Ausfailure Fails In Four Nations, Again
Bluey Crackersport
After spending the last week lobbying for an Ausfailure referee to
help the underpowered Kangalose get a leg up in this weekends Four
Nations Final the RLB has appointed a New Zealand referee to control
the game.
The final will decide which team out of England and Ausfailure can
earn bragging rights to being Not Quite Good Enough But Still Second
Best to the New Zealand World Champions.
The New Zealand rugby league referee Leon Williamson has been handed
the biggest appointment of his career following confirmation he will
control Sunday's Four Nations final between England and Australia at
Elland Road in Leeds.
The Aucklander was in charge of two matches during the preliminary
phase of the month-long tournament - the opening game between England
and France in Doncaster and last Saturday's encounter between France
and Australia in Paris.
The NZRL's chief executive Jim Doyle says it's a breakthrough
appointment for a New Zealand referee as they seldom feature in
appointments for big games.
Ausfailure are gutted by the news.
"We have failed yet again" said a spokesmoron for the Kangalose.
"We were so sure that one of our own sub standard referees would
control the game that we clean forgot to whinge about his great
refereeing throughout the tournament proper" said a source from within
Ausfailure's camp at Loserpool.
Ausfailure has spent so much time whinging throughout the tournament
that they have not had time to prepare the team.
"Whinging takes a lot of time and energy and that has made us really
tired. Plus all the group sex has worn us down on the hole as well" a
source told this source.
Ausfailure are favorites to win the final, as they were in 2005, 2006
and 2008.
"Hopefully this time we will actually come up with the result instead
of failing again" said a loser.
Meanwhile New Zealand has admitted that their shock early withdrawal
from the tournament has resulted in a huge increase in profits due to
them.
NZRL financial controller Alex Hayton said that while the Kiwis would
walk away with just �25,000 ($57,696) in prize money an
England-Australia decider would mean a bonanza for New Zealand.
The Kiwis will also save travel and accommodation costs.
"In the end, the prize money is a very small component of the overall
financial picture," Hayton said in Leeds.
"The partners split the overall profits. England qualifying for the
final makes it more likely that there is a full house.
The comments fueled speculation in Ausfailure that New Zealand tanked
the match out witting the Aussies yet again.
"It's proven impossible to beat New Zealand on the footy field but to
see them gloating about making a fortune by not playing feels like a
raw pineapple sliding up my out door to me" said one fan who lost his
house betting on Ausfailure to beat New Zealand in the final.
Bluey Crackersport
Ausfailure's Number 1 Sports Reporter
www.crackersport.com