Birdman breaks up with Safarova

[TT]

This is apparently couple months old news already...
http://footfault.net/2011/09/22/so-tomas-berdych-has-a-new-woman/

Here's his alleged new girlfriend, a model:

http://media.2011.super.cz/images/gallery/16823.jpg?20110922085104
http://im.sport.cz/089/140897-article-rstok.jpg
http://im.sport.cz/089/140896-article-h84j7.jpg

[Court_1]

On Sep 22, 5:44 pm, TT <as...@usenet.org> wrote:
> This is apparently couple months old news already...http://footfault.net/2011/09/22/so-tomas-berdych-has-a-new-woman/

>
> Here's his alleged new girlfriend, a model:
>
> http://media.2011.super.cz/images/gallery/16823.jpg?20110922085104http://im.sport.cz/089/140897-article-rstok.jpghttp://im.sport.cz/089/140896-article-h84j7.jpg

No surprise there if that is true. Berdych and Safarova are very young
and should not be expected to go out for eternity. Now is the time for
them to date a bunch of people. It would be stupid not to.

[felangey]

>No surprise there if that is true. Berdych and Safarova are very young
and should not be expected to go out for eternity. Now is the time for
them to date a bunch of people. It would be stupid not to.<

I don't follow? If they had been happy together, then they would still have
been stupid to not go and date a bunch of other people....because now is the
time?

[TT]

23.9.2011 2:24, Court_1 kirjoitti:

> Well obviously they were not too happy if they broke up no? People get
> into a routine in relationships. What I am saying is they are both 25
> and young and have been going out since they were teenagers

Tell that to dingbat1.

Btw, I don't think they dated 9 years...maybe couple years.

[felangey]

> and should not be expected to go out for eternity. Now is the time for
> them to date a bunch of people. It would be stupid not to.<
>
> I don't follow? If they had been happy together, then they would still
> have
> been stupid to not go and date a bunch of other people....because now is
> the
> time?

>Well obviously they were not too happy if they broke up no? People get

into a routine in relationships. What I am saying is they are both 25

and young and have been going out since they were teenagers and if
they were not happy, breaking up and dating other people is the smart
thing to do.<

Thanks for the clarification.

>It is not usually the recommended thing to do to commit to somebody when
>you are very young and never have dated anybody else.<

By the board of spousal recommendation I guess? :)

>Do you know anything about marriage stats in the world?

50% of marriages break up and just "one" of the many things that
contribute to a divorce occurs when two people marry too young without
dating others. I don't make up the stats. They are there for all to
see.<

Sure, divorce stats are at an all time high. I would be surprised if there
were stats to show that any large proportion of that was down to "marrying
too young without dating others".

>Are there people who beat the odds and marry very young and stay
married? Sure, but the odds are

The odds are? I have no idea what the odds are. I do know many people who
married young and stayed together and many who married in their 30's that
didn't last more than a couple of years. In no way though would I consider a
couple like Saf and Berdy (at 24 and 26 years old) particularly young for
marriage. Is that young where you are?

[Court_1]

I meant to say the odds are against them but my post got cut off
somehow.

Berdych and Safarova have been dating for a long while and have
unlikely had much chance to date anybody else being that they are
tennis pros dedicated to tennis, so yes, I think that is not the
smartest thing in the world and statistics back me up on that
regardless of whether you do or not. Yes there are couples who date
since they are teenagers and get married and end up happy but many do
not. In either case, divorce rates are still over 50% but there are
certainly things one can do to try and ensure longevity in a marriage.
Getting married very young is often a predictor for divorce along with
many other things such as money issues, infidelity, etc. As I said I
don't make up the rules. Stats exist for a reason.

Are you from some small hick town? I am from a big city so maybe it is
different

[jdeluise]

On 22-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Are you from some small hick town? I am from a big city so maybe it is
> different

I live in a small, isolated town and have noticed that people tend to get
married younger here than when I lived in bigger cities. In any case, I got
married pretty young and am still married after more than a decade. I
agree, though, that getting married young can be risky in the longevity
department.

Not all small towns are "hick towns" by the way...

[Court_1]

On Sep 22, 9:38 pm, "jdeluise" <jdelu...@gmail.com> wrote:

I never said all small towns are hick towns or at least I never meant
to imply that. :)

[felangey]

>I meant to say the odds are against them

Are they? I know the stats worldwide come in at roughly 50% survival rate
for marriage, but I have yet to see any major contributary statistics citing
people "being too young and not seeing enough people". It could well be
right, I don't know.....but I doubt that stats exist that explicitly support
that.

>Berdych and Safarova have been dating for a long while and have
unlikely had much chance to date anybody else being that they are
tennis pros dedicated to tennis, so yes, I think that is not the
smartest thing in the world and statistics back me up on that
regardless of whether you do or not.

I am still not sure what you mean. They have been dating a long time, they
haven't dated many others....so you think it isn't the smartest thing and
statistics back you up? I'm confused! :) Obviously I am not saying it is
smart to stay together if you don't think a relationship is without a
future.....yet if they had been happy, why not stay together? Break up and
play the field a bit - before the statistics get you? ;)

>Getting married very young is often a predictor for divorce along with many
>other things such as money issues, infidelity, etc. As I said I
don't make up the rules. Stats exist for a reason.<

So, your advice for a successful marriage is to not marry your
childhood/university sweetheart at least until you have played the field,
don't marry until you or your prospective spouse has lots of money etc? ;) I
am still wondering how young you think "young" is....just curious. It's my
experience that sharing the formative years of your life with someone can be
a wonderful thing to do, but I think it really seems to depend on the people
involved and the reasons for marriage etc. What I seem to see is that most
people I know who married young and had it last have very cool
relationships...a great understanding and rapport with each other...and
invariably a great sense of humour. Of those who have failed....almost all
my friends in that situation have gone on to have successful second
marriages. I don't know how much of that is down to a better partner
choice....or lowered/more informed expectations or what. Of course, you
could argue in their instance that they did in fact get married too
young....but on the other hand you could surmise that is would have taken
them the lessons of one failed marriage to get things right anyhow. Who
knows.

>Are you from some small hick town? I am from a big city so maybe it is
>different

I'm not sure if that is a slur or not :) but, I am from a fairly small town,
around 30k population....but many of those I speak of are from a city
university.

[Court_1]

Oh my goodness marrying too young is one of the 5 most common
predictors of divorce. I thought that was common knowledge. You are
obviously not keeping up with the research in this area. Again, of
course there are exceptions to this rule but in general marrying too
young is a strong predictor of divorce.

I am not saying you should play the field and break up with somebody
if you are happy. Where did I ever say that? I only said that marrying
too young and only having one relationship in your entire life before
you marry is a predictor of divorce. Come on, keep up with the studies
will you! This has been well known for many years and has been in
newspapers and all over the news for forever not to mention more
detailed studies in psychology and family law.

