Los Super Astros -- June 27, 1999
Todd Gerth
show on Univision. Hopefully we'll find that ringwork is the
international language.
Starts off with a replay of last week's main event, with Savio Vega
returning to break up the fight between his former gang members
Miguel Perez y El Merenguero (who used to be known as Jesus
Castillo, IIRC). Will Vega go Boricua Havanawood or Boricua
Salsapac? Stay tuned.
We go to the studio to get the rundown of today's show from our host
Marcelo. He's sort of a Latino Todd Pettingil, but 40% hunkier.
He throws to Maria Felipe, who is the LSA token female, although she
generally displays only moderate amounts of either T or A. Since
when is Titan hiring women with a modicum of class and taste? Maria
interviews Papi Chulo y Super Loco. Super Loco does his best to
live up to his name. They say some stuff. I dont understand
Spanish.
Your commentators are Carlos Cabrera on PBP and Hugo Savinovich on
color. At least, that's what I'm guessing. Their table is
currently in once piece.
Papi Chulo y Super Loco contra TAKA Michinoku y Funaki:
As Chulo y Loco head to the ring, they do the old Steiner Brothers
pose, with Loco taking the Rick role. I don't think I'd crawl
between the legs of a man named (if my understanding is correct)
"pimp daddy". Kaientai storms the ring and takes control. They
double dropkick Loco to the floor and backdrop Chulo high over the
ropes. We're not half a minute in, and it looks like we're going
right to the inside-out trainwreck spots. TAKA holds both of his
opponents for a Funaki pescado. The Mexicans move, so Funaki hits
TAKA. Chulo y Loco head back into the ring, and Loco does a
leapfrog over Chulo into a tope con hilo onto both Japanese
fellers. Nifty. Then Loco holds Kaientai to allow Chulo to hit a
twisting tope con hilo (similar to Kaz Hayashi's highspot). Nice
sequence, although done too early in the match. Loco pops up
immediately from the final tope, even though he took as much of the
blow as his opponents. I would have preferred the idea that Loco
was 'taking one for the team'. Oh well. The Mexicans gloat in
their Steineresque doggy-style. Back to action as Loco y Funaki mix
it up. Funaki gets an advantage, so Loco bolts from the ring.
Funaki immediately follows. Loco quickly heads back in. Funaki
returns to the ring and is met by two tilt-a-whirl backbreakers.
Aha! He's loco like a fox! Each man tags. TAKA y Chulo mix it up
with some fast paced flips and reversals. Some of the transitions
are a bit awkward, but it's okay. Chulo tries to take over with
some mediocre kicking, but TAKA bitch slaps him (karma's a harsh
mistress, eh Pimp Daddy?) to go back to offense. He tags in Funaki
so they can do the Kaientai trademarked Boston Crab to Camel Clutch
to dropkick in the face spot that we all know and love. They set up
another tandem manuever, but there is much confusion, and we go to
commercial before we can see what they were up to.
We come back and it's Loco y Funaki. Funaki reverses a whip and
hits a nice lariat, but then falls to his face. I guess he's been
Rudo in Peril during the break. Chulo tags in and hits a nice
sitout powerbomb for a count of dos. After some more offense from
the luchadores, Funaki attempts a semi-victory roll on Chulo only to
have it blocked so that Loco can hit an X-Factor (basically, the
bWo's Blue Light Special). Loco hits his moonsault trilogy,
immediately followed by an Adult Video Star Press by Chulo. Nice
sequence, although Papi's SSP isn't top shelf. TAKA makes the
save. Chulo whips Funaki into the corner and follows with a
Psicosis-like feet-first flying charge. Funaki sidesteps it, but
Chulo bounces off the turnbuckles and lands on his feet in the
ring. Funaki still manages to press his momentary advantage to hit
a Sting-style bulldog (personally, I dont care much for that
version. Gimme the Texas/headlock style bulldog any day). He gets
the hot tag to his partner. TAKA with a swinging DDT on Chulo.
