TIGER WOODS POEM---LOL
TIM LAWYER
And out of the house
Came Tiger Woods flying,
Chased by his spouse.
She wielded a 9 iron
And wasn't too merry
'cause a bimbo's phone number
Was on his Blackberry.
He had been cheating
On poor little Elin,
And as each day went by
Another whore came out squealin'
He'd been on Holly, on Jamie,
On Rachel, on Corey,
On Joslyn, and Kaleeka.
(TMZ had the story).
From the top of the world
To above the fold
Tiger's ever more sordid
Tale it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses
He had lots of sex,
And when he wasn't hosin' 'em
He sent 'em hot texts.
He crashed his Caddie
But didn't call On-Star.
He played "Spank me Daddy'
With a skanky old porn star.
He's been naughty.
With Santa, he hasn't a chance,
'cept a big lump of coal
to match the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying
And beggin' and pleadin'
His wife went right out
And bought a new house in Sweden .
And I heard her exclaim
As she packed up the Escalade
'If you're gonna get laid,
Then, I'm gonna get paid!"
Now, she's not pouting;
In fact, she's of good cheer.
Her Pre-nup made Christmas
Come early this year!
Speeders & Drunk Drivers are MURDERERS
I'd sure like to find out the terms of the pre-nup. It looks like
tiger agreed to a bad one. She doesn't deserve a penny.