60 Fun Things to do in an Elevator (fwd)
Tayo Olorunyolemi
From daemon Thu Jan 25 11:17:34 1996
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Date: Thu, 25 Jan 1996 12:00:23 -0500
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Subject: 60 Fun Things to do in an Elevator
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Tayo,
Could you pass this on to Naijanet; somebody in my office passed
it on to me. Take care.
Toks
60 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Get on at the basement floor and ask, "Going up?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, damnit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"
incessantly.
5. Stand with your back to the doors and open your book "Successful
Elevator Hostage Takeovers".
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
"Got enough air in there?"
9. Sing Whitney Houstan's "And I Will Always Love You" at the top of
your voice.
10. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and
ask them to call you Admiral.
14. With one hand shaking in your inside jacket pocket, start
crying "Vinny's dead, man! Vinny's dead".
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay
open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go
"plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not
now, damned motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow quietly.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...corn flakes".
29. Leave a fake hand between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for
them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and insult other passengers through
it.
32. Pass out sticks and marshmallows and ask who has a light.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Yell "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Keep glancing back at the guy behind you and, after a few floors,
push him up against the wall and say "Stop following me!"
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a big armchair along and ask the guy in front of you to
please stop blocking the screen.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings and giggle.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host
body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your nose and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming
"Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a sumo-wrestling tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other
passengers like they're crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and
wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how
husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to
the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting
"Down! I said down, damn you!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets
on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air a few times. Sniff at your
neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step
away.
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