RSA v Oz T1: The 6x Review

[alvey]

Warning: The following observations on this game are based on a PVR review
at an average speed of 6X. The author takes no responsibility for errors or
ommissions. Even less so than usual.

1. Clarke's I1 innings was tremendous, particularly on D1. Easily the best
I've ever seen from him and one of the best from an Australian this
century. (otto, the others being; Punter's marathon in 2005 Ashes
(Manchester iirc) & Haydos' double in India in 2001). If you were making a
cake called 'Classic Innings' then the main ingredients would usually be;
a) quality opposition bowlers, b) difficult conditions, c) your team
struggling, d) maintaining a good scoring rate and e) being
chanceless(ish). As I wrote after the SL series, Clarke's batting has had a
transformation since he got the asterix. It's positive, aggressive and must
be getting him some much-needed respect in the shed. It also appears that
he's had his dna operated on and got selfishness gene that's so virulent &
prevalent in his State removed. One of his recent predecessors in
particular may well have had an apolexy when Clarke threw away a big fat
reddie by chasing runs and being last out. Anyway, it was a fabulous,
hypnotic innings in a match which has been a spectacular demonstration of
the range & richness that only Test cricket can produce.

2. All the Oz quicks were recorded as being in the low 140s. Why then does
Steyn at 135 look faster?

3. Isn't DRS good?

4. Mitch: Unless he produces a better-than-good performance *and* the stats
to go with it, he's a goner. And he knows it. He's getting about with the
demeanor of someone who's dog just died.

5. Bad Hands: When *is* Tim Paine fit? [Hope that's not too "vitriolic"]

6. Morne Morkel: If he isn't the most brain-dead bowler in Test cricket
then zombies are playing.

7. The Oz I2 innings: Weird. The track wasn't even in the same timezone as
'Shitheap'. You'd be extremely seriously pissed off if you'd been all out
for 147 on it. But 47? Crikey! Yes, it's a poor wicket when all a bowler
has to do is bowl seam up to get a bit of movement, but the bounce was
consistent, the movement wasn't that extreme and Philander & Morkel aren't
in Steyn's class. Or even the one behind.

8. The Money Man: I declared before this series that I'd be putting my
money where my opinion is and backing Horrible Hughes to fail in every
Test. Thanks CA.

9. Not only has the most recent outbreak of Mad T20 Cash Cow Disease
deprived us of a Test in this series, it's also deprived me of the best
thing about Tests in The Repugnant. By playing this game so early in the
Seth Efrican season it means that the weather's too cold for the local
femmes to don their usual cricket watching uniform of shorts and bikini
top. This is a serious matter.

10. Tahir: Looks to have one of Test cricket's Least Impressive Debuts in
the bag. Dropped a sitter, scored 5 and 0/35 with a fair amount of tripe in
it. You'd not be happy if this was your only Test.

11. Fearless Prediction for today: RSA to win easily.



alvey

[Calvin]

On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:52:32 +1000, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:


[snip]

> 5. Bad Hands: When *is* Tim Paine fit? [Hope that's not too "vitriolic"]

BH has been absolutely woeful both batting and keeping the past few
months. TIME TO GO.

> 11. Fearless Prediction for today: RSA to win easily.

Yep. If Hussey had held that last ball catch then we may have had a chance.


--
cheers,
calvin

[Maxx]

On Nov 11, 6:52 am, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:
> Warning: The following observations on this game are based on a PVR review
> at an average speed of 6X. The author takes no responsibility for errors or
> ommissions. Even less so than usual.
>
> 1. Clarke's I1 innings was tremendous, particularly on D1. Easily the best
> I've ever seen from him and one of the best from an Australian this
> century. (otto, the others being; Punter's marathon in 2005 Ashes
> (Manchester iirc) & Haydos' double in India in 2001). If you were making a
> cake called 'Classic Innings' then the main ingredients would usually be;
> a) quality opposition bowlers, b) difficult conditions, c) your team
> struggling, d) maintaining a good scoring rate and e) being
> chanceless(ish). As I wrote after the SL series, Clarke's batting has had a
> transformation since he got the asterix. It's positive, aggressive and must
> be getting him some much-needed respect in the shed. It also appears that
> he's had his dna operated on and got selfishness gene that's so virulent &
> prevalent in his State removed. One of his recent predecessors in
> particular may well have had an apolexy when Clarke threw away a big fat
> reddie by chasing runs and being last out. Anyway, it was a fabulous,
> hypnotic innings in a match which has been a spectacular demonstration of
> the range & richness that only Test cricket can produce.
>
> 2. All the Oz quicks were recorded as being in the low 140s. Why then does
> Steyn at 135 look faster?