For me in this day and age, I would say it is probably smart for
people to be in their late twenties at least before they marry. Again,
I am not saying this is for everybody, but it is a generality. Women
have no clue who they are until they are in their late 20's. Remember
I am coming at it from the stance of a career woman. Woman today have
professional careers and are involved in that until they are in their
mid to late twenties--i.e. in school and then their internship after
school. This is not like the Victorian ages where most women did not
have careers.

http://howtosavemarriagenow.net/top-5-factors-that-increases-the-risk-of-a-divorce/

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-09-delayed-marriage_N.htm

I just quickly posted above two links that indicate marrying too young
is a predictor of divorce. There are millions of links and studies on
this issue however.

[jdeluise]

On Sep 22, 6:30 pm, "felangey" <th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:

> I'm not sure if that is a slur or not :) but, I am from a fairly small town,
> around 30k population....but many of those I speak of are from a city
> university.

Sounds like a metropolis :)

[felangey]

>Oh my goodness marrying too young is one of the 5 most common
predictors of divorce.<

"Marrying too young" surely cannot be a "predictor of divorce", unless one
has a surefast way of establishing, in the first instance, an age that can
be commonly deemed as "too young"?

>You are obviously not keeping up with the research in this area.<

I have conducted my own research! :) I don't believe age to be the ultimate
factor in whether a marriage has a good chance of success. I believe the
problem of divorce is much more complex than that, in whatever age band you
choose to select...and the devil lies in the unquantifiable details that
statistics can never access. The successful outlook for a marriage I believe
lies in a complex array of maturity....of self understanding...shared goals
and outlooks......good sense of humour etc. Now you can surmise that a
younger person/couple has a much bigger chance of deficit in any of these
areas through lack of experience...and you would be correct according to the
statistics. And yet all these things do not necessarily come with age. Also,
much of my experience comes from well-educated couples from supportive
families. These statistics we discuss present only age related data....and
don't take into consideration the swathes of kids that get married young out
of rebellion, in status seeking, for benefit purposes etc. My point is
merely that I certainly wouldn't advise a couple to rule out marriage solely
on the basis of age....and should my counsel be sought on such a matter, any
advice would be based on much more than that.

>For me in this day and age, I would say it is probably smart for people to
>be in their late twenties at least before they marry<

Again, I couldn't advise it as "smart" for people to wait to be in their
late twenties. Not when personally getting married at 20 was the best
decision of my life. Being smart is the people involved making the correct
decision for them, based on many things....and maybe even with the
statistics in mind, but never with them as a deciding factor.

>Women have no clue who they are until they are in their late 20's.

I wholeheartedly can say that I do not believe that to always be the case,
even it is for yourself.

>Remember I am coming at it from the stance of a career woman. Woman today
>have professional careers and are involved in that until they are in their
>mid to late twenties--i.e. in school and then their internship after
>school. This is not like the Victorian ages where most women did not have
>careers.

My wife and I married while still at Uni....she has been a career woman from
the get go....no problems. I don't see why having a career would preclude a
woman from getting married young? I cook and we tend not to iron much these
days! ;)

[felangey]

>Sounds like a metropolis :)

These days I live on an island with about 200 odd others....broadband
delivered by radio mast and water and power sketchy at times! ;)

[jdeluise]

Sounds fun! It's not that isolated here though there are places like
it nearby.

[only human]

I love her eyes. she has some gorgeous intense eyes.

[Sakari Lund]

9 years is about right. There were interviews several years ago and
they had already been together for a long time then. I think since
they were 15-16.

[bob]

On Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:24:25 -0700 (PDT), Court_1
<Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>On Sep 22, 7:10�pm, "felangey" <th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:

>Well obviously they were not too happy if they broke up no? People get
>into a routine in relationships. What I am saying is they are both 25

>and young and have been going out since they were teenagers and if
>they were not happy, breaking up and dating other people is the smart

>thing to do. It is not usually the recommended thing to do to commit
>to somebody when you are very young and never have dated anybody else.

ulyses has been with the same 1 guy since jr year high school - seems
to me you're *invalidating her entire life*, eh?

>Do you know anything about marriage stats in the world?
>50% of marriages break up and just "one" of the many things that
>contribute to a divorce occurs when two people marry too young without
>dating others. I don't make up the stats. They are there for all to
>see.

>Are there people who beat the odds and marry very young and stay
>married? Sure, but the odds are

bob

[bob]

On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 02:51:24 +0300, TT <as...@usenet.org> wrote:

she just invalidated d1's entire life and philosophy.

>Btw, I don't think they dated 9 years...maybe couple years.

bob

[bob]

it is a well known fact that drunken cheating abusive husbands are
almost as likely to get divorced as those who faithfully married their
high school sweetheart w/out 1st experimenting with the entire
cheerleading squad at at least 2 teachers. :-) lol.

bob

[bob]

you proved 1 thing in this thread about you and ulyses - 1 actually
COULD speak while other gargles at the same time.

>Are you from some small hick town? I am from a big city so maybe it is
>different

c'mon, i bet you even have a colored or hispanic maid like JLo, no?

bob

[bob]

wow - how long do you give uly then? few more months before it kicks
in? as you say, she must be one dumb sonovagun staying all her life
with that high school sweetheart.

>For me in this day and age, I would say it is probably smart for
>people to be in their late twenties at least before they marry. Again,
>I am not saying this is for everybody, but it is a generality. Women
>have no clue who they are until they are in their late 20's. Remember
>I am coming at it from the stance of a career woman. Woman today have
>professional careers and are involved in that until they are in their
>mid to late twenties--i.e. in school and then their internship after
>school. This is not like the Victorian ages where most women did not
>have careers.
>http://howtosavemarriagenow.net/top-5-factors-that-increases-the-risk-of-a-divorce/
>http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-09-delayed-marriage_N.htm
>I just quickly posted above two links that indicate marrying too young
>is a predictor of divorce. There are millions of links and studies on
>this issue however.

bob

[Javier González]

I wonder how much of the skew in "marriages fail 50% of the time" is
caused by serial divorcees...

/married young, 8 years ago
//still going strong
///city boy all the way :)

[TT]

What high school sweetheart, you mean that silly looking guy who looks
like 20 years younger?

[TT]

But not only her husband but uly also has experimented with all those
flaccid 2 inch penises.

