Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul
searching and conversations with the Savior that this will be my last
post. Realizing that I have already converted those many Usenet
readers who are easily swayed by hard-hitting essays, I have decided to
save the rest of you in other ways. Starting next Thursday, I will be
tracking each of you down individually and watching you, adding to each
of your psychological profiles. When I feel the time is right, I will
confront you and save you one by one.
But that may take time. And so, for my final post, I have
decided to make history and tear down a wicked institution. I am
talking about Halloween. I will tell you the facts so that we can
fight this sickness together. I urge everyone to unite with me in
ending this blashpemous celebration.
Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their
children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with
monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they
allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this holiday.
All one really needs to do is examine the word:
Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
Suffix "een" = "full of"
Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
The annual celebration of "Halloween" actually began with the
English Druids in the late 15th century. Upon sundown on October 31st,
the Druids would roam the english countryside, rounding up as many
Christian women and children as they could find and then dragging them
back to their bat caves. They would then hold those Christian women
and children hostage for the next 5 hours, performing bizarre sexual
rituals on them. And when that was over with, as the sun rose up over
the English horizon, the Druids would finish by eating their hostages
one-by-one, justifying it as a form of "communion" and chanting,
"tireck or tireates!" (That's Latin for "dine on Christian blood.")
Now that you know the grizzly origins of this "all-in-good-fun"
holiday, the question becomes, "What can we, as good Christians, do
about it?" Well, Christians, I'm sure you don't let your children hang
around with the Druid kids at school, so why let them frolic with them
at night?
Family First, in conjunction with James Chick Publications and the Pat
Buchanon Anti-Defamation League, has come up with some intriguing
alternative suggestions for good Christians to do this Halloween.
1. First, do not let your children out of your sight on Halloween
night. According to the October 1995 issue of Family First, satanic
kidnappings on Halloween night are up 64% from 1985, and many satanic
"missionaries" have been spotted on the streets, converting our youth
to their sick blasphemy.
2. Instead, spend Halloween at home. Make the sinful night into a
family night. Family First has suggested that Christians actually
celebrate a counter-holiday on this date, to rebel against the satanic
establishment in the the U.S. They suggest something that "edifies the
body" and "welcomes Jesus into the home." While a name has not yet
been definitively chosen, rumor has it that the Family First Decency
Council is wavering between "Christmas" (pronounced "krist-muss") and
"Easter" (pronounced "east-er").
But shhhh!...Don't tell them you heard it from me! :)
3. Don't do anything to make this holiday at all enjoyable for the
other neighborhood children. Doing so would only help to perpetuate it
for one more year. This Halloween, when Satan's followers show up at
your door begging for candy (this was the ploy the original Druids used
to gain access to Christian homes), give them a shot in the face with a
Windex squirt gun. Those kids will sure think twice before knocking on
another door!
4. No matter what, don't give out candy; give Bibles instead. Or
better yet, give the kids a few subscription cards for the Family First
newsletter. Tell them to fill them out and mail them in on their own,
"as a surprise to mom and dad." You may also wish to hand out James
Chick comics; kids can't resist them! Another good idea from Family
First: while your atheist neighbors are handing out condoms and
promoting their atheist myth of "safe sex," you could keep the children
who come to your door safely locked inside your home until the night is
over, to keep them safe.
5. Know this: The media can work on your side. All we as Christians
need to do is create an issue. Family First suggests placing several
small pins in tootsie rolls and then franticly phoning the local news
station. If enough of us do that, it would be enough to start a
"crisis," and Halloween would die out from fear. Another notable
suggestion from Family First is to simply give those "tootsie roll
surprises" to the atheist children who show up at your door. In that
way, you'd be killing two birds with one stone.
Christians, just follow these five easy suggestions, or
mix-and-match and add some of your own, and Halloween will no longer be
a threat to our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ.
One more thing I want to address before I depart is the
promogulation of atheism on Usenet. It seems like there are perhaps
hundreds of people all over the world who have not yet been led to
Jesus. I know that atheism is usually just the result of bad breeding
or sexual abuse as a child, but I am beginning to think there may be a
few exceptions to that rule. I recently read a report in Family First
linking atheism to Scholiosis and SIDS. It said that people
WITH Scholiosis are about 4 times more likely than those without to
become atheists as a result of damage to their spinal cord and/or brain
stem. It also said that atheist babies are almost 40 times more likely
to die from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) than Christian babies
are. I feel that these people are probably beyond saving and so I will
concentrate my efforts on those of you who are either poorly-bred or
suffered abuse as a children. I consider it my public service to you.
Also, I read an article on one of the newsgroups the other day,
and I couldn't believe what I saw. How can someone think things like
that and then write about them? Atheists, I ask you, isn't that a
blatant contradiction of yourselves? Again, think about it.
Goodbye and God Bless,
Anne Ferguson
**All facts in this post were courtesy of the Family First newsletter
***Additional information on Halloween and its evils can be obtained at
http://www.chick.com
Glad to see you depart, Anne. It's always refreshing to be rid of
misguided propagandists.
Bill
: Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul
: searching and conversations with the Savior that this will be my last
: post. Realizing that I have already converted those many Usenet
: readers who are easily swayed by hard-hitting essays, I have decided to
: save the rest of you in other ways.
Give me the name of ONE, or have them email me.
: Starting next Thursday, I will be
: tracking each of you down individually and watching you, adding to each
: of your psychological profiles. When I feel the time is right, I will
: confront you and save you one by one.
My industrial strength troll-o-meter is getting stressed by this.
: But that may take time. And so, for my final post, I have
: decided to make history and tear down a wicked institution. I am
: talking about Halloween. I will tell you the facts so that we can
: fight this sickness together. I urge everyone to unite with me in
: ending this blashpemous celebration.
: Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their
: children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with
: monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they
: allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this holiday.
: All one really needs to do is examine the word:
: Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
: Suffix "een" = "full of"
: Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
Actually, it's a contraction of Hallows Evening. November 1 is All
Saints Day or All Hallows Day. The evening before is All Hallows Evening
or All Hallows Eve. This actually makes me think she might really be
from Jack Chick Pubs, since the scholarship is so damn bad.
: The annual celebration of "Halloween" actually began with the
: English Druids in the late 15th century. Upon sundown on October 31st,
: the Druids would roam the english countryside, rounding up as many
: Christian women and children as they could find and then dragging them
: back to their bat caves. They would then hold those Christian women
: and children hostage for the next 5 hours, performing bizarre sexual
: rituals on them. And when that was over with, as the sun rose up over
: the English horizon, the Druids would finish by eating their hostages
: one-by-one, justifying it as a form of "communion" and chanting,
: "tireck or tireates!" (That's Latin for "dine on Christian blood.")
The troll-o-meter just pegged.
[further trolling deleted]
--
H. Brent Howatt, Dir. of Ins. Svcs. | The first days are the hardest days,
Humboldt County Office of Education | Don't you worry any more.
Eureka, California | When life looks like Easy Street,
Behind the Redwood Curtain | There is danger at your door.
============================================================================
hho...@cello.gina.calstate.edu PGP public key by FINGER or e-mail
bho...@humboldt.k12.ca.us http://www.humboldt.k12.ca.us
> Realizing that I have already converted those many Usenet
> readers
> When I feel the time is right, I will
> confront you and save you one by one.
Gee. And I thought it was God who did the saving. Now I know better.
Lighthope
--
--> Visit the Doctor Who Audio Dramas home page. There, you will
find an up-to-date listing of the available stories, a writer's
guide, and links to other web pages, as well as a few interesting
things to download. http://home.earthlink.net/~lighthope
Last updated Friday, September 27, 1996
> Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul
> searching and conversations with the Savior that this will be my last
> post. Realizing that I have already converted those many Usenet
> readers who are easily swayed by hard-hitting essays, I have decided to
> save the rest of you in other ways. Starting next Thursday, I will be
> tracking each of you down individually and watching you, adding to each
> of your psychological profiles. When I feel the time is right, I will
> confront you and save you one by one.
You, Madam, are a troll. If you are for real here is my e-mail address:
Susan-Br...@uoknor.edu Consider me a challenge.
> Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their
> children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with
> monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they
> allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this holiday.
> All one really needs to do is examine the word:
> Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
> Suffix "een" = "full of"
> Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
I was almost believing down through this part becuse some fundies are
indeed this ignorant and stupid.
> 5. Know this: The media can work on your side. All we as Christians
> need to do is create an issue. Family First suggests placing several
> small pins in tootsie rolls and then franticly phoning the local news
> station. If enough of us do that, it would be enough to start a
> "crisis," and Halloween would die out from fear. Another notable
> suggestion from Family First is to simply give those "tootsie roll
> surprises" to the atheist children who show up at your door. In that
> way, you'd be killing two birds with one stone.
However, this is where my troll-meter went off the scale. The fundies have
hating down to an artform and love to use fear as a weapon, but *this*
they would never do. They support and advocate a lot of vile things but
nothing like this.
What this means is that *you* are more stupid and vile than they are. And
here, I always thought that wasn't possible!
Susan
--
Doubt cannot injure or even perturb the truth.
The truth is a citadel about which the breezes of doubt play.
sticking pins in candy
nice troll
Anne` (em...@address.omitted.for.privacy) wrote:
: Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul
Hello closet atheist.
|I have decided through much soul
| searching and conversations with the Savior that this will be my last
| post.
Thanks!!
| Starting next Thursday, I will be
| tracking each of you down individually and watching you,
Are you aware of anti-stalking laws?
|adding to each
| of your psychological profiles.
Once again, do you have a degree in Psychology?
[snip]
William, as informative as your post on Halloween was, I must point out
that you have been taken in by an obvious troll. :)
C.
[massive snippage in a desparate attempt to save sanity and civilization]
DAMN YOU, woman, my Trollometer just imploded into a twisted, burning
mass of circuitry!
I'm sending you the bill.
--
Dennis Francis Heffernan IRC: FuzyLogic heff...@pegasus.montclair.edu
Montclair State University #include <disclaim.h> Computer Science/Philosophy
"I guess my work around here has all been done."
-- The Devil, in "The Garden of Allah", Don Henley
Nothing of any value!
All, if you want to see some really scary stuff ; ) go do a Alta-Vista
search on the "Family First" newletter. UFB!!! These guys put the CC
to shame!
DeeAnne
DeeAnne Doseman-Flaws
deea...@deltanet.com deea...@aol.com
<roll around the floor laughing>
This is a classic post. Maybe some of the ignorant who have been posting
lengthy replies will now _finally_ recognise you as a troll?! You'll be
happy to know I have saved it as funny.txt and it will be used in the
next newsletter at my church [I hope all the oldies don't leave the
church ;-)]
Anyway, I do hope you reappear soon - I expect you will, just using
another pseudonym (pseudo: latin for devil possessed)
(nym: latin for heathen)
(meaning: devil possessed heathen)
-Brad.
BTW What happened to the accent, Anne (Ah-Nay)?
