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MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON ED CONRAD
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Preston Duquene
Jun 7, 2013, 4:02:00 PM6/7/13
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<
< ONLY YOUR PRAYERS CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg
<
This is Atty. Melvin Goldberg of the law firm of O'Brien, O'Toole,
O'Connor and Goldberg in Lower Manhattan.
<
Our new client -- one Ed Conrad -- has informed us that he's
pretty sure he's going to be sued from here to Kingdom Come
for his on-going slanderous remarks about members of the
Scientific Establishment.
<
Mr. Conrad fears he'll lose not only all of his money but also
his pants in a class-action law suit currently being prepared
by atheists, evolutionists, The Smithsonian, talk.origins news
group and boards of directors (in some cases trustees or
regents) of some of the world's most prestigious colleges
and universities.
<
(In fact, rumor has it that the Catholic Church also may try to be
part of the lawsuit because, unless you were born yesterday,
you're aware that even the Vatican is rather upset that Ed has
been letting everyone know that NOBODY BURNS IN HELL.)
<
As for the sci folks, they vehemently insist Mr. Conrad has
slandered them all over creation by calling them, among
other disgusting comments, "a bunch of phonies with
a capital F," "Manchurian Candidates" and "fouler balls than
foul balls"-- his words, certainly not ours .
<
Ed, almost on a daily basis for the past 20 years or so, has
accused them of collusion,conspiracy, deceit and deception
-- as well as tampering with physical evidence in some cases
-- so as to continue to perpetrate the monumental conspiracy
of the Darwin Theory of (man's) Evolution.
<
Ed, you see, has assured our law office that HE'S RIGHT --
and that the theory is phonier than a crisp new $8 bill.
<
In fact, he has been proclaiming for decades that the Darwin
Theory doesn't contain enough physical evidence to fit on the
head of a pin -- and that all of the sci-boys' so-called evidence
is really nothing more than "Rhetorical Bullshit."
<
Granted, we here at O'Brien, O'Toole, O'Connor and Goldberg
have no opinion as to whether Mr. Conrad is right and the entire
Scientific Establishment is wrong. That's because three of us
-- except for Attorney O'Brien, our founder, -- flunked all of our
science classes in law school.
<
However, we have taken this case because miracles DO HAPPEN
and Ed may end with only a slap on the wrist and, at worse,perhaps
will be called a harmless kook by The Judge and/or Jury.
<
The gratifying part is that, no matter the outcome, our office will
be well paid. Despite being very pessimistic about our chances,
we took on this case because things have been very slow in our
law office lately and we certainly can use the extra cash.
<
Then again,despite the mountain of evidence that undoubtedly
will be stacked against Mr. Conrad, then again, perhaps a miracle
WILL HAPPEN.
<
This indeed is a possibility because, after all, Ed is -- or was --
a very good friend of David Fellin whom most of you know was
-- and probably still is -- a very, very good friend of God.
<
Click on
http://www.edconrad.org
if you don't believe us.
<
======================
<
MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/522305f02e955b66
<
http://www.edconrad.com
<
================
<
"We can forgive a child
who is afraid of the dark.
The real tragedy of life
is when men are afraid
of the light." -- Plato
<
============
<
THERE SHE BLOWS!
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
<
================
<
List of those who'll be called to testify against Ed Conrad . . .
<
Flo of Progressive Car Insurance
Rush Limbaugh
Roseanna Roseannadanna
John Q. Pubic
Lady Gaga
Batman and Robin (possibly The Joker,too)
Donald Trump
Jerry Sandusky
GWB, Crawford, Texas (name withheld by request)
George Carlin
Richard (Don't Call ME a Dick) Cheney
Genghis Khan
Oral Roberts
Oral Sex
Roger Ailes
Judi Arias
Billo Reilly
The Koch Brothers
Joe McGinniss
Ann "Douche Bag" Coulter
Tokyo Rose
Elvis and Enos Presley
Papa John's Pizza
Sean "Ins" Hannity
G. Willikers
The Darwin great-great grandkids
Matthew, Mark, Luke and Jack
Richard Dawkins
Michael "Mike" Jackson
Wall Street Industrial Averages
60 Minutes
Residents of Bayonne, N.J.