[TT]

23.9.2011 14:10, bob kirjoitti:
> On Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:24:25 -0700 (PDT), Court_1
> <Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>> On Sep 22, 7:10 pm, "felangey"<th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:
>>>> No surprise there if that is true. Berdych and Safarova are very young
>>>
>>> and should not be expected to go out for eternity. Now is the time for
>>> them to date a bunch of people. It would be stupid not to.<
>>>
>>> I don't follow? If they had been happy together, then they would still have
>>> been stupid to not go and date a bunch of other people....because now is the
>>> time?
>>
>> Well obviously they were not too happy if they broke up no? People get
>> into a routine in relationships. What I am saying is they are both 25
>> and young and have been going out since they were teenagers and if
>> they were not happy, breaking up and dating other people is the smart
>> thing to do. It is not usually the recommended thing to do to commit
>> to somebody when you are very young and never have dated anybody else.
>
> ulyses has been with the same 1 guy since jr year high school - seems
> to me you're *invalidating her entire life*, eh?
>

You mean they began their relationship when her husband was in kindergarten?

[bob]

are u referring to the guy with the big hair?

bob

[TT]

Yeah, that same guy who needs to hit gym and cut his hair asap. Or maybe
just a sex change operation.

[Pelle Svanslös]

I'd say he's bald now.

--
http://memedepot.com/uploads/2000/2098_steamboat.gif

[Pelle Svanslös]

And Uly was the kinder-aid.

--
http://memedepot.com/uploads/2000/2098_steamboat.gif

[drew]

On Sep 22, 5:44 pm, TT <as...@usenet.org> wrote:
> This is apparently couple months old news already...http://footfault.net/2011/09/22/so-tomas-berdych-has-a-new-woman/
>
> Here's his alleged new girlfriend, a model:
>
> http://media.2011.super.cz/images/gallery/16823.jpg?20110922085104http://im.sport.cz/089/140897-article-rstok.jpghttp://im.sport.cz/089/140896-article-h84j7.jpg

She's pretty...but too bony.

Fat girls are gross but emaciated isn't beautiful either.

[TT]

How would you feel about 24 year old Helen Mirren in "Age of Consent":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQFhzJsl5O8

I'd call her body "luscious" in that one.

Pretty good film and bonus was Mirren being less than fully clothed
substantial part of the time...

[bob]

lol. yeah maybe.

bob

[drew]

On Sep 22, 9:38 pm, "jdeluise" <jdelu...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On 22-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>

> > Are you from some small hick town? I am from a big city so maybe it is
> > different
>

> I live in a small, isolated town and have noticed that people tend to get
> married younger here than when I lived in bigger cities.  In any case, I got
> married pretty young and am still married after more than a decade.  I
> agree, though, that getting married young can be risky in the longevity
> department.

I've noticed that too. Grew up in the big city and moved to a small
town and noticed
right away how young the girls were when they married.

Marrying young with the right person is the IDEAL situation IMO. The
problem is that there
are so many people who are still children well into their adult
years. They haven't grown enough
emotionally to be a good partner for life. Part of that is life
experience and of course part of
life experience is experiencing other people as possible partners in
life.

Without adequate experience, a person can just assume that a partner
is difficult....and you've been
told by others that "all men are like that" or "all women are like
this", and you marry this person not knowing
that you're believing a half-truth at best. So unless you get very
lucky first try or you are somehow a great
judge of character as a very young person, your chances of settling
with a compatible mate when you are
quite young....your chances aren't that damned good.

I feel happy for happily ever after couples....who marry young and
never regret their decision except for the
inevitable difficulties of life (married or not).

[drew]

On Sep 23, 12:32 am, "felangey" <th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:

I believe the
> problem of divorce is much more complex than that, in whatever age band you
> choose to select...and the devil lies in the unquantifiable details that
> statistics can never access.

Exactly. I think the assumption is that young person = immature
person.

As far as the 'career woman' issue goes....why would this issue
disappear at 30? Most
serious careers for women are only just starting at 30.

I think that a lot of women believe the lie that somehow a career is
something much, much
different from a job. And the bigger lie is that somehow this career
is going to be so much
more fulfilling than raising a family. And the most damaging lie of
all is that two career people
can both work 60 hour weeks and also enjoy raising their own
children.

[drew]

On Sep 22, 10:30 pm, "felangey" <th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:


What I seem to see is that most
> people I know who married young and had it last have very cool
> relationships...a great understanding and rapport with each other...and
> invariably a great sense of humour.

I agree that most lasting marriages of people who married in their
late teens or
early twenties are good marriages (nowadays). A lot of old folks
would have divorced if it
weren't for financial dependancy and social stima. This was the toxic
glue that
kept many marriages together in the olden days so you still see these
old farts who
really don't like each other much but they stick together. Tragic and
funny at the same time.

Of those who have failed....almost all
> my friends in that situation have gone on to have successful second
> marriages. I don't know how much of that is down to a better partner
> choice....or lowered/more informed expectations or what.

I think it may have something to do with the quality of your friends.
Some people
just keep making the same mistakes over and over. These people aren't
necessarily
bad folks...they're just attracted to the wrong people or they haven't
dealt with their
own issues before marrying again...so similar patterns emerge in
subsequent marriage(s).

Of course, you
> could argue in their instance that they did in fact get married too
> young....but on the other hand you could surmise that is would have taken
> them the lessons of one failed marriage to get things right anyhow. Who
> knows.

Bad luck or bad character or bad choices?

Good luck or good character or good choices?

All I know is that my ex-wife had a husband before me and one
afterwards....one would think
that after 2 attempts that one might begin to consider looking into
the mirror for the source
of the problem.

[drew]

On Sep 23, 7:14 am, bob <stein...@comcast.net> wrote:

> it is a well known fact that drunken cheating abusive husbands are
> almost as likely to get divorced as those who faithfully married their
> high school sweetheart w/out 1st experimenting with the entire
> cheerleading squad at at least 2 teachers. :-) lol.

That's because the faithful husband who didn't experiment with the
entire cheerleading squad and all of his French teachers....this guy
happens to marry a drunken cheating abusive wife who experimented
with the whole football team, basketball team and the cheerleading
squad...(well known fact).. :-0

[Javier González]

On Sep 23, 2:26 pm, TT <as...@usenet.org> wrote:
> 23.9.2011 20:19, drew kirjoitti:
>
> > On Sep 22, 5:44 pm, TT<as...@usenet.org>  wrote:
> >> This is apparently couple months old news already...http://footfault.net/2011/09/22/so-tomas-berdych-has-a-new-woman/
>
> >> Here's his alleged new girlfriend, a model:
>

> >>http://media.2011.super.cz/images/gallery/16823.jpg?20110922085104htt...

>
> > She's pretty...but too bony.
>
> > Fat girls are gross but emaciated isn't beautiful either.
>
> How would you feel about 24 year old Helen Mirren in "Age of Consent":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQFhzJsl5O8
>
> I'd call her body "luscious" in that one.
>
> Pretty good film and bonus was Mirren being less than fully clothed
> substantial part of the time...

I believe the accurate scientific term is "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN".

Also, she suffered the condition that is described by the medical
terminology "DAT ASS".

[felangey]

>All I know is that my ex-wife had a husband before me and one
>afterwards....one would think that after 2 attempts that one might begin to
>consider looking into the mirror for the source of the problem.

