[REVISED EDITION] REGAL RUMBLE - THE WEAKEST LINK
FunkyM
Aztec Arena, Mexcio City, Mexico
Announcers: Ripclawe, Luvbun, Bob "Hey" Barnett
[Scene: The English Villiage, Lake Havasu, Arizona.
RSPWECW/RSPWWCW simulcast.]
FunkyM: Hey, brother. FunkyM has the most fantastic news.
FunkyM knows our federation is near worthless. But FunkyM
got some dope to buy into it. And FunkyM sold 51% of RSPWECW
to them.
Allan: Chris. Who did you sell RSPWECW to.
FunkyM: I sold it to WCW!!!! ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL!!!
Allan: Chris, don't you realize that WWF bought WCW?
FunkyM: Huh?
Allan: And now, since WCW owns RSPWECW, that means
that Vince McMahon owns RSPWECW. And who is the
daughter in law of Vince McMahon? Liz Michael!!!!
FunkyM: SAY WHAT?
Allan: YOU JUST SOLD OFF OUR COMPANY TO LIZ MICHAEL'S INLAWS!!!
FunkyM: Oh. Oh. Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, shit!!!!
Allan: Don't worry, there's an easy way to get around this!
We'll just have a match tonight! You vs. Liz for control
of RSPWECW!!
FunkyM: Brilliant!! Why didn't FunkyM think of that?!
Allan: Obviously, you were a victim of hack writing. Don't
worry, it happens all the time. Well... once every 9 months
when one of these RSPW feds get posted, anyway. See? It's
even happening right now!
FunkyM: Thanks, brah! And you know what else happens once
every 9 months??
Allan: What?!?
FunkyM: All FunkyM wants to do is.... DANCE..... DANCE....
DANCE!!!!!
[A glitter ball lowers from the ceiling as "Any Way You
Want It" by Journey starts to blast!]
-----
[Scene: Mexico City where Barnett is taking a seat
at the announce table surrounded by $50/night Mexican
"models."]
Ripclawe: Welcome everybody to another 'l33t edition
of RSPWECW h3@t!!!
[Ripclawe's voice echoes back. Suddenly he notices the
arena is completely empty...]
Luvbun: Guess that's what we get for schedualling Tehawk
vs. Alex Cain as the dark match... oy!!
Luvbun: How about that HUGE announcement at the top of
the show that RSPWWCW bought RSPWECW?
Ripclawe: Liz claims she bought RSPWECW but in reality,
I think everybody will admit RSPWECW has 0wn3d her for
years! Nyuck, nyuck!
Barnett: By the way, FunkyM vs. Liz was also a dark
match and FunkyM kicked her nuts and stunnered her
to retain ownership of RSPWECW!
Ripclawe: No folks, you eyes aren't deceiving you!
RSPWECW is back! At least until we run out of ideas...
[TV signal cuts out.]
Ripclawe: No! No! I mean AFTER we spam RSPW with another
40KB of this shit!
Luvbun: Hulka Maniac is now a 4-time RSPWECW World
champion! Maybe he should be banned from these kinds
of competitions, cause he always wins!
[Space Lord - Monster Magnet]
Ripclawe: We might hear something about that right now,
cause here come the RSPWECW tag team champions... UA
leader ILOVEUWxx and ultimatesn!!!
ILOVEUWxx: HULKA BRAH, IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS SINCE YOUR
TREMEND VICTORY AT WRESTLEINSANEIA BUT YOU ARE LIVING
A LIE, BRAH!!
Ripclawe: Huh?? What's he talking about?!
ILOVEUWxx: THAT'S RIGHT, BRAH! TIME TO COME OUT AND HAND
THE 2xER THAT WORLD TITLE OF YOURS JUST LIKE YOU HANDED
HIM YOUR KING OF RSPW CROWN!!!
Luvbun: The jury's still out on that, 2x!!
[God Save The Queen - Sex Pistols]
Ripclawe: It's the new RSPWECW Commissioner, ViNNY! Now
we might start to get some answers!!
ViNNY: All I can say is... bloody hell!!! Who do you think
you are?! Nobody's going to be handing over the RSPWECW
World title on my watch and if you even bloody THINK about
doing that finger poke of doom bullocks, I will personally
suspend both of you hooligans as you so colourfully say
"4 lyfe!!"
ultimatesn: You talk funny! [with 2x] HAW HAW HAW HAW!
ILOVEUWxx: ALRIGHTY THEN BRAH, SIGN ME UP FOR A MATCH WITH
HULKA! I'LL TAKE HIS TITLE THE OL'FASHIONED WAY!
ViNNY: I will most certainly not! And please, don't even
even hint that you and I are related... you... you...
TROGLODYTE!!!
ILOVEUWxx [shrieking]: sn, BRAH! DID YOU HEAR THAT??!
YOU RACIST PIG!!!
ViNNY: But we're the same colour...
ILOVEUWxx: BACK TO MEHICO WITH YOU! MAYBE TACOHAWK CAN
GIVE YOU A RIDE IN HIS JALOPY! THERE MIGHT BE ROOM IN
THE TRUNK WITH HIS 18 SISTERS!!
ViNNY: Listen, my knuckle dragging friend! If anyone
deserves a title shot tonight it is the man who was
screwed out of the title three days ago...
Ripclawe: Yeah! Darien Allen!
ViNNY: ...my good friend, Chad Bryant!!!
Ripclawe: WHA!!!
