> Internet troll personality disorder
>>From Encyclopedia Dramatica

> DSM fanboys and fangirls are hard at work on the fifth edition of the
> Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, due to be
> published some time so far from now the year will be in Stardate form.
> The most exciting announcement of the American Psychiatric Association
> so far is the inclusion of Internet troll personality disorder to the
> already impressive number of mental disorders.

> Origins

> Trolls have existed from the early days of the Internets and Usenet.
> Before them were the oracles, wizards, scientists, illuminati members,
> prophets, and natural leaders. Regular and fluid social interaction
> has kept such people in check, holding them back by fear and thus
> preventing these positive traits from manifesting. Fortunately, the
> anonymity the Internet offers has paradoxically allowed people to show
> their true selves, with less brainwashing from social institutions.

> Thechisa theorizes that ITPD is a mutant strain of the otherkin
> fixation, and on some subconscious level its rabid afflicted believe
> themselves to be actual mythical trolls. There may be some truth to
> this, as their tendency to also be basement-dwelling nerds
> approximates the living conditions found underneath a bridge.
> [edit] Research Criteria

> The Internet Troll Personality Disorder is characterized by attention-
> seeking and disruptive behavior in anonymous, delocalized places of
> socializing. It is indicated by the following traits:

>     * A tendency to make the most useful, interesting comments.
>     * An 18 charisma score that draws the attention of users toward
> them.
>     * The ability to create ideas that flow from person to person
> nonstop until they have made everyone spend their time in the troll's
> valuable communique.
>     * Such a brilliant command of social engineering, that the troll
> can trick others into fighting amongst themselves on the internet
> endlessly. (i.e. crossposting to two opposing usenet groups, tricking
> them into starting a flame war, then sitting back and watching the
> fun)
>     * High intelligence (16 or higher)
>     * High degree of social skills IRL.
>     * Uses multiple usernames as sock puppets (the more the better)
>     * Establishes dominance in a community by using multiple
> usernames

> Treatment

> Researchers have experimented with everything from shock therapy to
> furry porn to castration to treat Internet troll personality disorder
> with no success. The psychodynamics of this personality disorder
> indicated that constant asswhooping may be the best treatment. Getting
> the research sample group out of their respective mothers' basements
> was difficult, and removing the hamburger and french fries from their
> hands and mouths was nearly impossible, but a little sunshine and
> exercise did these creatures good. After being taught the essentials
> of hygiene and manners, the trolls were ready for the treatment: women
> who really like to have sex. Within one week, the severity of the
> disorder was diminished for every patient, and within three months the
> patients were all symptom free. But once the ex-trolls looked up from
> their cubicals saw how boring they had become, they all committed hara
> kiri, the Japanese form of suicide designed to restore one's honor
> after shame.

> Current research is investigating the possibility of a relapse into
> disordered personality function if the patient does not get laid in
> the ass, furry-style. For those pitiful cases who cannot keep a
> girlfriend, researchers are considering the role prostitutes may play
> in treatment.