Rape and Hmong
a Person
Here is my story:
I'm sadly to say, I'm a Hmong Incest Rape Victim. You may ask why I
have written it that why is because I know rape does occur in the
community and families. I want to be the first to let you know, as a
viticm of rape. This is no make-up story and i didn't think in the top
of my head. I was debating if i should tell my story , because it's so
personal and the rapist is still walking among me.
I won't change names, because i know it must be heard. I won't protect
his rights because he took me away on a cold winter night. I was
visiting my cousin's family. This family was a middle class family who
owned a restaurant in Michigan. They were a well known family through
out Michigan. I was there to help in the restaurant over my spring
break year of 1993-4. I remember that night was really cold and i
shared a room with my sister. The door was not shut all the way, becuase
one of the beds in the room was too big so, it was blocking the door
way. I laid there sleepless, because I was sexually harassed early in
the day and was deciding if i should call home for my mother to come and
pick me up. Va came in the room between 2:30 to 2:40 am. I was freaked
by finding him in the room. My heart was beating so hard, i swore he
would of heard it also. He hovered over me and the rape begun. When he
left, my whole entire body was numbed. I couldn't feel my heart beating
because that night my soul died. I wasn't who i was...my body was
strange and my rights were stolen from me. I laid in bed crying, not too
loud to wake my sister who was laying in the other bed. She didn't hear
a thing, well i was too shaken and too scared to make a sound. Later,
that morning, i didn't know what to do. I didn't want to see him. All i
wanted to do was hide and go home. Who would of believed me??? I
thought. My parents wuold just said, you persade him and his mother
would of just said marry her! I blamed on myself. (which i knew it
wasn't my fault) But i did.
I never told anyone, except my sisters. Today, he's married and still
walking among my life. I'm still angered by what he have done, and he
knows he done wrong. I made sure he knew. I'm still debating if i should
take him to court. The rape incident is 4 years old now. I don't know if
i should still send him to jail.
Well, hear is your first true rape story from a Hmong girl. Just to
let you know...Rape does occur among the Hmong Societies and families.
My own personal life story should get you Hmong men to think twice...and
victims to come foward. This is an issue we women must acknowledge to
the societies. Rape shouldn't live among you or I!!!!
Justice must be served !!!!!!!!
a Person
Here is my story:
waCYANG2221 wrote:
>
> Rape happens in the Hmong society even more than any other cultures. I am
> 39 years old. I did it and I saw it in Laos where older Hmong men would
> go at night searching for girls who either went to sleep soundedly or
> naked and did it silently. Some girls responded with anger, shame, guilts,
> while others kept it quiet since no one (or no law) really dealt with it
> seriously since the power given to men was so greatly. There are more
> laws to protect the women in this country and men feel bad that they do
> not thave the opportunity to do such things anymore. Sorry if I have
> overstated it.
a Person
T. Xiong
I don't know if this story is true or not because of the anonymity of
the writer. In any case, it does bring forth the astrocities that
effect the Hmong culture.
Rape in the Hmong cultural context is so complicated that cases that do
go to court are often settled without 'justice' for the woman. The two
systems of legalism contradict each other. Hmong 'specialists' will be
called in to testify, as an earlier posted pointed out, does rape happen
in Hmong society?
The bottom line is that rape DOES happen in Hmong society. Anyone who
denies this fact denies the victims of any kind of personhood.
I don't if the statute of limitations will affect this particular case
since it is four years old but in any case some kind of acknowledgement
or 'justice' must be served. It is not right for one person to go
through life harboring all the trauma while the other person is living
freely and without any reparations or stigma.
Bad things happen in this world to us even if we try our best to avoid
them; I guess we must educated ourselves and our children that rape
and/or other 'bad things' are going to happen and that they need to
speak out and resist; not to accept anything/everything if they are not
consenting. And that rape is not the woman's fault but it is
perpetrated through the evilness nature of men. *not all men but some.
vc...@lexis-nexismail.com
In article <334D4D...@sfsu.edu>,
The case is true, whether the circumstances are true is another question.
The person accussed, did received judicial punishment for his crime.
Rape, whether in Hmong or other culture, is a terrible thing. Rape can
be devastating to the victim, and equally devastating to the innocent
accussed.
