RSS Off-topic Post of the Week
Ariel Mazzarelli
Sometimes one must escape the narrow confines of RSS. Other times, they just
waltz in through your door and drag you out for a bit of fresh air. For
whatever reason, it is clear that the salary here is just not high enough to
command full-time attention.
On top of that, on April 15 Prime Deportiva was installed on my local cable
loop. Among the games that I've seen were the live Barcelona culeadas by
Bayern and Atletico Madrid, which once again demonstrate that in futbol
nepotism must be handled with care and restraint--or if you prefer, it is
sometimes a good thing to throw out the baby with the D.T.'s bath water;
the UEFA semifinal games (ok these were on ESPN), several Libertadores games,
and even something called the Rugby World 12 or somesuch, a sort of
international superclub league which was pretty cool. Bite me envious ones.
I also managed to catch the opening match of the L.A. Galaxy. Of course the
organizational staff was severely incompetent, causing a sizable portion of
the crowd to find their seat only after half the game was finished (hassles
with parking, getting tix, and standing in line to enter). On the other hand,
the late arrivals were spared 45 minutes of absurdly poor futbol. I could not
even find the heart to start a hearty "Cobi sux" chant (although I did suggest
to the boy that he get a haircut, which amused some bystanders that glanced at
my ponytail).
I must admit however that Cobi made a good play when he scored his goal. I
suspect that a curl got stuck in his eyeball and improved his aim.
Incidentally I still have not been able to decide whether the stochastic
target selection passing technique was due to the usual motive, or whether it
was a brilliant Drillo tactic based on the observation that your odds as an
attacker were better if you received a pass from the opposing defender rather
than your teammate. Drillo is not returning my emails lately so we'll just
have to live with this doubt.
There was an excellent play by Campos in the second half. The New York
'Metros' (if they are that well hung btw it would explain their clumsy ball
handling) had brought another rousing sally to a close by crossing the ball
from the left side, about 45 meters out, to the opposite top corner of the
penalty area; a Galactico was standing there ready to return the favor when
Jorge stepped out saying
CORRETE PENDEJO
and proceeded to sprint down the field with a concerted effort by the Metros
to stay out of his way (except for a couple of midfielders whose defensive
technique justified the non-engagement heuristics of their teammates). For
some reason Jorge did not feel like dodging the last man and instead passed it
to an unmarked Galactico who proceeded to do a rugby thing with the pelota.
In the end, the best part of the game was the crowd. In the USA there is this
tradition that when you purchase your ticket it says "Row such Seat such" and
you proceed like a lemming to Row such Seat such no matter what. Although this
is nice in some ways, it is dreadful if your friend shows up out of the blue
and says "hey I'd like to go to the game too". That was our situation, but the
Galacticos came through with flying colors. Since the seating at the Rose Bowl
is on bleachers (i.e. long planks) rather than individual seats, one can slide
around and basically determine things on the fly. Some folks who showed up
after the game started were going to do the usher-fetch on this one, but the
seated folks always managed to talk them into finding a nearby seat (I must
emphasize that this was done far more courteosly than the
anal-retentive-I-paid-for-this-seat-and-I'm-getting-an-usher-dammit subtext
warranted). After a while, we were all one happy multi-lingual Riverside
Police-free family. I even saw a 12ish english-only girl ripping up a
newspaper into little bits and tossing it towards the field, which was a nice
contrast with Obberweltcuppenfuhrer Al's dictum in Foxboro '94 ("now kids get
out there on that field and pick up every piece of paper thrown by those
druggy Argentines").
After the game, there was an *excellent* fireworks show, complete with this
new (to me) non-linear projectile thingy... you know the usual firework
projectile that shoots up about a hundred meters as a single speck of light,
and then breaks up into a big ball--well this one did the same thing except
that the fragments spread out in helical rather than radial paths. It was very
cool. Oh and last but not least the crowd did the pitch invasion and vuelta
olimpica, and there was even a late entrant that used a big Mexican flag to
play toreador with a security guard.