<- snip ->
>promogulation of atheism on Usenet. It seems like there are perhaps
>hundreds of people all over the world who have not yet been led to
>Jesus. I know that atheism is usually just the result of bad breeding
>or sexual abuse as a child, but I am beginning to think there may be a
>few exceptions to that rule. I recently read a report in Family First
>linking atheism to Scholiosis and SIDS. It said that people
>WITH Scholiosis are about 4 times more likely than those without to
>become atheists as a result of damage to their spinal cord and/or brain
>stem. It also said that atheist babies are almost 40 times more likely
>to die from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) than Christian babies
>are. I feel that these people are probably beyond saving and so I will
>concentrate my efforts on those of you who are either poorly-bred or
>suffered abuse as a children. I consider it my public service to you.
Try converting me back to christianity (that's right, *back to*), but
you won't succeed. Organised religion = organised crime. Why does the
catholic church have insurance against their priests sexually molesting
children? Why do many evangelical churches merely ask for your money
rather than your faith?
Not only are you a troll, but you're sick. Go away.
--
Rich Hanson
Software Engineer
GEC Marconi Avionics Limited, Rochester, Kent, ENGLAND
+44 (0)1634 844400 x4937
Speaking for myself, of course!
Oh. Well, it was fun anyway. Is that what I'net has become - a "troll
road"? Sorry, couldn't resist.
Bill
: Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul
: searching and conversations with the Savior that this will be my last
: post.
NONONONO! C'mon, Anne -- be a sport! We'll never see a troll the likes
of you again!
: Starting next Thursday, I will be tracking each of you down individually
: and watching you, adding to each of your psychological profiles. When I
: feel the time is right, I will confront you and save you one by one.
You got that, everybody? -- If and when this happens, don't forget to
share your "Encounters with Anne" with the rest of alt.atheism!
[One last masterful troll]
What a beautiful parting gift to all your faithful fans. Thank you, Anne.
--
******************************
Czar
EAC Minister-without-portfolio
******************************
Me fail English?
That's unpossible!
- Ralph Wiggum
******************************
: Upon sundown on October 31st, the Druids would roam the english
: countryside, rounding up as many Christian women and children as they
: could find and then dragging them back to their bat caves.
"Quickly, pagans! -- To the Bat-cave!"
: They would then hold those Christian women hostage for the next 5 hours,
: performing bizarre sexual rituals on them.
They should *be* so lucky!
I was trolled, bigtime. And I fell for it.
Anne`, you actually had me going. Your first posting ("I wish atheists
could understand...") was a gem: you'd managed to capture the fundie
mindset perfectly.
I was even able to believe, for a while, that someone could be dumb
enough to think that Earth is the only planet with a gravitational
field. (But then, I have an unfair advantage: experience. One of my
neighbors heard a TV preacher say that the Devil lives on the Moon, and
she knew he was wrong "because the Moon is cold, but everybody knows the
Devil lives in a hot place." True story.)
You could have kept us going for quite a while, you know. If the
pseudoscience didn't catch us, the promises to email or otherwise
personally "confront" each and every one of us would have.
But here's what tripped you up:
Anne` (em...@address.omitted.for.privacy) wrote:
<snipp>
: But that may take time. And so, for my final post, I have
: decided to make history and tear down a wicked institution. I am
: talking about Halloween. I will tell you the facts so that we can
: fight this sickness together. I urge everyone to unite with me in
: ending this blashpemous celebration.
There you go. I should mention that I'm not an atheist, quite, but a
Pagan, a practicing Witch. I've heard *everything* fundies have to say
about Halloween. And you blew it. You'd been doing pretty well, right
up until these next paragraphs:
: Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their
: children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with
: monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they
: allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this holiday.
: All one really needs to do is examine the word:
: Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
: Suffix "een" = "full of"
: Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
Well, to begin with, even the stupidest, most brainwashed fundie knows
that the word "Halloween" is derived from "All Hallows' Eve." But it was
in the next paragraph that you started to go *wildly* astray even from
the official fundamentalist party line:
: The annual celebration of "Halloween" actually began with the
: English Druids in the late 15th century. Upon sundown on October 31st,
: the Druids would roam the english countryside, rounding up as many
: Christian women and children as they could find and then dragging them
: back to their bat caves. They would then hold those Christian women
: and children hostage for the next 5 hours, performing bizarre sexual
: rituals on them. And when that was over with, as the sun rose up over
: the English horizon, the Druids would finish by eating their hostages
: one-by-one, justifying it as a form of "communion" and chanting,
: "tireck or tireates!" (That's Latin for "dine on Christian blood.")
Anne`, Anne`, Anne`. This is hilarious. You didn't even try to get your
*lies* right. This is, in fact, a wonderful parody of some
anti-Halloween tracts I've seen; but if you'd wanted to convince anyone,
instead of inventing pseudo-Latin, you would have made sure to trace
Halloween's origins back to pre-Christian times; you would have latched
right onto "All Hallows' Eve" and grabbed the chance for a little
Catholic-bashing; you would have brought in the myth about "demons"
going from door to door demanding propitiation; and you would *surely*
have mentioned the (nonexistent) "Samhain, Druid God of the Dead."
: Now that you know the grizzly origins of this "all-in-good-fun"
: holiday, the question becomes, "What can we, as good Christians, do
: about it?" Well, Christians, I'm sure you don't let your children hang
: around with the Druid kids at school, so why let them frolic with them
: at night?
Um, in the 20th century it would be Wiccan kids, not Druid kids.
: Family First, in conjunction with James Chick Publications and the Pat
: Buchanon Anti-Defamation League, has come up with some intriguing
: alternative suggestions for good Christians to do this Halloween.