Sadly, I know this person too. Not only will they not turn inwardly for
reflection on possible problems....but they also become embittered by their
gosh darned bad luck....and in the cases I have seen become incredibly
selfish and paranoid that everyone is out to get them. These people used to
piss me off no end....but now I just feel really sad for them. Most of them
will just never see a break in the clouds.

[drew]

On Sep 23, 1:26 pm, TT <as...@usenet.org> wrote:
> 23.9.2011 20:19, drew kirjoitti:
>
> > On Sep 22, 5:44 pm, TT<as...@usenet.org>  wrote:
> >> This is apparently couple months old news already...http://footfault.net/2011/09/22/so-tomas-berdych-has-a-new-woman/
>
> >> Here's his alleged new girlfriend, a model:
>

> >>http://media.2011.super.cz/images/gallery/16823.jpg?20110922085104htt...

>
> > She's pretty...but too bony.
>
> > Fat girls are gross but emaciated isn't beautiful either.
>
> How would you feel about 24 year old Helen Mirren in "Age of Consent":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQFhzJsl5O8
>
> I'd call her body "luscious" in that one.

Nice. Perfect hip to waist ratio. Nice ass. Nice breasts.

[Court_1]

> bob- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Don't be a fool Boob, I certainly am NOT invalidating Uly's life or
anybody else's life. Learn how to read. I said that marrying too young
is a predictor for divorce and I am talking in general terms. Don't be
a dick.

[Court_1]

> ///city boy all the way :)- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

I don't know but the divorce rate is 50% or over. That is a stat that
can't be denied. I don't think most people are serial divorcees(that
by the way is a very sexist comment, are there not two people in a
marraige?) I am only saying that marrying at age 18 for MOST people
is not the smart way to go. It is a very general statement and one
that can be backed up by stats.

I am not talking about anything personally here. I am only talking in
generalities.

[Court_1]

You are without question the biggest idiot on this newsgroup and you
continue to prove that time and time again. STFU and learn how to
read what a person posts properly.

[Court_1]

It is not a lie. Two people can have careers and raise children. This
is year 2011 and 1411! Chauvinistic much?

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 12:32 am, "felangey" <th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:

> >Oh my goodness marrying too young is one of the 5 most common
>
> predictors of divorce.<
>

> "Marrying too young" surely cannot be a "predictor of divorce", unless one
> has a surefast way of establishing, in the first instance, an age that can
> be commonly deemed as "too young"?

>
> >You are obviously not keeping up with the research in this area.<
>

> I have conducted my own research! :) I don't believe age to be the ultimate
> factor in whether a marriage has a good chance of success. I believe the

> problem of divorce is much more complex than that, in whatever age band you
> choose to select...and the devil lies in the unquantifiable details that

> statistics can never access. The successful outlook for a marriage I believe
> lies in a complex array of maturity....of self understanding...shared goals
> and outlooks......good sense of humour etc. Now you can surmise that a
> younger person/couple has a much bigger chance of deficit in any of these
> areas through lack of experience...and you would be correct according to the
> statistics. And yet all these things do not necessarily come with age. Also,
> much of my experience comes from well-educated couples from supportive
> families. These statistics we discuss present only age related data....and
> don't take into consideration the swathes of kids that get married young out
> of rebellion, in status seeking, for benefit purposes etc. My point is
> merely that I certainly wouldn't advise a couple to rule out marriage solely
> on the basis of age....and should my counsel be sought on such a matter, any
> advice would be based on much more than that.

>
> >For me in this day and age, I would say it is probably smart for people to
> >be in their late twenties at least before they marry<
>

> Again, I couldn't advise it as "smart" for people to wait to be in their
> late twenties. Not when personally getting married at 20 was the best
> decision of my life. Being smart is the people involved making the correct
> decision for them, based on many things....and maybe even with the
> statistics in mind, but never with them as a deciding factor.

>
> >Women have no clue who they are until they are in their late 20's.
>

> I wholeheartedly can say that I do not believe that to always be the case,
> even it is for yourself.

>
> >Remember I am coming at it from the stance of a career woman. Woman today
> >have professional careers and are involved in that until they are in their
> >mid to late twenties--i.e. in school and then their internship after
> >school. This is not like the Victorian ages where most women did not have
> >careers.
>

> My wife and I married while still at Uni....she has been a career woman from
> the get go....no problems. I don't see why having a career would preclude a
> woman from getting married young? I cook and we tend not to iron much these
> days! ;)

You and I will have to agree to disagree then. Again, I am not saying
marrying very young is the wrong decision for everybody but it is
definitely a general factor in predicting divorce. Does that mean
all young people who marry will divorce? Of course not, but if you get
married at age 19 for example the odds are against you. Again, I don't
make up the stats and do the research. All you have to do is read the
studies over the years and look at the divorce rate stats. There are
many other factors in predicting a successful marriage and still at
the end of the day the divorce rate is 50% or higher for ALL
marriages. Do you dispute those stats too? LOL.

In any case, you and I come from very different or currently live in
different places. I live in a big city and you live in a small town or
on an island. Things are very different just based on that factor
alone.

[jdeluise]

On 23-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> In any case, you and I come from very different or currently live in
> different places. I live in a big city and you live in a small town or
> on an island. Things are very different just based on that factor
> alone.

You mean to say city folk are impatient and demand instant gratification or
they're out? ;)

[Patrick Kehoe]

I married at 29 and have stayed married to my wife ever since (22
years) and from my experience it's just total LUCK that you happen to
find someone with whom you share friendship and love, compatibility
and understanding, order and laughter... I have to say I did consider
2 other woman in earlier years but just couldn't see myself married to
them, over the haul... I imagined myself at 45 with them and the
picture didn't materialize, the self projection into a possible
future...

In life you had better get 3 choices right, if you possibly can! 1)
The choice of your educational path 2) The partner you take into your
life for the long term and 3) How you are going to contribute in this
world... get those right and you will go a LONG way to a good life,
for however long it lasts, wherever you may be...

P

[Patrick Kehoe]

I agree... marry young and you are really, REALLY tossing the dice
with your life...

P

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 5:28 pm, "jdeluise" <jdelu...@gmail.com> wrote:

LOL! Is that your impression of "all" city folk? By that same token
does that mean "all" small town folk are brain dead? ;)

[jdeluise]

On 23-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> LOL! Is that your impression of "all" city folk? By that same token
> does that mean "all" small town folk are brain dead? ;)

But of course!!! ;)

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 5:49 pm, "jdeluise" <jdelu...@gmail.com> wrote:

> On 23-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > LOL!  Is that your impression of "all" city folk? By that same token
> > does that mean "all" small town folk are brain dead? ;)
>
> But of course!!! ;)

:)

[Court_1]

> P- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

That is all I am saying. When you marry you toss the dice in any case,
but marrying at age 18 really tosses those dice up high!