ViNNY: Yes, Chad Bryant will get a shot at the RSPWECW
World title tonight! You, my dear fellow, will wallow
around in the prelims where you belong! Better get ready
because you're in the opening match tonight!!
Ripclawe: 2x is going to wrestling one on one... NEXT!!!
-----
RSPW Don't Try This At Home commercial:
[Still visuals on the RSPW superstars with voiceovers.]
Joe Sixpack: The life....
Public Anonymous: Of a RSPW troller....
Hindu Squat: Is frought with mediocrity....
Danger3210: I've been repetative in public....
Rob Cypher: Repetative...
Diamond David Chance: Made fun of the WWF....
Don Martin: I've been slapping lemmings for heat....
D'stat: Marking for jobbers...
Hulka Poet: I ripped off good gimmicks poorly, brah....
Promotion Killah Eddy Mac: Lost my gimmick....
Alex Cain: Got obsessed....
Avenger: Got obsessed like a mofo...
Liz Michael: Damn near lost all my heat....
Pete Panaro: Almost took the newsgroup seriously...
Incubus: Lost my heat, lost my gimmick....
The Doc: Lost my heat....
Chad Bryant: Got busted for telling fibs...
FunkyM: Became my own stalker...
Mike Falkner: Don't get me started on stalkers...
John Henry: Kids, don't try this at home.
David Powell: Don't try this at home.
Jimbo Jones: Please. Just don't even try.
MaxVEGASjd: PLEASE. Leave the trolling to... people who don't suck!
[Shows RSPW logo with the words "Don't even try."]
-----
[Scene: Ringside.]
Luvbun: Words to live by, brahs!
Barnett: True, true.
******************************
ILOVEUWxx vs. Tony the King
******************************
Jeff Amdur: This contest is scheduled for one fall!
Introducing first... already in the ring... here is
Tony the King!!
Ripclawe: Tony the King just recently appear on RSPW,
at least under this name and he's already made a mark
for himself by challenging the ever-popular ILOVEUWxx!
[Space Lord - Monster Magnet]
Jeff Amdur: His opponent... from Parts Unknown, here's
one half of the RSPWECW Tag Team champions... ILOVEUWxx!!
DING-A-LING!
Ripclawe: Here we go! Tony kicks ILOVEUWxx! No effect
whatsoever! ILOVEUWxx punches Tony and the King goes
reeling back into the ropes! ILOVEUWxx starts laying
into him with left and right punches!
Luvbun: It's amazing how the crowd is really behind
ILOVEUWxx!!
Ripclawe: ILOVEUWxx hits a piledriver on Tony! He's
got Tony in a camel clutch! Luckily Tony reaches the
ropes after only a couple seconds! ILOVEUWxx isn't
done with him yet though! He hits a back suplex on
Tony! ILOVEUWxx takes him down again with a roundhouse
right! Spinebuster by ILOVEUWxx!!!
Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
a rematch tonight!
Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
even if it was only for 90 seconds...
Ripclawe: Tony goes for a punch but ILOVEUWxx blocks it!
ILOVEUWxx headbutts him in the groin! Clothesline by 2x!!
ILOVEUWxx hits the Big Splash!!! Referee Capital Hobby
counts it... 1... 2... 3!!!
DING-A-LING!
[Space Lord - Monster Magnet]
Jeff Amdur: Here is your winner.... ILOVEUWxx!!!
Ripclawe: 2x is busting loose tonight, brahs! But it's
Hulka who's been unstoppable lately... can anybody beat
him??
-----
[Scene: Backstage with Stoneco864 and JeffH.]
Incubus: Stoneco, there are rumours that you and JeffH
haven't been seeing eye to eye lately. Since I can't
comment, can you??
Stoneco864: As far as I know, we're getting along just
fin...
JeffH: I'll field this one, Incubus. I'm the man who ran
Heelgoldberg out of RSPW! I rule!!
Stoneco864: Sorry, Jeff but you don't rule as much as
you think you do. Heelgoldberg was great and you Billy
Gunned RSPW by running him off!
JeffH: *sniff* You didn't have to tell it like it is,
Stoneco!
Stoneco864 [leaning in to give him a hug]: I'm sorry, dude...
[JeffH suddenly nails Stoneco with his Bandwidth Weight
title belt.]
JeffH: Ha ha! Who's a great heel now, Eric?! Who's a
great heel now??!!
-----
[Scene: Ringside.]
Barnett: That was a henious act! I liked it.
[Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine]
Ripclawe: Oh great, it's Chad Bryant! What is it now?
Chad: Ladies and gentlemen, it's over. I had fun showing
everybody on RSPW how stupid they are for buying my works
but it's time to settle down!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Chad: Shut up tardmarks! Can't you see I'm trying to
turn over a new leaf??
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Chad: I think it was surprising to see some people weren't
as tolerant of my little work as I thought they'd be....
Ripclawe: Yeah, why aren't people more tolerant of a big
flood of crappy troll posts??
Luvbun: Beats me! That's what made RSPW what it is today!
Chad: So when I win the RSPWECW World title from Hulka
tonight I will dedicate it to all of my friends who stood
with me through this! Thank you!!
Ripclawe: I have to admit, Chad has toned it down quite
a bit tonight! Maybe it's the new attitude he needs to
win the title!
Barnett: I think it's because he doesn't want a picture
of his house posted on my website!
Ripclawe: I'm sure we'll find out which before the night
it over!
-----
[Commercial break]
-----
[Scene: Ringside.]
