OFF THE RAILS

[brighton rebel]

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Romulus
Saturday 12th December 2009. We drew 2-2 in front of 229 and are now
second.

The middle-aged Southampton supporter said it all, ‘This is the first
and last time you persuade me to come by train, next time I’m
driving.’ I’d just met up at Clapham Common with Old Windsor Rebel,
Merton Rebel and ‘who we playing this week, I seem to have gone to
their old ground’ (now a Tesco’s) – let’s call him Clueless Rebel.
The platform was already packed with Southampton fans going to
Northampton in the FA Cup. But just as we were about to board, we were
told there was a signal failure and the train was cancelled. We
decided to get the tube to Euston, but it being the weekend half the
tube lines were closed and the Victoria line was so busy we had to
queue just to get near the platform. When we got to Euston, train
after train was cancelled. Oh this was fun, and bloody expensive fun
at that. Eventually we got to Leighton but instead of an amble through
their town and a sample of their pubs, we jumped in a cab to their
clubhouse.
With the news dominated by the climate change talks in Copenhagen, you
sometimes wonder why we can’t get the simple things sorted that would
make a big difference.
Like a decent train service. Because, there’s no other way of putting
it, but ours is crap.
Before every game, I walk from my estate on the outskirts of Brighton
to my nearest ruralesque station with no queues and a friendly guard,
who informs me that today the Lewes to Victoria line is shut. Great.
Lewes is one of those towns that is in a delightful time warp. I
wouldn’t want to live there, but I’m glad it exists. The other week I
tried to buy a sandwich at the stations café but only had loose change
for a coffee, and a credit card they wouldn’t accept. The man singing
opera behind the counter told us to pay the next time I was at the
station! This is the family run v the corporate. No Tesco employee is
ever going to offer that, for fear of decapitation followed by the
sack.
As for the trains, despite getting a public subsidy the companies
prime motive is profit for their shareholders. It’s a bloody disaster;
from expensive fares, to confusing tickets, to packed trains while
first class carriages go empty, and the underground is no better. God
knows, what it will be like for the Olympics.
It’s not bloody rocket science, but if you are only going to get
people out of their cars you have to be able to offer a decent, cheap,
reliable public transport system. Instead it’s cheaper to fly to
Newcastle than get the train. Here in Brighton the buses are brilliant
if a little over priced. A lot of stops have an electronic board
telling you how long you have to wait or you can text a number to find
out. Compare that to Slough. And as for Slough train station, the
whole place could do with sprucing up and employ a few more ticket
sellers. Instead there are hundreds of bouncer like creatures ready to
pounce on anyone daring to chance a free ride. Still, plans for a new
station in Chalvey are a step in the right direction.
The thing is when it works, I like getting the train. An away trip
with a load of Slough supporters is a good laugh. I can read my book,
stare out of the window, and I like bumping into different football
supporters. We even spotted two MK Don’s fans. I was ready to give
them a Franchise rant but they looked like they were on day release.
Mind you, any more train journeys like that, and they will be making
room for one more in their special home.