Because he is. And better.

> 6. Morne Morkel: If he isn't the most brain-dead bowler in Test cricket
> then zombies are playing.

See your comments on Johnson.

> 10. Tahir: Looks to have one of Test cricket's Least Impressive Debuts in
> the bag. Dropped a sitter, scored 5 and 0/35 with a fair amount of tripe in
> it. You'd not be happy if this was your only Test.

Compared to the last leg-spinner who made his debut at Newlands, Tahir
should be man of the match. And he'll end up on the winning side.

> 11. Fearless Prediction for today: RSA to win easily.

Too easy, drill sergeant.

[Abubakr]

On Nov 11, 3:52 pm, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:

> 8. The Money Man: I declared before this series that I'd be putting my
> money where my opinion is and backing Horrible Hughes to fail in every
> Test. Thanks CA.

When did that species of Test opening batters who could leave alone a
ball that's clearly going wide and high of the stumps go extinct? I
can understand slashing away at completely wide bowling but what's
with this fishing at everything that's pitched within 5 inches of the
line of the stumps?

[Abubakr]

On Nov 11, 3:52 pm, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:

> 5. Bad Hands: When *is* Tim Paine fit? [Hope that's not too "vitriolic"]

I'm a bit torn on this one. I was enjoying his articulate speech and
insightful, pertinent comments, such a rare combination amongst Aussie
cricketers, on the TV presentation.

[alvey]

He's pretty scary on the box. It's just plain weird to see an Oz keeper who
looks about 11.

And I agree, he is articulate etc. If he wasn't; a) a keeper, and b) a
Taswegian he'd be "widely tipped" as a FAC.




alvey

[alvey]

On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:55:54 -0800 (PST), Maxx wrote:


Do you have you own costume?




alvey

[Abubakr]

On 11/12/2011 7:10 AM, alvey wrote:
> On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 04:19:35 -0800 (PST), Abubakr wrote:
>
>> On Nov 11, 3:52 pm, alvey<al...@atattat.com> wrote:
>>
>>> 5. Bad Hands: When *is* Tim Paine fit? [Hope that's not too "vitriolic"]
>>
>> I'm a bit torn on this one. I was enjoying his articulate speech and
>> insightful, pertinent comments, such a rare combination amongst Aussie
>> cricketers, on the TV presentation.
>
> He's pretty scary on the box. It's just plain weird to see an Oz keeper who
> looks about 11.

Indeed. I was a bit taken aback by that too!

> And I agree, he is articulate etc. If he wasn't; a) a keeper, and b) a
> Taswegian he'd be "widely tipped" as a FAC.

Buwahaha




--
“I think nothing of popping up at centre-half or full-back. We are all
footballers and as such should be able to perform competently in all 11
positions.” -Alfredo Di Stefano

[Mad Hamish]

You've got to be a bit careful leaving Steyn as a left hander because
he moves the ball back into you pretty well.
--
"Hope is replaced by fear and dreams by survival, most of us get by."
Stuart Adamson 1958-2001

Mad Hamish
Hamish Laws
newsunsp...@iinet.unspamme.net.au

[Abubakr]

On 11/12/2011 11:40 AM, Mad Hamish wrote:
> On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 04:28:44 -0800 (PST), Abubakr
> <delta...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> On Nov 11, 3:52 pm, alvey<al...@atattat.com> wrote:
>>
>>> 8. The Money Man: I declared before this series that I'd be putting my
>>> money where my opinion is and backing Horrible Hughes to fail in every
>>> Test. Thanks CA.
>>
>> When did that species of Test opening batters who could leave alone a
>> ball that's clearly going wide and high of the stumps go extinct? I
>> can understand slashing away at completely wide bowling but what's
>> with this fishing at everything that's pitched within 5 inches of the
>> line of the stumps?
>
> You've got to be a bit careful leaving Steyn as a left hander because
> he moves the ball back into you pretty well.

So play within your body and don't follow a ball that's moving away from
you.

[cricd...@hotmail.com]

On Nov 10, 11:52 pm, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:
> Warning: The following observations on this game are based on a PVR review
> at an average speed of 6X.

At that speed would you not have missed the entire Australian
second innings?

