KORSPW 2007 - Your current and Future King speaks out.

[King [R]etro]

It's been only a matter of days since Lvubun announced that he would
be running KORSPW 2007 in 2 weeks. The list of participants haven't
even been revealed yet and already the mass birth control advert that
is RSPW has whipped itself into a frenzy, and those people desperate
to win are already making their "Opening Promos" in an effort to win
votes. And while some have decried it (mainly through bitterness) I
think it is safe to say that most of you are looking forward to seeing
just what the group will come up with this year. It's an entertaining
and fun time in RSPW, and I hope this year will not disappoint.

It is clear however that the very nature of the contest has shifted in
the last couple of years, no longer about your posting history or your
contributions to the group. It has become very much a 'what have you
done for me lately' type talent contest. It may as well be called RSPW
Idol for the amount of creativity and effort required to sway the
popular vote, believe me I know. Last year I destroyed the first CD I
ever bought, injured body parts, ate cold beans and sang love songs
all in name of entertainment. And it did the trick, making me your
current reigning champion, and also (I think, but correct me if I'm
wrong) the highest seed to ever win the title. It also proves my
point, because my contribution to RSPW up to that point had been
sparse, and hell lets face it has continued to be sparse.

To the contestants, entrants, combatants in this years event I have
some advice to you. Step it up, and keep stepping it up. 'Cutting a
promo' in the newsgroup will get you nothing, and do you no good. It's
old hat, people are bored by it. Want to do it on a camera and put it
on youtube? It's old hat, people are bored by it. You need to come to
the table with something creative, something entertaining and
something well thought out.

Is there still life in the newsgroup promo? None at all. Is there
still life in the video promo? Oh hell yes there is. There hasn't been
that definitive killer promo which I know is out there in one of us.
There's still a lot to be done if anyone has a camera which isn't
attached to their PC and can shoot a good picture. (Which this year I
will be putting to good use). Just be aware that a good promo will get
you through a round, but only a round. It takes sustained effort to
keep advancing once you're past the jobbers. And if you are a jobber?
Then you've got a hell of a job ahead of you.

C the Shocker has already made a bold prediction, stating he will
become a two-time winner. C has suffered an identity crisis this past
year, ditching his Shocker moniker in favour of a more reality based
name. After a few months of fairly low-standard posting he then
returned to the Shocker name, proclaiming it as the return of a
legend, rather than admission of a failed gimmick change. Last year
in the tournament C the Shocker took part in the 'promo war' but was
uninspiring. The promo had the wrong effect, with people more
impressed with his resemblence to Peter Griffin than his actual
words. I'm not sure how Chris can raise the bar this year, he's
obviously a family man, and more advanced in years than most of us so
he can't really do much to put his health at risk. Well, more than he
already is. He's got his work cut out, and I just can't see him
pulling it off.

Jeff is reverting to yappy bitch mode again, promising to raise the
bar this year. Given that his bar last year was so low an any couldn't
limbo under it this really isn't a hard task. Jeff claims to have
invented the video promo, sadly forgetting the infamous JH 'blading'
video from the year before and claiming that he 'never saw it'. It's a
denial that makes him seem slightly deluded of his own worth. Jeff
produced a series of vignettes (which given the length is all that
they could be classed as), showing himself performing various 'stunts'
such as wrestling his dog, trying to drink a gallon of milk and eating
a bar of soap. Such actions while at first bringing him adulation
from some quarters soon became boring and contrived due to a lack of
creativity and also sound. Jeff fell by the way side and to this day
remains just a tab bitter about it.
Jeff however is one person who could defnitely take things to another
level this year. If he invests in a microphone he could really lift
his game although having heard him on xbox live it's doubtful.

I'm ready for KORSPW2007, and I'm ready to raise the stakes once
again. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing yet, but I'm prepared to
have fun like I did last year and try to entertain you all along the
way. While it would be great to win back to back titles it's not
crucial to me, I just want to enjoy the ride and hope you do too.

Vote for Retro in 2007. Only if you want to though.

[Double T]

"King [R]etro" <bristep...@aol.com> wrote in
news:1173261687....@j27g2000cwj.googlegroups.com:

you have my vote as long as you dont post a video of you playing the
best of aqua on a kazoo wedged in your asscheeks.

[King [R]etro]

On Mar 7, 10:45 am, Double T <Dub...@mwo.com> wrote:

> best of aqua on a kazoo wedged in your asscheeks.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

shit. That was my closer!

[Torrey M. Spears]

<snip>

... what?

-- TMS
Once and Future King was my 2006 gimmick - nice originality.
Didn't get me out of the second round.

[King [R]etro]

Whereas I went onto win.

Slight difference anyway, "current" as opposed to "once" but I take
your point. I would say however that your other gimmick last year was
to call yourself the million dollar champion so you can't stand on a
soapbox about originality. Nothing is original anymore brah. Also
that wasn't a promo, that was just a pre-tournament statement from the
reigning champ. As the song goes, we've only just begun...

BTW I thought you should have gone further though last year, you put a
good effort in.

