[The sun shines through a set of sliding glass doors into a
modest-looking living room with a pair of leather couches, a decorative
wooden wall-unit with
a television and DVD player on it, and a coffee table the same wooden
'color' as the wall-unit. The television's playing clips of the last
Bastards show, one part in particular... the "Heavy Mental" Dave Pietka
segment. This comes much to the entertainment of the gentlemen sitting
on one of
the couches... THE "Heavy Mental" Dave Pietka.]
[Sprawled out as if he were on a sedan, he seems to be quite
comfortable, as well as dressed for this apparently informal occasion
with nothing more than
some white kick-boxing pants and a sleeveless blue shirt. On the coffee
table, there are a few cans of Mountain Dew and a few cans of Vault,
knocked-over. Pietka's face, despite the massive intake of sugar and
caffeine, seems to be rather straight, but relaxed.]
D. Pietka: Well, I managed to get the message across to one person.
While that person's just a commentator, other people listen to that
person. And there,
the chain starts and gets longer and longer. Granted, when I watch a
Mel Brooks film in the middle of the back of the arena, it's a little
hard to take me
as seriously as possible... but damn it, someone listened.
[Pietka hoists himself up to a sitting position, reaches for a remote
that happens to be sitting near one of the empty cans, and presses
picture of him, looking dead at the camera with one of his freaky
grins, stays fixed on the television.]
D. Pietka: Seriously, that guy creeps me out sometimes.
[Placing the remote down, he leans back into the couch and stares off.]
D. Pietka: I would have liked to listen, but... it's kinda hard when no
one's saying anything. It is at this point in the program that I look
you, Justin Harper. Did I anger you? You got the flowers right? The box
of chocolates? The gift certificate to Jon-Ric Hair Salon? I've been
right, so why the silent treatment?
Off-screen voice: No... you sent those to me, hon.
[A torso saunters in behind the couch, and the camera pulls back and
looks up to see the voluptuous figure of Devin DeMasters. The
ass-kicking brunette is
dressed in a tight-fitting "Girls Are Gamers, Too!" T-shirt, and we see
the top of her jeans, but that disappears as she leans down and wraps
around Mental, leaning in close. Mental, who highly approves of the
introduction of affection, as well as the sensation of DeMasters'
pressed up against
the back of his head, only smiles widely.]
D. DeMasters: Love to know how you got the two of us confused that way.
D. Pietka: Actually, the viewers at home understand me enough to know
that I'm just messing with him because it's easy. I just wanted to
fact that Harper hasn't said diddly-nothing since before, during, and
after his debut with Day-Day. It kinda distresses me a little bit,
since it seems he
can't be bothered to say 'Hello, My Fellow Bastards!', but I guess he's
got higher priorities or something like that.
D. DeMasters: Oh, yah. He's the guy you've got at the next show, isn't
D. Pietka: Yup. I'm trading up in the world, Devin. Instead of going up
against weird, candy bar flinging, electro-shock lovin' freaks, I'm
chance to beat up the mute. Only in the Land of Bastards, huh. I mean,
I'm at a bit of a loss, babe.
D. DeMasters: What do you mean?
D. Pietka: Well, I'm not getting the chance to say much of anything
these days. Not anything important anyway. It certainly doesn't help
when people I'm
supposed to be talking to don't say anything back. It's as if I'm
speaking to an electrified fence. You hear the humming, so you know
there's some kind of
activity up there, but there's no response until you piss all over it,
and I've already stated I'm NOT doing the 'pissing on' thing.
[Pietka kisses a portion of Devin's arm before standing up, pacing a
few steps back and forth. Devin walks towards the counter of the
and sits herself on the counter.]
D. Pietka: Do I say nothing more to the guy except 'I'm gonna whoop
your sorry ass, It's gonna be all me, etc. etc.'? Do I ignore him
spite? I mean, I'm not about to do something that'll come back to smack
me in my ass. I'm not for doing things I end up regretting after all.
D. DeMasters: You do stuff like that?
D. Pietka: Only when you're not looking, babe.
D. DeMasters: Smart ass.
D. Pietka: *grinning at the last comment* I don't wanna come outta this
the loser, after all. It's almost like me and Chris Colton all over
except we were fighting for our first win, instead of extra dominance.
We were fighting so everyone else would laugh at the other guy and not
He's got an insignificant win, I've got an insignificant win. Right
now, we're both of us going for our first significant win. There isn't
a second way
around that... that is IT.
[Dave quickly walks around the couch and approaches Devin, leaning into
her and looking at her dead in the eyes, a smile widening on his face.]
D. Pietka: Granted, this isn't an 'extra dominance' scenario, either.
THAT would be me going on undefeated for a few more matches, then going
someone like... oh, I dunno... that guy who named himself after
Sephiroth, whatever his name it. THAT is an 'extra dominance' scenario.
No, this is just
another exhibition, but there's an extra exclamation point in there for
us, and that's... not something I've fully grasped yet, but I'm certain
D. DeMasters: Well, you might be right. There aren't too many guys here
that I think you need to be too worried about, least not right now. In
willing to bet you're better than most of the guys they have as
champion, all that you need to do is keep everyone drunk on... well...
[Dave's grin gets wider, more toothy. He arcs his eyebrows once or
twice before snuggling into Devin, who only smiles warmly back.]
D. Pietka: Yah... that's true. Gonna take some time, though. Crap like
that doesn't really come quickly. Comes easy, but not too quickly.
[Devin only grins.]
D. DeMasters: Well... maybe it'll come quick like last time.
D. Pietka: How ya figure?
D. DeMasters: Your girlfriend's decided to join the rank of Lady
D. Pietka: What? You're becoming active again?
D. DeMasters: No... your girlfriend is...
[Pietka pulls himself out of Devin's bosom, smirking.]
D. Pietka: Oh, I get it. Listen, that whole Morgan Webb thing's just a
flight of fancy. Seriously, she doesn't even know I exist.
D. DeMasters: *sigh* Maybe I should elaborate more. 'Our' girlfriend...
D. Pietka: Our? ...we have a girlfriend now?
[Pietka starts thinking about it for a moment... then his eyes shift
over to Devin. She smiles, which causes him to smile... wide.]
D. Pietka: Oh... fantabulous day, caloo-calay! Where's the phone, love?
[The scene fades out with Pietka racing to find his telephone, and the
camera gets another shot of the television, frozen on Pietka and his
smile. Fade to intro...
"Shake Your Blood" by Probot with Lemmy Kilmister quickly begins to
play as the opening credits kick into motion. We're treated to various
images of the
MBC's last pay per view, SplatterNad 2004. Taylor MacKenzie hitting a
Basic Instinct on Tara Marshall... Taylor then kissing Slush out of
#Looking for relief in your miserable life.#
#You need some rock 'n' roll, and you better get it right.#
#Got to roll them bones, do everything they say.#
#If your cool, then you're the fool, make it work, every day.#
[Tragedy and "The Atomic Son" Sean Malcomb getting into a backstage
confrontation... Malcomb getting the DQ win over the Harlequin
Harper ripping the "Danny Has Two Moms" T-shirt from Kari Stevens
back... Kari trying to throw powder into Stephanie's face but the
Somers Twins blowing
it into hers instead...]
#Rock out - Do it quick.#
#My, my, my, let it rip.#
#Rock out - Feeling good.#
#Break your heart.#
#Shake your blood.#
[Ryu Osawa getting the pin on Lt. Daniel "Lethal" Lawson... and then
the two turning on PETA protestors... Fury and the Sons of Cacophony
other in the parking garage for their street fight... Rage's head
getting shoved through a glass window... Nina Grimsson and Myra
Benedict throwing each
other into ropes of barbed wire... the crowd giving both women a
standing ovation as they leave...]
