SAFM surrealism on air
Peter H.M.Brooks
play my iPod over the radio broke, I, considering that I hadn't read a
newspaper or been connected to the Internet for many days, thought that
I'd catch up on what had been going on in the world.
It happened to be shortly before four in the afternoon, so I sought out
an English speaking station (there was a German speaking one somewhere
along the way), and landed on SAFM. It was most peculiar. After some
frenzied drumming, what was labelled as the 'news' started. I doubt that
anybody could produce a parody of it. It was, as one would expect, in
that charmingly old-fashioned new-speak that calls spokesmen
'spokespersons - or wheel-support-persons' so as not to upset spokes and
to upset English speakers. The reader of the news had some peculiar
mispronunciations as well, suggesting very strongly that English was not
her first language. Why on earth would any broadcasting company use
somebody who isn't a native speaker of the language of the broadcast? Is
it simply that native English speakers are not prepared to mouth the
ungrammatical nonsense?
The first item was about who had attended a funeral of some government
minister that had died. In the old Apartheid days this sort of thing was
staple fare - and I'm sure that it is still pretty standard stuff on
State Radio in North Korea and Zimbabwe. Of course, to those politicians
and civil servants who consider themselves important, this must be
really gripping stuff. Who else could possibly be interested though?
What normal people have any idea of who the Ministers are, unless
they've disgraced themselves in some spectacular manner? If a dozen
Ministers were struck by lightning at the same time, I can see that
being newsworthy - even if half a dozen were devoured by wild beasts in
different parts of the country in the same week, a case could be made
for it being interesting - but, one dead minister?
After that there was an article on the electricity failures caused by
Eskom. I thought that it might be interested, but it consisted entirely
of producing a statement from Eskom. At least that was what it wanted to
do. I'm not sure if SAFM has imported the original Wax cylinder
recording equipment used by Bell, but it sounded as if it had. The only
alternative was that Eskom has, in a deeply cunning plan, hired somebody
with a severe (on the sort of level as Lavinia's in Titus Andronicus)
speech impediment. Hardly a single word said by the spokesman from Eskom
was intelligible.
Then, to pile on more irrelevance, there was a piece about a Nigerian
who was appealing against being hanged in Singapore because he'd been
caught with half a kilo of Heroin on his person at the airport (Why
should South Africans be interested in what happens to Nigerians and
their crimes in foreign parts - the execution of a South African
smuggler might at least have been relevant?). Now, I wouldn't be
surprised to learn that they had a special mass gallows and designated
hang-a-Nigerian execution days in Singapore - the whole world knows that
Nigerians run scams and smuggle things nearly everywhere and have done
for decades. It might be newsworthy to indicate that no Nigerian had
ever been arrested for smuggling drugs into some or other country - New
Zealand might, possibly, never have arrested a Nigerian drug smuggler (I
personally doubt this, though).
Was it some peculiar way of the rulers of SAFM buttering up Singapore?
Most people are against its habits of flogging people on Friday and
hanging them for having tiny amounts of narcotic on their person, was
this an attempt to make people sympathetic? After all, people would be
likely to consider a Nigerian to be probably, at least, guilty, and half
a kilo to be enough to make it clear that it wasn't for his personal
use. So maybe they'd think that hanging people wasn't such a bad thing
after all, and, by extension, maybe Singapore wasn't a barbaric,
backward fascist state.
Or was it a sinister attempt to encourage people to think that state
execution should be re-introduced into South Africa?
After that the 'news' moved over to sport and I chose silence as a
better alternative than the radio.
Is it normally like this? Has anybody checked the sanity of the 'news'
'journalists' on the SABC?
Steve Hayes
wrote:
>Is it normally like this? Has anybody checked the sanity of the 'news'
>'journalists' on the SABC?
It's the one I listen to in the car, except after the 10 pm news, when they
start wittering about "entertainment" or fortune telling, and then I switch to
Classic FM.
--
Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
Web: http://hayesfam.bravehost.com/stevesig.htm
E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk
sportsfan
"Peter H.M.Brooks" <pe...@new.co.za> wrote in message
news:ep1efn$eob$1...@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
snip
>
> After that the 'news' moved over to sport and I chose silence as a better
> alternative than the radio.
worth listening to, why complain here. It is great practice, listening
to African English I find I am able to understand Chinglish and
Taglish (Chinese and Filipino English) quite easily whilst other
English speakers battle with the pronounciation.
William A. Bong
"sportsfan" <big...@telkomsa.net> wrote in message
news:ep1m83$hq3$1...@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
I travel abroad a fair deal, and I too find it easy to understand various
accents and pronunciations, but some of my American colleagues just don't
shape at all with this - they either cannot or will not try understand.