Harvard University
Ozzie and Harriet
Immanuel Velikovsky
787,344 unhappy Walmart Customers
Judas Iscariot
David Iain Greig and The Boys at talk.origin
Johns Hopkins University
Casey Stengel
University of California-Berkeley
Al Einstein
Al Qaeda Al-Qaeda al-Qaida al-Qa'ida
American Academy of Arts and Sciences
Philip Morris
American Association for the Advancement of Science
Sheriff Jim Dangle -- Reno 911 Police Dept.
American Association of Anatomists
Josef "Call Me Joe" Stalin
American Anthropological Association
Father Guido Sarducci
Mother Teresa
Sonia of Operation Repo
The Grim Reaper
Lee Harvey Oswald
Jack Kevorkian
Michael Moore
Jeff Rense
Fox News cameramen on 911
St. Atus Quo
President Obama
Jeffrey Dahmer
Reddy Kilowatt
Julian Asange
The Good Shepherd
Silas Mariner
Benjamin "Benny" Hill
American Journal of Physical Anthropology
Woody Allen
American Medical Association
Teddy Roosevelt
Zinkag 41 (Autonomus Unit Zinkag 41, brood assemblage Delta 64)
American Museum of Natural History
American Civil Liberties Union ACLU
Popeye and Olive Oyl
The Smithsonian Institution
Kreskin
Wikipedia typists
Geological Society of America
L'Osservatore Romano
Paleontological Research Institute (PRI)
Billy Graham
Federation of American Scientists
Science Nature Omni Penthouse magazines
Smithsonian Custodial Employees (Local 666)
New England Journal of Medicine
Paul PZ Myers University of Minnesota
Geraldo Rivera
The Good Samaritan
Pope Benedict XVI c/o The Vatican
Stephen Hawking
The Girls at Mustang Ranch
The Three Wise Men
Sen. John Boner
The Estate of the Leakey Family
Pope Francis
Rudy Giuliani
American Medical Association
talk.origins (David Iain Greig, moderator)
sci.bio.evolution
Satchel Paige
Viagra Mfg.Co.
C-span
Cornell University Medical College
Wall Street bankers
Gen Omar Bradley (Ret.)
Forensic Files
NBC ABC CBS FOX TRU-TV MSNBC
Rupert Murdoch
U.S. Geological Survey
Taliban Federation
Buddy Holly
Predators Society -- Chris Hansen CEO
Fox News
MSNBC
CNN
New England Journal of Medicine
Boris Karloff
Tiger Woods and possibly a Lady Friend
Institute of Human Origins
Stephen Hawking
The nation's Death Row inmates
The Warner Brothers
Kenneth and Gloria Copeland
Brad Pitt
Stagehands of "Dancing With the Stars"
Peyton and Archie Manning
Donald Rumsfeld
Piers Morgan
Oral Roberts
Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center
Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales, founder of Wikipedia
Chris Matthews
Rachel Maddow
Google Technicians
Michael Moore
Red Skelton
Bill Maher and His Whole Family
Reps of several Mexcan D rug Cartels
Smithsonian Snack Shop staff
Time Magazine
Anderson Cooper
National Enquirer
New York Times Post Daily News Daily Mirror
Mr. and Mrs. Sippi
Washington Insider
Philadelphia Inquirer
Steve Colbert and The Entire Nation
eBay Stores
PBS
Rosie O'Donnell
National Enquirer
National Lampoon
Washington Post
Wall Street Journal
Yogi Berra
The View
U.S. News and World Report
60 Minutes
Roswell (N.M.) Chamber of Commerce
Arianna Huffington
David Letterman
Toronto Star
Charles Manson
< ONLY YOUR PRAYERS CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg
<
This is Atty. Melvin Goldberg of the law firm of O'Brien, O'Toole,
O'Connor and Goldberg in Lower Manhattan.