Very good ones, too. Problem is:
: 3. Don't do anything to make this holiday at all enjoyable for the
: other neighborhood children. Doing so would only help to perpetuate it
: for one more year. This Halloween, when Satan's followers show up at
: your door begging for candy (this was the ploy the original Druids used
: to gain access to Christian homes), give them a shot in the face with a
: Windex squirt gun. Those kids will sure think twice before knocking on
: another door!
Some simple-minded Christian (probably named Zoner or McCoy, or possibly
Lindnauer) might actually *try* this.
All in all, though, Anne`, it was a *lovely* troll, and I commend you on it.
Think globally, act locally.
Susan
--
=========== Susan C. Mitchell =========== sus...@xroads.com ===========
"Gadfly is what they call you when you are no longer | Seditious libel
dangerous. I much prefer troublemaker, malcontent, | for fun and
desperado." -- Harlan Ellison | profit
> > to gain access to Christian homes), give them a shot in the face with a
> > Windex squirt gun. Those kids will sure think twice before knocking on
> > another door!
>
You know I've never actually taken time to read this rubbish... And might I
say that it gets crazier and crazier than I've ever seen. This Magazine
family first that you have subscribed to is INSANE!!! I think you should
seriously consider canceling it.
> > better yet, give the kids a few subscription cards for the Family First
> > newsletter.
That's actually a scary thought.....
> > Tell them to fill them out and mail them in on their own,
> > "as a surprise to mom and dad."
>
"Mommy, Daddy... Im subscribing to a magazine that promotes brainwashing...
SURPRISE!!!" Mom and Dad would LOVE that.....
.
>
> > 5. Know this: The media can work on your side. All we as Christians
> > need to do is create an issue. Family First suggests placing several
> > small pins in tootsie rolls and then franticly phoning the local news
> > station. If enough of us do that, it would be enough to start a
> > "crisis," and Halloween would die out from fear.
>
THIS IS INSANE! What are you THINKING? Put pins in the candy????? Come
on and LOOK at the things you are suggesting... Doesn't this strike you
as... well.. harmful? Lets potentialy hurt some kids so we can scare
people. Well I suppose it's better to read THEN respond, instead of just
responding. Anne... what faith did you say you belonged to again???? I
thought you said Christian.. my mistake. Harming people, scaring people,
squirting eyes with glass cleaner? are you for real? This is totaly
ludicrous. Heres some hints at getting a "hard hitting post". Use only
FACTS in your posts. Fantasy does not work when your trying to convince
others of ANYTHING. At first I thought you were seriously trying to bring
people to Christ. I don't see that anymore. How can you blatantly refuse
simple Christian ideas, like Love, with your "Squirt them in the eyes with
glass cleaner". If you read the definitions below you will see why people
call your posts unfactual. hope this helps out, and possibly in the
future, I hope you come to realize Christ as He is, and not as you see Him.
Before I give you the definitions read this interesting verse given by
John.
1 John 4:7-8 "beloved, let us love one another, for God is of Love, and
everyone who loveth is born of God, and knoweth God, HE WHO DOES NOT love,
does NOT know God for God is love"
Fact - the quality of being actual, something that has actual existence
Fantasy - The free play of creative imagination, a creation of the
imaginative faculty whether expressed or merly conceived, a fanciful design
or invention.
> Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul
>searching and conversations with the Savior that this will be my last
>post.
Oh, no! Grief! Grief!
> Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their
>children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with
>monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they
>allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this holiday.
>All one really needs to do is examine the word:
> Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
> Suffix "een" = "full of"
> Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
This "Family First" actually claims this? My advice would be to go to
your local college and learn something about language.
To quote the Lord's Prayer: "Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed
be thy name." Does the meaning you ascribe to "hallow" make sense in
this context?
I think we can take this opportunity to take this post (and any others
from the posting individual, regardless of his/her real identity) as a
troll. Otherwise, one must assume that "Anne" is posessed of
*monumental* ignorance. *Nobody* is this blind.
I am,
Iron Czar
Those 15th century Christians must not have been too bright if they
couldn't figure out what was going to happen every Halloween. Maybe they
were Fundamentalists? You would think that the brighter ones would
eventually get a clue and stay indoors on Halloween, so that only the
dumber ones would be caught outside. But that doesn't explain why there
are so many Fundies now. Oh, right, I forgot, they don't evolve. Damn,
where are the Druids when you need them?
- Karl
--
The avalanche has already begun. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
- Kosh Naranek
>>|On 7 Oct 1996 03:01:52 GMT, em...@address.omitted.for.privacy (Anne`)
>>|wrote:
>>|Nothing of any value!
>>|All, if you want to see some really scary stuff ; ) go do a Alta-Vista
>>|search on the "Family First" newletter. UFB!!! These guys put the CC
>>|to shame!
>>|DeeAnne
>>|
>>| DeeAnne Doseman-Flaws
>>| deea...@deltanet.com deea...@aol.com
Well, I did the AltaVista search and for all my effort got:
"No documents match the query.
The term does not appear in the index.
You might want to check the spelling."
Which leads me to believe that it does not exist (at least on the 'net).
Is that your point?
Erikc
********** U.S.A. READERS !! --- GET OUT AND VOTE !! **********
* THE GROWING POLITICAL STRENGTH OF THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT POSES *
* A THREAT TO EVERY PRINCIPLE THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED UPON. *
* FIND OUT WHO YOUR FUNDIE CANDIDATES ARE (FED, STATE, LOCAL) *
* AND VOTE FOR ANYBODY ELSE. G.E.T...O.U.T...A.N.D...V.O.T.E *
* Visit http://www.pfaw.org/ "People for the American Way" *
***************************************************************
http://www.christiangallery.com/ (home page)
http://www.christiangallery.com/sick1.html
/* Finest Christian porn on the 'Net */
[snip]
>>|> Family First, in conjunction with James Chick Publications and the Pat
>>|> Buchanon Anti-Defamation League, has come up with some intriguing
>>|> alternative suggestions for good Christians to do this Halloween.