[Shakes]

One of the, dare I say unfortunate, repercussions of pushing women into
careers is that it has devalued motherhood. A lot of women today have
relatively less respect for housewives. I think being a full-time
mom/wife is a lot harder than having a full-time career.

Also, it's very tough to balance a home and a career in that you cannot
do equal justice to both. You have to cut corners on one of the two.

[jdeluise]

On 23-Sep-2011, Patrick Kehoe <pke...@telus.net> wrote:

> I agree... marry young and you are really, REALLY tossing the dice
> with your life...

You're right, but I'd say people who marry young are more likely to stick
together if they think of these things beforehand. Let's face it, there are
a lot of people who get married after a few days, week, or months without a
care in the world.... it's just another thing to do. They probably weren't
all that committed in the first place.

[jdeluise]

On 23-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> That is a stat that
> can't be denied. I don't think most people are serial divorcees(that
> by the way is a very sexist comment, are there not two people in a
> marraige?)

In English, "Divorcee" doesn't necessarily imply gender so it's not sexist.
You're thinking of "divorcée"...

[Court_1]

> P- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

You have got it right in that a lot of it is luck of the draw no
matter what age you marry. I think when you are a little older and
wiser (the age you married at 29 sounds like a good age) you know more
what you want and need from somebody else and more importantly from
yourself. When you are 18 you are still trying to figure out what you
want to be and do in life.

[felangey]

> I am only saying that marrying at age 18 for MOST people
is not the smart way to go. It is a very general statement and one
that can be backed up by stats.

No offence intended at all.....but I just don't see the coherence to
argument of this sentence. You say for most people it isn't the "smart" way
to go.....yet "most" people don't get married at 18. Therefore you can't
know what is best for "most" people - and it isn't a general statement
backed by statistics....but a personal opinion. All the stats tell us is
that of those people who marry at age less than 20, 80% of them will
experience divorce. Any value judgement of "smart"ness or otherwise is added
by you and your assessment of what the data means to you.

[Court_1]

> do equal justice to both. You have to cut corners on one of the two.- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

I 100% disagree with you here. Women having careers does NOT devalue
motherhood. Motherhood is the most important thing for sure but a
woman can have a career and be a good mother. I personally think it is
a good role model for a daughter or son to have a mother who is
independent and doing something she loves.
Nobody is saying choosing to be a full time stay at home mother is
less fulfilling but it should be a matter of choice. The truth is many
women who sacrifice their own independence and career are unfulfilled
and later regret not also pursuing a career. You CAN do both 100%.

Why aren't you talking about fathers on here? In the past fathers were
usually too busy with their careers to even see their kids or take
part in their care? Do you think that is normal or fair? These days
career dads also make sure they take part in their kids lives. That is
just as important as mothers doing so in many ways but you are only
talking about career WOMEN. It is my opinion both career women and men
need to prioritize their careers so that they are both involved in
child rearing.

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 6:07 pm, "jdeluise" <jdelu...@gmail.com> wrote:

> On 23-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > That is a stat that
> > can't be denied. I don't think most people are serial divorcees(that
> > by the way is a very sexist comment, are there not two people in a
> > marraige?)
>
> In English, "Divorcee" doesn't necessarily imply gender so it's not sexist.

> You're thinking of "divorc e"...

True, but somehow I don't think that is what he meant. I think he was
specifically referring to a certain gender. If I am wrong, I
apologize.

[Javier González]

Is "divorcee" a female noun? I didn't know. I thought it meant
"someone who divorced" with no gender attached.

Marriage at 18 a bad idea? Sure. But also this "50% divorce rate
stat"... get me five people, someone who has divorced four times, and
four people still married, and you have a population with a 50%
divorce rate.

[Javier González]

Hmpf! Not cool. It's not like I have a Hazelwood-esque history of
posting sexist/racist stuff, is it?

> If I am wrong, I
> apologize.

Accepted. Try not to do it again. :P

Now back to your usual scheduled tennis inanity.

[felangey]

>I agree... marry young and you are really, REALLY tossing the dice

with your life....

In the global sense, to a statistician, perhaps. Again though, I propose
that it is not your age that is the determining factor on the success for
your marriage. It is much more complicated than that, and for many many
individuals marrying young is the furthest thing from tossing the dice.

[jdeluise]

On 23-Sep-2011, Javier <jago...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Marriage at 18 a bad idea? Sure. But also this "50% divorce rate
> stat"... get me five people, someone who has divorced four times, and
> four people still married, and you have a population with a 50%
> divorce rate.

Yes, that definitely inflates a raw "50% divorce rate". I imagine those who
divorce once are also more likely to do it again (it's usually easier to do
something that you've done before).

[Court_1]

No you are incorrect. AGE is a determining factor plain and simple.
There is no interpretation to be found. Age IS a predictor of divorce.
With young age and immaturity comes a lot of other things you are
correct so it is more complicated, but at the end of the day AGE is a
predictor.

[Court_1]

Yes most people these days do not get married at 18 but Iamsaying most
who do end up unhappy later on.
This is a fact. I don't care whether you agree with it or not. These
days marrying too young is a general predictor of divorce. I am not
going to argue with you. I am talking in general terms and the divorce
stats do back that up.

Or let's take it a step further, in the past many people married at a
very young age as that was the thing to do. Over 50% and I say it
would be more like 60-70% of those people are divorced now. It is just
a statistic that you can't refute by saying some people who marry
young don't divorce. I agree but we are not talking about some people
we are talking about people in general.

Yes my judgement is that marrying too young is not smart IN GENERAL.
That is my judgement based on stats and what I have seen with my mom
and dad's generation.

[felangey]

>In life you had better get 3 choices right, if you possibly can! 1)
The choice of your educational path 2) The partner you take into your
life for the long term and 3) How you are going to contribute in this
world... get those right and you will go a LONG way to a good life,
for however long it lasts, wherever you may be...

2) imo is by far the most important - the others can be worked on. It is no
secret that some of the most succesful entrepreneurs are those with little
or no education...those with drive will find a means to sustenance,
education or none. As for how to contribute in the world....that is a hard
one these days. Increasingly it seems that everyone wants to take!

[Court_1]

*rolls eyes!*

[felangey]

>No you are incorrect. AGE is a determining factor plain and simple.
There is no interpretation to be found. Age IS a predictor of divorce.
With young age and immaturity comes a lot of other things you are
correct so it is more complicated, but at the end of the day AGE is a
predictor.

So age is a statistical predictor, so what? It does not logically follow
that you are "REALLY tossing the dice with your life" simply because of your
age. I could just as easily say that a shared sense of humour, good
education and mature outlook are a predictor of success in a young
marriage....only statistics can't measure stuff like that. So to say "you
are young ERGO you are throwing the dice" is very wrong in my opinion....it
is like I said much more complicated than that. Except in a global
statistical sense, of course.