<
Our new client -- one Ed Conrad -- has informed us that he's
pretty sure he's going to be sued from here to Kingdom Come
for his on-going slanderous remarks about members of the
Scientific Establishment.
<
Mr. Conrad fears he'll lose not only all of his money but also
his pants in a class-action law suit currently being prepared
by atheists, evolutionists, The Smithsonian, talk.origins news
group and boards of directors (in some cases trustees or
regents) of some of the world's most prestigious colleges
and universities.
<
(In fact, rumor has it that the Catholic Church also may try to be
part of the lawsuit because, unless you were born yesterday,
you're aware that even the Vatican is rather upset that Ed has
been letting everyone know that NOBODY BURNS IN HELL.)
<
As for the sci folks, they vehemently insist Mr. Conrad has
slandered them all over creation by calling them, among
other disgusting comments, "a bunch of phonies with
a capital F," "Manchurian Candidates" and "fouler balls than
foul balls"-- his words, certainly not ours .
<
Ed, almost on a daily basis for the past 20 years or so, has
accused them of collusion,conspiracy, deceit and deception
-- as well as tampering with physical evidence in some cases
-- so as to continue to perpetrate the monumental conspiracy
of the Darwin Theory of (man's) Evolution.
<
Ed, you see, has assured our law office that HE'S RIGHT --
and that the theory is phonier than a crisp new $8 bill.
<
In fact, he has been proclaiming for decades that the Darwin
Theory doesn't contain enough physical evidence to fit on the
head of a pin -- and that all of the sci-boys' so-called evidence
is really nothing more than "Rhetorical Bullshit."
<
Granted, we here at O'Brien, O'Toole, O'Connor and Goldberg
have no opinion as to whether Mr. Conrad is right and the entire
Scientific Establishment is wrong. That's because three of us
-- except for Attorney O'Brien, our founder, -- flunked all of our
science classes in law school.
<
However, we have taken this case because miracles DO HAPPEN
and Ed may end with only a slap on the wrist and, at worse,perhaps
will be called a harmless kook by The Judge and/or Jury.
<
The gratifying part is that, no matter the outcome, our office will
be well paid. Despite being very pessimistic about our chances,
we took on this case because things have been very slow in our
law office lately and we certainly can use the extra cash.
<
Then again,despite the mountain of evidence that undoubtedly
will be stacked against Mr. Conrad, then again, perhaps a miracle
WILL HAPPEN.
<
This indeed is a possibility because, after all, Ed is -- or was --
a very good friend of David Fellin whom most of you know was
-- and probably still is -- a very, very good friend of God.
<
Click on
http://www.edconrad.org
if you don't believe us.
<
======================
<
MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/522305f02e955b66
<
http://www.edconrad.com
<
================
<
"We can forgive a child
who is afraid of the dark.
The real tragedy of life
is when men are afraid
of the light." -- Plato
<
============
<
THERE SHE BLOWS!
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
<
================
<
List of those who'll be called to testify against Ed Conrad . . .
<
Flo of Progressive Car Insurance
Rush Limbaugh
Roseanna Roseannadanna
John Q. Pubic
Lady Gaga
Batman and Robin (possibly The Joker,too)
Donald Trump
Jerry Sandusky
GWB, Crawford, Texas (name withheld by request)
George Carlin
Richard (Don't Call ME a Dick) Cheney
Genghis Khan
Oral Roberts
Oral Sex
Roger Ailes
Judi Arias
Billo Reilly
The Koch Brothers
Joe McGinniss
Ann "Douche Bag" Coulter
Tokyo Rose
Elvis and Enos Presley
Papa John's Pizza
Sean "Ins" Hannity
G. Willikers
The Darwin great-great grandkids
Matthew, Mark, Luke and Jack
Richard Dawkins
Michael "Mike" Jackson
Wall Street Industrial Averages
60 Minutes
Residents of Bayonne, N.J.