**********************************************
The Urban Terrorist Ver. 4.0 vs. StoneGolym
**********************************************
[Schizm - Tool]
Jeff Amdur: This contest is scheduled for one fall!
Introducing first... here is The Urban Terrorist
Ver. 4.0!!
Ripclawe: I see the Urban Terrorist has made a few
upgrades since he last battled StoneGolym softcore
style! Let's hope it translates into success!
[Bullets With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins]
Jeff Amdur: His opponent... here's the ORIGINAL
scourage of IRC... StoneGolym!!
DING-A-LING!
Ripclawe: Here we go! 4.0 kicks StoneGolym! No effect
whatsoever! StoneGolym punches 4.0 and the Terroist goes
reeling back into the ropes! StoneGolym starts laying
into him with left and right punches!
Luvbun: It's amazing how the crowd is really behind
StoneGolym!!
Ripclawe: StoneGolym hits a piledriver on 4.0! He's
got StoneGolym in a camel clutch! Luckily 4.0 reaches
the ropes after only a couple seconds! StoneGolym isn't
done with him yet though! He hits a back suplex on
4.0! StoneGolym takes him down again with a roundhouse
right! Spinebuster by StoneGolym!!!
Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
a rematch tonight!
Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
even if it was only for 90 seconds... hey, haven't
we had this convo before??
Barnett: Nobody reads these match sections anyway.
Don't worry about it!
Ripclawe: 4.0 goes for a punch but StoneGolym blocks it!
Stone headbutts him in the groin! Clothesline by Stone!!
StoneGolym hits the Golymdriver!!! Referee Black Knight
counts it... 1... 2... 3!!!
DING-A-LING!
[Bullets With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins]
Jeff Amdur: Here is your winner.... StoneGolym!!!
-----
[Scene: Outside, behind the arena.]
Krusty: I can't believe these no smoking policies! I work
here and I can't smoke up in the arena!!
Big Deeksie Cooler: Actually, smoking pot shouldn't be
allowed anywhere, brah. They're giving you a big pass!
Krusty: It's bullshit, man! Total bullshit!!
Rob Cypher [wobbling over]: Hey Krusty, you give potheads
a bad name!!
Krusty: You're such a poser.
[Cypher coughs in Krusty's face. Krusty passes out from
from the toxic breath.]
Cypher: Get me a referee stat!!!
[Big Deeksie Cooler runs off and bring back Toxicenema
in a referee's shirt. Toxic sees Cypher with his foot
on Krusty's chest and makes the count.]
Toxic: 1, 2, 3!!! Congrats Cypher, you're the new RSPWECW
Softcore champ!
Big Deeksie Cooler: What's wrong, Rob?
Cypher: I meant to say "get me a reefer stat" *sniff*
Toxic: Hey, Krusty has a big bag of green in his jacket!
Cypher: I AM A GOD!!!
-----
[Scene: Commissioner ViNNY's office.]
Drazic [bursting in]: Hey twoface, what's the deal with
giving Chad the title shot tonight? I'm the Interserver
champion! I deserve it more!
ViNNY: No.
Drazic: But I thought you looooooved me!!
ViNNY: No.
Drazic: Well I need something to do tonight! A boy like
me needs to be kept occupied!
ViNNY: Okay, you can defend your title against Crush Girl.
Drazic: Wait... is Crush Girl a... girl?!
ViNNY: Yes.
Drazic: AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
ViNNY: And the referee will be MissLady!
Drazic: AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
ViNNY [smiling]: My work here is done.
-----
[Commercial break]
-----
[Scene: Backstage D'stat is rallying the troops.]
D'stat: Guys, we have to fight this RSPWWCW invasion!
RSPWWCW has screwed all of you at one time or another!
[D'stat pats John Henry on the back.]
D'stat: How many of us have had to job to their bookers
night after night?
[D'stat pats Burnside on the back.]
D'stat: And how many of us has RSPWWCW never booked at
all because they're still stuck in 1998?
[D'stat pats Gazza D on the back.]
D'stat: And let's not forget their hatred for british
peoples since Zyklin left! Who's with me?!!!
[Everybody mumbles and walks away.]
curious: I'm still with ya!!
D'stat: Great!
[D'stat pats curious on the ass. curious backs out of
the room nervously.]
-----
[Scene: Ringside.]
*************************************
For the RSPWECW Interserver Title:
Sickboy vs. Crush Girl
*************************************
[Steal My Sunshine - Len]
Jeff Amdur: This contest is scheduled for one fall!
Introducing first... here is Crush Girl!!
Ripclawe: Sickboy has been surrounded by girls! I
sure hope he took his cootie shots!
[Let me blow your mind - Eve w/Gwen Stefani]
Jeff Amdur: His opponent... the RSPWECW Interserver
champion... Drazic the No. 1 Sickboy!!
DING-A-LING!
Ripclawe: Here we go! Crush Girl kicks Drazic! No effect
whatsoever! Drazic punches Crush Girl and the chickie
goes reeling back into the ropes! Drazic starts laying
into him with left and right punches!
Luvbun: It's amazing how the crowd is really behind
Drazic!!
Ripclawe: Drazic hits a piledriver on Crush Girl! He's
got Drazic in a camel clutch! Luckily Crush Girl reaches
the ropes after only a couple seconds! Drazic isn't
done with him yet though! He hits a back suplex on
Crush Girl! Drazic takes him down again with a roundhouse
right! Spinebuster by Drazic!!!
Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
a rematch tonight!
Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
even if it was only for 90 seconds... hey, haven't
we had this convo before??
Barnett: Nobody reads these match sections anyway.
