Voice On Al Jazeera Tape Believed To Be Rich Little
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Evidence That Comedian/Impressionist May Be Alive
A voice on an Al Jazeera network audiotape purported to be that of
Osama bin Laden may actually belong to comedian/impressionist Rich
Little, CIA analysts believe.
The CIA experts listened to the audiotape over and over before
determining that the voice was Mr. Little rather than bin Laden or the
impressionist Frank Gorshin, famous for his portrayal of The Riddler on
the classic "Batman" TV series.
"This tape offers fairly conclusive proof that Rich Little is alive," a
CIA official said today.
If the voice on the audiotape does in fact belong to Rich Little, the
tape represents an ominous shift in strategy for the longtime Vegas
entertainer, the CIA official cautioned.
"In the past, Rich Little's bread-and-butter imitations have been
Richard Nixon and Johnny Carson," he said. "If he's starting to
imitate Osama bin Laden, this could mean that he's finally decided to
update his act."
The CIA official would not comment on speculation that Rich Little
might be planning to add George W. Bush and Regis Philbin to his
portfolio of impressions, saying only, "We will be watching this
situation very closely."
In other news, the CIA threw cold water on press reports that bin Laden
appears briefly at the end of the latest raunchy "Girls Gone Wild"
videotape.
The CIA official said that the person on the tape was not bin Laden,
but rather a Florida State sorority sister who bears a striking
resemblance to bin Laden.
At the Augusta National Golf Club, chairman Hootie Johnson said today
the all-male club would stick to its policy of excluding women from
membership, "even if they look like Osama bin Laden."