[bob]

have you seen the statistics? :-)

bob

[bob]

i'm not judging here, not my place, in fact i don't have much opinion
on it, but how can you do both 100%? i.e., if you are working and have
a kid less than school age, where is that kid when you're at work? if
you were not working i know where he'd be - with his mom. just saying,
not judging recall.

>Why aren't you talking about fathers on here? In the past fathers were
>usually too busy with their careers to even see their kids or take
>part in their care? Do you think that is normal or fair? These days
>career dads also make sure they take part in their kids lives. That is
>just as important as mothers doing so in many ways but you are only
>talking about career WOMEN. It is my opinion both career women and men
>need to prioritize their careers so that they are both involved in
>child rearing.

so this is where your real opinion lies.

bob

[bob]

On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:53:15 -0700 (PDT), Court_1
<Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>On Sep 23, 7:43 am, bob <stein...@comcast.net> wrote:
>> On Thu, 22 Sep 2011 20:33:32 -0700 (PDT), Court_1
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>> >On Sep 22, 10:30 pm, "felangey" <th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:
>> >> >I meant to say the odds are against them
>>

>> >> Are they? I know the stats worldwide come in at roughly 50% survival rate
>> >> for marriage, but I have yet to see any major contributary statistics citing
>> >> people "being too young and not seeing enough people". It could well be
>> >> right, I don't know.....but I doubt that stats exist that explicitly support
>> >> that.

>>
>> >> >Berdych and Safarova have been dating for a long while and have
>>
>> >> unlikely had much chance to date anybody else being that they are
>> >> tennis pros dedicated to tennis, so yes, I think that is not the
>> >> smartest thing in the world and statistics back me up on that
>> >> regardless of whether you do or not.
>>

>> >> I am still not sure what you mean. They have been dating a long time, they
>> >> haven't dated many others....so you think it isn't the smartest thing and
>> >> statistics back you up? I'm confused! :) Obviously I am not saying it is
>> >> smart to stay together if you don't think a relationship is without a
>> >> future.....yet if they had been happy, why not stay together? Break up and
>> >> play the field a bit - before the statistics get you? ;)

>>
>> >> >Getting married very young is often a predictor for divorce along with many
>> >> >other things such as money issues, infidelity, etc. As I said I
>>
>> >> don't make up the rules. Stats exist for a reason.<
>>

>> >> So, your advice for a successful marriage is to not marry your
>> >> childhood/university sweetheart at least until you have played the field,
>> >> don't marry until you or your prospective spouse has lots of money etc? ;) I
>> >> am still wondering how young you think "young" is....just curious. It's my
>> >> experience that sharing the formative years of your life with someone can be
>> >> a wonderful thing to do, but I think it really seems to depend on the people
>> >> involved and the reasons for marriage etc. What I seem to see is that most

>> >> people I know who married young and had it last have very cool
>> >> relationships...a great understanding and rapport with each other...and

>> >> invariably a great sense of humour. Of those who have failed....almost all

>> >> my friends in that situation have gone on to have successful second
>> >> marriages. I don't know how much of that is down to a better partner

>> >> choice....or lowered/more informed expectations or what. Of course, you

>> >> could argue in their instance that they did in fact get married too
>> >> young....but on the other hand you could surmise that is would have taken
>> >> them the lessons of one failed marriage to get things right anyhow. Who
>> >> knows.
>>

>> >> >Are you from some small hick town? I am from a big city so maybe it is
>> >> >different
>>

>> >> I'm not sure if that is a slur or not :) but, I am from a fairly small town,
>> >> around 30k population....but many of those I speak of are from a city
>> >> university.
>>
>> >Oh my goodness marrying too young is one of the 5 most common
>> >predictors of divorce. I thought that was common knowledge. You are
>> >obviously not keeping up with the research in this area. Again, of
>> >course there are exceptions to this rule but in general marrying too
>> >young is a strong predictor of divorce.
>> >I am not saying you should play the field and break up with somebody
>> >if you are happy. Where did I ever say that? I only said that marrying
>> >too young and only having one relationship in your entire life before
>> >you marry is a predictor of divorce. Come on, keep up with the studies
>> >will you!  This has been well known for many years and has been in
>> >newspapers and all over the news for forever not to mention more
>> >detailed studies in psychology and family law.
>>
>> wow - how long do you give uly then? few more months before it kicks
>> in? as you say, she must be one dumb sonovagun staying all her life
>> with that high school sweetheart.
>>
>You are without question the biggest idiot on this newsgroup and you
>continue to prove that time and time again. STFU and learn how to
>read what a person posts properly.

you condemned Ulyses and her very life and i called you out on it. you
poor thing, gonna get bitch slapped now? awwwww. lmao.

bob

[bob]

>> > Berdych and Safarova have been dating for a long while and have
>> > unlikely had much chance to date anybody else being that they are
>> > tennis pros dedicated to tennis, so yes, I think that is not the
>> > smartest thing in the world and statistics back me up on that

>> > regardless of whether you do or not. Yes there are couples who date
>> > since they are teenagers and get married and end up happy but many do
>> > not. In either case, divorce rates are still over 50% but there are
>> > certainly things one can do to try and ensure longevity in a marriage.

>> > Getting married very young is often a predictor for divorce along with
>> > many other things such as money issues, infidelity, etc. As I said I
>> > don't make up the rules. Stats exist for a reason.
>>

>> > Are you from some small hick town? I am from a big city so maybe it is
>> > different
>>

>> I wonder how much of the skew in "marriages fail 50% of the time" is
>> caused by serial divorcees...
>>
>> /married young, 8 years ago
>> //still going strong

>> ///city boy all the way :)- Hide quoted text -

>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>

>I don't know but the divorce rate is 50% or over. That is a stat that

>can't be denied. I don't think most people are serial divorcees(that
>by the way is a very sexist comment, are there not two people in a
>marraige?)

sure. that's what your 4th husband said...

