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Muffin for Callahan

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TheJ...@gmail.com

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May 8, 2008, 7:36:44 PM5/8/08
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First time poster long time reader...

With no official biography of Muffin ever created, lets get a little
insight into the life of 2008's most dominant college player:

Born a full 15 months after conception, Muffin tore his way out of the
womb, already 2.5 feet tall and able to bench press over 100lbs
Promptly considered a freak, muffin spent the next 8 years of his life
feeding on fish heads and cabbage borscht while running free on an
enclosed 4 acre farm in the middle of Wisconsin
It is at this point, the facts get a little hazy, a raid on the
compound, forced the family to move to Iowa's cornfields for and
extended stay, it is also at this point when muffin received his
nickname, when he won a local corn muffin eating contest at an Iowa
state fair beating scores of very fat very white Iowans
In his mid-teens, Muffin's family returned to Wisconsin, and for the
first time in his life, Muffin was allowed to live in doors, and sent
for real schooling.
Though Muffin excelled in studies, in high school he started his trek
towards Pull Bunyan status by training to be the school's pull up
champion, coincidentally, a classmate had the same goal, and so
started a 4 year oddesy that ended with him able to do over 40,000
pull ups in under 5 minutes... It is also alleged around this time
Muffin was introduced to Ultimate Frisbee
The facts start coming together in his last year of high school, when
Muffin showed up to Hodag tryouts, and would have easily made a team
that won a national championship later that season.
After originally not being accepted to the UW, Muffin walked into the
dean's office with only a Frisbee and a plastic spork, fifteen minutes
later Muffin was accepted to the Business program and asked never to
speak of the incident again.
In the Fall of 03 Muffin made his first hodag squad, he spent the year
(along with fellow callahan nominee Matt Rebholtz) as a token
freshman, passing out early the first night of spring break and waking
up with a face covered in Sharpie graffiti, Muffin's season ended
tragically during a game of 500 at sectionals, when Hodag Freshman
will lokke drunkenly broke muffin's ankle, despite nationals being on
the west coast, muffin still traveled cross country to cheer on his
team.
In '04, Muffin's dominance began, as a sophomore living with five
senior teammates (including two national champions) Muffin grew up
mighty fast, and spent the year ingesting high level Frisbee. By end
of the year he was an anchor for the d line and played huge rolls in
Wisconsin's largest games. In the final game of the hodag's season,
Muffin switched onto Beaufort Kittridge, out sized by the games most
dominant player, he was immediately taken deep, much like the season,
that play ended in disappointment, as Beau caught the disc in a last
ditch effort just before it hit the ground, but Muffin used this
season as a spring board, he had played a huge roll on the team and
had gone tow to tow with the games scariest player, the year was a
chance to learn from all the near misses.
After two straight quarterfinal exits, the hodags rededicated
themselves to winning, with muffin helping to set that standard while
sporting cornrows and sunglasses at all times. Muffin became the d-
lines #1 handler, his flick became a weapon constantly ready to fire.
The hodags won Centex that year, and in the windy conditions, muffins
brute strength helped hand Florida's it's only loss of the year. 2006
also marked the year that the central region only had one bid, and in
the blustery conditions muffin knew he would have to be a difference
maker... His forehand was lights out that day, taking his team to
nationals and ending CUT's nationals streak at since the Frisbee had
been invented! Friday and Saturday of nationals were the Muffin show,
throwing goals at will, and leading his team back to the national
championship game. Sunday was not as kind to the Hodags or muffin,
but the loss left the hodags with a sour taste in their mouths, ready
to kill in the next season.
2007 brought the hodags unprecedented success, a second national
championship, a callahan winner, and a second straight centex and
regional title. This is also the year that Muffin began to assert his
dominance over both the hodags and the nation. For the next two years
Muffin was elected conditioning coach, taking over one of the most
important positions on a team usually considered to be in the best
shape in the nation. That year at nationals Muffin brought the pain,
throwing seven goals in the first game alone. The next day was a
muffin coming out show, wowing the crowd with a 90+ yard huck in semi-
finals and reminding Standford that they should probably figure out
how to mark him (they, much like the rest of the nation, have yet to
figure it out). After winning semis, Muffin was narrowly defeated in
the inaugural pull contest, but not before making the ladies scream
after ripping off his shirt in front of the crowd. Finals also
brought more muffin dominance, and the team's ultimate goal- a
national championship.
And now we have 2008- Muffin's fifth year of eligibility, a
culmination of almost a decade of non-stop ultimate with his high
school team, the hodags, Madison Club, and Sub Zero have created a
machine, at one point it had been a full calendar year since the
hodags had lost a game. As the 07/08 season started at Midwesterns of
the South, the Mardi Gras tournament an annual hodag fundraiser,
Muffin won it for the FIFTH straight year, collecting over $5,000
worth of cash prizes in that time. Next up was Vegas, one of the only
tournaments that Muffin had played in and never won, the hodags were
the only team to avoid upset on the weekend. A second NCUS
championship was just around the corner with a win at the Stanford
Invite (the second time Muffin had won that tournament), in the wake
of that championship the hodags were being touted as the greatest
college team ever, and with a record of 24-0 who could blame people.
Despite a poor showing at Centex, Muffin played hard all weekend,
hoping to inspire his team to keep trying despite not being in the
running for the tournament's championship. Since than the luster has
diminished, people are trying to knock a team that has more tournament
championships (5) than losses (3). But throughout Muffin has stayed
positive (in his own special way). Always busting ass and playing
hard, willing his team to win, and never shying away from making the
big play to win the game.