#Band up on the stage.#
#Crowd is going wild.#
#I love to see the women, babe.#
#I ain't in denial.#
[Lolita Love squaring off with Amazing Grace... Leanna Love pinning
Holly Hotbody to win the Psycho Driver Tag team titles... Felicity
across the ring to both her sister Rose and her mentor Crimson...
Felicity turning on Crimson, punching him right in the face... Felicity
and Tesla St.
James brawling in the middle of the ring... the two women shaking hands
afterwards... "Tornado" Tara Smith looking into her hometown crowd as
the aisle... and her victory to regain the MBC Women's Championship...]
#Make you crazy too.#
#Make you shove it out.#
#Lookin' good, get some wood.#
#You knew you should, you knew you could.#
[Stan Crawford and "Hellraiser" Tom Landis punching away at one
another... smashing through tables... Crawford cracking Landis over the
head to draw blood
and win back his Smash Bash Crucify Championship... Team Canada
awaiting their opponents... "Dr, EMS" Eric Matthew Somers bringing out
Cooper... the two teams squaring off outside the ring... Vengeance
being announced as the newly elected president...]
#Rock out - do it now.#
#My, my, my, show me how.#
#Rock out - make it good.#
#Break your heart.#
#Shake your blood.#
[And finally, we see images from the Ballbreaker Cage Match... Crimson
and One-Winged Angel brawling on top of the cage... both men falling
top... Angel hanging upside down by one foot... Crimson using him like
a human piñata... 1WA then coming off the top turnbuckle... and
holding his newly won World Championship above his head. The image
lingers before it gives way to the guitar solo and logo...]
________ ________ ______ __ __________
/_ __/ // / __/ // / __ \/ / / / __/ __/
/ / / _ / _// _ / /_/ / /_/ /\ \/ _/
/ __ \/ __/
/ /_/ / _/
___ ___ __\____/_/___ ___ ___ ____
/ _ )/ _ | / __/_ __/ _ | / _ \/ _ \/ __/
/ _ / __ |_\ \ / / / __ |/ , _/ // /\ \
/____/_/ |_/___/ /_/ /_/ |_/_/|_/____/___/
J U L Y 1 3 t h , 2 0 0 6
R E U N I O N A R E N A
D A L L A S , T X
H O U R O N E
[The logo fades as the music continues on triumphantly. We are once
again taken to the interior of the mighty mighty Reunion Arena, home of
telecasts than anyone can really remember. Okay, so more than likely
there will be one or two people who CAN remember how many have been
here. I mean, even
after ten years, somebody has to have kept track. That's what stat
nerds are for!]
Skullhead: Welcome everyone to the House of Bastards!
[Ah, taken back to reality. Our cameras pan the crowd looking for
hotties, signs, hotties with signs and signs with hotties. All in the
daily dose of
mayhem here in the MBC.]
Skullhead: We're less than a month away from our ten year anniversary
and the MBC train keeps rolling forward. Yet again we have an exciting
Slush: What's this Tour de France crap man? Have you seen this?
[Our cameras then move to our announcers. God help us all. At right as
Skullhead: Lots of debuts this week. The new blood keeps flowing.
[At center, Pinhead.]
Pinhead: What are you rambling on about Slush?
[At left, Slush.]
Slush: There is a dude named LANDIS in this Tour de France. Why is the
Landis bloodline allowed to propagate?
[And in a cage, the ever wonderful and marketable, Tinkle.]
Slush: And his name is FLOYD Landis! Come on! Is he like the barber of
the Landis clan?
Pinhead: I somehow don't think they're related.
Slush: Once a Landis always a Landis. And if you're Landis you're bad
in my book. Super bad. Super super evil bad.
Pinhead: And why is that?
Slush: because I HATE TOM LANDIS!
Pinhead: Good, let's get this out of the way now.
Skullhead: Debuting tonight are three up and coming talents. First up
we have Mariko Shimada, who many fans will recognize from NAWC. After a
long lay off,
the man known as Johnathan "The beast" Cable is making his MBC debut.
And to finish off the first action packed hour, we will see the first
championship appearance of "The Fantasy" Brett Young.
Slush: All of them sound like losers. Like this Floyd Landis tool.
Pinhead: You don't mean that.
Slush; Sure I do. Just multiply the bile that's crawling up my throat
because I hate Landis to much.
Pinhead: That sounds appetizing.
Skullhead; In our second hour we have a one on one contest between two
of our recent arrivals. "Heavy Mental" Dave Pietka will face off with
Pinhead: Pietka seems rather distracted with this new "girlfriend".
Slush; Women. Who needs em? I sure don't.
Pinhead: And we come back to the Slushisms and my now cliché
responses. Slush, Taylor MacKenzie is a woman.
Slush: So says you and the idiots who do the schedule here at the MBC.
I know Taylor is a man.
Pinhead: Why is Taylor in the main event then?
Slush: Because he deserves it.
Pinhead: But it's a women's match.
Slush: Taylor transcends gender.
Pinhead: I don't even know what that means.
Skullhead: And yes, in our main event, the deadly trio of Kari Stevens
and the Babe Squad represent the Sisterhood of Seduction as they face a
unlikely team of Tara Smith, Taylor MacKenzie and Susan Davis.
Pinhead: I never thought I'd see Davis and Smith on the same team.
Skullhead: Like you never thought you'd see Tara Smith and Kyle Lee be
friendly with one another.
Pinhead: Or go out on a date. UWF has provided me with proof. They went
to an awards show together.
Slush: Bah, it's hardly a date unless you go to the movie and try the
Slush: See, it's where you get some popcorn and...
Pinhead: Okay, quite enough of that. Skullhead, tell us about our first
Slush: Hey, I'm trying to educate the hamster.
Pinhead: I think he'll be fine if you let him be ignorant. Ignorance
goes well with incontinence.
Skullhead: You would think that Mariko Shimada is just another
thrillseeker, looking for the next big heart thumping fun.
Slush: She can chase Tom Landis with a spear!
Skullhead: But she's definitely got talent. She put together a very
impressive winning streak in NAWC and she most certainly intends to do
the same here in
Slush: She'd be a winner in my book if she chased Tom Landis with a
Pinhead: Given the nature of the MBC's women's division, that'll be
hard. But you could say the same thing for NAWC.
Slush: You know, a spear is a good tool to chase Tom Landis with.
Pinhead: Okay, what's with the spear thing?
Slush: It sounds fun.
Pinhead: It sounds phallic.
Slush: If I knew the meaning of that word I'd kick your ass.
Skullhead; Let's go to this segment with Ms. Shimada.
[The 'pimped' out semi-stretch SUV sits on chromed out twenty-four inch
rims. The color is such a dark blue it all most looks black, the
of metallic material mixed into the paint looking all most like stars.
What you notice isn't the paint job. What you notice isn't the rims.
Not even the blacked out widows. What you notice is the sheer aural
earth shaking, window rattling beat. The song is recognizable as Ridin'
Dirty by Chamillionaire. It's harder to tell that it's the West Coast
featuring DJ Quick and The Game.
You'd call it a moving noise ordinance violation, except its parked.
It's kinda neat though cause the rims are still spinning. So it looks
moving all most. Actually, I always thought that was kinda stupid, but
you know them kids and their crazy little fads.
So then the question becomes, who's inside? Is Myra Benedict trying to
'fit in' with her new friends? Are her new friends inside? Are the Vibe
town? Better get your vest on!
When the door swings open, suicide style, there is not a member of
Amity nor a professional rapper inside, but a woman. Well, a woman in
general terms. In
more specific terms she is one hell of a woman. Devilish grin on blue
lips spread across a pixie-ish face, she has short blue hair, done in a
vinyl 'hooker' boots with a six inch wedge heel. Covered in black
buckles the boots end just above her knee, about five inches short of
the black spandex
short shorts with a blue firebird emblem on the right thigh. Some kind
of black fur lines the collar of her half open black velvet vest.
toned and taut six-pack abs are bare. Most of her olive skinned torso
is underneath the vest in fact. Only a blue lacy looking bra covers her
Yet it seems much more revealing than it is, as there's nothing more
than a hint of flesh visible through the pattern of swirling, flowery
blue fabric. The
big chest looks all most like it doesn't quite fit her body type,
without being quite that large. Still most would assume that she's had
correctly, but that's another story.