> I am only saying that marrying at age 18 for MOST people
>is not the smart way to go. It is a very general statement and one
>that can be backed up by stats.
>

>I am not talking about anything personally here. I am only talking in
>generalities.

bob

[bob]

On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 21:59:29 GMT, "jdeluise" <jdel...@gmail.com>
wrote:

my best friend married his high school sweetheart. about 25yrs and 3
kids later, both of them still happy as a lark. guess they don't know
Court1.

bob

[bob]

can you sleep at night knowing that court1 has condemned your marriage
and called you a dumbass? think of the bright side, she thinks you
ain't as stupid as Ulyses. lol.

if it were me, i'd take the wife out for a celebration cause court1's
opinion literally guarantees you'll be growing old and happy together.

bob

[bob]

On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 11:41:40 -0700 (PDT), drew <dr...@technologist.com>
wrote:

>On Sep 23, 7:14�am, bob <stein...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
>> it is a well known fact that drunken cheating abusive husbands are
>> almost as likely to get divorced as those who faithfully married their
>> high school sweetheart w/out 1st experimenting with the entire
>> cheerleading squad at at least 2 teachers. :-) lol.
>
>That's because the faithful husband who didn't experiment with the
>entire cheerleading squad and all of his French teachers....this guy
>happens to marry a drunken cheating abusive wife who experimented
>with the whole football team, basketball team and the cheerleading
>squad...(well known fact).. :-0

lucky bastard.

bob

[bob]

On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:43:26 -0700 (PDT), Court_1
<Olymp...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>On Sep 23, 7:10�am, bob <stein...@comcast.net> wrote:
>> On Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:24:25 -0700 (PDT), Court_1
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> >On Sep 22, 7:10 pm, "felangey" <th...@thisplace.invalid> wrote:
>> >> >No surprise there if that is true. Berdych and Safarova are very young

>>
>> >> and should not be expected to go out for eternity. Now is the time for
>> >> them to date a bunch of people. It would be stupid not to.<
>>
>> >> I don't follow? If they had been happy together, then they would still have
>> >> been stupid to not go and date a bunch of other people....because now is the
>> >> time?
>>
>> >Well obviously they were not too happy if they broke up no? People get
>> >into a routine in relationships. �What I am saying is they are both 25
>> >and young and have been going out since they were teenagers and if
>> >they were not happy, breaking up and dating other people is the smart

>> >thing to do. It is not usually the recommended thing to do to commit

>> >to somebody when you are very young and never have dated anybody else.
>>

>> ulyses has been with the same 1 guy since jr year high school - seems
>> to me you're *invalidating her entire life*, eh?

>>
>> >Do you know anything about marriage stats in the world?
>> >50% of marriages break up and just "one" of the many things that
>> >contribute to a divorce occurs when two people marry too young without
>> >dating others. I don't make up the stats. They are there for all to
>> >see.

>> >Are there people who beat the odds and marry very young and stay
>> >married? Sure, but the odds are
>>

>> bob- Hide quoted text -

>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>

>Don't be a fool Boob, I certainly am NOT invalidating Uly's life or
>anybody else's life. Learn how to read. I said that marrying too young
>is a predictor for divorce and I am talking in general terms. Don't be
>a dick.

you insult how puerto ricans look, insult people like felangey who
don't live in midsize canadian cities, people like ulyses for being
with 1 guy her entire life. that's what your posts say even though you
blame it on statistics. that's YOUR opinion, that's why you posted it.

you get quite judgmental about people's private choices and are
stating what you think is/isn't a good for them. let them decide
what's good for them.

bob

[Ulysses]

Well said, Bob.

And I agree with Courty that marrying young is a recipe for disaster.
Though I was with the same man since the age of 16, we did not marry
till the age of 29, which is still young. I tell my students not to
marry till 30 or above.

And in any case, Berdych is a world-class athlete, rich and quasi-
famous, so it's usually (though not always), suicide for someone in
that position to marry young. Roger married young, but it seems
evident his marriage to Mirka is healthy and happy.

[bob]

On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 18:08:56 -0700 (PDT), Ulysses <uly...@mscomm.com>
wrote:

>Well said, Bob.
>
>And I agree with Courty that marrying young is a recipe for disaster.
>Though I was with the same man since the age of 16, we did not marry
>till the age of 29, which is still young. I tell my students not to
>marry till 30 or above.

and if you married at 16.5, nothing would be different, so nobody like
court1 should be deciding for anybody else.

>And in any case, Berdych is a world-class athlete, rich and quasi-
>famous, so it's usually (though not always), suicide for someone in
>that position to marry young. Roger married young, but it seems
>evident his marriage to Mirka is healthy and happy.

fed's seems like a great marriage, which is why none of us should be
telling anyone else what age or circumstances are right for them.

bob

[Court_1]

> bob- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

You can do both successfully Bob. Until you have experienced it you
are not fit to comment on it. There are many people who do both
successfully. The important thing for a kid is to know both his/her
parents love him/her. If you accomplish that with a kid the kid will
go very far in life. Whether or not you choose to have a career as a
woman or a man has NOTHING to do with how well you love your
children.
I am just saying in this day and age it is important for both mothers
and fathers to be there equally for their children. This is my opinion
and I stick by that opinion.

[Court_1]

> bob- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I never condemned anybody on here let alone Uly. I only made a general
statement based on statistics. I have explained that many times and
Uly herself posted on here that she agrees with me that getting
married too young is generally not a good idea. So again I ask you to
STFU and don't post to me if you are going to post something stupid. I
won't answer you back. Don't misquote what I say.

[Court_1]

I am not talking about specific cases felangey! I am merely making a
general statement based on statistics. I am not trying to peer into
anybody else's life and say what he or she is doing is wrong. You are
misinterpreting my posts. My ONLY point is just to say that age is ONE
predictor and one predictor only of divorce. End of story. I am not
making a statement on the life of any one individual. Do you see the
difference? My statement is not meant in any way to be a personal
one about myself or anybody else. It is just a broad statement based
on stats. OY!

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 8:42 pm, bob <stein...@comcast.net> wrote:
> On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:51:30 -0700 (PDT), Court_1
>
>
>
>
>

> <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> bob- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

I have never been divorced Boob!

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 8:43 pm, bob <stein...@comcast.net> wrote:
> On Fri, 23 Sep 2011 21:59:29 GMT, "jdeluise" <jdelu...@gmail.com>

That is ONE case you stupid boob! I am not talking about isolated
cases, how many times do I have to post that? You know one or two
people or even 10 people who married at age 18 or so and are still
together and that makes you an authority on this issue? I am talking
about thousands of studies done in family law, psychology, etc. This
has been studied for years and years. I have also worked in the area
of family law so I have seen it myself you stupid boob. Now STFU.

[Court_1]

Thanks Uly. I knew you would see that I was generalizing based on
stats. My best friend has been with her husband since she was 18 or 19
years old. They are married now with two kids. They both have careers
and they both "seem" to be happy but they have their issues like
everybody else.

[Court_1]

It is not my opinion. Age is a predictor in divorce. That is a FACT!

[Court_1]

Felangey knows that I am generalizing and not pointing any fingers at
individuals because he is an intelligent poster unlike yourself.
Felangey and I may not agree on things but he is not a bully like you
are.

[Superdave]

I don't have any.

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 10:04 pm, Superdave <DaveHazelw...@remail-it.net> wrote:

> I don't have any.- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

Even the most happy marriages have some issue(s). They are just
workable issues.