Bob Dubery
Peter H.M.Brooks wrote:
> It happened to be shortly before four in the afternoon, so I sought out
> an English speaking station (there was a German speaking one somewhere
> along the way), and landed on SAFM. It was most peculiar. After some
> frenzied drumming, what was labelled as the 'news' started. I doubt that
> anybody could produce a parody of it. It was, as one would expect, in
> that charmingly old-fashioned new-speak that calls spokesmen
> 'spokespersons - or wheel-support-persons' so as not to upset spokes and
> to upset English speakers. The reader of the news had some peculiar
> mispronunciations as well, suggesting very strongly that English was not
> her first language. Why on earth would any broadcasting company use
> somebody who isn't a native speaker of the language of the broadcast?
That shouldn't render a person illegible for reading the news in
English. There was a time in England when so-called "regional accents"
weren't allowed on the BBC - unless for dramatic roles in radio dramas
set in remote places like Yorkshire or Zummerzet. All news was read in
plummy public school accents which set new standards of pronounciation
for words like "himalayas".
Personally I don't mind accents as long as their is clarity as to what
is being read. I consider mangled grammar or ambiguity to be a far
greater problem.
My main areas of concern when it comes to watching TV are Inspector
Morse (whose accent, grammar, pronunciation and taste in booze are
impeccable) and Cricket. Coverage of the latter is full of accents from
all over the world, but as long as they make sense and can convey the
point I don't see (hear?) a problem.
On a tangential note, I was surprised - but not that surprised - to
read this morning that the country with the largest number of English
speakers is India.
Moira de Swardt
"Peter H.M.Brooks" <pe...@new.co.za> wrote in message
> The reader of the news had some peculiar
> mispronunciations as well, suggesting very strongly that English
was not
> her first language. Why on earth would any broadcasting company
use
> somebody who isn't a native speaker of the language of the
broadcast? Is
> it simply that native English speakers are not prepared to mouth
the
> ungrammatical nonsense?
I love the way things are pronounced by non-native English speakers.
It is an endless source of amusement and can produce as many as half
a dozen grins in a single broadcast. Of course, most of the
problems are due either to the hideous flattening of a vowel which
shouldn't be flattened, or to accenting the wrong syllable, but
every so often there's one which has me in stitches.
My current sweetie has a hearing problem which has been useful in
the diagnosis and cure of some of my own laxity in the matter of
speaking clearly.
> Then, to pile on more irrelevance, there was a piece about a
Nigerian
> who was appealing against being hanged in Singapore because he'd
been
> caught with half a kilo of Heroin on his person at the airport
(Why
> should South Africans be interested in what happens to Nigerians
and
> their crimes in foreign parts - the execution of a South African
> smuggler might at least have been relevant?).
There are a lot of Nigerians in South Africa now. They probably
found that piece of information quite relevant.
> Is it normally like this? Has anybody checked the sanity of the
'news'
> 'journalists' on the SABC?
It's usually like that.
--
Moira de Swardt posting from Johannesburg, South Africa
Remove the dot in my address to find me at home.
Peter H.M.Brooks
>
> There are a lot of Nigerians in South Africa now. They probably
> found that piece of information quite relevant.
>
is an altogether good thing.
>
>> Is it normally like this? Has anybody checked the sanity of the
> 'news'
>> 'journalists' on the SABC?
>
> It's usually like that.
>
building of schools etc., by just closing the whole place down - that'd
just be too sensible, I suppose.
bigdude
> On the long drive back from the Drakensberg, after the attachment to
> play my iPod over the radio broke, I, considering that I hadn't read a
> newspaper or been connected to the Internet for many days, thought that
> I'd catch up on what had been going on in the world.
>
> It happened to be shortly before four in the afternoon, so I sought out
> an English speaking station (there was a German speaking one somewhere
> along the way), and landed on SAFM. It was most peculiar. After some
> frenzied drumming, what was labelled as the 'news' started. I doubt that
> anybody could produce a parody of it. I
<snip>
Its been like this for years, it due to AA on the SABC. Never mind your
accent, your grammar etc, your main quality is your black skin..
Welcome back to SA reality!
--
first world medicine only for countries with first world birthrates
Bob Dubery
Bob Dubery wrote:
> Personally I don't mind accents as long as their is clarity as to what
> is being read.
And as long as the reader knows when to use "their", "there" or
"they're".
sportsfan
"William A. Bong" <you.can.calll.me..bill@bong.co> wrote in message
news:51j9vdF...@mid.individual.net...
>
> "sportsfan" <big...@telkomsa.net> wrote in message
> news:ep1m83$hq3$1...@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
> |
> | "Peter H.M.Brooks" <pe...@new.co.za> wrote in message
> | news:ep1efn$eob$1...@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
> | snip
>
> I travel abroad a fair deal, and I too find it easy to understand various
> accents and pronunciations, but some of my American colleagues just don't
> shape at all with this - they either cannot or will not try understand.