How do we differential between the actual rape, and the rape used as a
weapon to get at a man?
Vamin
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
vc...@lexis-nexismail.com
In article <334D4D...@sfsu.edu>,
"T. Xiong" <tym...@sfsu.edu> wrote:
>
> I don't know if this story is true or not because of the anonymity of
> the writer. In any case, it does bring forth the astrocities that
> effect the Hmong culture.
> Rape in the Hmong cultural context is so complicated that cases that do
> go to court are often settled without 'justice' for the woman. The two
> systems of legalism contradict each other. Hmong 'specialists' will be
> called in to testify, as an earlier posted pointed out, does rape happen
> in Hmong society?
> The bottom line is that rape DOES happen in Hmong society. Anyone who
> denies this fact denies the victims of any kind of personhood.
> I don't if the statute of limitations will affect this particular case
> since it is four years old but in any case some kind of acknowledgement
> or 'justice' must be served. It is not right for one person to go
> through life harboring all the trauma while the other person is living
> freely and without any reparations or stigma.
> Bad things happen in this world to us even if we try our best to avoid
> them; I guess we must educated ourselves and our children that rape
> and/or other 'bad things' are going to happen and that they need to
> speak out and resist; not to accept anything/everything if they are not
> consenting. And that rape is not the woman's fault but it is
> perpetrated through the evilness nature of men. *not all men but some.
I reply earlier to this article with wrong information because of the
different thread. Please disregard the information - the infor was for
the case in the original posting.
Sorry for the confusion if the Usenet did not remove my earlier reply.
Nat Makarevitch
a Person writes:
> Here is my story: I'm sadly to say, I'm a Hmong Incest Rape Victim.
one may think that, by hiding those facts, you are traped into a "taboo"
which is exploited by the rapists. if something does not stop him he may do
it again, on other women...
(I'm not a Hmong, those words are from my Hmong wife)
--
Nat, using Linux
CYANG2221
A Person:
If your story was true, I'm sorry to hear it. Unfortunately, that's how
rape often occurs in the Hmong society. The pain will certainly stay with
you for a long, long time, especially if you lost your virginity to this
rapist.
Let me say that sometimes it's better to keep it silent, too, because if
you would have spoken up, the Hmong elders probably would not do nothing
but discourage you to report it to the authority. A niece of mine was
raped in this country 2 years ago in her house at 14 (she was a virgin) by
an adult (25). When the father learned about this, he sued the Hmong man
in the Hmong tradition and received $4,000, instead of pursuing the case
in court. The girl did make a report to the school, but was forced by the
family to withdraw the allegation by stating that such issues would be
bothering her schooling and taht she would like to hold the case until she
finishes HS. I doubt that the case would be reopen. In your case, do
speak up and make your voice heard. You females deserve to be heard. You
have been oppressed and hurt for so long. Good luck!!!!
vc...@lexis-nexismail.com
In article <334D43...@oakland.edu>,
> I never told anyone, except my sisters. Today, he's married and still
> walking among my life. I'm still angered by what he have done, and he
> knows he done wrong. I made sure he knew. I'm still debating if i should
> take him to court. The rape incident is 4 years old now. I don't know if
> i should still send him to jail.
> Well, hear is your first true rape story from a Hmong girl. Just to
> let you know...Rape does occur among the Hmong Societies and families.
> My own personal life story should get you Hmong men to think twice...and
> victims to come foward. This is an issue we women must acknowledge to
> the societies. Rape shouldn't live among you or I!!!!
> Justice must be served !!!!!!!!
I hope that you can come to term with this tragic incident and not allow
it to ruin your life. I am sure there are those out there that are being
subjected to the same thing that you had been, but like you they are
either too embarrass or too afraid to tell anyone.
It okay tell someone. If you feel that your parents will not support you
then tell the authorities or someone you trust. I hope that as we grow,
we will learn to be more perceptive to our brothers or sisters coming to
us with their problems. At that time I hope we can help to resolve the
situation. We have to understand that especially in rape cases, the girl
never asked to be raped. The SAD thing is that most rape or over 2/3 of
violent victimization against women were committed by someone known to
them. UNFORTUNATELY, as in your case, only a small number report the
cases to the authorities. In the Hmong community, there may be less
because of the placement of shame on the girl and her family. We looked
down on them as soiled beings rather than innocent victims of a malicious
crime.
