The Punishment and Rehabilitation of Asif and Shoaib

[arahim]

The legal matters will eventually take care of themselves but in this
day and age of washing dirty laundry in public the voyeristic society
must also be satisfied. So here are the ten steps to atonement

1. A canning administered by Peter Roebuck. After which at least he
will forgive them.
2. An apology to Pakistani public, which may do nothing for the
public, but will apparently satisfy Rameez Raja.
3. Never ever bowl a wicket taking delivery to Symonds and Hayden to
cancel out the unfair advantage.
4. Stop going to Hakims.
5. Attend a lecture series from Barry Bonds on how to avoid detection,
just in case, by using designer drugs.
6. Get Hair as an umpire on their end for the next five hundred overs
bowled.
7. Dick Pound gets to nickname Shoaib and Asif like he did Floyd
Landis calling him 'roid floyd.
8. Appear on the TV show "Cheaters" where the host shoves a copy of
the drug tests in their face asking "Why did you do it?" The faces
will be blurred to avoid identification.
9. Verbally carry and deliver Naseem Ashraf and Malcolm Speeds
comments to each other.
10. Together with Warne open the, "Antidoping Education Academy for
Young Cricketers". No canning will be allowed.