[alvey]

On Sat, 12 Nov 2011 11:40:47 +1100, Mad Hamish wrote:

> On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 04:28:44 -0800 (PST), Abubakr
> <delta...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>On Nov 11, 3:52 pm, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:
>>
>>> 8. The Money Man: I declared before this series that I'd be putting my
>>> money where my opinion is and backing Horrible Hughes to fail in every
>>> Test. Thanks CA.
>>
>>When did that species of Test opening batters who could leave alone a
>>ball that's clearly going wide and high of the stumps go extinct? I
>>can understand slashing away at completely wide bowling but what's
>>with this fishing at everything that's pitched within 5 inches of the
>>line of the stumps?
>
> You've got to be a bit careful leaving Steyn as a left hander because
> he moves the ball back into you pretty well.

Well and good. However Steyn didn't dismiss Horrible.



alvey

[Bob Dubery]

I think a lot of people did watch that innings and conclude that the
PVR was stuck on fast forwards.

[Bob Dubery]

On Nov 11, 2:28 pm, Abubakr <deltara...@gmail.com> wrote:

> When did that species of Test opening batters who could leave alone a
> ball that's clearly going wide and high of the stumps go extinct? I
> can understand slashing away at completely wide bowling but what's
> with this fishing at everything that's pitched within 5 inches of the
> line of the stumps?

I think we may see more of that after DRS's performance in this match.
Everybody will be wanting to get the bat in the way of any ball that
is within 2 normal deviations of "straight".

[Maxx]

On Nov 11, 10:16 pm, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:
> On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:55:54 -0800 (PST), Maxx wrote:
>
> Do you have you own costume?

Nah I leave the costumes for me lady - she's got the schoolgirl,
French maid, pornstar and nurse ticked.
Policewoman next :-)

No comment about the "bowl in the wide half volley slot and get
smashed until they slice one to gully" brainless tactics of your
brainless bogan MJ then? Not surprising.

Morkel 24 3 91 6
Johnson 26 1 87 1

[alvey]

On Sat, 12 Nov 2011 01:53:27 -0800 (PST), Maxx wrote:

> On Nov 11, 10:16 pm, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:
>> On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:55:54 -0800 (PST), Maxx wrote:
>>
>> Do you have you own costume?
>
> Nah I leave the costumes for me lady - she's got the schoolgirl,
> French maid, pornstar and nurse ticked.
> Policewoman next :-)

Watch out for that baton.

> No comment about the "bowl in the wide half volley slot and get
> smashed until they slice one to gully" brainless tactics of your
> brainless bogan MJ then? Not surprising.

What was surprising Maxxie was that you got a response at all.

Tell me, I've been thinking of a Seth Efrican hol in the not too distant,
can Immigration use my criticisms of their cricketers' performances as a
reason to refuse entry?




alvey

[alvey]

"average speed". Watching the Oz I2 at normal speed didn't take enough time
to affect the average.

There's a thought: Did the post-match interview take longer than innings
batting time? Could be another first for Oz cricket there.



alvey

[Maxx]

On Nov 13, 12:00 am, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:
> On Sat, 12 Nov 2011 01:53:27 -0800 (PST), Maxx wrote:
> > On Nov 11, 10:16 pm, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:
> >> On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:55:54 -0800 (PST), Maxx wrote:
>
> >> Do you have you own costume?
>
> > Nah I leave the costumes for me lady - she's got the schoolgirl,
> > French maid, pornstar and nurse ticked.
> > Policewoman next :-)
>
> Watch out for that baton.

For sure, she's a freaky one for sure.

> > No comment about the "bowl in the wide half volley slot and get
> > smashed until they slice one to gully" brainless tactics of your
> > brainless bogan MJ then?  Not surprising.
>
> What was surprising Maxxie was that you got a response at all.

I see you snipped the bowling figures there...not surprising. I guess
Johnson is a zombie then?

> Tell me, I've been thinking of a Seth Efrican hol in the not too distant,
> can Immigration use my criticisms of their cricketers' performances as a
> reason to refuse entry?

If only!

Seriously though, when and where?

[Dave]

On Nov 13, 12:00 am, alvey <al...@atattat.com> wrote:

Our immigration officials will be unlikely to know any of our team
members names.

But welcome. Cape Town, game parks, mountains, Southern Cape Coast,
Natal north Coast what else?.

[Maxx]

> Natal north Coast what else?.-

I reckon he's coming for our bikini babes.

[alvey]

Dunno boys. Next year's booked so it's 2013 at the earliest, ergo planning
is pretty much at the "see some big animals" stage. What's the best season
to tour?



alvey

[Maxx]

Any time's a good time here in Sunny SA mate.