Her well manicured hand reaches up and turns down the music real low.]
WOMAN: Well, get in.
[Her voice is impatient. The camera moves in and sits across from her
at a diagonal. The door is closed and the scene in the background
WOMAN: In about, oh, I don't know, a matter of hours I'll be making my
in-ring debut for the Mighty Bastards in the House of Bastards.
[The devious smirk extends just a bit larger, showing glittering white
teeth. Perfect teeth.]
WOMAN: I guess I should introduce myself, officially, for the record.
However, for the record, anyone who doesn't know my name doesn't
deserve to speak it.
[Quite full of herself, she is.]
WOMAN: I am the woman who spent the last seven months undefeated in
singles competition, losing only one tag team match by
disqualification... Mind you my
partner and I walked away... Our opponents did not... The Crown Jewel
of Women's Wrestling... The Sapphire Phoenix... Founding member of the
half of the PWN Stars... And now the Number One Bitch in Bastardland...
[She pauses for the ever so dramatic effect that speaking her very name
shall cause. As if saying her name in direct correlation with her list
self-aggrandizing nick names would shatter the minds of our 'simple
viewers' at home.]
WOMAN: Mariko Shimada.
[And there you have it. The NAWC's super-bitch Mariko Shimada is in the
House of Bustards. And if she continues the trend of ever more
one-uppings, MBC might be in some serious trouble.]
MARIKO: What you and this Holina girl will quickly learn is that you do
not trifle with your superiors... It's going to be bad enough what I do
to you when
I'm in a playful mood. No need to tease the tigress, so to speak.
[Mariko looks quite pleased with her turn of phrase.]
MARIKO: But an example must be set. First you Holina, then the rest of
these Bastards. Man, woman, child or small animal, if you step into
that ring I will
consider you a target.
[Her voice sounds very confident. She's not messing around, even though
she may not quite know what she's biting off.]
MARIKO: This business is about one thing, the spotlight and by default
the spotlight belongs to ME!
[She crosses her arms below her chest and leans forward. The effect is
_definitely_ worth a spotlight.]
MARIKO: Me or a few other special friends of mine.
[She licks her lips and waves with her finger tips into the camera,
then speaks in a low, sultry voice.]
MARIKO: Hi, Devin!
[She takes a moment and then seems to suddenly remember something. Her
smile becomes a little lopsided.]
MARIKO: And I didn't forget about you either Davey.
[She throws a wink at the camera and the scene fades.]
__ _______ _____________________________________________
/ |/ / __ )/ ____/
/ /|_/ / __ / /
/ / / / /_/ / /___ MARIKO SHIMADA vs LADY HOLINA
|____________________________________________Writer: Andre Dec
Skullhead: Coming up next, the debuts of Mariko Shimada, a very gifted
young athlete who's already tasted success in the NAWC, and Lady
Holina, a recent
graduate of the MBC wrestling training program.
Slush: Man, what is it with all the girls being named Holly around
here? Holina, Holly Hotbody, Holly Grimsson, Holly Osawa-
Pinhead: "Holly Osawa?"
Slush: The t-shirt guys figured they could spell 'Ryu' more easily
since they had all the extra letters.
Pinhead: You really have no idea what you're talking about half the
time, do you?
Skullhead: 50% is a conservative number.
Slush: Which is why the ACLU hates it.
["Poison" by Groove Coverage kicks in over the loudspeakers as the
arena lights begin to slowly pulse. Holina makes her way through the
throwing her hands up in the air. The tatters of a silver "prom dress",
smudged makeup, and a sash reading "Homecoming Queen" make up her ring
outfit. Her brown hair is tussled and tangled, seemingly only held back
from her face by a "tiara". The crowd's response is moderate as she
way to the ring, slapping the hands of the people along the aisle]
Skullhead: Wow. Not every day you hear a dance mix of Alice Cooper.
Slush: Yeah, but that's only in months without an R.
[Holina rolls under the bottom rope and takes off the tiara, whipping
it into the crowd as the music fades]
Skullhead: Souvenir for some lucky fan.
Slush: Or a lawsuit for an unlucky one.
[the music shifts to "Girls Attractive" by Diamond Nights, and the
pulsing lights are replaced with a low fade and a single spotlight
focusing on the
entrance ramp. The lovely Mariko Shimada steps into the spotlight, in
stark contrast to the prom leftover in the ring-a serious of whistles
as she walks
down the ramp]
Skullhead: We should be seeing a contrast of styles here.
Slush: As well as a contrast in fashion choices.
[Shimada slowly climbs the ring steps and locks eyes with Lady Holina,
who cracks her knuckles as she waits in the ring]
Pinhead: This could be a very violent affair.
Slush: And on basic cable, no less. Take that, HBO.
[as the bell rings, the two lock up, with Shimada gaining a quick
advantage with a headbutt to the bridge of Holina's nose. As Holina
Shimada bounces off the ropes and does a stunning cartwheel leading to
a knee strike to Holina's head. Holina falls back into the corner, and
follows her in with a spear to the midsection. Holina slumps into a
sitting position, and Shimada, wasting no time, presses herself up on
the corner ropes
into a handstand-before bringing both feet sharply down into the chest
Slush: Fairly even match so far.
Slush: What? Not like Holina's down for the count yet.
[Sure enough, Shimada pulls Holina back to the middle of the ring where
she claps her hands and jumps in a standing shooting star press-that
nothing but knee to the face. As Shimada rolls off, clutching at her
own nose, a thin line of red dots under her right nostril. Holina is
to rise, but as Shimada checks her nose to make sure there is no
serious damage, she discovers the red is merely makeup left after the
is returned as Holina drops Shimada to the mat with a boot to the
midsection followed by a faceslam. HUGE crowd pop!]
Kickout forcefully by Shimada!
[Holina, still affected from the beating, is slow to her feet as
Shimada rises more on adrenalin and anger-a stiff chop to the throat
takes out Holina's
wind, and a whip into the ropes is followed by a flying clothesline
that gives Shimada a major advantage. Shimada is quick to lift Holina
up, cradling one
leg and hoisting Holina up onto her shoulder for the Witch Burner]
Slush: They must not be teaching those students much about the business
[Holina begins pumping her free leg, however, as Shimada is unable to
grab both, and Holina forces herself back to the mat, onto her own
feet, where she
twists her body and uses Shimada's grip on her leg as leverage for a
Hunter Screw Leg Whip-HUGE POP from the crowd]
Skullhead: Incredible! Using her own leg as a straight edge and
twisting her weight into Shimada's legs, she was able to hit a reversal
akin to a Dragon
Screw Leg Whip!
Slush: Yeah, like we haven't seen that a hundred times before.
Slush: No, YOUR Mama.
[Shimada, surprised by the counter, is unable to block in time as she
is splashed into the corner by a charging Holina, who hops to the
and lands a series of punches to Shimada's forehead. On the ramp, a
figure appears in a trench coat, rushing down to the ring with flips of
showing bare legs underneath]
Skullhead: What the hell is Dave Pietka doing out here?
Slush: Maybe he was her prom date and someone stole his tux.
[Holina grabs Shimada's arms as she plants her feet in her midsection,
falling back into a monkeyflip where the arms are stretched taut and
is fully controlled. Shimada hits the canvas with a small bounce and
clutches her back, and Holina rolls on top of her for a pin]
Pinhead: Holina with something to prove out here this week, and Dave
Pietka trying to prevent that from happening.
Slush: Much like Columbo, the Faulty Hypothesis!
Slush: I dunno, just came to me.