Don't worry about it!
Ripclawe: Crush Girl goes for a punch but Drazic blocks it!
Stone headbutts him in the groin! Clothesline by Sickboy!!
Drazic hits the Superkick!!! Referee MissLady counts it...
1... 2... 3!!!
DING-A-LING!
[Let me blow your mind - Eve w/Gwen Stefani]
Jeff Amdur: Here is your winner.... Drazic!!!
-----
[Scene: Commissioner ViNNY's office.]
Chad [poking his head in]: Hi ViN, could I have a minute
alone with your houseboy?
ViNNY: STUART?? Good heavens, why?
Chad: Just give me a minute, okay??
ViNNY [sighs]: Okay. [ViNNY leaves.]
Chad: Hi STU. I've been under so much pressure lately
I don't know what to do...
STUART: 'ave ya considered go'in ta tha b'day, gov'na?
Chad: Between these trolls that stalk me on RSPW and my
new job and my family moving, it's all just wearing me
out! And these tards on RSPW aren't helping any! I just
want to scream sometime!!
STUART: Sounds like ya got a wallaby up ya trouza leg!
Chad: I know you probably don't understand a word I
say, but I feel like we've made a connection here!
And don't worry, I don't judge you because you can't
speak english or watch sports entertainment.
STUART: What ya talkin' 'bout mate?
Chad: No need to thank me! When I become champ I'll let
you shine my title belt!
-----
[Commercial break]
-----
[Scene: Ringside.]
Ripclawe: Welcome back everybody, you're just in time for
tonight's main event! Wait a sec... I've got Mave Deltzer
on my headset... what is it Mave??
Mave Deltzer: Reports are coming out of the commissioner's
office that ViNNY has assigned Chad fan Justice Gray as
the referee for tonight's main event!
Luvbun: The deck is being stacked against Hulka!
*************************************
For the RSPWECW World Title:
Chad Bryant vs. Hulka R. Maniac
*************************************
[Bulls on Parade - Rage Against the Machine]
Jeff Amdur: This contest is scheduled for one fall!
Introducing first... here is Chad Bryant!!
Ripclawe: Will Hulka survive this titanic encounter?
It's time to find out!!
[Voodoo Chile - Jimi Hendrix]
Jeff Amdur: His opponent... the RSPWECW WORLD
CHAMPION OF THE WORLD... Hulka Maniac!!
DING-A-LING!
Ripclawe: Here we go! Chad kicks Hulka! No effect
whatsoever! Hulka punches Chad and the chickie
goes reeling back into the ropes! Hulka starts laying
into him with left and right punches!
Luvbun: It's amazing how the crowd is really behind
Hulka!!
Ripclawe: Hulka hits a piledriver on Chad! He's
got Hulka in a camel clutch! Luckily Chad reaches
the ropes after only a couple seconds! Hulka isn't
done with him yet though! He hits a back suplex on
Chad! Hulka takes him down again with a roundhouse
right! Spinebuster by Hulka!!!
Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
a rematch tonight!
Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
even if it was only for 90 seconds... hey, haven't
we had this convo before??
Barnett: Nobody reads these match sections anyway.
Don't worry about it!
Ripclawe: Chad goes for a punch but Hulka blocks it!
Stone headbutts him in the groin! Clothesline by Sickboy!!
Hulka hits the Big Legdrop!!! Referee Justice Gray counts
it... 1... 2... 3!!!
DING-A-LING!
[Voodoo Chile - Jimi Hendrix]
Jeff Amdur: Here is your winner.... Hulka!!!
Ripclawe: THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH!! I AM MECKING OOT!!!!!!!!
[Ripclawe's head explodes.]
Luvbun: Guess that's all the time we have for tonight,
folks! We leave you now with a replay of Hulka's win
and a sense of loss for the time you wasted reading
this and could have been doing something cool with your
summer! BYE!!!
FIN.
-----
Written by FunkyM. (c) 1999-2001 or something like that.
P.S. For anybody left out of this card, here's your name now!