Yes it is really strange I have a friend who lives in China he has been
there 4 years and he cannot or will not make an effort to understand
the locals. His Chinese wife has to translate for him where ever he
goes, even my basic Mandarin is better than his. Some people
seem to think that if something is important enough the other person
should make the effort to communicate it somehow. I could not
contain myself when visiting the Tiger sanctuary in Chendu when
I asked the young lady official for directions and she replied
"You may only visit my pubic areas" I really enjoy
Chinglish it can be extremely funny reading some of the signs,
and trying to understand the meanings Some of my best are ;-
"No tossing of this bridge"
"Pubic Toilets"
"Genitl Emen"
"Do not open with sharp instruction"
"If you fall mind step it may hurt"
"To take notice of safe: The slippery are very crafty"
"Deformed man toilet"
"Do not throw urine around"
"Visit in civilisation, pay attention to hygiene"
>
>
ne...@absamail.co.za
<snip>
Welcome to new-SA.
But you must admit that the still allowed open-info facilities are good.
Although the exposures tend to just get swamped in the noise.
Both the fall of communism and the coming of the internet were
good reasons for the previous regime to hand the diarrhea-ing
baby to the ANC.
Some things still puzle me:
Why the SABC's new acknowledgement of a crime problem ?
Have others also notice that ETV is allowed to over-rule the
ANC line by pushing the Islam-line ?
== Chris Glur.
Moira de Swardt
"sportsfan" <big...@telkomsa.net> wrote in message
> "No tossing of this bridge"
> "Pubic Toilets"
> "Genitl Emen"
> "Do not open with sharp instruction"
> "If you fall mind step it may hurt"
> "To take notice of safe: The slippery are very crafty"
> "Deformed man toilet"
> "Do not throw urine around"
> "Visit in civilisation, pay attention to hygiene"
I love the signs in the women's toilet in the building where I am
currently temping. "If you do not know how to flush the toilet,
please enquire at the office of the attorneys (opposite) and one of
the staff members there will assist you." Apparently since that
notice has gone up the only comments have come from staff and
visitors to the attorneys but the cleanliness of the toilets has
increased markedly.
Steve Hayes
wrote:
>Is it normally like this? Has anybody checked the sanity of the 'news'
>'journalists' on the SABC?
And another thing:
Yesterday they were talking about US presidential hopefuls Barak Obama and
Hillary Clinton, and it was all about race and sex -- not a word about their
policies etc. It seems that the media think that racism and sexism are cool.
But SAFM is not alone to blame for this, it seems to be common in the US media
too. See:
for further comments and links to other observations.
Bob Dubery
Peter H.M.Brooks wrote:
> It happened to be shortly before four in the afternoon, so I sought out
> an English speaking station (there was a German speaking one somewhere
> along the way), and landed on SAFM. It was most peculiar. After some
> frenzied drumming, what was labelled as the 'news' started. I doubt that
> anybody could produce a parody of it. It was, as one would expect, in
> that charmingly old-fashioned new-speak that calls spokesmen
> 'spokespersons - or wheel-support-persons' so as not to upset spokes and
> to upset English speakers. The reader of the news had some peculiar
> mispronunciations as well, suggesting very strongly that English was not
> her first language. Why on earth would any broadcasting company use
> somebody who isn't a native speaker of the language of the broadcast?
That shouldn't render a person illegible for reading the news in
English. There was a time in England when so-called "regional accents"
weren't allowed on the BBC - unless for dramatic roles in radio dramas
set in remote places like Yorkshire or Zummerzet. All news was read in
plummy public school accents which set new standards of pronounciation
for words like "himalayas".
Personally I don't mind accents as long as their is clarity as to what
Bob Dubery
So it's not a case of the better 5/8 having slipped something in my
tea. Something or somebody HAS reposted several of my posts.
The reposts are coming from something called giganews, not, as far as I
can see, from google.
Bob Dubery
Peter H.M.Brooks wrote:
> It happened to be shortly before four in the afternoon, so I sought out
> an English speaking station (there was a German speaking one somewhere
> along the way), and landed on SAFM. It was most peculiar. After some
> frenzied drumming, what was labelled as the 'news' started. I doubt that
> anybody could produce a parody of it. It was, as one would expect, in
> that charmingly old-fashioned new-speak that calls spokesmen
> 'spokespersons - or wheel-support-persons' so as not to upset spokes and
> to upset English speakers. The reader of the news had some peculiar
> mispronunciations as well, suggesting very strongly that English was not
> her first language. Why on earth would any broadcasting company use
> somebody who isn't a native speaker of the language of the broadcast?
That shouldn't render a person illegible for reading the news in