>>|*jack* chick.
As in "Anne` don't know 'jack chick' about anything?" ROFL!
[snip]
>>|> 2. Instead, spend Halloween at home.
>>|i already do, thanks to satanic missionaries anonymous. usually, i
>>|draw pentagrams on the floor and summon demons though.
I prefer to write mine in C. They're more tractable that way.
[snip]
>: performing bizarre sexual rituals on them.
>
>They should *be* so lucky!
>
>--
>******************************
>Czar
>EAC Minister-without-portfolio
>******************************
>Me fail English?
>That's unpossible!
>- Ralph Wiggum
>******************************
Damn! You never hear about a batcave where Druids hold men prisoner to
perform bizarre sexual rituals on them. Guess I'll have to start one of my
own. And, I'm not even a Druid. Would any of my fellow
atheists like to think up some 'volunteers'? ;)
Mickey
>
>Damn! You never hear about a batcave where Druids hold men prisoner to
>perform bizarre sexual rituals on them. Guess I'll have to start one
of my
>own. And, I'm not even a Druid. Would any of my fellow
>atheists like to think up some 'volunteers'? ;)
Sorry, Mickey! I'm too busy doing it to the wives and daughters of all
these unsuspecting fundies up this-a-way. They keep coming back for
more, you see. Gawrsh, I'm gettin' wore out fast.....
(I'm cutting this down to just a 'best of' series of the quotes that finally
made me realize this was a troll. I confess I was taken in by the first one;
it was just *barely* possible. This is much too much.)
Re Halloween:
>All one really needs to do is examine the word:
> Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
> Suffix "een" = "full of"
> Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
>
> The annual celebration of "Halloween" actually began with the
>English Druids in the late 15th century. Upon sundown on October 31st,
>the Druids would roam the english countryside, rounding up as many
>Christian women and children as they could find and then dragging them
>back to their bat caves. They would then hold those Christian women
>and children hostage for the next 5 hours, performing bizarre sexual
>rituals on them. And when that was over with, as the sun rose up over
>the English horizon, the Druids would finish by eating their hostages
>one-by-one, justifying it as a form of "communion" and chanting,
>"tireck or tireates!" (That's Latin for "dine on Christian blood.")
>
> Now that you know the grizzly origins of this "all-in-good-fun"
>holiday, the question becomes, "What can we, as good Christians, do
>about it?" Well, Christians, I'm sure you don't let your children hang
>around with the Druid kids at school, so why let them frolic with them
>at night?
>2. Instead, spend Halloween at home. Make the sinful night into a
>family night. Family First has suggested that Christians actually
>celebrate a counter-holiday on this date, to rebel against the satanic
>establishment in the the U.S. They suggest something that "edifies the
>body" and "welcomes Jesus into the home." While a name has not yet
>been definitively chosen, rumor has it that the Family First Decency
>Council is wavering between "Christmas" (pronounced "krist-muss") and
>"Easter" (pronounced "east-er").
>3. Don't do anything to make this holiday at all enjoyable for the
>other neighborhood children. Doing so would only help to perpetuate it
>for one more year. This Halloween, when Satan's followers show up at
>your door begging for candy (this was the ploy the original Druids used
>to gain access to Christian homes), give them a shot in the face with a
>Windex squirt gun. Those kids will sure think twice before knocking on
>another door!
>
>4. No matter what, don't give out candy; give Bibles instead. Or
>better yet, give the kids a few subscription cards for the Family First
>newsletter. Tell them to fill them out and mail them in on their own,
>"as a surprise to mom and dad." You may also wish to hand out James
>Chick comics; kids can't resist them! Another good idea from Family
>First: while your atheist neighbors are handing out condoms and
>promoting their atheist myth of "safe sex," you could keep the children
>who come to your door safely locked inside your home until the night is
>over, to keep them safe.
>
>5. Know this: The media can work on your side. All we as Christians
>need to do is create an issue. Family First suggests placing several
>small pins in tootsie rolls and then franticly phoning the local news
>station. If enough of us do that, it would be enough to start a
>"crisis," and Halloween would die out from fear. Another notable
>suggestion from Family First is to simply give those "tootsie roll
>surprises" to the atheist children who show up at your door. In that
>way, you'd be killing two birds with one stone.
This isn't working; I can't find anything that is NOT ridiculously
over-the-top to snip out of my recap.
: Damn! You never hear about a batcave where Druids hold men prisoner to
: perform bizarre sexual rituals on them. Guess I'll have to start one of my
: own. And, I'm not even a Druid. Would any of my fellow
: atheists like to think up some 'volunteers'? ;)
Hurt me! Beat me! Make me write bad cheques!
[stuff snipped]
: : talking about Halloween. I will tell you the facts so that we can
: : fight this sickness together. I urge everyone to unite with me in
: : ending this blashpemous celebration.
: : Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their
: : children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with
: : monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they
: : allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this holiday.
: : All one really needs to do is examine the word:
: : Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
: : Suffix "een" = "full of"
: : Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
: Actually, it's a contraction of Hallows Evening. November 1 is All
: Saints Day or All Hallows Day. The evening before is All Hallows Evening
: or All Hallows Eve. This actually makes me think she might really be
: from Jack Chick Pubs, since the scholarship is so damn bad.
No, no, no! It's actually:
"Hallow" = hollow
"ween" = nickname for the male organ -- the scientific word for this
is "weenus".
