Nats
MH
there, here's the story
http://www.upa.org/scores/tourn.cgi?div=20&id=6871
Pool play was a little crazy, each pool played to a different score
which was determined by coin flip at the beginning of the tournament.
Honestly it was a pretty cool concept and I thought that the teams
that had to play to 21 really didn't mind because it was such an
experimental format that drove inovation towards the future. As for
the games, PONY was pretty disapointing in Pool A, but a 3 way tie
among the top teams allowed them to advance to quarters after going
0-3 on day one. A pretty impressive showing overall for the fuckers
from NY.
In pool B Replicants had the weekend of their lives, especially star
players Conner Balloney and Trevor Langston. They took down Bravo and
Chain with a mix of deep shots and stiflying defense.
In Pool C upstarts Bear Proof (a jersey team, lots of talent, hadn't
seem them before but pretty fucking good) took it to some of the top
contenders. Ironside really had a tough day, mostly because their O
line just wasn't clicking like normal. The bigger they were, the
harder they fell (ruff ruff) and it was a day of Giant slaying for the
boys from America's awfulest state.
Pool D went pretty much as you would expect, the Living Ex-Presidents
demolished the competition while Obama looked forward to the day he
could play on the team (2010 when he gets impeached) and get his
Ultimate injuries covered by his bullshit socialist insurance plan.
Pre-quarters had some solid matchups, but who really cares.
In quarters Mike Gerics observed a tight PONY-Chain matchup that
featured Jason Simpson breaking the mark against Kevin Riley while
calling a foul. The foul was instantly contested and an argument
insued. Teams crept closer to the field as the players both refused
to go to Mike and instead insisted on getting closer and closer to
each other as they argued. Both teams benches eventually wound up on
the field and Mike G decided Chain's O line was out of order and
tossed them all from the game. PONY went on to win 9-3
The Presidents vs Truck was ugly as the Prez D line got break after
break on 95 lb weakling Alan Kolick and Jimmy Carter dominated in the
air like 2005 Danny Clark. the secret service presence on the field
was hard to get used to and Truck lost Ben "Jammin" Cohen to a season
ending ACL injury during one brutal collision. Thank god it was
Nationals.
VooDoo beat PONY 15-5, again. Repeat, again.
Replicants-Sockeye was a hell of a game. Andrew "Slam-Drew" Eaton
came back from a normally season ending injury to sit on the sidelines
and not play a single point. Quite inspiring. Mike Grant played for
Furious and thus was not in this game whatsoever, despite what I just
typed and erased. Nick skipped the game for a Royals-Twins matchups.
Congrats dude.
SEMIS!!!!!
Bear Proof managed to get the best of the President's Zone for the
first time all weekend. They did a fantastic job of exploiting the
weak side defender with a mix of hammers and swing passes through the
cup that negated the height advantages the former free world leaders
had used to build up an impressive resume in their very first
Nationals. In the end BP won on DGP with a huge D block from some
white dude who preceded to take an overweight Clinton deep and catch
the game winner. The presidents, distraught in defeat, went on to
discreatly beat their wives in private quarters.
Replicants-VooDoo was an old school drag em down knock em out match
(without an hyphens, that's how hardcore it was). The teams lost a
total of 13 players to season ending injuries during the match, 11 of
which were Slam Drew from the sidelines. At the end of the match,
only one team remained standing, though technically they were both
still standing, but I was trying to be metaphorical and epic with my
recap, so let's just say that VooDoo all dropped to their knees or
something. Anyways, Replicants won, to set up the best National
finals since (match diesel, fill in)
Finals
This 21-20 goliath of a game was surprisingly played in only 43
minutes. Neither team got a single D all game long. Bear Proof won
the flip and that proved to be enough to win the entire national
tournament. The teams were so exhausted from beating the top teams in
the country that it seemed neither had anything left to play even a
lick of defense. In fact at times the teams would trot out teams of 4
or 5 on defense, who would usually suck wind, eat bagels and drink
that 50 Cent Vitamin water shit. It was quite appalling to watch
given the high level of play the tournament had provided to that
point,
\
Thanks to CUltimate for their support of Nationals, 5Ultimate for
being kinda weird but in a cool way, the UPA for a killer tourament
and Mississippi Brooklyn for hosting and putting in solid work. Can't
wait for next year
-Ishmael Tater Brown
Mimmo
> Looks like results are up from Natties in Mississippi. If you weren't
dumb
Parinella
>
> - Show quoted text -
Plus this will screw up the RRI. The Replicants are suddenly #26