marko ,don t. poll, alex cain, cullompton pete, john kimball,
jimbo jones, zero, mackemman, kayvon ghaffari, joe sixpack,
mike, aeropo864, mr. deuce apple juice , scotty flamingo,
chekuya, mr. truth, pingajuice, bill crawford, me,
j. christian grymyr, ari indik, dka, trash holly,
bostonfireplace, john rogers, s. macneil, eddiekirk,
musicone4, keldon warlord 2000, don martin, methld3138,
the gooch, froggy , rockboy, dchance, anti-whippersnaper,
trippy, blitzhawk311, jacob fruehling, hulk poet, mr. frederick,
the pinnacle, summer paine, doctor of style, tehawk, poot rootbeer,
hammbone, jeff novel, danger3210, casey, sabuonez, joe morrison, smellytoess,
misawa91, dan, mave deltzer, pacino421, marvin
the lunatic, m penta, corey simonator, doggie diamond, dojj,
lalande, john, superstudd, burnside, yfb, sniper000_2000, jr,
trel600, jason adcock, chucky chuckster,patrick, john salmon,
tentacleporn, dchance, the mac, njrob65, dave bird,
presidentricflair, paladim,the real fn show, emilysbatmitzvah,
justin toxicated, sean wilkinson, PUBLIC,billy bartys big brother,
dr winston O'boogie md, bigdaddy, bj mcdevitt, manny, john gr864,
meanmarcash1, milhouse guidry, logical anomaly , buck naked, inmehd,
bakaboy712, happjack, michael falkner, stephen morelock, martylk,
the one mr. ass, newbie, morgan vening, promontion killah eddy mac,
jeff wahlman, twiggs, marvinrs,kamakazzi_kid, dennis dubay II,
tedb512, maikeru, steve, nospam, quad-zilla, gai hung lo, that guy,
gryphon801, bill crawford, nevsky41, janet, justin o'neill, daris,
hitman 9497, allen kirshner, rancid, mikeyjericholic,happjack,
dave bird, gregory_d, franklin bratcher, supernova326, opusink,
herbert andress, edc, jim sinclair, karen marie, dracoxmalfoy,
someone important, devon, bean fried pork, Joextreme, the mac,
kevin lee, tolcat, jordie gurganus, mike, circulationoutreach,
vossmike, eddie florek, big D, david e. powell, tim gueguen,
sexecutioner7169, bw,astoltman,the ma-jin,primetime,tank withers,
natrboy72, 2 slick, umass, cptaindan, bougus prophet, smartass
whiteboy, bryan ecker, opie anthony, hammer, dave mansonozz,
zimri,innovator, b.j. mcdevitt, ed, dougfunn1979,chris oster,
elader, shawnmic, kneebasher starwarnut, ryan grant, mrxxxx,
prznkm, brandon hex, dojj, darien allen, tremley, mr.extremeone,
bob magee1, gdawg1587 ,troy8698,Ian Walsh, cotuc, sucide samurai,
galileo5, acolyte of glorious la parka, donnie vomit 666,
pascal fricker, fulf62, divamasher, tails2469, pacino421,
magic happy beans, agentclpt, wdoda, marvinrs
Enjoy!!
--
Funkgazi (funk'gazi') adj. 1. All funked up, all screwed
up... but still having fun!
Jeff H
Stoneco864! Long live the heel-Turn!
>
>[Scene: Backstage with Stoneco864 and JeffH.]
>
>Incubus: Stoneco, there are rumours that you and JeffH
>haven't been seeing eye to eye lately. Since I can't
>comment, can you??
>
>Stoneco864: As far as I know, we're getting along just
>fin...
>
>JeffH: I'll field this one, Incubus. I'm the man who ran
>Heelgoldberg out of RSPW! I rule!!
>
>Stoneco864: Sorry, Jeff but you don't rule as much as
>you think you do. Heelgoldberg was great and you Billy
>Gunned RSPW by running him off!
>
>JeffH: *sniff* You didn't have to tell it like it is,
>Stoneco!
>
>Stoneco864 [leaning in to give him a hug]: I'm sorry, dude...
>
>[JeffH suddenly nails Stoneco with his Bandwidth Weight
>title belt.]
>
>JeffH: Ha ha! Who's a great heel now, Eric?! Who's a
>great heel now??!!
>
We Are 138 - Misfits (Danzig Era)
Stoneco864
>Stoneco864! Long live the heel-Turn!
>
You billygunned RSPW
"Mick, it's Tony Schiavone he sounds so sad"
Colette Foley
"You couldn't be any more chill than Stoneco864"
The Ma-jin
Jeff H
>Subject: Re: [REVISED EDITION] REGAL RUMBLE - THE WEAKEST LINK
>From: stone...@aol.com (Stoneco864)
>Date: 6/29/01 11:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <20010629234121...@ng-fc1.aol.com>
We Are 138 - Misfits (Danzig Era)
Pootro864
> Stoneco864: Sorry, Jeff but you don't rule as much as
> you think you do. Heelgoldberg was great and you Billy
> Gunned RSPW by running him off!
Stoneco doesn't talk like that
> P.S. For anybody left out of this card, here's your name now!
Excellent re-use of someone elses Pointless research here
> mike, aeropo864, mr. deuce apple juice , scotty flamingo,
Mike thats me
> the pinnacle, summer paine, doctor of style, tehawk, poot rootbeer,
Poot Rootbeer thats me
> Joextreme, the mac, kevin lee, tolcat, jordie gurganus, mike,
Mike thats me again
-Poot
(FunkyM mark)
Stoneco864
>> you think you do. Heelgoldberg was great and you Billy
>> Gunned RSPW by running him off!
>
>Stoneco doesn't talk like that
That was me talking not typing so it makes sence
Jeff H
post!
>Subject: Re: [REVISED EDITION] REGAL RUMBLE - THE WEAKEST LINK
>From: stone...@aol.com (Stoneco864)
>Date: 6/30/01 1:18 AM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <20010630011849...@ng-ch1.aol.com>
We Are 138 - Misfits (Danzig Era)
Big Mamma Pump and her favorite freak Stephanie McMahon
of my freaks, FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> said:
>Allan: Don't worry, there's an easy way to get around this!
>We'll just have a match tonight! You vs. Liz for control
>of RSPWECW!!
>
>FunkyM: Brilliant!! Why didn't FunkyM think of that?!
Hmmmmm. I smell a screwjob a comin...... :-)
>Allan: Obviously, you were a victim of hack writing. Don't
>worry, it happens all the time.
Hell, it's happened for five years.
>Luvbun: How about that HUGE announcement at the top of
>the show that RSPWWCW bought RSPWECW?
>
>Ripclawe: Liz claims she bought RSPWECW but in reality,
>I think everybody will admit RSPWECW has 0wn3d her for
>years! Nyuck, nyuck!
I want to point out that in the RSPWWCW storyline, it isn't Liz or RSPWWCW
that bought RSPWECW "controlling interest". It was Vince McMahon. McMahon
actually hasn't bought RSPWWCW. But of course, each fed has its own spin.