[Holina bounces off the ropes and pitches head first to the mat,
slamming a headbutt into Shimada's shoulder as Pietka climbs the ring
steps. With a
thumbs up to the crowd, Holina sprints for the ropes, only to stop as
she sees Pietka standing there]
Skullhead: And Holina yelling at him to get out of there!
Pinhead: Pietka making some pretty lewd gestures there, and this is
turning into a pretty serious argument.
Slush: You know, you'd really think this would be turning me on right
about now, but nothing.
[Referee O. Migod gets into the act, starting a count for Pietka to
leave the ring apron. Mariko slowly rises to her feet as Holina balls
into a fist, threatening to swing at Pietka. Pietka's response, as the
count hits four, is to undo the front of his trench coat and flash the
Slush: NO! THIS way! Damn it, he's wasting perfectly good nudity on
that side of the audience!
Pinhead: Some of us are thankful we're still in the blind spot, Slush.
Slush: It's all about potential. He turns around and I'm one step
closer to making Taylor my Spud for life.
Slush: Well, don't CALL for him! You make me sound desperate!
[Holina turns, covering her eyes, as the referee shields his own while
ordering Pietka down. Holina's position proves advantageous as Mariko
strikes with a thumb to the throat, setting her up once again for the
Witch Burner muscle buster. Blinded and stunned by the thumb strike,
both legs, gets the running start and falls to a seated position. As
Holina slumps to the mat, the crowd jeers with Shimada simply reclining
for the pin]
RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this contest... MARIKO SHIMADA!
Skullhead: A valiant effort by Lady Holina, but a big win here in the
debut for Mariko Shimada. She's... what's she doing?
[Pietka slowly removes his overcoat to reveal a "PWNstars" T-shirt and
short shorts under the trench coat. Mariko jumps into his arms, and a
graphic hugging ensues]
Slush: No, it's like City of Heroes. He's Teh Pwn0xx0r, you know?
Slush: Yeah, the beanbag gun's frickin' A.
[The camera fades in to the outer door of the Reunion Arena, where four
people stand outside the door. Two of the four are security guards.
two are wearing grey fedoras. Jimmy O'Neal stands with the security
guards and block Simon O'Neal from entering the arena. The O'Neals are
it's being picked up by the camera...]
SO: What the [MEEP] do you mean, 'Banned'?
JO: You heard me, dad. You don't have a match tonight, and your
actions last week...
SO: What, the Crawford match? Hey, you yourself said...
JO: Hold up, pops... nah, I don't care about Crawford. If you want
to annoy a violent sociopath for kicks, that's your business. I'm
talking about your
SO: What other activities?
[Jimmy reaches into a box and pulls out an envelope]
JO: There was this mysterious envelope found in the locker of referee
SO: It must have been from the envelope fairy.
[Jimmy reaches into the box again]
JO: ... the bottle of Scotch in the locker of referee Billy Williams
SO: And you're not going O'Brien?
JO: It still had alcohol in it, dad.
SO: [pause] Point.
[One last item from the box...]
JO: And the videotape we found in the locker of referee Carl Taylor,
along with the letter saying that if he doesn't 'see the light', it'll
go to his
SO: And how does any of this tie in with me?
JO: The videotape used to hold one of my hockey games, pops.
SO: Look, I can explain...
JO: Don't. Mister Lee said I could ban you this week as a lesson.
Next time it'll be for a month. Go on home... OK?
[Cursing with a series of [MEEP]s, Simon backs up a few steps.]
SO: You are _so_ grounded tomorrow...
JO: Social Services, dad. I've got their number on speed dial.
[More curses as Simon stomps off. Jimmy picks up the videotape.]
JO: I'd better see what Carl's trying to hide. Let's go.
[The camera fades to black as Jimmy walks away.]
Slush: You know, Jimmy O'Neal could learn a lot from my son.
Pinhead: Who, Damien?
Slush: Pfft, I disowned him long ago. I'm talking about my real son,
Pinhead: Damien IS your real son.
Slush: I'm sure DNA test would say otherwise.
Pinhead: Only if its one of your stupid Danza Nookie Analysis tests.
Slush: Don't knock my DNA!
Pinhead: God seems to have beaten me to it.
Skullhead: The trials of the O'Neals continue on. Simon is getting ever
closer to the top of his bastardly game but Jimmy is knocking him down
notches, perhaps pushing himself up to that top spot in the future.
Pinhead: Like father like bastard.
Slush: I would know.
Pinhead: Bloody hell you would!
Skullhead: Gentlemen... ah forget it. Turn their mics off.
Skullhead: Our next wrestler to debut this evening is... well he's an
interesting case. He's been out of the sport for quite a while but he's
return tonight. Not much has been seen of him lately, so we have this
segment for those who are both familiar and unfamiliar with the man
"The Beast" Cable.
[The scene fades from black to a panning shot of a simple newsroom,
twirling around the studio from right to left. A news beat pulses in
and the title flashes across the screen in red letters.]
"Between the Ropes, with Chuck Fenedy..."
[The camera finishes its path, and settles upon a man seated behind a
newsroom anchor desk, perhaps in his early thirties, wearing a gray
pressed and creased professionally, his short blonde hair reminiscent
of news anchors of old.]
Fenedy: "Ladies and Gentleman... welcome to the show... I'm Chuck
Fenedy, and this is... Between the Ropes. Last week, we discussed the
"Firebird" Katie Smith, as she stepped into the ring for first time
here in the MBC against "Armageddon" Georgia Church. Lady Luck was with
Week in her debut, and she has come out on top... one win. We'll see
how she does in the weeks to come."
Fenedy: "Today, on Between the Ropes, we will take a look at yet
another newcomer to the MBC... Johnathan "The Beast" Cable. Now... I
gotta' tell you...
this episode is not for the weak of heart. I had never heard of this
Cable guy before we started doing research for this episode, but he has
history of Hardcore Titles and Tag Team Championships in a number of
other Companies. Some of his hardcore matches have gotten special
notice overseas in
the Japanese market, and to be honest, only the most insane matches
catch a break overseas!"
Fenedy: "Let's take a look at the career of Johnathan Cable..."
[The scene fades to black again, and posters flash across the screen
advertising an underground fighting organization. "The Beast" is tagged
as a brutal
brawler from the streets of Jacksonville, Florida. Several pictures of
him at a younger age show a fairly handsome man of massive build and
flesh. Then, one last poster flashes across the screen.]
"COME ONE AND ALL.
WITNESS THE GREATEST FIGHT OF THE CENTURY!
SEE... ONCE AND FOR ALL... BRIAN BANNON TAKE ON THE AWESOME FORCE OF
JOHNATHAN "THE BEAST" CABLE!
See the show down months in the making... two monsters go at it, toe to
toe, for your viewing pleasure. Two men will enter the cage, and one
man will rise
to meet the challenge. Who will leave the cage the Ultimate Underground
Champion? Only time will tell. Don't miss the action."
[The scene fades to black once more. Spotlights flash in the darkness,
and the silhouette of a massive man flashes across the screen. Scenes
Cable dolling out punishment on a number of men, and across the bottom
of the screen runs a ticker of information.]
Ticker: "Johnathan "The Beast" Cable: IEA 1999-2001. 2 Time Hardcore
Champion/1 Time Intercontinental Champion/2 Time Tag Team Champion.
Enforcer of the
[The scene flashes of a few faces over and over again, and then the
scene fades and we see three men standing over a limp Cable in the
middle of the ring.
They walk away just as several guys enter the ramp area and make their
way down to the ring. They look down at the incapacitated Cable, and
the ring at each other in turn... then begin to lay waste to "the
Cable: "I'm coming for you Corvik... It's time for a hunt."
[The scene fades from black and more scenes of random matches involving
Cable flash across. The ring is new, and stage is different, and a new
clocks the progress across the bottom of the screen.]