TAKA with a tornado DDT on Loco (I seem to recall the distinction
being made in a DVDVR some time ago. A tornado is rarer--you get
the opponent in a front facelock in the ring, run to the ropes, and
hit the swinging DDT all in one motion. Like Spike Dudley's Acid
Drop, but with a DDT instead of a Diamond Cutter). TAKA goes for
the MDII on Chulo, but Chulo floats over and hits a German suplex
with a bridge. It looks really sloppy, but the ref counts tres.
Chulo raises his hands, but the ref raises TAKA's hand. Ah, that's
why the German looked sloppy. TAKA got the shoulder up, but Chulo's
shoulders were down. The replay shows that Chulo had a perfectly
nice bridge on the suplex, but gave it up in order to have his
shoulders down as per the booking. Actually, Chulo's shoulders
weren't down on the referee's uno count (just on dos and tres).
Papi was robbed! But it's too late for review now. TAKA and Funaki
are already skating the cup.
Maria interviews Mini Nova. He was unmasked last week by Mini Max,
but he covered up his face and ran to the back. Now, after seven
days of rampant speculation, we get to see him for the first time.
And there he is. I doubt Spice is getting knocked off the top of
CRZ's "who to stalk" list. Max comes in and wants to be friends;
Nova ain't buying that jive.
They hype KotR (El Rey del Ring), then we get a phony live via
satellite interview with Savio Vega, who will be the special referee
for the main event of today's program. Savio looks very concerned
about his responsibility, and refers to the weight of wearing the
negra y blanca.
El Merenguero contra Miguel Perez (Savio Vega es la official
especial)
The crowd goes wild for Savio. The crowd goes wild for Merenguero.
The crowd goes wild for Perez. If you've never seen this show, they
darken out the arena so you can't see the confused American sports
entertainment fans wondering who these people are. (so, yes, that
would be canned heat) Perez takes control, but Merenguero backs to
the corner, gets a double leg takedown and tries for a rope-assisted
pin. Savio aint havin it. Perez goes back on offense and sends his
opponent outside. Perez with a pescado that embodies all of the
intensity and fire of one Todd Gerth doing his laundry. The rewind
button on my VCR is saved some abuse; thanks, Miguel! Back in the
ring, Perez tries to use a chair, but Savio is calling it down the
middle. As Perez y Vega fight over the chair, sneaky Mr. Merenguero
uses ĄEl Equalizer Grande! to swing the momentum. They do some more
stuff, and we go to commercial.
We're back, and they're doing more stuff. I dunno, for a heated
feud, these guys don't seem particulary motivated. Nothing
horrible--it's just there. The commentators are making it sound
like the world is ending, though. Gotta give them credit. So
anyway, Merenguero is a rudo who has to cheat to survive, so he
grabs his Guiro (a Latin percussion instrument he brings to the ring
with him. He plays it and dances around before his matches and
during his interviews. That's what folks in the biz call a
"gimmick") with a mind to bean Mr. Perez. Savio blocks it, and they
wrangle over the metal object. Savio rips it away, but nails Perez
in the process. El Merenguero does the salsa dance of joy and
covers Perez. Now Savio has a choice to make. He *could* call the
match a no-contest. However, the fans DEMANDED this grudge match,
and they want to see a winner. A non-finish would undoubtedly send
the Nashville arena into a riot. So Savio swallows his pride and
counts to tres. He walks off disgusted, looking as if he'd just
eaten some bad jerk chicken. El Merenguero celebrates by dancing
all night and dance a little longer as the show ends.
The next show on Univision starts with scantily clad women playing
foozball, so I need to finish this report in order to give that my
full attention.
Tag match was pretty fun, but didnt ever get any sort of flow.
Singles match was okay, but it didnt show much of the intensity that
the angle dictated. Nothing greatly inspiring, nothing
dishearteningly bad. This show was the creamy middle.
todd
--
"Crack that whip! Licorice whip!" -- Waylon Smithers