[Superdave]

Not in my case. No issues at all. She's a Fed fan. ;))

[Court_1]

On Sep 23, 10:19 pm, Superdave <DaveHazelw...@remail-it.net> wrote:

> Not in my case. No issues at all. She's a Fed fan. ;))- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

If she were a Nadal fan then what? Now THAT would be an issue for
you I assume. :-)

[felangey]

>My ONLY point is just to say that age is ONE predictor and one predictor
>only of divorce. End of story. I am not making a statement on the life of
>any one individual. Do you see the difference? My statement is not meant
>in any way to be a personal one about myself or anybody else.

Well, to be fair, you did say some stuff that could be considered be
inflammatory.....things like it not being smart to get married too young
etc....and you nodded in agreement with PK when he said "you marry young and
you are really, REALLY tossing the dice with your life...". I have merely
stated the case that although this may be true on a global statistical
basis....on the ground in real life, people are capable of making a very
smart choice to marry young. Smart in the sense that they go into a
marriage, even at a young age, fully aware that they have met a partner for
life and that as a couple they are adaptable to all life can throw at them
with the emotional tools for the journey. They may not be in the majority
for their age demographic....but they very much exist. If you can accept
that and I think from the above that you do....then we have no quibble.

Personally speaking, I will again reiterate that I think the opportunity to
share with someone that magical time where you are in the final stage of
growing up....is a very special thing.

[Superdave]

That is simply too horrible a situation to even imagine.

[Court_1]

I agree with you that there is a special bond that occurs when two
people meet at a young age and stay together but I think that the
likelihood of that situation working out for MOST people in the long
run is unlikely based on the statistics and studies done. There are
always exceptions to everything. I would never say that what is good
for one person is good for another.

So no quibbles, just a little bit of a difference of opinion. :)

[drew]

On Sep 23, 6:15 pm, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:

The truth is many
> women who sacrifice their own independence and career are unfulfilled
> and later regret not also pursuing a career. You CAN do both 100%.

No. A career (not a 40 hour a week job) demands commitment outside of
regular hours. Women that I know who have 40 hour per week jobs have
a
hard enough time of it. They need assistance to care for their
children in the
form of babysitting, day care or a commited family member.

>
> Why aren't you talking about fathers on here? In the past fathers were
> usually too busy with their careers to even see their kids or take
> part in their care? Do you think that is normal or fair?

Normal and fair? Who are we kidding here? You decide before you
have children what your 'normal' is going to be. If that doesn't work
you
try a different normal. From my experience, raising children is
anything but
normal. It's fun, it's crazy, but I'm not sure normal is the right
word for it.

Now fair....there is an interesting concept. I would say that fair is
what you
consider fair when you sign on the dotted line. I know plenty of men
who would
be quite happy to leave the money-making to their wives and take on
the chores
of raising the children....why not? If it isn't fair for fathers to
spend all of their
time on the job....how on earth is it fair for BOTH father and mother
to spend
most of their time on the job and leave the raising of the children to
the nanny?

I'm talking fair to the children....and fair to both husband and
wife. Pretending
that you can work a career and raise children and give 100% to both is
a damned
lie. If you have to both work to make ends meet that's just the way
it has to be but
don't give me this bullshit about giving 100% to your career and your
children. That's
garbage and it DOES devalue motherhood. Being a mom and a homemaker
is a fulltime
job. When both husband and wife work fulltime there's a hell of a lot
of overtime that
has to be done to make up for what hasn't been done all day. If you
can afford a nanny
because you have well-paid jobs.....well, guess who's raising your
children....don't look
in the mirror cause it isn't you.

[jdeluise]

Question: Who the hell makes decisions of the heart based on
statistics like these???

[drew]

On Sep 23, 9:43 pm, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>
> You can do both successfully Bob. Until you have experienced it you
> are not fit to comment on it.

I experienced it as a child. My mom was too exhausted after work to
do
much of anything during the week. Dad worked as most fathers did.
I didn't feel unloved as a child...but the whole family thing didn't
look like
much fun at all for my parents. They looked like they were always
trying too
hard.

I wouldn't say that we suffered as children anymore than our parents
suffered. They
didn't enjoy raising us because they spent most of their energy
working. Of course
they couldn't afford a nanny like many career couples these days so it
was harder.

The idea that you can raise children full time and work full time has
to be wrong. There
are only so many hours in a day. You can't have everything. I laugh
when I see these frantic
moms trying to juggle a work life with a family and exercise class and
a social life. It looks
so desperate and the women look so harried. I wonder if they set a
timetable for sex with
the husband....."OK, dear, we have 10 minutes before my conference
call and your quality
hour with the children. Did you remember the viagra? I don't have
time for foreplay. Whip
it out and stick it in. I want an orgasm this time."

[drew]

On Sep 24, 12:07 am, jdeluise <jdelu...@gmail.com> wrote:

>
> Question: Who the hell makes decisions of the heart based on
> statistics like these???

Decisions of the heart? The successful career woman has no time for
such nonsense! The most important thing is that she has her career,
the respect of her peers, her independance and last (but of course
not least),
her family (including a husband, perhaps) just to complete the circle
of her
successful image.

[drew]

On Sep 23, 5:44 pm, Patrick Kehoe <pke...@telus.net> wrote:

> In life you had better get 3 choices right, if you possibly can! 1)
> The choice of your educational path 2) The partner you take into your
> life for the long term and 3) How you are going to contribute in this
> world... get those right and you will go a LONG way to a good life,
> for however long it lasts, wherever you may be...

I think these are all important choices but I would hasten to add that
it is never too late to change the path that you are on. Making
mistakes,
even very big mistakes is not always such a terrible thing if you are
not
afraid to dust yourself off and start again.

I am not a religious man but I thank God for giving me some second
chances in life....or perhaps I'm just thankful for the life I have.

[Javier González]

On Sep 23, 7:32 pm, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On Sep 23, 6:21 pm, Javier González <jagon...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Sep 23, 7:17 pm, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > On Sep 23, 6:07 pm, "jdeluise" <jdelu...@gmail.com> wrote:

>
> > > > On 23-Sep-2011, Court_1 <Olympia0...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > That is a stat that
> > > > > can't be denied. I don't think most people are serial divorcees(that
> > > > > by the way is a very sexist comment, are there not two people in a
> > > > > marraige?)
>

> > > > In English, "Divorcee" doesn't necessarily imply gender so it's not sexist.
> > > > You're thinking of "divorc e"...
>
> > > True, but somehow I don't think that is what he meant. I think he was
> > > specifically referring to a certain gender.
>
> > Hmpf! Not cool. It's not like I have a Hazelwood-esque history of
> > posting sexist/racist stuff, is it?
>
> > > If I am wrong, I
> > > apologize.
>
> > Accepted. Try not to do it again. :P
>
> > Now back to your usual scheduled tennis inanity.
>
> *rolls eyes!*

xD

[Patrick Kehoe]

Hopefully women are exercising the freedom to choose careers and not
being 'pushed' into anything... the primary caregivers role is a
difficult one no question... it's a vocation not a job... :))

a vocation without vacation and should always be valued...

P