Therefore, Halloween is a celebration of hollow weenies (the ancient
name for vibrators).
The candy part is merely a nice plus.
> > > 5. Know this: The media can work on your side. All we as Christians
> > > need to do is create an issue. Family First suggests placing several
> > > small pins in tootsie rolls and then franticly phoning the local news
> > > station. If enough of us do that, it would be enough to start a
> > > "crisis," and Halloween would die out from fear.
> >
> THIS IS INSANE! What are you THINKING? Put pins in the candy????? Come
> on and LOOK at the things you are suggesting... Doesn't this strike you
> as... well.. harmful? Lets potentialy hurt some kids so we can scare
> people. Well I suppose it's better to read THEN respond, instead of just
> responding. Anne... what faith did you say you belonged to again???? I
> thought you said Christian.. my mistake. Harming people, scaring people,
> squirting eyes with glass cleaner? are you for real? This is totaly
> ludicrous. Heres some hints at getting a "hard hitting post". Use only
> FACTS in your posts. Fantasy does not work when your trying to convince
> others of ANYTHING. At first I thought you were seriously trying to bring
> people to Christ. I don't see that anymore. How can you blatantly refuse
> simple Christian ideas, like Love, with your "Squirt them in the eyes with
> glass cleaner". If you read the definitions below you will see why people
> call your posts unfactual. hope this helps out, and possibly in the
> future, I hope you come to realize Christ as He is, and not as you see Him.
> Before I give you the definitions read this interesting verse given by
You've been had. She's a troll. I suppose she thinks she's being funny,
but I think she's a sick puppy.
erikc wrote:
>
> deea...@deltanet.com (DeeAnne Doseman-Flaws)
> in message <3259b27f...@news.deltanet.com>
> dated Tue, 08 Oct 1996 01:48:48 GMT wrote:
<< snip >>
> >>|All, if you want to see some really scary stuff ; ) go do a Alta-Vista
> >>|search on the "Family First" newletter. UFB!!! These guys put the CC
> >>|to shame!
<< snip >>
> Well, I did the AltaVista search and for all my effort got:
>
> "No documents match the query.
>
> The term does not appear in the index.
Hmmmm ... my search on Family First generated 500000 hits, one of which
appears to be what DeeAnne is referring to:
--------------------
Family First
PriorityOne
This page is dedicated to making your family all it can be! We are definitely not experts, but we
have a genuine desire to be a part of the fix for families. Our nation is sinking fast, and we
believe that the biggest part of the problem is the decline and disregard for the family. ie. father,
mother and children. We believe that families can never be GREAT without Jesus Christ as their
foundation!
--------------------
It goes downhill from there (but isn't as bad as I thought it would be -- there are
far worse on the web!). It takes **forever** to load, though, and until it does,
your stuck with lemon-yellow type on a cyan background (ouch!).
The URL is: http://users.arn.net/~acbsm/
Have fun! :-)
Cheers! Lana
You don't expect us to give that information out, do you?
: Guess I'll have to start one of my
: own. And, I'm not even a Druid. Would any of my fellow
: atheists like to think up some 'volunteers'? ;)
Hmmmm......
----- Paul J. Gans [ga...@scholar.chem.nyu.edu]
>deea...@deltanet.com (DeeAnne Doseman-Flaws)
>in message <3259b27f...@news.deltanet.com>
>dated Tue, 08 Oct 1996 01:48:48 GMT wrote:
>
>>>|On 7 Oct 1996 03:01:52 GMT, em...@address.omitted.for.privacy (Anne`)
>>>|wrote:
>
>>>|Nothing of any value!
>
>>>|All, if you want to see some really scary stuff ; ) go do a Alta-Vista
>>>|search on the "Family First" newletter. UFB!!! These guys put the CC
>>>|to shame!
>
>>>|DeeAnne
>
>>>|
>>>| DeeAnne Doseman-Flaws
>>>| deea...@deltanet.com deea...@aol.com
>
>
>Well, I did the AltaVista search and for all my effort got:
>
>"No documents match the query.
>
>The term does not appear in the index.
>
>You might want to check the spelling."
>
>Which leads me to believe that it does not exist (at least on the 'net).
>Is that your point?
>
>
>Erikc
>
>
>********** U.S.A. READERS !! --- GET OUT AND VOTE !! **********
>* THE GROWING POLITICAL STRENGTH OF THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT POSES *
>* A THREAT TO EVERY PRINCIPLE THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED UPON. *
>* FIND OUT WHO YOUR FUNDIE CANDIDATES ARE (FED, STATE, LOCAL) *
>* AND VOTE FOR ANYBODY ELSE. G.E.T...O.U.T...A.N.D...V.O.T.E *
>* Visit http://www.pfaw.org/ "People for the American Way" *
>***************************************************************
>
>http://www.christiangallery.com/ (home page)
>http://www.christiangallery.com/sick1.html
>/* Finest Christian porn on the 'Net */
>
The URL is:
http://www.cs.albany.edu/~ault/fof/fofbegin
Fundies don't evolve because they don't believe in evolution? What a
great concept! It should be enshrined right beside gravity not working
unless you believe in it. ;)
Mickey
Please, anyone out there, don't follow her example. The last thing
we need is a voodoo Tootsie roll.
Followups. Maybe we can contain the madness....
In article <539rr0$i...@cronkite.polaristel.net>, em...@address.omitted.for.privacy (Anne`) writes:
>
> Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul
> searching and conversations with the Savior that this will be my last
> post.
Well, OK, if you say so.
> Realizing that I have already converted those many Usenet
> readers who are easily swayed by hard-hitting essays,
Erm, what color is the sky on your world?
