Glazed Daze Donut Relay Comes of Age
thefan
coed tournament, and they had a donut eating competition on saturday.
that was fun, and some guy who calls himself TheFan destroyed said
competition and has referred to himself as the Donut eating Champion
of the World Since that day. He also bruised his head spiking Spike
the paper mache and chicken wire (and unbeknownst to TheFan, some
fence post) Dinosaur. the video can be found online somewheres.
Well this year TheFan and Tammy decided to revive that idea for a nice
early Spring time diversion. we got some fields and we got some teams
and we planned a donut eating race and that was cool. then it was
schedule time. 10 teams . . . what a mess. well here is what we
did. top two pool winners get a bye, other 8 play 1st round. losers
go to one side and play two rounds to get teams ranked 7-10. the 4
winners join the two pool winners for the "Quarters" 3 winners of the
"Quarters" move on. the loser of the "Quarters" with the fastest
Donut Eating Relay time will also move on to the Semi's while the
other two Quarter losers play for 5th / 6th place.
that's right, this year, if you do well in the donut race, you can
lose in the quarters and still make semi's. so better stack those
Relay teams.
1 Dozen Krispy Kreme Glazed Donuts
1 Beast of a Jelly/Creme filled with frosting and crunchy things on
top
2 12oz cans of beer
1 12oz can of Juice
1 of those little bottles of Whole Milk (probably 8-10oz)
4 people (2m/2f) tag team relay style. winner gets some prizes for
their teammates and the knowledge that the pressure is off come
quarters the next day. and if TheFan shows, you'll get to say you
faced down the donut eating champion of the world, and won.
Jimmy
Asst TD/ PR Manager
Winter Glazed Daze
ben.d...@gmail.com
whose friends call Ben Dieter on his cell phone at 2:54 a.m. and that
was cool. That guy Ben Dieter was getting his slumber so just like
all those mountaineers who never were quite fast enough to snap
Sasquatch in a clear frame, he missed a live conversation with TheFan
and that was not awesome. But that guy got lucky that day because
there was a message on his phone when he arose and when he listened to
that message it was TheFan's voice he heard and that made Ben feel
good. TheFan's message said, "Ben Dieter, this is _____ . Why don't
you get a co-ed team together and come to Glazed Daze so you can
challenge me for my Donut Eating World Championship Belt. I bet you
won't take it." Ben's voicemail lady asked him if he wanted to keep
that message as new, save that message, or replay it so he replayed it
and enjoyed it twice. Then he saved it. He felt good because he had
heard from his old friend, and TheFan was having a good time when he
called. Ben Dieter is now going to Glazed Daze to eat some Donuts.
He doesn't expect to win that championship belt, but when Muhammad Ali
invites a person to go toe to toe in Zaire, that person steps into
that ring and takes his whoopin' like a man.
Winter Glazed Daze #1 Contender
bd
hoss24
Big Winston 7:19. (featuring the world-record breaking anchor
performance by The Fan - his personal relay time was 1:23 or so)
2nd place Subliminal 7:43.
3rd Pico de Frico 7:47
Would like to see sub 7 minute efforts posted this time around. And
just to clarify, no tagging out until an empty mouth is confirmed by
the judges. Hurling before your team has finished and 10 minutes post
event leads to disqualification as I recall.
What's the Vegas line on this?
Stakes is high!
thefan
enjoying his 7th or 8th adult beverage of the evening when he got a
call from somewhere in eastern NC. first he thought it might be his
good friend Jolley, or his buddy Ben, so he picked it up with some
excitement. It wasn't his good friend Jolley or his buddy Ben, but
some dude by the name of Travis . . . or Trey . . . Trixie?
whatever. and he spoke some jibberish to TheFan. TheFan, who is
quite fluent in jibberish of many dialects, did not recognize much of
what this stranger was saying. There was some mention of a fellow
named The Saxon. TheFan is also kind of a history buff, and he
remembers what great warriors The Saxons were, so he relayed his hello
to said Saxon, even though he wasn't positive just exactly what this
particular Saxon had to do with anything. There was some more
jibberish and then TheFan heard it. somewhere in that stew of
incomprehensible words was the phrase "you better be ready". This
stranger was talking shit to TheFan. Unheard Of! well upon hanging
up the phone, there was some confusion on TheFan's part as to what
he'd better be ready for. Was it upon the field of battle that this
challenge would be settled? did they believe they had some secret
weapon to challenge him in the donut eating relay? like maybe a bear
or something? TheFan was a bit worried by the thought of it all, so
he did what anyone would do at 1 in the morning, a dozen bottles deep
into the Saranac woods. He went into the sunroom and put on his
running shoes and ran to the Krispy Kreme. once there, he positioned
himself underneath the rack thingy that they use to move the donuts
along and pour glaze on em. opening wide, the last severl dozen
donuts of the evening were allowed to fall of the end of the rack
directly into TheFans mouth, where they were stretched into his gullet
as though they had been captured by and swallowed by a black hole,
which is kinda what happened to them. feeling a little better, TheFan
went back outside and raced traffic home. He has continued this
ritual everynight except for sunday nights when the Krispy Kreme store
closes early. TheFan only goes out in the day time to eat donuts and
kick ass.
