldat v nemetskoi forme - znatchit
on ofitser reixa, ecli coldat budet v covetckoi fomre znatchit
on polkovnik CA Makcimov. Vnezapno dver' kamer' otkr'vaetcia i vxodit
militsioner i govorit:
nu i napilic' je v' vtchera tovaritsh Isaev
---
The biggest pathetically nostalgic content in a post.
The citing of "Bychok" by Alexander Burshteyn.
---
The best insult.
"Vulis-Perdulis", by Irina Kosinovsky.
---
The most annoying poster.
Igor Roschin, a.k.a. Tortojedik.
As if the wave of IRC-styled garbage from Urbana wasn't bad enough in itself,
Igor chose to post some of his gems under a pseudonym - screwing everybody's
KILL-files in the process.
---
The best coalition.
Dimitry Vulis - Dr. Marina Vulis.
---
The most boring poster.
Mikhail Gorbunov - for the "Is racism an appropriate word?" thread.
---
The best .sig file.
Kisa.
| \_/ |
| o.o |
==( _ )==
-U-----U-
---
The best use of English language in a posting.
Mikhail Zeleny.
Quote:
As regards your arrogation of the office of the Delphic oracle, I was
unaware that such incontrovertible pronouncements could be so readily
blown out of your well-plumbed arsehole.
---
The most determined poster.
Igor Belchinsky - for the "Coalition for better SCS" series.
---
The highest level of abstraction in a thread.
"In our image and likeness" - by Yuri Ammosov and Igor Belchinsky.
---
Quote of the week.
"Maybe we should keep this in mind the next time we encounter (on the
net or anywhere else) an unfortunate soul who cannot find love anywhere
else and is forced to seek it through us with his abuses. Maybe, we
should give him what he's seeking - LOVE!"
by Ivan the Bulgarian.
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___
Zak.
Vladimir Smirnov
>
>3. Alexander Rylyakov - for the "Borodenka" series. Sasha started out as a
Oh, you like flattery, your majesty, eh?
>2. <j...@sky.net>, "Xpucmos Bockpece!" - by Divine Entity
I'd make it Number 1.
>The most stupid question from an outsider.
>
> The "modern geography" submission by Paul D Meartz.
>
>Quote:
>
> She will be teaching a geography course on "Russia and Friends and
> Neighbors." She is looking for and up-to-date text or book to use.
It's the most stupid place in your analysis. Geography is not
only rivers and mountains, but frontiers and new names as well.
The funniest post:
I'd make it "Priko-ol" by Ammosov, if I hadn't posted the same a month ago...
- Smirnov
Eugene Shadrin
: "Tut nekotorye stali prishivat' nakladnye vorotnichki,"
: (Raz uzh poshla takaya moda proveryat' na korolevstvo tsitatami,
: ugadyvaj i moi, hotya chego tut ugadyvat')
Eto Muller tak govoril.
Ya pomnyu.
>|<EHR
Yuri Ammosov
>
>
> The funniest post:
>I'd make it "Priko-ol" by Ammosov, if I hadn't posted the same a month ago...
>
>- Smirnov
>
>
Thank you! Unfortuately, I cannot accept the honor in full since I just
reposted the stuff recieved from one of my friends who recieved it from
somewhere else...
May I humbly suggest that you nominate my epochal phrase 'V zhope govno'
for the 'Phrase of the Year' contest?
--
Stirlitz, alias Mad Cat
(known to some users as Yuri Ammosov)
'Consensus is the death of leadership.'
-- Maggie Thatcher, February 1994
Irina Khrebtukova
: >|<EHR
A vas, tovarisch Shtirlits, ya poproshu ne podskazyvat'.
____
T.I.
Irina Khrebtukova
: 6. "Summer weather in Vladivostok is very similar to Nebraska weather" -
: by Irina Khrebtukhova.
What's wrong with it? A byl li ty kogda-nibud' vo Vladivostoke?
A v Nebraske?
Vot to-to...
A ya, mezhdu prochim, svoi luchshie, mozhno skazat' leta (ot slova leto)
provevela tam, ne stol'ko, pravda, v samom Vladike, skol'ko v ego
okrestnostyah, blizhe k Nahodke, na biostantsii "Vostok",no tem ne menee
[mnogochislennye vospominaniya skipped... tozhe, vspomnila
babushka...Yur'ev den']
Koroche, i tam i tam letom ochen' vlazhno i pahnet yaponskim
morem (tol'ko na vostoke ono est' a tut net)
I voobsche tut NICHEGO net....
Daaa, kto o chem: vshivyj - o bane, Rylyakov - o borodenke,
a ya - o Nebraske vse.... Vidat',dostalo...