Ticker: "Johnathan "The Beast" Cable: EWCL 2001-2003. 2 Time Extreme
Champion/2 Time Tag Team Champion. 2002 EWCL Tag Team of the Year(New
EWCL Tag Team of the Year(New Breed)/Leader of the New
Evolution(2001-2002)/Leader of the New Breed(2003)"
[The scene fades from scene to scene of matches in the EWCL against
several people, and then a clip plays of a Extreme match between Cable
and a man named
[The clip shows a ring of cars on a parking garage rooftop, weapons
scattered everywhere, windows smashed, and both men bleeding and
battered. Strait Hate
crawls to his feet, and digs in a truck of a car. He pulls out a small
plastic bag of fluid, and turns on Cable. He pulls back and blasts him
in the face
from a few feet away. Cable chokes on the fluid, and tries to wipe it
away, then gets a shocked look on his face that shift swiftly to
horror. Hate pulls
a Zippo from his tights, and flicks the switch as a fire blazes to
life. He tosses it at Cable and he blazes to life, ignited in a moment.
His face begins
to melt before he manages to get the fires out.]
[The matches flash again and now Cable has a black leather faceplate
mask, his shoulders slightly hunched, and his hair, greasy and curled,
faceplate. Matches flash a moment, and then faces of men flash over and
over again, then they are shown together on a Royal Family Poster.
Several of the
men seem familiar from the IEA clips of before. The scene flashes of
Cable losing to several of the Family members. Then, another clip
flashes of an EWCL
[The lights fade out... the arena goes black and the hoots and
cat-calls in the audience are deafening in the stark silence. The
speakers blaze to life
with the hard drum line of Trust by Megadeath... and the lights flare
to life! Blue and white spotlights twist at odd angles around the
arena, flying past
the thousands of faces. They turn all around, twisting and bouncing off
of the masses in attendance. The guitar slides in to join the drum
line. The steel
strings of the lead guitar are loud, the notes held for a long time...
Suddenly, there is a loud crash, and the music stops and the lights go
out as there is a loud explosion in the crowd. Fire flashes in the
flashlights blaze to life in the seats, and it seems as if a sound
table has been torched. Then, in the chaos, a single spotlight cuts
through the dark,
and settles on a man, high above the ring, on a small catwalk in the
rafters. In his arms, he is holding a woman in a New Breed t-shirt...
Jessica! She is
slumped in his arms as if dead, draped and lifeless in his hands.
The man looks down, his mouth wide and sagging in shock and fear. He
turns, and we see the scars that crease his face, and we know that this
is the Beast.
He steps backwards once... twice... and then turns and makes his way
out of the spotlight, and a door opens casting light into the arena,
and then they
Dean Thornton: "What?!??! What that The Beast, Cable himself? What did
he do to Jessica? Did he hurt her, did he kill her? What's wrong with
he made himself a suspect after Stephen Jackson got hit by that car and
now this. What is going on in the head of that guy?"
Neil Down: Damn!!
Dean Thornton: Yes really Damn.
Neil Down: No I mean, I could almost see Jessica's panties from here..
Dean Thornton: THE GIRL COULD BE DEAD AND ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS HER
PANTIES!!! You should be ashamed of yourself!
Neil Down: .....
JP: So... hmmm... what this means is that we got a handicap match in
our hands here. Damien's gotta' face Nick and Victor on his own.
[DING DING DING...]
[The scene fades to black and then back to the News desk at "Between
the Ropes" where Chuck Fenedy is seated, rigidly.]
Fenedy: "So... A mysterious masked man, burnt to a crisp in the Extreme
division of several Companies, who may have been involved in a murder
EWCL... has come to the MBC after three years of being gone from the
spotlight of the ring. This definitely sounds like it is raising more
it's answering. Let's take it to Karen Baxter, who is standing by with
none other, than Johnathan "The Beast" Cable."
[The scene fades to a small open air cafe in a bustling city's
downtown. Tall buildings loom overhead, and block out the sky save for
a small blue dot far
overhead. Traffic passes by in waves as the millions of lights direct
the flow of the rat race being struggled through only feet away. With
all of the
hustle and bustle so near, the small cafe, set with gleaming white
metal tables and matching white patio furniture is an oasis of
serenity. The gentle
breeze lifts the branches of nearby trees, and birds chirp softly in
the early summer afternoon.]
Sitting at a small table away from the cafe is a young woman, pixie cut
brunette hair, long, long tan legs jutting provocatively from a
business suit. She sits, impatiently, waiting for someone to show up.]
Baxter: "Well Chuck, I was supposed to be sitting here with Johnathan
Cable... but as of yet, he has not shown today."
[Just then, another young woman, this one a stunning blonde, makes her
way towards Karen Baxter's table.]
Jessica: "Ms. Baxter? Hi... my name's Jessica. John apologizes for not
being here today, something came up at the last minute, and he had to
go, but he
said that he would try to make it before the end of the interview. I
can answer any questions you may have."
[Karen look nearly stunned... and watches as Jessica takes a seat at
the table, and places a drink order with the waitress.]
Jessica: "Well, whenever you're ready, we can get this started. John
probably won't be long."
Baxter: "This is supposed to be an interview with Johnathan Cable. He
has a debut coming up, and we were hoping to get some comments from him
his match with "D-Day" Harley Sanders."
Jessica: "Oh, well that's great. We have been talking about him coming
back for a year or so now. It was really eating him up being away from
business. Once you have a taste of the lights, and the fans, it's
almost impossible to ever be the same again. You know what I mean?"
Baxter: "Um... yeah I do but, we really were hoping to get an interview
Jessica: "So, anyway... John and I have come to terms with some things,
and we have decided that it is time he made his comeback, and maybe
gold back home. It has been forever since I have seen the gleam in his
eyes like he has when he used to look at his Titles. It's funny that a
metal can be so important, but once you have one, it is kinda the
purpose of the pain, right?"
Baxter: "Yes... of course... but like I said, we were supposed to be
meeting with Joh..."
Jessica: "Yeah, we looked into a few companies, and checked out some of
the talent floating around in the business these days, and then we got
a call from
a friend of ours. He told us to look into the MBC, so we did. Top notch
company you guys have there. Some real talent working their way up
ropes, and I know talent. I have been around John and the guys for a
few years now, and have seen SO many crazy things! You guys have a
looking show, and decent crowds. John and I will be happy to be back in
the spotlight, and giving the fans the excitement they deserve."
Baxter: "OK.. but 'Between the Ropes' is not affiliated with the MBC.
We just happen to cover a lot of the action in Feds like the MBC.
Now... if you will
excuse me, when john has time to meet with me, please have him ca..."
[Just then Jessica looks towards the street as a late model dark grey
topless Jeep pulls up to a parking meter. Johnathan Cable makes his way
sidewalk, and plunks 50 cents into the meter. He makes his way towards
the table as Jessica rushes over to him and kisses him passionately.]
Cable: "Ms. Baxter, I'm sorry I couldn't be here on time. Some
important business came up. If you're about ready, I guess we can get
Baxter: "Alright. I don't have much time left, so we will have to
[The scene fades to black, and then back into the newsroom studio where
Chuck Fenedy sits patiently at the anchor desk.]
Fenedy: "Well folks... it seems that we are out of time for this
edition of 'Between the Ropes'. Maybe Karen Baxter will track down her
Johnathan Cable next time. Until then... I'm Chuck Fenedy, and this is
'Between the Ropes'. Good night."
[The scene fades back to the arena.]
Pinhead: So how did we get that footage?
Skullhead: Professional considerations.
Slush: Ah, it's good to know that the sensationalism school of
journalism is alive and well. It's like "A Current Affair" but with
Skullhead: At least is provides us with a little more insight into
Johnathan Cable and what he's about. Though as time passes, I'm sure
we'll learn more.
Pinhead: Most importantly, we should learn a lot in this match of his.