So far, there were innumerable errors in your first post (gravity comes
to mind), making your scientific credibility next to nil. Atheists,
since we tend to believe scientific facts more than conveniently-packaged
Biblical fiction, therefore would tend to laugh (or maybe cringe) at you.
If these are hard-hitting essays, then Jack Chick tracts are scientific
edifices that explain everything from soup to nuts to cold fusion to
astronomy to nuclear physics...
> I have decided to
> save the rest of you in other ways. Starting next Thursday, I will be
> tracking each of you down individually and watching you, adding to each
> of your psychological profiles. When I feel the time is right, I will
> confront you and save you one by one.
Oh, gosh, I can't wait.
You *are* aware that spam-mail may be prosecutable now, BTW...apparently
a fedcourt decided that spam-mail isn't free speech...
>
> But that may take time. And so, for my final post, I have
> decided to make history and tear down a wicked institution. I am
> talking about Halloween. I will tell you the facts so that we can
> fight this sickness together. I urge everyone to unite with me in
> ending this blashpemous celebration.
Gee, don't you want to let us have *any* fun?
Mind you, I do agree that Hallowe'en's original purpose appears to have
gotten distorted (it is presumably an outgrowth of a harvest festival),
but really -- what possible reason would there be to tear down an
industry that generates millions of dollars annually? (Billions?)
> Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their
> children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with
> monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they
> allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this holiday.
> All one really needs to do is examine the word:
> Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
> Suffix "een" = "full of"
> Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."
Erm, excuse me. Your entomological ignorance is showing again.
Or has it occurred to you that "hallowed" is a synonym for "sacred" or
"revered"? Or that "Hallowe'en" is a contraction for "All Hallow's Eve",
which is the evening before "All Hallow's Day" (or somesuch), November
1st, which is supposed to be holy and pure (can someone clarify this)?
(Compare "Christmas Eve" or "New Year's Eve", for example.)
>
> The annual celebration of "Halloween" actually began with the
> English Druids in the late 15th century. Upon sundown on October 31st,
> the Druids would roam the english countryside, rounding up as many
> Christian women and children as they could find and then dragging them
> back to their bat caves. They would then hold those Christian women
> and children hostage for the next 5 hours, performing bizarre sexual
> rituals on them. And when that was over with, as the sun rose up over
> the English horizon, the Druids would finish by eating their hostages
> one-by-one, justifying it as a form of "communion" and chanting,
> "tireck or tireates!" (That's Latin for "dine on Christian blood.")
Druids?
DRUIDS?
That's one sick fantasy you got there. Mind you, I don't know any Druids,
but I rather doubt they would actually want to do blood orgies.
Certainly no atheist would.
>
> Now that you know the grizzly origins of this "all-in-good-fun"
"grisly". "Grizzly" refers to a species of bear.
> holiday, the question becomes, "What can we, as good Christians, do
> about it?" Well, Christians, I'm sure you don't let your children hang
> around with the Druid kids at school, so why let them frolic with them
> at night?
And just how are the Good Christian Children going to Spread The Word
if they *don't* hang around with the Evil Atheistic/Druidic Children, then?
Are you Amish, perchance?
>
> Family First, in conjunction with James Chick Publications and the Pat
> Buchanon Anti-Defamation League,
The only Anti-Defamation League I can scan is the one of B'nai B'rith,
which is for people of the Jewish Faith.
If Pat Buchanan (note correct spelling) has an Anti-Defamation League, I'm
not sure the Web knows about it (but then, I'm not sure Pat knows about
the Web -- certainly, Bob Dole doesn't. :-) )
> has come up with some intriguing
> alternative suggestions for good Christians to do this Halloween.
>
> 1. First, do not let your children out of your sight on Halloween
> night. According to the October 1995 issue of Family First, satanic
> kidnappings on Halloween night are up 64% from 1985, and many satanic
> "missionaries" have been spotted on the streets, converting our youth
> to their sick blasphemy.
I dunno about Satanic Kidnappings, but it's probably not a bad idea
to travel with your kids on that night. There *are* an awful lot of
weirdoes out there...and some of them aren't exactly kid-friendly.
>
> 2. Instead, spend Halloween at home. Make the sinful night into a
> family night. Family First has suggested that Christians actually
> celebrate a counter-holiday on this date, to rebel against the satanic
> establishment in the the U.S. They suggest something that "edifies the
> body" and "welcomes Jesus into the home." While a name has not yet
> been definitively chosen, rumor has it that the Family First Decency
> Council is wavering between "Christmas" (pronounced "krist-muss") and
> "Easter" (pronounced "east-er").
> But shhhh!...Don't tell them you heard it from me! :)
Ah, Christmas II or the Second Easter. Now that makes no sense.
Or has it occurred to you that Christmas is the celebration of Christ's
Birth (which is of course wrong) and also apparently a tree festival
of some sort (I forget the details), and Easter is the celebration of
Christ's death (not sure whether this is right or wrong) coupled with
an ancient pagan fertility ritual?
Whoops.
Perhaps you can call it "Night of the Living Souls". That's probably
general enough to satisfy everybody, good or evil. Assuming that
we even want to implement this rather dumb idea in the first place.
>
> 3. Don't do anything to make this holiday at all enjoyable for the
> other neighborhood children. Doing so would only help to perpetuate it
> for one more year. This Halloween, when Satan's followers show up at
> your door begging for candy (this was the ploy the original Druids used
> to gain access to Christian homes), give them a shot in the face with a
> Windex squirt gun. Those kids will sure think twice before knocking on
> another door!
And this is directly contrary to the notion of "turning the other cheek".