(Damn, I love this competing feds shit. Where's Stefan Damien when you
need him? :-) )
>Ripclawe: No folks, you eyes aren't deceiving you!
>RSPWECW is back! At least until we run out of ideas...
You mean you have ideas?
Can I borrow some?
Hey, I like this version, too.
>******************************
>ILOVEUWxx vs. Tony the King
>******************************
Who?
Man, I thought I gave pushes to some obscure posters.
>Ripclawe: I have to admit, Chad has toned it down quite
>a bit tonight! Maybe it's the new attitude he needs to
>win the title!
>
>Barnett: I think it's because he doesn't want a picture
>of his house posted on my website!
LLLLOOOOFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My La Parka you remembered that!!!! :-)
>[Scene: Backstage D'stat is rallying the troops.]
>
>D'stat: Guys, we have to fight this RSPWWCW invasion!
>RSPWWCW has screwed all of you at one time or another!
>
>[D'stat pats John Henry on the back.]
>
>D'stat: How many of us have had to job to their bookers
>night after night?
>
>[D'stat pats Burnside on the back.]
>
>D'stat: And how many of us has RSPWWCW never booked at
>all because they're still stuck in 1998?
>
>[D'stat pats Gazza D on the back.]
>
>D'stat: And let's not forget their hatred for british
>peoples since Zyklin left! Who's with me?!!!
>
>[Everybody mumbles and walks away.]
>
>curious: I'm still with ya!!
>
>D'stat: Great!
>
>[D'stat pats curious on the ass. curious backs out of
>the room nervously.]
Never turn your back on D'Stat. Trust me. By the way, why is he
turncoating on me? He's in the main event for Weaselmania 2001.
>Ripclawe: THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH!! I AM MECKING OOT!!!!!!!!
>
>[Ripclawe's head explodes.]
I just love this Celebrity Death Match realism. :-)
Hey, some of these guys actually post here!
Man. Competing wrestling federations. What a novel concept. :-)
Big Mamma Pump Liz Michael - The ORIGINAL Genetic Freak -
Part of the Conspiracy
LizMichael.com - www.lizmichael.com
The Corporate Dungeon - http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Arena/9007
Remember, if you're a typical RSPW poster, I'm taller, bigger, and stronger than you: not only can I kick your ass, but I get more women than you.
"...often used as a reference when one wants to refer to an overbearing, obnoxious,
self-centered bitch..." - Mike Palij
"I'm gonna Hulk up with the UA, get my ass whipped by the Taskmistress, sit back
and watch Chad and the Avenger flame each other... THIS IS RSPW... LIKE
IT OR LEAVE IT!" ....Dave Rudden
"She might be the best-trolling RSPW'er that ever was"...Chris Filbey
"Jesus, not even the Japanese can stop Chad, he's EVERYWHERE. He's spreading like a fungus. Insidious."
"All your fed are belong to us" - Vince McMahon
WHAT'S SIX INCHES LONG, TWO INCHES WIDE, AND DRIVES A WOMAN WILD?
A bar of chocolate.
To all my freaks out there... Big Mamma Pump is your hookup. Holler if ya hear me!
Drazic The No 1 Sickboy
>For the RSPWECW Interserver Title:
>Sickboy vs. Crush Girl
>*************************************
>Ripclawe: Crush Girl goes for a punch but Drazic blocks it!
>Stone headbutts him in the groin! Clothesline by Sickboy!!
>Drazic hits the Superkick!!! Referee MissLady counts it...
>1... 2... 3!!!
>
>DING-A-LING!
>
>[Let me blow your mind - Eve w/Gwen Stefani]
>
>Jeff Amdur: Here is your winner.... Drazic!!!
Yeah baby~~
~~
Drazic The #1 Sickboy.
"Here me out RSPW Readers, there are some people out there on turner that
take this internet way too seriously than me. thanks."
Emmett Gulley, 1/1/98
Recruit Coddington~
2001-2001
5 Weeks of elfen awesomeness
GazzaD
>all because they're still stuck in 1998?
>
>[D'stat pats Gazza D on the back.]
>
Hey!!!!!!!!.............oh hold on your right.
D-Lo Brown still deserves a push
Stephen Morelock
> RSPWECW h3@t - 06/29/01
> Aztec Arena, Mexcio City, Mexico
> Announcers: Ripclawe, Luvbun, Bob "Hey" Barnett
LOL, this is great. ALL HAIL SECONDARY KING FUNKY! HIS CARDS DON'T
SUCK AS MUCH AS CARDS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD PENISECTOMIES!
> P.S. For anybody left out of this card, here's your name now!
