The End of Hmong Traditional Wedding Practices

[Hmoobleejtub]

So I guess these days Hmong traditional wedding are fading away as
more and more Hmong elders are practicing less and less of the Hmong
traditional wedding ways. Recently being to couple of Hmong wedding
and barely see any Hmong elders sing the "zaj tshoob". What I saw was
that children are now becoming the person who sit with the bride and
groom in the table, the elders are watching children helping children
to perform the ceremony. The elders now would told each others side
to "to skip all long and unnecessary steps," and "make it simply and
easy". A typical wedding now only wold only consisted of about three
components left, base on my observation. 1) When the broom and groom
arrived, they immediately negotiated the bride price (there is no sing
of the zaj tshoob, etc. Negotiation typical last around one hours.
Once they are done, it's a done deal and all people started eating,
then sleep and prepared for the big day the next day. 3) On the next's
day, everyone started to prepared some food to be eaten. At the
table, children are now asking to be the participated where they would
sit with bride and groom for about less than an hours (there is no
singing) just eating like a regular party. After the eating, then
groom to "pe" and go home. All steps are skips and there's still no
singing of the zaj tshoob. How interesting these days of how Hmong
traditional wedding are being practice? It's so easy now as it does
not typical have to required real Mej Koob to sing the songs anymore.
How should we improved our practices or should we continue to make it
as easy as seemed base on my observation.

[tsujsu...@hotmail.com]

Hmong,

the real question is, what are you going to do about it?

yaweh

[Mogee]

I understand your concern. Every day, we are discovering that aspects
of our culture are either becoming obsolete or are simply being
disposed of for convenience sake. Not all change, however, is
necessarily for ill.

The one detail that you point specifically and revisit on at least two
occasion is the omittance of the "zaj tshoob." What are the words of
the zaj tshoob? What are the underlying messages? Are we doing
ourselves a disservice by omitting these steps. What are the impacts,
if any?

Unfortunately, I think, the value of the zaj tshoob has been displaced
by its inconvenience. Even though there are plenty of mej koob that
can still sing the songs, and the new mej koob can learn the songs, it
serves no purpose if there is no one to appreciate the songs any
longer. The underlying problem here, I think, is language. The Hmong
songs of old are becoming a thing of the past, are no longer a part of
our daily lives. Instead, they have been relegated to the stage
performances, and studios. The ability of the normal every day Hmong
person to understand and truly appreciate Hmong singing is dwindling.
As such, those songs find very little use.

The question Yaweh asks, regarding self action is a good one. Each
one of us has the ability to make an impact, at the very least, within
our own circles. I myself, welcome change, until I see enough
detrimental effects to warrant a re-evaluation of that position.

[Hmong-Lao]

Py Hmoobleejtub,
Hmoob ib txwm hais tias ib rab teb ib tsa txuj. Nyob rau peb thaj tsam
ntawm no (Midwest) mas tus nkauj nyab thiab niam txais ntsuab yeej
tsis tau nrog zaum koom lub rooj tshoob li. Tsuas yog tus nraug vauv
thiab phijlaj thiaj tau zaum saum lub rooj tshoob xwb. Thaum noj mov
nkaus nkaus xwb no mas kuj hais tsis tau! Hos qhov koj pom cov hluas
zaum saum rooj mas, kuv ntseeg hais tias yog tej laus tso cov hluas
los xyaum xwb. Hos ob tug nus tij cuam qhua mas yeej yog xaiv tus
hluas kom phim zaum nrog nraug vauv thiab phijlaj xwb. Dhau li ntawd,
niam no peb cov laus pheej muaj muaj mob ces feem ntau yeej caiv dej
caw lawm, yog li ntawd, thiaj pheej tso cov hluas zog los zaum ntau
lawm xwb. Qhov no tsis tau txhais hais tias cov laus muab kab tshoob
kev kos tso tseg no od.

HL

[Cat]

It shows our ability to adapt to our new land with new restrictions.
Realistically who has all weekend long. We all have families each of
our families require time, some people have jobs on the weekends. No
one is learning the traditional songs that goes with the wedding
because it does not pay, the market dictates what we take the time to
invest and learn. My advice is that you'll have adapt with the rest
because when it's your turn and you do your weddings for yourself or
your children the old way people will not want to participate with you.

[hnu...@gmail.com]

In my humble opinion, if Hmong rituals/ceremonies were to survive,
they must be appealing to the people - demands & supplies. In my
limited experience as an observer, many Hmong rituals have “flaws" and/
or outdated practices therefore limitations for growth and survival in
the new world. The day when young people start paying for these
ceremonies (like we are now paying for cov txiv qeej, txiv xaiv etc.),
they will ask themselves the hard question of "is this necessary and
meaningful to me and my future wife/husband"? Here's what one of my
nephew said about his cousin's wedding "we wasted the whole day,
waiting for the mej koob to finish singing and no one even listened to
them". Another nephew said " the Hmong wedding is all about the mej
koob and the parents & clans, not the 2 people getting married".

Peace,
HK

[Hmong-Lao]

PY Hnubkaj,
Koj ob tug nephews no tseem tsis tau paub tab dabtsi kiag li xwb.
Nkawv tsuas yog paub qhov uas xav kom lub hnub poob tsuag tsuag xwb.
Hmoob sib yuav yeej tsis yog ob tug tub & ntxhais sib yuav xwb, nws
hamtsis yog tag cuab kwv tij thiab cuab neej tsa sib tis ua neej ua
tsav los mas. Hos ob tog mej koob mas tsuas yog cov tub coj lus xwb.
Tej yam zoo li no tsis yog take ib pliag los ib ntsis xwb, tej no yeej
noj sij hawm heev.

Cov mej koob los lawv yeej tsis xav hais zaj hlo li, tabsis yog niam
thiab txiv xav xav kom tus ntxhais & tus vauv tau ib rooj zoo tshoob.
Xav kom nkawv rooj tshoob muaj qab muaj hau, muaj yim txheej yim xws,
niam thiab txiv thiaj thov tej mej koob yam muaj txiag muaj ntsig; cov
mej koob thiaj li mam hais cov zaj ntawd rau rooj tshoob. Yog tej tub
tej ntxhais yog poj laib yawg laib xwb mas tsis txhob vam tsam niam
thiab txiv yuav quav ntsej, ham tsis ua tsuag tsuag kom ib tag ob tag
li qhov uas phoojywg Hmoobleejtub pom xwb las es!

HL

[brushoff]

You guys are making babies not the wedding........ouch.

[Hmoobleejtub]

"we wasted the whole day, waiting for the mej koob to finish singing
and no one even listened to
> them".

How interesting for me to to heard that some mej koob are still
singing. I hope that they will continue to sing and wish that I could
be at a real wedding that this happen.