BTW BTW I forgot to say at the time but congrats on Miss TMS v1

[C The Shocker]

On Mar 7, 2:01 am, "King [R]etro" <bristephens...@aol.com> wrote:
> C the Shocker has already made a bold prediction, stating he will
> become a two-time winner. C has suffered an identity crisis this past
> year, ditching his Shocker moniker in favour of a more reality based
> name. After a few months of fairly low-standard posting he then
> returned to the Shocker name, proclaiming it as the return of a
> legend, rather than admission of a failed gimmick change. Last year
> in the tournament C the Shocker took part in the 'promo war' but was
> uninspiring. The promo had the wrong effect, with people more
> impressed with his resemblence to Peter Griffin than his actual
> words. I'm not sure how Chris can raise the bar this year, he's
> obviously a family man, and more advanced in years than most of us so
> he can't really do much to put his health at risk. Well, more than he
> already is. He's got his work cut out, and I just can't see him
> pulling it off.

I agree that it's going to be a tough road for me to blaze this year,
trying to juggle my real-life responsibilities with raising the stakes
in an increasingly difficult KoRSPW. However, I have some ideas (none
of them life-threatening) that I believe that RSPW will mark for, and
no matter what happens, I'll be able to say that I gave it my best
shot. While I don't consider myself an RSPW legend on par with 2X,
Poot, and FunkyM (who I ironically beat for the 2005 title), I still
have enough left in the tank to take out a recently diluted RSPW field
of jobbers, has-beens, and never-was's. Three words: bring it on.

-
C The Shocker
The Rebirth of Slick. Back by popular demand.
RSPW and RSFC's most dangerous poster.

[King [R]etro]

I really hope we get to meet up in this thing. There's potential there
which would be wasted otherwise.

[Caca Suave]

I've officially retired from future korspw tournaments. If my name is
involved I want it out. I have proven how great I am from post after
post for years to current day today.

If I am added to this I will just end up passing it on to someone
else...

In all of your minds you already know I am the King.

[King [R]etro]

> In all of your minds you already know I am the King.- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

Stop spitting your dummy out of the pram and take part.

[King [R]etro]

On Mar 7, 3:54 pm, "Caca Suave" <jeffh_102...@yahoo.com> wrote:

[KING Caca Suave]

I don't need someone to rub my ego by a vote. I already know I am the
true king.

[Torrey M. Spears]

On Mar 7, 7:10 am, "King [R]etro" <bristephens...@aol.com> wrote:
> On Mar 7, 11:55 am, "Torrey M. Spears" <nwophoe...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > <snip>
>
> > ... what?
>
> > -- TMS
> > Once and Future King was my 2006 gimmick - nice originality.
> > Didn't get me out of the second round.
>
> Whereas I went onto win.

touche'.

>
> Slight difference anyway, "current" as opposed to "once" but I take
> your point. I would say however that your other gimmick last year was
> to call yourself the million dollar champion so you can't stand on a
> soapbox about originality. Nothing is original anymore brah.

Also noted. But seeing is how I'm the RSPW perpetual bridesmaid ... I
figger I'll just crown myself and continue to the president of the fan
club of one.

Also
> that wasn't a promo, that was just a pre-tournament statement from the
> reigning champ. As the song goes, we've only just begun...

Should be an interesting dance.

>
> BTW I thought you should have gone further though last year, you put a
> good effort in.

I should have, you're right. The Inc/TMS feud - vote results was the
closest in the history of our sport.
I expect to be ranked alot higher this year - being that I think I'm
the only black Republican in RSPW -- originality alone should put me
in the top bracket, plus I like to think I "bring it" with every
post. And JSlater is my #1 fan.

>
> BTW BTW I forgot to say at the time but congrats on Miss TMS v1

Thanks. She's doing well. She will be herein known as the "Thousand
dollar princess" - because who are we kidding - me? a million dollar
anything??

[Rockboy]

Aw man, I'm not going to read all that.

--
Rockboy

Stop pretending you're so good
Stop assuming that I would

[FunkyM]

On Mar 7, 11:05 pm, Rockboy <rock...@rockboy.net> wrote:

> King [R]etro wrote:
>
> Aw man, I'm not going to read all that.

> > 'Cutting a

> > promo' in the newsgroup will get you nothing, and do you no good. It's
> > old hat, people are bored by it.

Kind of funny he would say this in that post.

[trippy]

In article <1173261687....@j27g2000cwj.googlegroups.com>, King
[R]etro took the hamburger meat, threw it on the grill, and I said "Oh
Wow"...

This promo was better than anything you did last year. Props.

--
trippy
mhm31x9 Smeeter#29 WSD#30
sTaRShInE_mOOnBeAm aT HoTmAil dOt CoM

NP: "I Ain't Drunk, I'm Just Drinkin'" -- Wrathchild America

"Now, technology's getting better all the time and that's fine,
but most of the time all you need is a stick of gum, a pocketknife,
and a smile."

-- Robert Redford "Spy Game"

[夜クローラー]

> Once and Future King was my 2006 gimmick - nice originality.
> Didn't get me out of the second round.
>

Yeah but Retro is actually British so he can play Arthur more convincingly.

--
NiGHTS [mWo]
3rd Shittiest Shitbag in RSPW (2006)

nights22.livejournal.com
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