Slush: Poor, dumb bastard Sanders. I think he's going to get throttled.
Pinhead: He gets throttled every match.
Slush: Yeah but I'm thinking this Cable dude will turn him into chicken
nuggets. That'd be great.
Skullhead: Hopefully it won't come to that. But we'll see. Lets get to
__ _______ _____________________________________________
/ |/ / __ )/ ____/
/ /|_/ / __ / / JOHNATHAN "THE BEAST" CABLE
/ / / / /_/ / /___ vs "D-DAY" HARLEY SANDERS
|________________________________________Writer: J.J. Robertson
[Once Cable makes it into the ring, he, the ref and many at ringside
look around, confused, wondering why Sanders hasn't come out for his
yet. This lasts for nearly a minute before the camera switches to the
ring announcer Shawni McKenzie, where it is clear she is receiving some
After a moment, Shawni takes up a mic to address the crowd, and ring.]
RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, due to injuries relating to...
[Shawni looks at the piece of paper that was brought to her. She raises
an eyebrow, waits a moment to process the seemingly strange information
RING ANNOUNCER: Due to injuries relating to a... freak accident,
"D-Day" Harley Sanders will not be able to wrestle tonight as
[A more sympathetic crowd would care, but this is an MBC crowd. The
only ones who care are the people who brought chicken feed to throw at
RING ANNOUNCER: Taking his place and making his MBC debut, hailing from
Cincinnati, Ohio here is "DESTINY" DAVE ROBBINS!!
[Robbins runs down to the ring, oblivious to the fan confusion. he
slides into the ring and quickly to his feet. Coming up to meet Cable,
both men touch
fists briefly in greeting as the bell rings to start the match.]
Slush: Who is this guy?
Skullhead: He was going to make his MBC debut here in the next few
weeks. I suppose he caught a lucky break.
[Cable immediately surges forward with a punch that clips Robbins on
the arm as he tries to move in. Robbins counters with a punch of his
own even as he
takes a second punch from Cable, and then the two men are off, rabidly
trading strikes in the middle of the ring. the crowd, surprised by the
exchange, start picking up as the two men hammer away. However, slowly,
cable gets the better of it over Robbins and begins backing the man up
ropes and landing more punches. Just before he's knocked back into the
ropes, Robbins bobs to the side, avoiding a punch and catching the arm.
he redirects Cable around and into a stiff knee to the midsection, then
follows his opponent down to the mat, scrambling to apply a submission
Cable hits the mat, his free hand snakes out and catches the rope,
forcing a break. Quickly, both men roll apart and make it to their
feet, coming back to
center ring and eyeing each other more carefully.]
Slush: How did Sanders injure himself anyways?
Pinhead: According to the information I've been given... huh...
Pinhead: He injured himself in a freak sperm donation accident. That's
all the info I have.
[Both men circle, measuring each other up carefully. As one, both men
come forward again. Robbins ducks under a lock-up attempt to go for
Cable aborts his grab to throw out a kick, which Robbins rolls away
from to avoid. Charging, Cable tries to catch Robbins with a knee, but
scores only a
glancing blow when Robbins proves faster. However, the blow unbalances
him just enough that he's thrown into the ropes. when he tries to come
back from it,
Cable is waiting and delivers a heavy falling elbow that catches
Robbins across the back of the head and knocks him flat. A pair of
quick knees assures
Cable that Robbins won't be trying to go anywhere anytime soon and
allows Cable to stand, pulling Robbins up with him. As he lifts Robbins
for a vertical
Suplex, Robbins suddenly comes alive, twisting out of it and coming
down with Cable in a sleeperhold, then kicking his opponents legs out
from over him and
letting both fall to the mat so that Cable lands with Robbins knees in
his back and the sleeperhold still locked in.]
Skullhead: Good move by Robbins.
Pinhead: If not desperate.
[Cable struggles for a moment to get out, but proves not to have the
leverage to break the hold. Instead, he gathers himself, fighting with
strength to make his feet, then hoists Robbins up onto his back. the
fans, excited by the already impressive display by both men begin
cheering as Cable
charges across the ring, picking up speed as he goes. as he nears the
turnbuckles, he heaves, using his impressive strength to strip Robbins
off his back
and whip him down, face first into the top turnbuckle. As Robbins
staggers from it, it is easy for Cable to swoop in and pick him up for
a torture rack,
then turn it into Diamond cutter that lays Robbins out on the mat. as
the crowd explodes, Cable covers for a pin.]
RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this contest.. JOHNATHAN "THE BEAST"
Skullhead: That's about as strong of a debut that anyone can have.
Pinhead: Robbins will be hurting for days, if not weeks. Still, he put
on a very good outing.
Slush: Heheheheh... stupid Sanders.
Pinhead: Are you still going on about that?
Slush: Why shouldn't I? It's funny.
Pinhead: And demeaning.
Slush: Not my fault he broke himself.
Slush: Oh that is very true. Ironic.
Pinhead: I know where you are going and I think it's time we took a
Slush: But don't you want to know about the chicken who...
[Cut to backstage. We've got two people in the production room... two
people that have nothing to do with producing the show, but they are
They would be the 15-year-old fraternal twin siblings, Howie and Julie
Somers. They appear to be studying video, as one could surmise from
Howie: ...and that is how you do the spinebuster.
Julie: This is so cool! I wonder if we can find any footage of
Howie: We may need to look at somebody else for that.
"So this is where the two of you have been."
[Howie and Julie turn to look at the owner of the voice we just
...and it belongs to Sarah Sharpe, manager of Rough N' Ready.]
Sarah: And may I ask what the two of you are doing.
Howie: It's OK, Ms. Sharpe... we have permission to be here.
Julie: We're watching video of our Uncle Eric wrestling... so we can
learn how to be wrestlers ourselves!
Howie: We need to watch other footage, though, if we want to learn how
to do more than the stuff our Uncle Eric does.
[Sarah folds her arms.]
Sarah: Please tell me you aren't serious.
Julie: You know we are! We told you a few weeks ago that we want to
Howie: So we figured this was a good place to start.
Sarah: I realize the two of you are serious about wrestling, but this
is definitely not a good place to start. You can't just watch a bunch
of videos and
expect to learn how to wrestle.
Howie: Then what do we do?
Sarah: You train for it... just like I did, like my husband did and
like your Uncle Eric did.
Julie: No problem then... we can go apply to Tesla St. James' school of
Sarah: When you don't have a high school diploma yet?
[Howie and Julie look puzzled.]
Howie: What does that have anything to do with it?
Sarah: Because I talked to Tesla when the two of you said you wanted to
be wrestlers, and she said she wants those who come to her school to
high school diplomas before they start. She believes a good education
Julie: But we'll have to wait two years for our diplomas! It's not
Howie: Yeah... Nina Grimsson started wrestling at 17. Why can't we
start at 15?
Sarah: You forgot that Nina Grimsson graduated from high school
early... but regardless of when she graduated, I'm sure she would tell
you as well that
you should get your diploma.
Julie: Even if we are home schooled?
Sarah: Even then... now, why don't you two come with me... I think
you've been watching videos long enough.
Julie: Well, if Tesla won't train us yet, what about you?
[Sarah is about to speak, but Howie gets in a word first.]
Howie: Yeah, why not... you know how to wrestle and we can trust you...
you could show us what you know.
[Sarah shakes her head.]
Sarah: You two just aren't going to give up this quest, are you?
Julie: No way! Uncle Eric always told us to never stop pursuing your
Sarah: [nodding] I'm sure he did. [A sigh.] OK, I'll make you a deal...
I'll give you some training in wrestling if you promise you will be
take your time in learning the craft. You aren't going to be sent out
into the ring until you have got everything down pat.
Howie: That's fair.
Sarah: I'm not finished... you will also see to it that you get your
home-schooling done and you will not wrestle your first match until you
completed it if that is what Kyle Lee and Tesla St. James tell you do.