I esche, zaodno uzh...
"Tut nekotorye stali prishivat' nakladnye vorotnichki,"
v smysle
: The most entertaining thread.
: "Gerbils" on k12.lang.russian.
tak vot
"Ptichku nashu poproshu ne obizhat'"
(Raz uzh poshla takaya moda proveryat' na korolevstvo tsitatami,
ugadyvaj i moi, hotya chego tut ugadyvat')
________
Tetya Ira iz Nebraski, s homyachkom.
Vladimir Smirnov
>
>May I humbly suggest that you nominate my epochal phrase 'V zhope govno'
>for the 'Phrase of the Year' contest?
Why are you so modest? Make it "century"...
- Smirnov
Dmitrii Manin
In article <2r204v...@umbc9.umbc.edu> sav...@umbc.edu (Zak May) writes:
o The most descriptive one-liner.
[......]
o 10. "In normal circumstances, Zak, I woulda said that I love you, but
o unfortunately, I gather that you have faggish, unnatural, sick and
o totally perversive sexual inclinations and a statement of love coming
o from me may be misinterpreted and taken advantage of, which would be
o most unfortunate for my virgin asshole and for the balance of my whole
o being." - by Ivan the Bulgarian.
To make it a one-liner, you have to remove 5 \n's.
--
- M
Disclaimer: V sluchae oslableniya khrustyaschikh svoistv
Produkt rekomenduetsya podsushit'
Yury Mukharsky
>A ya, mezhdu prochim, svoi luchshie, mozhno skazat' leta (ot slova leto)
>provevela tam, ne stol'ko, pravda, v samom Vladike, skol'ko v ego
>okrestnostyah, blizhe k Nahodke, na biostantsii "Vostok",no tem ne menee
Prgodi, Pogodi, po-moemu "Vostok" na jug ot Vladika? Eto tam gde grebeshkov
do cherta i ran'she vojaki beluh dressirovali?
Yury
iv5...@tntech.edu
> The most promising newcomer.
>
> Ivan the Bulgarian, iv5...@tntech.edu.
Oh hell, that makes me shiver with excitment.
Could you frame it and put a golden stamp on it, so I can send it to
momma? She'll be so proud!..
> Exceptional dynamics, complete absence of prejudice, commendable ease
> of quoting, rare unpredictability, and unprecedented grasp of the SCS
> essence - all these qualities signify a Big Future awaiting for Ivan.
Excellence, babe, that's what's called. (Did I spell this mother
right?)
What has got me worried, though, is this "Big Future" of yours. Is that
like taking it up from behind, from His Majesty Himself?
What an honour! I shall put it in my diary as "The Royal Date":
"On that memorable night, the King personally came to my bedding and
introduced His Majestic Key (all 3.5 inches of it) into my Back Door that has
never been opened before, while whispering pleasantries to no end. He was so
nice about it... royalties are such sweet-hearts!"
Just sharing...
ILYA
-= Ivan =-
---
Modesty is only one of the many wonderful traits that I've been blessed with!
Simon Streltsov
: Welcome to the age of post-modernism on SCS! Your King decided it was time
: opinionated garbage and sexual come-ons, and present the first Royal Weekly
: Awards - for the week between Sunday, May 8 1994 and Saturday, May 14 1994.
Approved.
Representative of SCS sanhedrin.
Pseudo-virtual-SCS-Rabbi Simcha
p.s. the downside is: people will begin compete for rewards,
and it will even increase noise.
: Let the festive ceremony begin.
If any of the prize-winners can make to my shul tomorrow
for Shavuot - I'll present them with a drink.
Irina Khrebtukova
: Yury
Ya zh govoryu, blizhe k Nahodke. Grebeshkov, dejstvitel'no do duri
(i ne tol'ko grebeshkov, a i vsyakoj drugoj morskoj zhivnosti).
A voyaki beluh dressirovali na "Vityaze", eto drugaya biostantsiya,
potom oni (voyaki) ee sovsem otobrali.
T.I. s pamyat'yu o bylyh dnyah na "Vostoke".
Malysh
Zak May (sav...@umbc.edu) wrote:
>: Welcome to the age of post-modernism on SCS! Your King decided it was time
>: to reward the loyal citizens of his kingdom with more than the usual mix of
>: opinionated garbage and sexual come-ons, and present the first Royal Weekly
>: Awards - for the week between Sunday, May 8 1994 and Saturday, May 14 >:
1994.
> Approved.
>Representative of SCS sanhedrin.
>Pseudo-virtual-SCS-Rabbi Simcha
Approved.
Chairman of SCS Writers' Union
Alex Burshteyn (Malysh)
AB
(Malysh)