Hmong Marriage vs Funeral

[Zoo]

Without realizing for very long time, but Hmong are very generous on
funeral spending and very highly conservative on marriage spending and
dowry.

When it come to bride price we will fight tooth and nail down to bare
minimum without realizing that the bride, often time will come and
help raise the family, bring prosperity, name and reputation to the
groom's.

At one recent wedding, I over heard, the bride price was 10k and most
people who heard the news were very uneasy about the price. Similarly,
at a recent funeral in a local area, just the booze bill alone was
about 5k.

The reason for the booze bill was so high because the preferred drink
was Heineken, a premium imported brand. At first, I did not believe
but again at the same local, a different funeral people served that
same imported brand.

It seems that we Hmong value the dead more than the living.

[All4One]

Here's my view on these issues....As a society we need to follow a set
of rules that govern our tradition if we are to be viewsed as a
civilized society. Rules are established for a reason and it MUST be
honored and obeyed by both parties and should NOT be discussed it with
other expenses in regards to wedding. On the other hand, eating/
drinking....this fall into what I call..."discretionary spending", in
which no set of amount of money is stipulated. Therefore, no amount is
set in stone.

Jim.

[Txawj Xav]

Cov Phooj Ywg.


Vim peb Hmoob ua neej rov qab lawm. Luag lwm haiv neeg ces luag saib
tus neeg tseem muaj txoj sia muaj nuj nqi tshaj tus ua tsis muaj txoj
sia lawm. Hos peb Hmoob ces tus tseem muaj sia mas Hmoob yeej tsis
KKKKK li, tab sis thaum tus neeg ntawm tas sim neej lawm mas "every
one come to see the individual", and willing to give $20.00 nyiaj
tshav ntuj. Tab sis tus graduate mas peb twb tsis kam muaj $1...0 rua
nws vim tias peb nws ce khib khib peb ...

That is why we spend more money for FUNERAL then spend money for
wedding or graduation, etc....

But me, Txawj Xav, I care more about the living then the death ... I
care about wedding, party, meeting more than go to funeral... Fueneral
if it is not my closest relative or if I have nothing to do then I go,
otherwise I go party, meeting first then go to funeral.

TX...

[Hmong-Lao]

Phoojywg Zoo,
Funeral thiab wedding, tsis zoo tib yam. Funeral, koj muaj ces ua loj,
tsis muaj ces ua me. Tshoob kos, koj txawm muaj, txawm pluag los koj
tsis muaj choice. Niam tais thiab yawm txiv kom ua loj ces ua loj,
lawv kom ua me ces ua me. Funeral, ib tug neeg tsuas mua ib lub
funerals xwb; wedding, ib tug neeg yuav ua kaum zaus tshoob los yeej
tseem ua.

Cov neeg laus feem coob, ntshaw kom tau ib lub zoo ntees, co xyom cuab
feeb coob, tsis xav tau lub npe phem uas cia zej zog thuam, tabsis xav
kom neeg zej zog nrog qhuas. Yeeb vim li no, lawv thiaj li yuav tau ua
lawv qhov best los rau lawv tus neeg uas tau tas sim neej ntawd lub
ntees. Hais txog funeral, kuv los yee xam pom hais tias nws muaj ntau
yam uas peb yuav tau txhim kho.

Phoojywg TX,
Muaj coob coob tus puav leej hais ib yam li koj hais thiab. Kuv hais
li no rau koj, es koj mam coj mus xav seb yog li cas xwb.

Thaum lub tsamthawj twg, yog lub tsamthawj uas koj xav tau kev pab
tshajplaws? Tsis hais pab rau sab nyiajtxiag, dagzog, tswvyim, lossis
dejsiab dejntsws?

1. Thaum koj kawm ntawd tiav?
2. Thaum koj ua party ua kev lomzem?
3. Thaum ua koj rooj tshoob (tus tub/ntxhais rooj tshoob)?
4. Thaum ua koj niam/txiv (tus txheebze) lub ntees tuag?

kuv ntseeg kiag hais tias koj yeej hais tias thaum #4 yog lub caij uas
koj xav tau kev pab tshajplaws. Yog koj teb li ntawd ces koj teb nkaus
li peb feem coob lawm ntag. Tsis li ntawd ces koj tsis yog nyob rau
pawg feem coob lawm.

HL

[Zoo]

On Dring VP's funeral, many nonhmong asled, arehmong in morning of
their leader or have party?

If one stand back and look, one might have the same question.