You should not be ashame because you were simply the victim. You didnot
ask for it. I hope our sisters out there will get this. They should not
be afraid of their family or of the authorities. Especially in the case
of rape, time is of the essence. The longer you wait, the harder it is
to prove. As time passes, it will be your word against his - all
evidence will be destroyed.
If I have a child, I would hope that he/she would come to me whenever
ANYTHING bad happens to him/her. I hope never to even hint that I will
be mad or disappointed if he/she should become victims to a crime with or
without their faults.
Good luck to you, and best wishes for your future. I hope you will use
your experience to help others.
Vamin Cha
Paul C. Lee
Hi there, I am still in my mid teen years, so I am wondering whether my
words shall matter or not. I am sad to say that you are not the only victim
here. I have known many young girls here that have been though what you
have. Sadly, to be a Hmoob girl and raped, our culture allows nothing to be
done. I just wanted to say that I am happy to hear that there is a Hmoob
rape victim that is not afraid any longer to come out and tell their story.
Maybe you can speak to younger girls and help them know how to prevent rape
or go through with it.
Cindy
vc...@lexis-nexismail.com wrote in article <8611687...@dejanews.com>...
M. Kajsongkram
Since we are actively on the topic of rape, i have a question for the rest
of you to answer. Let's say that a girl and a guy are together in a
private place and the guy (not necessarily hmong) attepmts to seduce the
girl. The girl doesn't physically stop him, but she does say "no". He
stops but only for a second and then proceeds on to take off her clothes
and seduces her even more. She also continues to say "no" but he doesn't
stop. Now, my question is, should this be considered rape because the
girl said "no" (more then once by the way) or is this legitimate sex?....
She doesn't feel any pleasure from the sex and at the end of the event,
she feels extremely invaded and overpowered. Is this really rape or
consented sex?
vc...@lexis-nexismail.com
In article
<Pine.OSF.3.95.970422...@becker2.u.washington.edu>, "M.
Kajsongkram" <mkaj...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
No means no. If she says "no" even once, the guy could be brought up on
charge of rape. She doesn't have to fight, scratch, yell, scream, or
anything else. For the guys, if she says "no", better take a cold shower
or risk rape. If you doubt as to whether she mean no or yes, you better
ask and make it clear.
Of course, this is provided that both people are of the same age. That
is - not one or other is over the age of majority (usually 18) while the
other is under age. In this case, even consentual sex, can and will
probably result in statutory rape if the minor or her/his family brings
charges. Or if she is pregnant and file for state aid, the state will
probably file charges themselves. I hear California had been budgeting
into this section to get prosecutors to help teen mothers get their adult
husbands to help with child support as well as to punish them for their
action.
Each state is different, but most should be pretty close to this. The
situation you described is most common in date rape cases. The girl said
"no", but the guy said "Ohh, she means yes, and she really wanted it."
Well, The law probably won't think so, and neither did she.
Vamin
Me Hmoob
M. Kajsongkram wrote:
>
> Since we are actively on the topic of rape, i have a question for the rest
> of you to answer. Let's say that a girl and a guy are together in a
> private place and the guy (not necessarily hmong) attepmts to seduce the
> girl. The girl doesn't physically stop him, but she does say "no". He
> stops but only for a second and then proceeds on to take off her clothes
> and seduces her even more. She also continues to say "no" but he doesn't
> stop. Now, my question is, should this be considered rape because the
> girl said "no" (more then once by the way) or is this legitimate sex?....
> She doesn't feel any pleasure from the sex and at the end of the event,
> she feels extremely invaded and overpowered. Is this really rape or
> consented sex?
Well, hard to say. From my opinion, I think this is not a rape case.
Even though you (the girl) said "NO", why did she let him do it? A NO
is a NO. Then if he tried to force you, that would be a rape. Sorry to
hear that.
Sheng Hang
I believe when a woman says no...it pretty much means NO. Don't you
think??? Define the word No and you get my drift.It Doesn't matter is she
physically doesn't push her offender away, because she may be frighten
that she
might get hurt or him hitting her that might knock her out unconcious.
so, to let you know, the word No means no...even if the victim doesn't
push her offender away from her.
sheng
Analnomous
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