Better come on out to Winter Glazed Daze this weekend for a rare
sighting.
Jimmy
thefan
> What's the Vegas line on this?
>
> Stakes is high!
Vegas odds for Saturday
Buffalo Bills win SuperBowl
1 - 2,345,000
Sun Falls to Earth and boils Oceans
1 - 1,995,000
Super Volcano beneath Yellow Stone Park erupts
1 - 1,245,000
TheFan is defeated in Donut Eating Competition
1 - 997,000
Rogue Comet knocks Moon out of the Sky
1 - 864,500
Elvis gives surprise live concert at Graceland
1 - 500,000
get your bets in.
Jimmy
thefan
If Karl is coming, please let us know so that we can order another
dozen donuts and adjust the odds.
Jimmy
thefan
accepted his invitation and is looking forward to spending a weekend
in your company. Your post made him feel good. He cannot reply
himself because he is focusing his energies on the Donut Championship
this coming Saturday at 5:15. Very Focused.
schmidtacular
Wait, you have to share the donuts? What ever happened to glorious
individuality in eating contests...
The Bottomless Schmidt
thefan
> Wait, you have to share the donuts? What ever happened to glorious
> individuality in eating contests...
>
> The Bottomless Schmidt
yes TheBS, it is a relay style eating competition, as described in the
very first post in this thread. However, the greatness of TheFan
excuses him from sharing with his teammates, who will be one cone, one
blown out cleat and a well stocked folding chair.
The Fan
hoss24
The Fan still wearing the Championship Belt?
thefan
> Results?
>
> The Fan still wearing the Championship Belt?
Unfortunately, the Championship Belt was transferred across the Triad
to the Hodge Podge Huckers of Gso/ Charlotte.
The Fan felt that his leg of the competition was championship worthy,
but was being reprimanded for missing the tournament party in a sugar
coma at the last Glazed Daze. He was forced to run the final leg of
the competition, an exact reversal of the relay team that dominated at
the first donut relay. he was handed a huge deficit and was unable to
overcome.
The HodgePodge Huckers finished in under 7 minutes at 6:58 with She's
Inflatable from DC coming in a close second. BullRun, anchored by
TheFan finished in third followed by the CaveBats of Warren Wilson
College, Killer Chickens of So.Car., the Mountain Monkeys of AppState
and Saxons Sucka Bunch from ECU. Victors GungalaGunga team was DQ'd
for chewing after tag off, but did start the competition with a
headfirst dive into the box of donuts.
She's Inflatable also takes the Glazed Daze Spirit Award. Crazy
bastards wore floaties during some games and gave the MVP of each team
they played a Sausage wrapped in Pancakes on a stick. "That looks
delicious!" TheFan was heard to exclaim.
hoss24
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6945763794905847572
photo of Spike before meeting The Fan
http://www.scriptflip.com/media/spike.jpg
-brewer
>
> Unfortunately, the Championship Belt was transferred across the Triad
> to the Hodge Podge Huckers of Gso/ Charlotte.
>
> The Fan felt that his leg of the competition was championship worthy,
> but was being reprimanded for missing the tournament party in a sugar
> coma at the lastGlazedDaze. He was forced to run the final leg of
> the competition, an exact reversal of the relay team that dominated at
> the first donut relay. he was handed a huge deficit and was unable to
> overcome.
>
> The HodgePodge Huckers finished in under 7 minutes at 6:58 with She's
> Inflatable from DC coming in a close second. BullRun, anchored by
> TheFan finished in third followed by the CaveBats of Warren Wilson
> College, Killer Chickens of So.Car., the Mountain Monkeys of AppState
> and Saxons Sucka Bunch from ECU. Victors GungalaGunga team was DQ'd
> for chewing after tag off, but did start the competition with a
> headfirst dive into the box of donuts.
>
> She's Inflatable also takes theGlazedDazeSpirit Award. Crazy