Is that understood?
[Julie looks disappointed, but Howie nods.]
Howie: I understand, Ms. Sharpe.
Julie: Yeah, yeah... me too.
Sarah: All right then... now come with me. As I said, you can't just
learn about wrestling by watching videos... this is a serious business
and you will
take the training seriously, all right?
Julie: Yeah, yeah... OK.
Sarah: Then let's go.
[She ushers the twins out of the production room as the shot fades
Slush: Oh god! The munchkins are going to wrestle!
Pinhead: Are you afraid that they'd show you up?
Slush: Yes, I mean no.
Skullhead: If they're prepared for the business then I'd encourage them
to follow their dreams. And though I don't know Sarah Sharpe all that
pretty sure she'll keep those kids grounded in the fact that this can
be a very harsh sport.
Slush: Yeah, just look what it did to their uncle.
Pinhead: Make him a mountain of a man that could crush your skull with
just a squeeze?
Slush: Ummm... I suppose.
Skullhead: We've covered this repeatedly on this show, but wrestling is
something that definitely gets into the blood. Just look at all the
in the MBC.
Pinhead: Which shows why the people here can be so tight knit.
Slush: Like me and my son, One-Winged Angel.
Skullhead: If Howie and Julie want to wrestle, more power to them.
There are certainly others close to their age who are familiar faces in
the MBC. Katie
Smith and Jimmy O'Neal would be good examples.
Pinhead: An O'Neal as a "good example"?
Skullhead: Strange as it may sound yes.
Slush: Stranger things have happened.
Pinhead: Most of those things involving you.
Skullhead: Lets go to this segment.
[The scene fades backstage to a pleased Holly Hotbody, strolling
through the area with a huge grin on her face. She wears a tiny, white,
baby doll T-shirt,
a bold "69" emblazoned on the front, and a blue, mini skirt. She also
wears a pair of go go boots, her auburn hair parted in the middle and
her back. Draped over her shoulder is one of the causes of her
happiness, her new Psycho Driver tag title.]
[She turns to see Tiffany Lane walking over to her. The buxom blonde is
clad in a backless, black top and a matching, micro-mini skirt,
completing the look
with heels, her hair falling down her back in curls. As she makes her
way over, the two women embrace and exchange air kisses to each cheek.]
Tiffany: What in the world are you doing here?
Holly: [grins] Didn't Nina and Kari tell you? I decided to stop by and
support you guys during your big match tonight. Plus, I figured I could
a couple of tips to help you deal with Tara Smith, considering the last
time I faced her, I was beating her like she stole something.
Tiffany: [smiles] Awww. That's so sweet of you.
Holly: Well, us Sisterhood girls have to stick together, if we're going
to keep showing the MBC who's boss.
Tiffany: You won't get any arguments from me there. Unity is one of the
Sisterhood's most important traits.
Holly: Besides, you guys supported me, when I needed it. So, I figured
it was only fair to do the same.
Tiffany: [nods] Speaking of which, how does it feel to hold gold again,
[Holly's smile widens as she gives the belt an affectionate pat.]
Holly: Well, it always was my favorite color. I honestly don't know
what I'm happiest about most, the fact that Grace and I won these
titles or the fact
that we ran my sisters out of the MBC. [she pauses] I actually think
they're equally great with the whole "getting my sisters out of here"
the slight edge.
Tiffany: I don't blame you, after all that those two put you through.
It must have been tough, having to constantly deal with their jealousy.
Holly: [sighs] Tell me about it!
Tiffany: I sympathize. Thankfully, they've been taken care of. I don't
think Leanna and Lolita knew what hit them. [smiles] It must have been
to beat them on what they've considered their home turf.
Holly: [nods] Oh, it was. They might have attacked us afterwards but
Grace and I truly got the last laugh. Because we're still here and
they're missing a
[Both women share a laugh.]
Holly: Say what you want about Vengeance, but he sure knew how to look
out for me. That "loser leaves MBC" clause in our rematch contract was
genius. Who knew that those two not reading the fine print would come
back to bite them in the ass like that? But enough about them. They're
_old_news now. Ready for tonight's match?
Tiffany: Of course. I actually took an extra Pilates class to prepare,
not that I really needed it. I mean, let's be serious here. Do you
Kari, and I have anything to fear from those three rejects? Tara
Smith's days of glory are so over, Susan Davis is a no-talent trick,
Mackenzie's, well, the less said about that thing the better. The three
of us are going to walk into that match and beat those losers so badly
probably won't have the courage to show their mugs in the MBC again!
Holly: [smiles] Perfect! And I'll be there to watch the humiliation in
Tiffany: I wouldn't want it any other way. Look, I have to head off.
I'll catch you later. Bye, hon.
Holly: Okay. See ya later, Tiffany.
[Tiffany turns and walks off as Holly takes another look at her
championship belt. With a grin, she lifts it in the air and gives it a
light kiss before
placing it back over her shoulder, strolling along and humming to
herself as the scene fades.]
Slush: How they dare besmirch the name of my man Tyler.
Pinhead: How? By calling her a woman?
Slush: Yes, among other things.
Pinhead: Taylor IS a woman.
Slush: Your insults mean nothing to me Pinhead. Taylor and I's love for
one another is eternal.
Pinhead: This whole situation is sad. Taylor kissed you so you'd
realize she was a woman and all it did was make you think you're gay.
How stupid are you?
Slush: Fairly. But that irrelevant.
Pinhead: I'm sure.
Slush: What's important is Taylor will dominate all those women. He is
quite the ladies man after all.
Skullhead: Still the team of Smith, MacKenzie and Davis is an unusual
one. And the Sisterhood is much more versed in teamwork than their
Slush: We'll see!
Pinhead: I'm sure we will.
Skullhead: Our next contest of the evening is the final of our three
debuts. Stepping into the ring is "The Fantasy" Brett Young. Let me
just say, he's a
bit of fresh air.
Slush: Why? Did he shower? UNLIKE TOM LANDIS!!!!
Skullhead; I'm sure he did but I'm referring to his attitude. Very
upbeat. Very old school.
Pinhead: That won't last long around here.
Skullhead: I'm not so sure. He's already tearing things up at house
shows and melting the hearts of young ladies.
Slush: Oh god, is he a pretty boy?
Skullhead: I wouldn't go as far to say that.
Slush: Well I would! Bring this pretty boy on!
__ _______ _____________________________________________
/ |/ / __ )/ ____/
/ /|_/ / __ / / "THE FANTASY" BRETT YOUNG
/ / / / /_/ / /___ vs "PEZZY" JOHNNY SMITH
|____________________________________________Writer: Andre Dec
Slush [interrupting, high energy]: MBC fans! Don't touch that dial,
there is nothing wrong with your TV!
Pinhead: Except, of course, for Slush being ON it...
Slush: We here at the MBC are proud to set our way back machines on
permanent press just to give you the kind of action you the fans really
hunger for. So
sit back with those olestra laden Baco-s, slide on your zoobas, and
succumb to the flower power that is 1998!
Pinhead: You do realize that NONE of what you said fits for 1998,
Slush: Why would it? I'm just appealing to the casual MBC fan in a
language he understands.
[the theme song shifts quickly to a high energy rock ballad. One that
draws a laugh from the crowd as the keyboard intro segues into the
Skullhead: Folks, I have no explanation for what's happening here.
Slush: He owed me fifty bucks. I figured this was a more fun way to
Pinhead: [sighs] And the worst part is, the night's just beginning.
##Growing up, you don't see the writing on the wall
Passing by, moving straight ahead, you knew it all
But maybe sometime if you feel the pain
You'll find you're all alone, everything has changed##
[a figure in incredibly tight leather pants and a tattered spandex
muscle shirt springs into the entranceway, kicking out his fringe laced
boots as he pumps his fists in the air. The spiked mullet lasts on his
head for all of four bangs of his head before it slides off, onto the
revealing the flashback rocker to be as "Pezzy" Johnny Smith]
Slush: Wasn't this Joe Reed's entrance song? Like, last week?