>
> marko ,don t. poll, alex cain, cullompton pete, john kimball,
> jimbo jones, zero, mackemman, kayvon ghaffari, joe sixpack,
> mike, aeropo864, mr. deuce apple juice , scotty flamingo,
> chekuya, mr. truth, pingajuice, bill crawford, me,
> j. christian grymyr, ari indik, dka, trash holly,
> bostonfireplace, john rogers, s. macneil, eddiekirk,
> musicone4, keldon warlord 2000, don martin, methld3138,
> the gooch, froggy , rockboy, dchance, anti-whippersnaper,
> trippy, blitzhawk311, jacob fruehling, hulk poet, mr. frederick,
> the pinnacle, summer paine, doctor of style, tehawk, poot rootbeer,
> hammbone, jeff novel, danger3210, casey, sabuonez, joe morrison, smellytoess,
> misawa91, dan, mave deltzer, pacino421, marvin
> the lunatic, m penta, corey simonator, doggie diamond, dojj,
> lalande, john, superstudd, burnside, yfb, sniper000_2000, jr,
> trel600, jason adcock, chucky chuckster,patrick, john salmon,
> tentacleporn, dchance, the mac, njrob65, dave bird,
> presidentricflair, paladim,the real fn show, emilysbatmitzvah,
> justin toxicated, sean wilkinson, PUBLIC,billy bartys big brother,
> dr winston O'boogie md, bigdaddy, bj mcdevitt, manny, john gr864,
> meanmarcash1, milhouse guidry, logical anomaly , buck naked, inmehd,
> bakaboy712, happjack, michael falkner, stephen morelock,
WOOHOO!
> martylk,
> the one mr. ass, newbie, morgan vening, promontion killah eddy mac,
> jeff wahlman, twiggs, marvinrs,kamakazzi_kid, dennis dubay II,
> tedb512, maikeru, steve, nospam, quad-zilla, gai hung lo, that guy,
> gryphon801, bill crawford, nevsky41, janet, justin o'neill, daris,
> hitman 9497, allen kirshner, rancid, mikeyjericholic,happjack,
> dave bird, gregory_d, franklin bratcher, supernova326, opusink,
> herbert andress, edc, jim sinclair, karen marie, dracoxmalfoy,
> someone important, devon, bean fried pork, Joextreme, the mac,
> kevin lee, tolcat, jordie gurganus, mike, circulationoutreach,
> vossmike, eddie florek, big D, david e. powell, tim gueguen,
> sexecutioner7169, bw,astoltman,the ma-jin,primetime,tank withers,
> natrboy72, 2 slick, umass, cptaindan, bougus prophet, smartass
> whiteboy, bryan ecker, opie anthony, hammer, dave mansonozz,
> zimri,innovator, b.j. mcdevitt, ed, dougfunn1979,chris oster,
> elader, shawnmic, kneebasher starwarnut, ryan grant, mrxxxx,
> prznkm, brandon hex, dojj, darien allen, tremley, mr.extremeone,
> bob magee1, gdawg1587 ,troy8698,Ian Walsh, cotuc, sucide samurai,
> galileo5, acolyte of glorious la parka, donnie vomit 666,
> pascal fricker, fulf62, divamasher, tails2469, pacino421,
> magic happy beans, agentclpt, wdoda, marvinrs
>
> Enjoy!!
Stephen Morelock
From the Mean Streets of Knoxville, Tennessee
Jeff Wahlman
Magnific...@hotmail.com says...
> FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:<Y77%6.2232$Kf3....@www.newsranger.com>...
> > RSPWECW h3@t - 06/29/01
> > Aztec Arena, Mexcio City, Mexico
> > Announcers: Ripclawe, Luvbun, Bob "Hey" Barnett
> <snip>
> > P.S. For anybody left out of this card, here's your name now!
(SNIP)
> > jeff wahlman,
/me marks!
FunkyM is the greatest!
Fro
Big Mamma Pump and her favorite freak Stephanie McMahon
my freaks, Magnific...@hotmail.com (Stephen Morelock) said:
>FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:<Y77%6.2232$Kf3....@www.newsranger.com>...
>> RSPWECW h3@t - 06/29/01
>> Aztec Arena, Mexcio City, Mexico
>> Announcers: Ripclawe, Luvbun, Bob "Hey" Barnett
><snip>
>
>LOL, this is great. ALL HAIL SECONDARY KING FUNKY! HIS CARDS DON'T
>SUCK AS MUCH AS CARDS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD PENISECTOMIES!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, let's see. Who USED to be on the RSPWWCW booking committee
once upon a time. Gee, I wonder precisely who that was.....
AH YES!!! It was you.
And remember, if I hadn't had a sex change, I wouldn't have been able to
be the donor that saved Hulka R. Maniac's manhood.
FunkyM
<MPG.15a8fda37...@corp.supernews.com>, John Henry, an impious and
dastardly lout, writed...
>
>Throughout the history of mankind, knowledge and wisom
>have been communicated. On Fri, 29 Jun 2001 22:17:28
>GMT, FunkyM continued this tradition by gifting the
>onlookers of rec.sport.pro-wrestling with this screed of
>wisdom and enlightenment, titled
><Y77%6.2232$Kf3....@www.newsranger.com>:
>
>> Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
>> a rematch tonight!
>
>> Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
>> even if it was only for 90 seconds...
>> Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
>> a rematch tonight!
>
>> Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
>> even if it was only for 90 seconds... hey, haven't
>> we had this convo before??
>
>> Barnett: Nobody reads these match sections anyway.
>> Don't worry about it!
>> Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
>> a rematch tonight!
>
>> Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
>> even if it was only for 90 seconds... hey, haven't
>> we had this convo before??
>
>> Barnett: Nobody reads these match sections anyway.
>> Don't worry about it!
>> Barnett: I just want to know what Chad did to deserve
>> a rematch tonight!
>
>> Luvbun: Well he was the last guy to hold the belt,
>> even if it was only for 90 seconds... hey, haven't
>> we had this convo before??
>
>> Barnett: Nobody reads these match sections anyway.
>> Don't worry about it!
>
You're the first person to notice... guess FunkyM was right!
Well there's always a first time! WHOO HOO!!
FunkyM: The next Kubric!
FunkyM
<Xns90D0A79131...@24.3.128.74>, Pootro864 writed...