Now in keeping with my subject line, let me offer you a post from another
newsgroup. It is rumoured that the following essay was written by a college
sophomore (that's 19 years old for those of you unfamiliar with USA edus).
Despite the vehemence of the poster from whom I stole this, I tend to believe
it is either brilliant or apocryphal, rather than "unwitting".
------
History, as we know, is always bias, because human beings have to be
studied by other human beings, not by independent observers of another
species. During the Middle Ages, everybody was middle-aged. Church
and state were co-operatic. Middle Evil society was made up of monks,
lords and surfs. After a revival of infantileries in the countryside.
Mideval people were violent. Murder during this period was nothing.
Everybody killed someone. England fought numerously for land in France
and ended up winning and losing. The Crusades were a series of
military expaditions made by Christians seeking to free the holy land
(the "home town" of Christ) from the Islams. Finally, Europe caught
the Black Death. The bubonic plague is a social disease in the sense
that it can be transmitted by intercourse and other etceteras. It was
spread from port to port by inflected rats. The plague also helped the
emergance of the English language as the national language of England,
France and Italy. The Middle Ages slimpared to a halt. The renasence
bolted in from the blue. Life reeked with joy. Italue of their human
being. Man was determined to civilise himself and his brothers, even if
heads had to roll! It became sheik to be educated. Europe was full of
incredable churches with great art bulging out their doors. renaissance
merchants were beautiful and almost lifelike. The Reformation happened
when German nobles resented the idea that tithes were going to Papal
France or the Pope thus enriching Catholic coiffures. An angry Martin
Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door. Theologically, Luthar was
into reorientation mutation. Calvinism was the most convenient
religion since the days of the ancients. The Popes, of course, were
usually Catholic. Monks went right on seeing themselves as worms. The
last Jesuit priest died in the 19th century. After the refirmation
were wars both foreign and infernal. Louis XIV became King of the Sun.
He gave the people food and artillery. If he didn't like someone, he
sent them to the gallows to row for the rest of their lives. The
enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire wrote a book called
Candy that got him into trouble with Frederick the Great. Philosophers
were unknown yet and the fundamental stake was one of religious
toleration slightly confused with defeatism. The French revolution was
accomplished before it happened. The revolution evolved through
monarchial, republican and tolarian phases until it catapulted into
Napolean. Great Brittian, the USA and other Europeans countrys had
demicratic leanings. The middle class was tired and needed a rest.
The old order could see the lid holding down new ideas beginning to
shake. Among the goals of the chartists were universal suferage and an
anal parliament. Voting was to be done by ballad. A new time zone of
national unification roared over the horizon. Nationalism aided Itally
because nationalism is the growth of an army. Here, too, was the new
Germany: Loud, bold, vulgar and full of reality. Culture formented
from Europe's tip to its top. Wagner was master of music and people
did not forget his contribution. Other countries had their own
artists. France had Chekov. World War I broke out around 1912-1914.
Germany was on one side of France and Russia was on the other. At war
people get killed and then they aren't people any more, but friends.
Peace was proclaimed at Versigh, which was attended by George Loid,
Primal Minster of England. President Wilson arrived with 14 pointers.
In 1937 Lenin revolted Russia. Communism raged among the peasants, and
the civil war "team colours" were red and white. Germany was displaced
after WWI. This gave rise to Hitler. Germany was morbidly overexcited
and unbalanced. Berlin became the decadent capital, where all sorts of
sexual deprivations were practised. A huge anti-Semantig movement
arose. Germany invaded Pland, France invaded Belgium and Russia
invaded everybody. War screeched to an end when a nukuleer explosion
was dropped on Heroshima. A whole generation had been wipe out.
According to Fromm, individuation began historically in mediaeval
times. This was a period of small childhood. There is increasing
experience as adolescence experiences its life development. The last
stage is us.
------
May your life reek with joy,
Ariel