How can I help my friend?

[]v[etaphoid]

I have a freind - let's call him Henry John - who seems forever to be
on the end of bad luck.

Since his physical appearance and lack of a filter make his oestensibly
unemployable, he has taken to being a Lyft driver (it's like Uber
except with less strenuous checks for drivers).

His common problem is that his poor ratings means he finds it difficult
to attract sufficient customs to pay the bills. Since most Lyft drivers
do it as a means to supplement their existing incomes, those relying on
it as their sole source of funds need to compete with many other
drivers for fares, especially when Lyft run bonuses providing extra
inducements for drivers to be on the road.

Lamentably, his taste for offensive music and wanton capacity to say
stupid things to or in front of paying customers means that Lyft will
always preference drivers with better feedback and he is too stupid to
sit still in his car or home waiting for a fare. Instead he drives
around in circles wasting gas and wearing down his dilapidated vehicle
whilst preaching to facebook about how much it sucks to be him.

How can I help my fellow man?

[]v[etaphoid]

Tommy presented the following explanation :

> Roll him a fatty and send him to the beach.

That makes sense in principle, but beaches are in short supply in Salt
Lake City and his tastes in fatties is a little different to most.

If we could just convince him to stop accepting pubes in lieu of
payment, I'm sure we'll be able to help him get his teeth fixed and his
guitars back out of hock...

[madeforz...@yahoo.com]

On Saturday, August 18, 2018 at 7:19:53 PM UTC-4, ]v[etaphoid wrote:
> I have a freind - let's call him Henry John - who seems forever to be
> on the end of bad luck.
>
> Since his physical appearance and lack of a filter make his oestensibly
> unemployable, he has taken to being a Lyft driver (it's like Uber
> except with less strenuous checks for drivers).
>
> His common problem is that his poor ratings means he finds it difficult
> to attract sufficient customs to pay the bills.

Would YOU want John to drive you around? Christ, it'd be like dying and going to Hell with your eternal punishment.

[]v[etaphoid]

Tommy wrote :

> Salt Lake City? Is he one of those kiddy diddling Mormons?

Is there any other kind?

[]v[etaphoid]

Tommy explained :

> You would think his food stamp, welfare cheese eating, on parole
> dumbass would move to a nicer place.

I hear that Vermont is lovely this time of year.

Heaven knows, it's where all of the other unemployed sociopaths from
Salt Lake City buy mutiple properties and move to. Apparently...

[Cujo DeSockpuppet]

]v[etaphoid <m...@phoid.con> wrote in news:po6kbo$ejv$1...@dont-email.me:

Has he gone native and bought an electric car yet?

--
Cujo - The Official Overseer of Kooks and Trolls in dfw.*,
alt.paranormal, alt.astrology and alt.astrology.metapsych. Supreme Holy
Overlord of alt.fucknozzles. Winner of the 8/2000, 2/2003 & 4/2007 HL&S
award. July 2005 Hammer of Thor. Winning Trainer - Barbara Woodhouse
Memorial Dog Whistle - 12/2005 & 4/2008. COOSN-266-06-01895.
"I haven't been refuted, defeated, or even minimalized yet, I have been
called names and attempts have been made to redefine my 50 years of
brilliance because of the envy of my lesser harassers, that's all."
- 47YO Ed "Pantyhead" Wollmann still can't count.

[%]

its not like the one you drive though

[]v[etaphoid]

Cujo DeSockpuppet pretended :

He's half way there.

He sold his gas-guzzling Hyundai and is currently between cars.

He is an eco-warrior of the highest order, is our Awesome Chad...