For those of you who do not wish to read this rather expansive usage of
net.bandwidth, as well as the stark raving mad rantings which I feel I
have to get off my chest, please hit 'n' now.  In fact, I will even
provide a control-L for your convienence.  For those who don't mind
being offended, or want a good laugh, or want something to think about,
please continue on.

Okay.  First, let me say something.  It is 73 degrees Fahrenheit right
now in Anchorage, Alaska.  I lived 8 years of my life in Fairbanks,
Alaska.  I am used to cold weather and dry air.  Having said that, IT IS
TERRIBLY FUCKING HOT AND HUMID RIGHT NOW!!!!!!  Okay, I got that off my
chest.

Right now, I just felt like posting something which may or may not be of
potential worth to the net.  But let me give you the qualifications for
this post.  I have been very tired all day now.  This afternoon, I ran
into some friends who were sitting around finishing off a case of beer.
They invited me to join in, and I had three beers.  Now, for the benefit
of Eric and Byron and anyone else who is curious as to my drinking
habits, please note the following.  I AM NOT DRUNK!!!!  Three beers was
enough to give me a moderate buzz for about an hour.  But I did not get
drunk.  Especially when you consider that it was piss-water Budweiser.
But, it did not cost me anything, so what the hell.  However, I did say
I was tired.  The aftermath of all of this is that I am even more tired
than before.  And when I am tired, things run through my mind.  At the
present, I am collecting various thoughts in the hopes that I can
remember them all by the time that it is time to type them into this
document.  But like I said, things are running through my mind.  So why
not post them, I said to myself?  Why not.  So, I picked a number of
groups that I felt would be appropriate, and even some that aren't.  
What the hell.  For those of you reading this in r.s.p-w, if you recall,
I stated a while back that extreme tiredness is a condition where I
start to have no problems about posting weird/offensive/inappropriate
stuff on the net.  The other has to do with being under the influence of
a chemical substance, but I am not drunk (see above), so that doesn't
count.  But for r.s.p-w'ers, it probably wouldn't hurt to take a good
look at the way I think, anyway.  But enough of that, let's get to the
subject of this post.

At various points in time, there have been threads in ua.flame
concerning my attitude towards marriage.  The people initiating these
threads have used stronger language to describe this attitude than I
ever would, but that's their prerogative.  But basically, I wanted to
put it all into terms that would be understood by anyone on the net who
might care about any of this.  Basically, I am 24 years old, and have
been in my share of interpersonal relationships, but have never held a
desire to engage in the ritual of marriage.  I won't get into the
reasoning I have used to describe this attitude before, but I will
describe it in terms not used by me before, terms that may break the
situation down into terms of the utmost simplicity.  Here is a scenario
that I envision, given the way that marriages go today, that could have
happened to me at anytime in my life had I chosen to adopt a "normal"
mode of thinking towards life:

(This may really offend you, so I am providing 2 control-Ls in case you
really want to bail out at this point)

I meet a girl at Chilkoot's.  I take her home.  I end up fucking her
every night for a month straight.  Somewhere along the line, she asks me
to marry her.  I agree.  Before too long, the wedding is held.  Later
that night, I fuck her again, this time not using a condom.  She gets
pregnant.  Life goes on, but as time goes by, the relationship badly
deteriorates.  Later on, the baby is born.  Things get worse and worse
in the following months.  Before too long, she asks for a divorce.  The
divorce is granted soon after.  And I end up working some ridiculous job
that I have absolutely no desire working simply because I have to pay
her to raise my kid.

Now obviously, that isn't the only such scenario.  But that is the one
that was running through my mind at various points in time this
afternoon, and increased in intensity as the day wore on.  I could think
of a couple other scenarios, actually, but after a while they would all
end up looking and sounding the same.  So, let's switch to real life for
a second:

1)  When I was 17, my girlfriend (who was 19) asked me to marry her.  I
didn't feel ready for marriage at that point, so I said no.  I suspect
that my response is what led to us breaking up soon after, but that's
beside the point.  If I had said yes, it would have been more than
likely that a kid would have been soon to follow.  And I can just see it
now.  Here I am, with a 6 year old in tow.  I am told by the state
Division of Family & Youth Services, the Anchorage Police Department and
the Anchorage School District variations of a story that translates into
real-life terms the following: "We own this kid, we're just allowing you
to bear the expense of raising him.  But you will raise him according to
the guidelines we have set forth."  You get the picture.  I have a 3
year old half-brother who already has a Socialist Security Number.  My,
what a fascist world we have graduated to.

2)  My dad is currently on his 4th marriage.  Believe me, this is
certainly one of the things that has turned me off to marriage, that
being the inevitability of divorce.  If I do get married, the thought of
eventually ending up getting older and searching for a second wife is
holding me back from any thoughts of wanting to search for a first wife
at the present time.

Anyhow, if all of this is a hell of a lot more than you ever anticipated
wanting or needing to see, then flame me.  If you found it of value in
your life, send large cash contributions to the snail address you see in
my .sig and I might write more.  Alcohol-related flames to alt.beer or
sci.homebrew, whichever one your admin doesn't throw into junk on your
site.

***************************************************************
Sean Patrick Ryan                       Bitnet:  FSSPR@ALASKA
Internet:  fs...@acad3.alaska.edu    On IRC:  RadioKAOS
Snail:  P.O. Box 240554, Anchorage, AK  99524-0554

"Hey man, we're just sitting around drinking a few beers.  If we
had intended to get drunk, we would have bought a hell of a lot
more than just a case."  -  Allen "Bobo" Raymond