A budding scientist
nemo...@aol.com
Hi All,
My 12 yr old son is ADHD, dyslexic and has other learning disabilities.
He is very smart but his reading is a problem. He has reached that age
where he wants to be "normal" (whatever that is). Since the age of three
he has wanted to become a marine biologist. But I fear he is beginning to
lose heart. Have any of you out there dealt with these problems? Would
you be willing to email him and give him a little support? I would
greatly apreciate it. He is a wonderful, intelligent, creative kid. His
nickname is Mac. You can email him through me. Thank you, Melanie
Carpenter
Dell Erickson
Hi Mac,
Welcome to the club. There are a lot of us ADD types out there (maybe
10% of the population!). Most of us are very intelligent, although
learning somethings ( reading in your case, math in mine) can be a
real challenge. My reading dyslexic brother is an engineer-- sorry
about that, us eco types and engineer types don't always agree and
sometimes need to discuss things! Ha! What I am trying to say is that
you can make it too!
Because we feel and react to some things differently than some other
kids do, and because learning can be so difficult, at times school can
be very unpleasant.
What can I suggest?
1. Be sure to inform your teachers. They can often modify their
teaching methods in small ways that will assist you in learning. For
me it was asking them to write important items on the board-- lecture,
homework, test dates, etc. One of my problems (your's too?) is that I
focus too intently on a single item (sometimes one after another!) and
my mind constantly races so fast that, after a stop off in Klamath, I
am in Denver when the teacher is still back in LA! People sometimes
got angry at me for doing this. I could't help it, I was scared, and I
didn't know enough to explain to them what was happening. Sometimes
while I am listening to someone talk, at the same time I think of some
other things as welI(most people do this to some extent). They
sometimes think I am "spacey" when I am just thinking of something
else at the same time. I couldn't help it then and today I still do
it, but I've learned ways to pay attention better. You can too! (Maybe
it can be as simple as having a small ball to squeeze in your hand!).
Good news Mac, more people know about ADD today, so talking about it
with others is a lot easier than when I was your age. Back in the old
days (hey, I am NOT that old!!) people ascribed all kinds of bad
things to us which were not true. Today they know.
2. Often a special learning program may be helpful. Use it unless you
really don't need it (most of us do). Most schools have special
programs to help special students-- but your parents will need to be
persistent in requesting school assistance.
3. Tell your friends. Tell new friends early in the relationship.
Please, do not joke about it. Explain in a matter of fact way that you
are ADD (say the words "ADHD"). Tell them it is a physical thing just
like the color of you eyes. Tell them it is not emotional or
psychological because it is not. Tell them how it affects you (hard to
read, people may think I am dumb when I am not, etc.) Mac, lots of us
ADD people exclude ourselves from the group because sometimes we feel
we don't fit. In talking it over with them you will find it really
helps! You will need to make an effort and be patient.
4. Excerise daily (in **addition** to any daily activities) or get
into a school sport. Not some wimpy sport like baseball where players
spend most the time watching the grass grow, but a sport or activity
that requires lots of movement such as soccer, tennis, or track, even
physical conditioning. Track is probably best, followed by tennis,
then soccer. Winning is good, but doing is best. I tried soccer, but I
wasn't a fast runner and there was so much going on on the field that
I could not deal with it-- because my mind was already flying, During
a game, occassionally I would mentally shut down, and walk around in
circles for a short while. Not kool! Do something even if it is your
second choice. Your parents will need to allocate some time for this
as well.
5. Ask your parents to set aside 5 minutes everday for a little "Mac
Time." Five minutes of just you and a parent-- no radio, no TV,
brothers/sisters; just you. Everyday. Some days it will be 10 minutes,
somedays only 1. Ask them to just *listen* to how your day went and
how you feel about things. Ask them not to judge, but to gently
listen. Everyone needs TLC attention, but those like us especially do!
Ideally, you should blabber away and your mom or dad say such
insightful things as, "OK, I see, and then what?, nice try!,
terriffic!, proud of you!, ..."
I understand your frustration and anxiety. Keep in mind Mac, there is
good news and not so good news. The not so good news is that life for
kids can be really difficult. During the teen years until the early
20's kids learn many things about themselves and relationships,
meanwhile considering life long job choices. Whew! That's alot!
Mac, I want you to take an active role in this; do things (even if by
yourself), be physically active, be patient, talk things over, dream,
ask for assistance if you need to (you will). Whoever said growing up
is easy!
The good news is that as the years go by things really do improve .
Slowly at first, then things begin to roll into place at a quicker
rate. Same for you. I don't know anyone who would like to repeat those
teen years! Not me!
Marine biologist? Fantastic!!!!! What a life! What a wonderful field
of study. I can't say enough positive things about this field. If in
your heart you enjoy this field, go for it! You will never regret it.
But if you want to be an auto mechanic, that is good too. The point is
that you are very young and have a cornucopia of opportunities ahead
of you. Without them being a salesman, you will find your parents and
teachers a helpful information resource.
I think I've blabbered enough!
Bye,
Dell
>Hi All,
>My 12 yr old son is ADHD, dyslexic and has other learning disabilities.
>He is very smart but his reading is a problem. He has reached that age
>where he wants to be "normal" (whatever that is). Since the age of three
>he has wanted to become a marine biologist.
.....snip.......
> Thank you, Melanie
>Carpenter