Thought you all might be interested
John Mechalas
>Subject: A BORN AGAIN EARTH - VENUS
>Date: Sun, 5 Dec 1993 22:19:51 GMT
<Crow> Why do the loonies always come out at Christmas time?
<Mike> It must be all the eggnog.
>I have received many e-mails, air-mails, telephone calls, faxes, even telegrams
<Tom> And I wish people would just stop it.
>from all over the world
<Mike> I wonder if anyone sent him business cards.
<Crow> Or "get-well" cards.
> asking me why do I think that:
<All> "Why do you think that?"
> (1) "Putting Venus in an Earth-like orbit will make Venus a born again Earth"
<Tom> Is this anything like a born again Christian?
> and
> (2) How do I propose to accomplish the above.
<Crow> With a very big crowbar.
>First, I have to mention
<Tom> That I've soiled myself.
>that the first step in the entire issue of (1) is
>the acceptance of the idea that the present setup of our Solar system
<Mike> Does not meet up to OSHA standards.
>must not be taken for granted and must not be considered as an optimal setup
>which is above any criticism, challenge or defiance.
<Tom> Oh, you'd _LIKE_ that, wouldn't you?
>As I have
<Corw> Foolishly
>mentioned in the
>past, a 5 billion year old any system
<Tom> Mike, what's an "any system"?
<Mike> Poor sentance structure.
>is definitely decadent, putrid and corrupt.
<Crow> Hey! Keep the US government out of this!
>In particular, the cosmic parameters of our planet Earth
<Tom> "Our" planet Earth? Who else is it going to belong to?
>and specifically the orbit and the tilt of the Earth are responsible for ever-
>present natural disasters,
<Mike> I guess that explains all those people falling off the edge of the
world.
>relentless epidemics of diseases
<Tom> So, if we were to stand on the side of a hill, would we be more or
less resistent to disease?
>and especially for nurturing and sustaining the brutally cruel deadly
>viruses of diseases such as AIDS. etc.
<Crow> I hear that people in orbit are now part of the "high-risk" group.
>Second, It seems that the leaders of the human race on the planet Earth
<Mike> What other humans are there?
>will not consent (as they put it) "to mess around with Mother Nature"
<Crow> Hey! What a cool line for a commercial!
>out of fear of the uncertainties of the consequences of changing the Cosmic
>parameters of our planet Earth.
<Tom> So instead, we'll just change the laws of physics!
>So, the most logical, intelligent and rational thing to do is
<Mike> To quit while you're ahead.
<Tom> heh. Too late.
>to get hold of a planet of Eartrh's physical characteristics
<Tom> Oh, right! Bite me, pal!
>and put that planet in a near Earth like orbit
<Mike> Of course! It's so simple!
>the details of whose orbit and tilt (and consequently its overall
>ecology) will be decided by us.
<Crow> WE are in control.
>As a result we will have a Newly born Planet Earth, much healthier and 5
>billion years younger than our present Planet Earth.
<Mike> And, it won't stick to the pan.
>We should consider ourselves unbelievably lucky, undescribably fortunate that
>in our Solar System there is a planet which is the twin of our Planet Earth.
<Tom> Sounds like a double date, guys!
>It is incredible, indeed incredible !.
<All> "That's Incredible!"
> I am almost convinced that in our Milky Way galaxy, at least within several
>billion billion miles,
<Crow> Carl Sagan!
>there is no Planet populated by homosapiens.
<Tom> Except, of course, Earth.
>Definitely none in our Solar System, since in our Solar System The Planet
>Earth and its orbit are UNIQUE. Now it is a fortuitous fact that there is a
>physical twin of the Earth, namely Venus.
<Mike> Except for the fact that it's smaller and less massive, with a different
atmospheric composition and westward rotation.
<Tom> These two planets are exactly alike. Especially this one!
>It would be utterly unpardonable and arranly inexcusable,
<Crow> Inconceivable!
> if we miss the rare opportunity
<Tom> Rare? Try "unique", pal.
>not to create a second planet Earth from its
>twin which will be ready for the occupation by us the homosapiens.
<Mike> Me homosapien. You Jane.
> The Earth and Venus are twins,
<Crow> If they're twins, how come I don't see them in gum commercials?
>Astronomically one can say that Earth and its twin Venus were simultaneously
>conceived in the Cosmic Uterus but Earth had a Longitudinal lie in the Cosmic
>Uterus and had a natural birth, whereas its twin Venus is still in the Cosmic
>Uterus in a Transverse lie .
<Mike> Venus is a breech baby?
<Tom> Any hopes that I had of understanding this guy have just vanished.
> It is up to us , up to our miraculous technology to perform a Cosmic
>Cesarian section and deliver Venus into an Earth-like orbit!
<Crow> The solar system is pregnant?
<Mike> I hear they make over-the-counter tests for these kinds of things.
>We should not allow the twin of our orbit Earth to remain in a Transverse lie
>in the Cosmic womb and die of pulmonary hypoplasia and hypoxia.
<Tom> Hoo-boy...he's *really* flipped now.
>We must rescue Venus, the twin of our planet Earth, from its Celestial
>predicament by altering its orbit and delivering it to an Earth-like orbit.
<Crow> And no funny business, or you'll never see the moon alive again!
> This brings me to item (2) and I ask you Astronomers, Astrophysicists,
>Physicists, Space Scientists and Engineers how to accomplish the altering
>of the orbit of Venus? How ?!.
<Tom> I give up. How?
> Please post suggestions. The orbit of Venus must be changed.
<Mike> It blocks my view of Mercury.
>Forget about going to Venus and installing some reflectors
<Tom> Just forget it!
>or going to Mars and living under hermetically sealed tents.
<Crow> Mars: The campground of the _future_!
>Putting Venus in an Earth-like orbit is the way,
<Mike> *Sally Struthers voice* Would _you_ like to put Venus in an Earth-
like orbit?
<All> Sure! We all would!
>the only way, the only solution to create a Born Again Planet Earth.
>
> Please post suggestions how to accomplish altering the orbit of Venus
>for the benefit of many, many people all over the world who are interested
>in this subject and are eagerly waiting for suggestions and guidance.
<Tom> Let's see...including you, that makes one...
> Thank you. Alexander Abian.
<All> You're welcome!
<Mike> C'mon, guys...let's get out of here...
1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 6 .....
<Mike> What do you think, sirs?
--
John Mechalas \ If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
mech...@expert.cc.purdue.edu \ you vastly overestimate my importance.
Purdue University \ Stamp out and abolish redundancy.
School of Aeronautical Engineering \ If you can read this you are too close.