>
>FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>> Stoneco864: Sorry, Jeff but you don't rule as much as
>> you think you do. Heelgoldberg was great and you Billy
>> Gunned RSPW by running him off!
>
>Stoneco doesn't talk like that
If you think that was bad, check out how he spelled
Lvubun's name!
>> P.S. For anybody left out of this card, here's your name now!
>
>Excellent re-use of someone elses Pointless research here
FunkyM always appriciates good pointless research!!
>-Poot
>(FunkyM mark)
Thanks for the kind word everybody! Only on RSPW could ramblings
that would otherwise get you committed receive such warm applause!!
FunkyM
<3b3d7919...@news.earthlink.net>, Big Mamma Pump and her favorite freak
Stephanie McMahon writed...
>
>Listen up all you freaks out there, on Fri, 29 Jun 2001 22:17:28 GMT, one
>of my freaks, FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> said:
>
>Man. Competing wrestling federations. What a novel concept. :-)
Yeah! Only problem is FunkyM don't think we're competing, these
ain't wrestling federations and they sure ain't got nothing to
do with novel concepts!
Big Mamma Pump and her favorite freak Stephanie McMahon
of my freaks, FunkyM <fun...@my-lego.block> said:
>On Sat, 30 Jun 2001 07:22:45 GMT, in article
><3b3d7919...@news.earthlink.net>, Big Mamma Pump and her favorite freak
>Stephanie McMahon writed...
>>
>>Listen up all you freaks out there, on Fri, 29 Jun 2001 22:17:28 GMT, one
>>of my freaks, FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> said:
>>
>>Man. Competing wrestling federations. What a novel concept. :-)
>
>Yeah! Only problem is FunkyM don't think we're competing,
You mean we're not going after that same valued treasured usenet parody
wrestling dollar?
( For those of you from Rio Linda... ^^^^sarcasm^^^^ )
> these
>ain't wrestling federations and they sure ain't got nothing to
>do with novel concepts!
Personally I think "Unintended Consequences" is a great novel concept.
Of course, what I meant was.... it would be a novel concept to actually
SEE real competing wrestling federations so we don't have to play ones on
usenet.
Not that that ever stopped us before......
Allan J. Benson
news:3b41d45e...@news.earthlink.net...
> Listen up all you freaks out there, on Mon, 02 Jul 2001 07:22:56 GMT, one
> of my freaks, FunkyM <fun...@my-lego.block> said:
>
> >On Sat, 30 Jun 2001 07:22:45 GMT, in article
> ><3b3d7919...@news.earthlink.net>, Big Mamma Pump and her favorite
freak
> >Stephanie McMahon writed...
> >>
> >>Listen up all you freaks out there, on Fri, 29 Jun 2001 22:17:28 GMT,
one
> >>of my freaks, FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> said:
> >>
> >>Man. Competing wrestling federations. What a novel concept. :-)
> >
> >Yeah! Only problem is FunkyM don't think we're competing,
>
> You mean we're not going after that same valued treasured usenet parody
> wrestling dollar?
>
> ( For those of you from Rio Linda... ^^^^sarcasm^^^^ )
>
> > these
> >ain't wrestling federations and they sure ain't got nothing to
> >do with novel concepts!
>
> Personally I think "Unintended Consequences" is a great novel concept.
>
> Of course, what I meant was.... it would be a novel concept to actually
> SEE real competing wrestling federations so we don't have to play ones on
> usenet.
The saddest part is, I find this RSPW fantasy feud to be more
entertaining than the one on RAW. What a nightmare.
--
*********************************************************
"In polite society, sir, you don't call a person
by their first name unless they ask you to."
- Michael Moriarty
Stephen Morelock
> Listen up all you freaks out there, on 30 Jun 2001 07:17:48 -0700, one of
> my freaks, Magnific...@hotmail.com (Stephen Morelock) said:
>
> >FunkyM <fun...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:<Y77%6.2232$Kf3....@www.newsranger.com>...
> >> RSPWECW h3@t - 06/29/01
> >> Aztec Arena, Mexcio City, Mexico
> >> Announcers: Ripclawe, Luvbun, Bob "Hey" Barnett
> ><snip>
> >
> >LOL, this is great. ALL HAIL SECONDARY KING FUNKY! HIS CARDS DON'T
> >SUCK AS MUCH AS CARDS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD PENISECTOMIES!
>
> Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, let's see. Who USED to be on the RSPWWCW booking committee
> once upon a time. Gee, I wonder precisely who that was.....
>
> AH YES!!! It was you.
Yes...I WAS THE GLUE THAT HELD THAT SHIT TOGETHER DAMMIT! And then
someone convinced you that Avenger and some other guy writing RSPWWCW
would be a good idea...I mean, what was with THAT?
> And remember, if I hadn't had a sex change, I wouldn't have been able to
> be the donor that saved Hulka R. Maniac's manhood.
Shhhh...Ixnay on the Anhoodmay...
> Big Mamma Pump Liz Michael - The ORIGINAL Genetic Freak -
Stephen Morelock
Big Mamma Pump and her favorite freak Stephanie McMahon
of my freaks, cc...@freenet.carleton.ca (Allan J. Benson) said:
>> Of course, what I meant was.... it would be a novel concept to actually
>> SEE real competing wrestling federations so we don't have to play ones on
>> usenet.
>
>The saddest part is, I find this RSPW fantasy feud to be more
>entertaining than the one on RAW. What a nightmare.
INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!