Ausfailure's One Match Winning Streak Ends
Bluey Crackersport
When the Wallaby's returned from losing their 7th successive ruggeroid
match to the male model packed team of poofters from New Zealand they
looked forward to a grand slam tour of Great Britain.
Laughable.
They shocked the world by beating England last weekend in an historic
match.
Anytime Ausfailure wins is historic.
"Losing in England is a tradition of ours" said a ruggeroid, "so when
we actually won here we wept tears of pride for days" he sobbed.
But Ausfailure's win proved a fluke as they failed to beat the lowly
Ireland ruggeroids on the weekend.
The result catapulted Ireland above Ausfailure in the ruggeroid
rankings.
Ausfailure were leading at half time but choked in the second half.
Australia missed a chance to extend its lead at the start of the
second half when Matt Giteau failed to convert a straight-forward
penalty opportunity.
"What a boofhead" claimed a bitter and twisted fan.
The loss caps off an appalling week of disappointments for Ausfailure
after their rugby league team failed to beat New Zealand for the
fourth time in as many finals and ex pat New Zealander Tiger Woods
claiming another Kiwi victory in the Ausfailure Golf Open.
Woods gave full credit to the win to his Kiwi caddy again.
Greg Norman was leading by 13 shots going up to the last hole but
choked putting for an eagle.
And just to rub it in New Zealand's effeminate ruggeroids beat Italy
in their match on the weekend which Ausfailure's Soccerlose failed to
do when losing badly in the recent Soccer World Cup.
In other news reports indicate that the Dutch designed boat that won
the America's Cup for Ausfailure last century was based on the design
of the clog.
"The clog is a brilliant design" said Nathan Van Fein of the Holland
based design team which helped Ausfailure win the Cup.
"And unlike the sh!tbox they took to San Diego, it floats" he said.
Ausfailure II snapped in half and sank during it's final race of the
regatta in San Diego which Ausfailure lost 6 - 0 to New Zealand.
America's Cup organisers are said to be undecided on whether to strip
Ausfailure of it's one and only America's Cup win after it was
discovered that the boat used was built outside of the rules but
Ausfailure has argued that the rules shouldn't apply to them as they
have never been good enough to win anything within the rules.
Cup organisers dismissed this argument but have hinted they may take
pity on Ausfailure and allow them to pretend their Cup victory was
valid to promote the mental health of Ausfailure depression racked
sports fans.
And good news at last for Ausfailure's long suffering cricket fans.
Ricky Ponting has announced he wants to become the only Aussie cricket
captain ever to have lost the ashes three times.
Ponting said today that he was 'as keen as a flys around dogsh!t' to
lead Ausfailure to yet another Ashes humiliation.
"I've done it twice now and I'm on a hat trick" Ponting said.
The ACB failed to cover up the Ashes losses.
Bluey Crackersport
Ausfailure's Number 1 Sports Reporter
www.crackersport.com