This year teams have resorted to new ways to stop the morfin, imposing
a 'hack a shaq' strategy, fouling him more often than he touches the
disc. There is no player on the field this year than can hurt you as
often or as quickly as muffin, he can throw a goal from anywhere on
the field, and is never afraid to take a deep shot having complete
faith in his receiving core. Ask yourself, is there anybody that can
hurt you worse than muffin, with him on the d-line, any turnover can
result in a one throw goal, everybody on the field must be aware if he
has the disc, or before you know it, another hodag break will be had.

Now every time i read some alumni posting about their favorite
callahan candidate I thing 'really, this person has the best
perspective on who is the MVP of THIS season... somebody who wasn't at
the tournaments, let alone practices, how do they know who really
dominated every point of every game, or who made the speech that
inspired the team to get the key break,' normally an alum's callahan
opinion is for crap!

Muffin is uniquely qualified to have an alumni post on his behalf.
This past college season, as most of you have been busting ass for
your team, or working a 9-5 I have been half way across the world,
backpacking through Europe, and because of MuffDivers endless
dedication to his team, I have not only been able to check on
Wisconsin scores, but also find detailed play by play accounts of
Hodag triumphs! When I had the time, I was able to get more up to
date with the 'dags than many of my favorite professional sports
teams.

Now many people knock muffin for his brash machismo, calling out
opposing players and teammates at will, weighing entertainment over
feelings, things have gotten so out of hand, that a team who beat him
(Florida) felt the need to ask him to kill himself... I mean lets get
serious, can anybody name the last ultimate player to receive death
threats, imagine if the hodags would have won that game, do you think
we would have had some sort of nancy kerrigan incident between rounds,
beyond that, do you want to vote for a player on a team that
encourages opponent suicide?

The creation of Morfin, has entertained us all, Muffin puts his all
into his game on the field and posts off it, normally studying video
from the weekend three plus times in order to give the fans all the
details of the weekend. Muffin eats, drinks, breaths, and loves
Ultimate, despite winnning a national championship last year, he has
came back with just as much motivation to be the first repeat champion
in years as he did to win his first championship. Rarely does a team
win a championship, and come back and try to create an even more
impressive title defense, but Muffin's constant intensity has helped
keep the Hodags hungry for more wins.

Congratulations to muffin, for receiving the a well deserved
nomination for Callahan from the Central region TD, and despite being
a cocky bastard, he deserves your nod as the most dominant player in
college ultimate!

Just remember-
Muffin:
BIG Dick
BIG Throws
Big Time

One final number crunch (with limited research)
5 year Hodag
5 time Mardi Gras (and sectional) Champion
3 time regional champion
3 time CCC champion
2 time Stanford Invite Champion
2 time Centex Champion
Trouble in Vegas Champion
Easterns Champion
NATIONAL CHAMPION

23 tournament championships in only 5 years, while only competing at
the best tournaments
The man is a winner, and deserves to win your vote!

josh

unread,
May 8, 2008, 11:06:16 PM5/8/08
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This guy's inability to use paragraphs and intimate knowledge of
muffin's history makes me assume the author is muffin himself (but
maybe this was obvious to everyone?)

That said, I support muffin for callahan. He embodies everything great
about frisbee.

zaebo...@yahoo.com

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May 8, 2008, 11:24:02 PM5/8/08
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Profile investigation points to his name being jon unless he was
setting this up from a month ago.

Andrew

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May 8, 2008, 11:25:50 PM5/8/08
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If he shortened his name to "Muff" he would no doubt capture my vote.

schmidtacular

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May 9, 2008, 10:16:16 AM5/9/08
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On May 8, 7:36 pm, TheJSc...@gmail.com wrote:
> First time poster long time reader...
----------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, an FTPLTR.


> One final number crunch (with limited research)
> 5 year Hodag
> 5 time Mardi Gras (and sectional) Champion
> 3 time regional champion
> 3 time CCC champion
> 2 time Stanford Invite Champion
> 2 time Centex Champion
> Trouble in Vegas Champion
> Easterns Champion
> NATIONAL CHAMPION
>
> 23 tournament championships in only 5 years, while only competing at
> the best tournaments
> The man is a winner, and deserves to win your vote!

----------------------------------------------------------------

All by himself too? You forgot to mention the time he saved those
students from a burning building.

I'm just curious if the votes for Reb and Muffin will render the Hodag
lobby ineffective at putting one guy at the top of the nominations...

J

unread,
May 9, 2008, 4:42:51 PM5/9/08
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> I'm just curious if the votes for Reb and Muffin will render the Hodag
> lobby ineffective at putting one guy at the top of the nominations...

I have played both late on Sunday at Club Regionals in elimination
games. I have won against both and lost against both in these
situations. I have seen how both treat their teammates and the their
opponents in these tough situations. If you are going to pick one of
these two, pick Reb. In my opinion he defines ultimate better than
Muffin.

Jeff

morfin

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May 9, 2008, 10:21:22 PM5/9/08
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> I have played both late on Sunday at Club Regionals in elimination
> games.  I have won against both and lost against both in these
> situations.  I have seen how both treat their teammates and the their
> opponents in these tough situations.  If you are going to pick one of
> these two, pick Reb.  In my opinion he defines ultimate better than
> Muffin.

I would have to agree, playing against Muffin is terrible.
It is so tough - especially when Muffin keeps flashing his so called
"dark mark"
http://www.pbase.com/jmlane/image/86183950

Do it for Willis!

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