Perhaps it would be better if you were to gum up their brains with some
choice BibleQuotes(tm) instead...oh wait, that's your next suggestion.
>
> 4. No matter what, don't give out candy; give Bibles instead. Or
> better yet, give the kids a few subscription cards for the Family First
> newsletter. Tell them to fill them out and mail them in on their own,
> "as a surprise to mom and dad." You may also wish to hand out James
> Chick comics; kids can't resist them! Another good idea from Family
> First: while your atheist neighbors are handing out condoms and
> promoting their atheist myth of "safe sex," you could keep the children
> who come to your door safely locked inside your home until the night is
> over, to keep them safe.
Condoms?
For Halloween?
Bwahahahahaha....mind you, it's an idea...
Mind you, if you want to get really silly -- there was a hypothesis I
heard on the radio some years ago that suggested that witches flying
using broomsticks were because they would apply hallucinogenic
substances to a certain part of their anatomy with same broomsticks,
which just happen to be the right size. I'm not sure I believe this
totally, since there are some issues (like splinters (ouch!!)), but
it does explain a few things.
The broomsticks could also be metaphors for other things, though...
>
> 5. Know this: The media can work on your side. All we as Christians
> need to do is create an issue. Family First suggests placing several
> small pins in tootsie rolls and then franticly phoning the local news
> station. If enough of us do that, it would be enough to start a
> "crisis," and Halloween would die out from fear. Another notable
> suggestion from Family First is to simply give those "tootsie roll
> surprises" to the atheist children who show up at your door. In that
> way, you'd be killing two birds with one stone.
Oooh, the Pins-In-The-Tootsie-Roll ploy.
I'm not sure why you think this is a good idea, especially considering
the hysteria that would generate. It would probably be blown all out
of proportion, anyway.
>
> Christians, just follow these five easy suggestions, or
> mix-and-match and add some of your own, and Halloween will no longer be
> a threat to our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ.
Halloween, a threat?
Are you *that* insecure that you're worried about a few kids play-acting
their favorite evil spirits, spooks, witches, hobgoblins, Al Gore,
Madonna, and Bob Dole?
Oh please.
>
>
> One more thing I want to address before I depart is the
> promogulation of atheism on Usenet. It seems like there are perhaps
> hundreds of people all over the world who have not yet been led to
> Jesus.
Really? Only hundreds?
Have you met them all personally, then?
Bear in mind that, very roughly, there are three equally populated
religions in the world: Christianity, Buddhism, and Islam.
I will also note that before the age of 2, most children wouldn't
even know what a god *is* (and it might be older than that, but
let's just say 2). Therefore, since the average lifetime of a human
is about 70, that means that there are
5000000000 * 2 / 70 = 140000000
people who haven't heard of Jesus (yet), as a bare minimum. This is
definitely more than a few hundred!
> I know that atheism is usually just the result of bad breeding
> or sexual abuse as a child,
Really?
News to me. I thought atheism had to do with intelligence.
Certainly, on this newsgroup at least, a random sampling of atheists
would appear to have a higher general intelligence level than a random
sampling of theistic posters...
> but I am beginning to think there may be a
> few exceptions to that rule. I recently read a report in Family First
> linking atheism to Scholiosis and SIDS.
Really?
How bizarre....
> It said that people
> WITH Scholiosis are about 4 times more likely than those without to
> become atheists as a result of damage to their spinal cord and/or brain
> stem. It also said that atheist babies are almost 40 times more likely
> to die from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) than Christian babies
> are. I feel that these people are probably beyond saving and so I will
> concentrate my efforts on those of you who are either poorly-bred or
> suffered abuse as a children. I consider it my public service to you.
Sorry, we don't want any; we gave at the office.
Sheesh.
>
> Also, I read an article on one of the newsgroups the other day,
> and I couldn't believe what I saw. How can someone think things like
> that and then write about them? Atheists, I ask you, isn't that a
> blatant contradiction of yourselves? Again, think about it.
And what article was that, pray tell? We may be atheists, but we're
not bloody mind readers!
Aaaargh!
>
>
> Goodbye and God Bless,
>
> Anne Ferguson
>
> **All facts in this post were courtesy of the Family First newsletter
If you can call them that. Whatever you're on must be gooooooood stuff...
>
> ***Additional information on Halloween and its evils can be obtained at
> http://www.chick.com
>
--
eric_w...@mentorg.com, wondering *where* they come from!
The preceding is *not* to be construed in any way as an official (or unofficial)
public policy statement by Mentor Graphics, Incorporated, my employer, or
any of its employees, legal representatives, affiliates, customers, or vendors.
>
> You've been had. She's a troll. I suppose she thinks she's being
> funny,
> but I think she's a sick puppy.
>
Well if she is she needs loving and looking after.
...and shots.
Barry.
--
E-mail: Barry_...@hp.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------
...so the Crocodile said "If you say truely what I will do, then I will
release your child, if not, I shall devour it."
And the mother answered...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
My opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Hewlett-Packard Ltd.
Yeah, but do you want to be the one to have to take her for a walk
every day, rain, shine or snow? Naw, let her follow some other kid
home....
Hugues Johnson <hj...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in article
<01bbb4a2$32eb3e80$2ca3bacd@#hjohn>...
> Anne` <em...@address.omitted.for.privacy> wrote in article
> <539rr0$i...@cronkite.polaristel.net>...
> | Hello closet Christians.
> | Starting next Thursday, I will be
> | tracking each of you down individually and watching you,
> |adding to each
> | of your psychological profiles.
>
> Once again, do you have a degree in Psychology?
Since his trolls have easily managed to waste about 50 man-hours
of our collective time, perhaps Netzel deserves an *honourary* psychology
degree?
David