Harvard University
Ozzie and Harriet
Immanuel Velikovsky
787,344 unhappy Walmart Customers
Judas Iscariot
David Iain Greig and The Boys at talk.origin
Johns Hopkins University
Casey Stengel
University of California-Berkeley
Al Einstein
Al Qaeda Al-Qaeda al-Qaida al-Qa'ida
American Academy of Arts and Sciences
Philip Morris
American Association for the Advancement of Science
Sheriff Jim Dangle -- Reno 911 Police Dept.
American Association of Anatomists
Josef "Call Me Joe" Stalin
American Anthropological Association
Father Guido Sarducci
Mother Teresa
Sonia of Operation Repo
The Grim Reaper
Lee Harvey Oswald
Jack Kevorkian
Michael Moore
Jeff Rense
Fox News cameramen on 911
St. Atus Quo
President Obama
Jeffrey Dahmer
Reddy Kilowatt
Julian Asange
The Good Shepherd
Silas Mariner
Benjamin "Benny" Hill
American Journal of Physical Anthropology
Woody Allen
American Medical Association
Teddy Roosevelt
Zinkag 41 (Autonomus Unit Zinkag 41, brood assemblage Delta 64)
American Museum of Natural History
American Civil Liberties Union ACLU
Popeye and Olive Oyl
The Smithsonian Institution
Kreskin
Wikipedia typists
Geological Society of America
L'Osservatore Romano
Paleontological Research Institute (PRI)
Billy Graham
Federation of American Scientists
Science Nature Omni Penthouse magazines
Smithsonian Custodial Employees (Local 666)
New England Journal of Medicine
Paul PZ Myers University of Minnesota
Geraldo Rivera
The Good Samaritan
Pope Benedict XVI c/o The Vatican
Stephen Hawking
The Girls at Mustang Ranch
The Three Wise Men
Sen. John Boner
The Estate of the Leakey Family
Pope Francis
Rudy Giuliani
American Medical Association
talk.origins (David Iain Greig, moderator)
sci.bio.evolution
Satchel Paige
Viagra Mfg.Co.
C-span
Cornell University Medical College
Wall Street bankers
Gen Omar Bradley (Ret.)
Forensic Files
NBC ABC CBS FOX TRU-TV MSNBC
Rupert Murdoch
U.S. Geological Survey
Taliban Federation
Buddy Holly
Predators Society -- Chris Hansen CEO
Fox News
MSNBC
CNN
New England Journal of Medicine
Boris Karloff
Tiger Woods and possibly a Lady Friend
Institute of Human Origins
Stephen Hawking
The nation's Death Row inmates
The Warner Brothers
Kenneth and Gloria Copeland
Brad Pitt
Stagehands of "Dancing With the Stars"
Peyton and Archie Manning
Donald Rumsfeld
Piers Morgan
Oral Roberts
Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center
Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales, founder of Wikipedia
Chris Matthews
Rachel Maddow
Google Technicians
Michael Moore
Red Skelton
Bill Maher and His Whole Family
Reps of several Mexcan D rug Cartels
Smithsonian Snack Shop staff
Time Magazine
Anderson Cooper
National Enquirer
New York Times Post Daily News Daily Mirror
Mr. and Mrs. Sippi
Washington Insider
Philadelphia Inquirer
Steve Colbert and The Entire Nation
eBay Stores
PBS
Rosie O'Donnell
National Enquirer
National Lampoon
Washington Post
Wall Street Journal
Yogi Berra
The View
U.S. News and World Report
60 Minutes
Roswell (N.M.) Chamber of Commerce
Arianna Huffington
David Letterman
Toronto Star
Charles Manson
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