Skullhead: The fans...and I'm with them on this one, they have no idea
what to make of Johnny Smith as he makes his way down the ramp.
[Smith kicks the mullet wig off to the side, where Bastard nation
begins to brawl over the latest souvenir]
##Play the game, you know you can't quit until it's won
Soldier on, only you can do what must be done
You know in some way you're a lot like me
You're just a prisoner and you're tryin' to break free##
[Pezzy leaps up onto the ring apron with one bound, spinning to face
the crowd behind him as he laces his arms around the top rope, bouncing
to the end of the phrase before kicking his legs up, resting his feet
on the turnbuckle as he reclines, drawing a genuine pop from the crowd]
##I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky
I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels Take me
where my future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire##
[Pezzy rolls into the ring as the song fades, drawing major props from
Pinhead: I haven't the words.
Skullhead: Our own Johnny Smith, consummate showman.
Slush: And worth all six pennies he gets.
[The opening guitar notes of "Alive" by P.O.D. begin to play as the
crowd erupts in cheers. Suddenly the voice is heard...]
## EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY! ##
## I'M THANKFUL FOR EVERY BREATH I TAKE ##
## I WON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED ##
## SO I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES ##
## IT'S BEYOND MY CONTROL, SOMETIMES IT'S BEST TO LET GO ##
## WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THIS LIFETIME ##
## SO I TRUST IN LOVE ##
## YOU HAVE GIVEN ME PEACE OF MIND ##
[As the words of "Alive" begin to blast over the P.A. "The Fantasy"
Brett Young steps out as the fans roar in approval. He holds his arms
sideways and slaps the hands of the crowd as he jogs down the entrance
Skullhead: This crowd is on their feet for the legendary Brett Young as
he makes his way down the ramp for the first time tonight!
Slush: Do you remember when he did this entrance on the Pat Sajak show?
Slush: OK, so THAT one was from the concussion.
## I FEEL SO ALIVE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME ##
## I CAN'T DENY YOU##
## I FEEL SO ALIVE ##
## I FEEL SO ALIVE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME ##
## AND I THINK I CAN FLY ##
Slush: And if he tries, we'll gain a full ratings point!
Skullhead: Will you stop?
[The music is full on and rocking hard as Brett Young leaps on the ring
apron. He turns once more towards the fans and raises his hand
to excite them before the match. He then steps into the ring and
prepares for his match.]
Skullhead: Brett Young getting this crowd pumped up with tremendous
ease. This crowd hasn't forgotten who he is or what he's meant to the
Slush: I'll say. The man who introduced Tinkle to Marmite and pilchard
Pinhead: I wasn't aware he could stick his tongue out like that.
Tinkle: Of course. How else is he supposed to lick his eyebrows?
[ding ding ding]
[a quick handshake between the competitors shows mutual respect before
the match itself begins. Young gains an early advantage with an armdrag
takedown, followed quickly with a rear chinlock. Pezzy is able to shift
into a side headlock, pushing Young to the ropes before being
down. As Young bounces off the far ropes, Smith rises, then drops to
his belly, then rises to meet Young with a boot to the midsection.
While Young is
doubled over, Pezzy grabs his head and drops to his knees, slamming him
with a headbutt that knocks Young to the ground]
Skullhead: Pezzy with an advantage here, catching a lucky break against
[Pezzy hoists Young to his feet and drives a kneelift into Young's
midsection. Guiding him back to the ropes, an Irish whip is followed by
clothesline attempt that Young ducks, only to be caught on the rebound
with a flying shoulder tackle that sends him to the mat. Pezzy covers,
doesn't even get a one count before Young kicks free]
Pinhead: The MBC talent has not only brought their A game in recent
weeks, but they've shown that one thing you absolutely cannot do is
what they are capable of.
[Pezzy guides Young back to the ropes, firing off a pair of knife-edge
chops to slow him, only for Young to respond after the second with a
Uppercut. As Pezzy is rocked backwards, a boot to the midsection
doubles him over long enough for Young to bound off the ropes with a
Huge crowd pop!]
Skullhead: Young off the ropes...HUGE ASAI MOONSAULT! PIN!
Kickout by Pezzy!
Pinhead: Pezzy showing he still has some fight left in him, but Brett
Young is pumped up in that ring!
[Young lifts Pezzy to his feet and whips him into the corner, only for
Smith to reverse and send Young in hard. Pezzy rushes with the intent
to tackle, but
Young spins out of the way and Pezzy shoots over the middle turnbuckle
and hits the ringpost hard. As he slowly backs out, Young lifts him for
be a side suplex, but rests him on the top turnbuckle instead. Grabbing
the head and pulling, he hits the Dreamer neckbreaker, pulling Young
off the top
turnbuckle onto the mat. A quick cover, and the three count is
RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this match... "THE FANTASY" BRETT YOUNG!
Slush: So much for the 80's. I'll catch reruns on VH1.
Skullhead: Solid victory by Young there. And I'm sure not the last.
Slush: Thanks Captain Cliché.
Pinhead: Slush, you of all people shouldn't bitch about clichés.
Slush: I HATE TOM LANDIS!
Skullhead: That's it for our first hour ladies and gentlemen. We'll be
back after this segment.
[Our cameras cut to the backstage area of Reunion Arena, hoping to find
someone or something. It's not long before they come to the one and
Throbbing Mattress Kitten "Superfly" Susan Davis meeting with the
trainer. Davis is having her right arm wrapped up and getting a last
minute checkup if
Trainer: The arm still a little tender?
SSD: Nothing I can't get past.
Trainer: How about your eye?
SSD: Oh swelling went down long ago. Nothing a little makeup can't help
me cover though.
[Susan smiles sweetly as the trainer finishes with the tape and hands
her one of her elbow pads.]
[At this point, a visitor appears in the doorway. Dressed in a pair of
faded and frayed black Daisy Dukes, a black "Motorhead-Asylum Choir"
fishnet stockings with the left knee ripped out and black engineer
boots, One Nina Grimsson pokes her head through the training room door.
All smiles, Nina
completes her look with a spiked collar around her neck and her long
black hair worn down and straight.]
Nina: So are you ready for you big match tonight, Susan?
SSD: Yeah... I guess. I'm kinda nervous about it for some reason.
[Susan extends her other arm so the trainer can tape it up as well.]
Nina: [Nods] That's understandable. But believe me, you're ready for
this. You'll do just fine out there.
SSD: I really hope so. I don't want to give Tara Smith a reason to hate
me again. And I don't want Taylor to send her cats after me.
[She takes a deep breath and lets it out.]
SSD: You'll be out there at ringside right?
Nina: If that's what you want, then yes, you have my word I'll be
there. And don't worry about Tara Smith and Taylor, because you're
going to do great out
SSD: Oh I definitely want you out there. I mean, we're facing the
Sisterhood of Seduction. You never know who will be there with them or
show up late in
the match. I'd feel more comfortable if you were there.
[The trainer finishes wrapping her arm and hands her the last elbow
Nina: [Nods] Then of course I'll be there. So now all you need to do is
just concentrate on the Babe Squad and Kari Stevens.
SSD: That's a huge weight off my shoulders.
[With her preparation complete, Susan hops off the trainer's table and
stretches out, hands above her head, getting more than a few cat calls
from the watching audience in Reunion.]
SSD: Things are looking up I think Nina. I don't think anything is
going to bring me down now.
Nina: I think so, too. Well, lets get you back to the dressing room so
you can do some pre-match warm-ups. Then I'm going to grab something to
eat and I'll
see you at ringside after that. Sound good?
SSD: Sounds great.
[And with that, our duo leaves the training room. Fade to black.]