Best of RSB - September, 1997
Jeffrey Weiss
Each month a distinguished Committee of one unnamed rsber will present the
official "Best of rsb." This monthly highlight will be in recognition of those
very special posts that simply stand out from the crowd. The guidelines are
far too complex to go into, but suffice it to say that originality, content,
humor, and - most importantly - the whim of the Committee will play a large
role in the selections. The Committee's decisions are final, and intentional
grovelling will be looked upon with much disdain.
While it intends to recognize only one or two posts per month, the Committee
decided (unanimously) to award a single victor and a number of honorable
mentions for September. The purpose is twofold: To give the group a bit more
insight into the Committee's arcane judging process, and to help highlight the
lighter side of rsb (a worthwhile endeavor given recent events). And without
further ado, the "Best of RSB" for September, 1997:
The winning post comes from the frist week of the month, and from a relatively
new participant. Welcome, Doug, and congratulations. The Committee would like
to point out that it was only lukewarm on many of Doug's early offerings,
however they were caught laughing out loud from this one, and had no choice but
to give credit where credit's due. If nothing else, this indicates clearly the
integrity of the judging process. The winning post:
Subject Re: Question about "Blue Book of Cues"
From Smorga...@webtv.net (Smorgass Bored)
Date Fri, 5 Sep 1997 01:38:17 -0400
> Realizing that the Blue Book of Cues was such a success, I set out to do
> a similar book on pool balls. After finishing my book and sending it off
> to the least expensive printer I could find (Ed's Printing) I now find
> myself stuck with 2000 editions of "The Book of Blue Balls"
> Woe is me !
And now to the honorable mentions. From the nether-regions, "the Rock" offered
her true self to us all in this unabashed anectdote. Of course, we cannot
condone the use of alcohol as a mechanism to get into "Best of," but sometimes
it works:
Subject Pool in Wyoming
From asht...@aol.com (Ashtonne)
Date 15 Sep 1997 04:56:40 GMT
> ...
> Most embarrassing thing I did while in Dallas for BCA Academy: Wizard's
> pool hall keeps their talcum powder in little shakers littered all over the
> bar. I did a shot of Tequilla whilst paying too much concentration to the
> table....Lick, shake, drink, lick, lime, holy-sh*t!!!!!!! "Who dipped these
> limes in Talcum Powder!!!!!!"
>
> Hoo-RAH.
> ...
Hoo-RAH, indeed. Looks like Doug made the honorable mention category as well,
this time by revealing the true story behind an rsber's bold declaration of
apparent 9-ball achievement. The Committee does have a soft spot for exposes
[Ben's original post included by the Committee for context - Doug get yourself
a REAL newsreader, OK?]:
Subject Re: Just ran a 9-ball rack for the first time!
From Smorga...@webtv.net (Smorgass Bored)
Date Mon, 15 Sep 1997 00:01:11 -0400
] From bbeis...@weber.campus.mci.net (Ben Beishline):
] As the subject, says, I just ran a rack of 9 ball for the first time ever.
] Woo-hoo!
]
] I was practicing alone so no one could share the joy (or fork over cash),
] so I thought I'd post it here....
> What Ben NEGLECTED to say, was that he's 58 years old and has been playing
> everyday for 43 years and that he hit the cue-ball Twice on one shot.
> Ben, start OVER!
Next, we honor Frank Glenn (or is it Glenn Frank?). Anyway, he managed to
figure out how to summarize John Walkup's complex personality in a few simple
words. For this efficient bandwidth-saving summary, the Committee honors:
Subject Re: Final post: was Balabushka
From "Frank Glenn" < gle...@mnsinc.com (remove the leading space)>
Date 12 Sep 1997 22:01:53 GMT
> John Walkup <wal...@dimension.nhn.uoknor.edu> wrote in article
> <walkup.874090491@dimension>...
>> she...@tcg.anl.gov (Ron Shepard) writes:
>>
>>> In article <walkup.874047452@dimension>, wal...@dimension.nhn.uoknor.edu
>>> (John Walkup) wrote:
>>
>>>> she...@tcg.anl.gov (Ron Shepard) writes:
>
> John,
> Just a question here. Do you plan to sit up in your casket and argue with
> whom ever is giving your eulogy? ...
And, continuing on the "snappy answers" thread, the Committee also recognizes
this concise depiction of the all-too-finite production output of an individual
cuemaker:
Subject Re: Balabushka Story
From "Henry K. Miller" <cu...@erols.com>
Date 23 Sep 1997 21:49:50 GMT
>> Three things struck me as not quite right.
>> ...
>> 2. He said it was a 1977 model and according to the Blue Book these cues
>> were only made till 1975. Could he have been mistaken about the year?
>
> If it was an authentic Balabushka, it had to have been made prior to 1975
> when George B. passed away. As you can imagine, production fell off rather
> abruptly at this point.
Finally, just to remind everyone that CONTENT matters too, the Committee
recognizes another well-researched post from Thomas Wayne. Sure, we may or may
not agree with his view (the Committee prefers to remain obscure on issues) -
and that view is presented quite strongly as is Thomas' style - but we always
appreciate when someone takes the time to actually look into a topic and then
post their findings. We won't quote the whole thing here; those of you that
liked it have kept your own copies, we suspect:
Subject Re: Ivory
From Thomas Wayne via "Henry K. Miller" <cu...@erols.com>
Date 20 Sep 1997 10:25:32 GMT
> ...
> Well, Laura, this subject is important to me , too. In fact, it is so
> important that I have done considerable research over the last several
> years in an effort to keep current on the subject. What is most
> distressing to me is that so many people come by their "facts" in the
> same way you have - believing "common knowledge" and quoting things
> they're "pretty sure" they read somewhere....
> ...
> THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ELEPHANTS AND THEIR IVORY:
> ...
> WHO HAS BANNED THE INTERNATIONAL TRADE IN IVORY?
> ...
> EVERYBODY LOVES ELEPHANTS, SO WHAT COULD BE WRONG WITH BANNING COMMERCIAL
> TRADE IN ELEPHANT IVORY?
> ...
> SO, WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING HERE, ANYWAY?
> ...
This month, we seem to have focused quite a bit on the best humorous sound
bytes that hit rsb. Of course noone knows for sure, but we expect the
Committee to be looking more at thoughtful and helpful contributions in the
coming months. See you next month.
--
The "Best of RSB" Committee
Smorgass Bored
I'd like to take this opportunity to the thank the committee for it's
recognition and will act accordingly with the proper demeanor that comes
with such an honor. I called the Barbarachnid (creepy,scary,bloodsucking
spider wife) in to read my Award Post and when she finished,she said,
"is there any monetary award with this so-called honor"? " No, of course
not", I replied. "I didn't think so" , she said, as she whacked me
across the back of the head and told me to do something useful with my
life. Thanks again.
Doug W.
SnookerUSA
That should secure next months honour as well.
-Mark Kulaga
PS I hope she nailed you really hard too.
;O)
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JEFFIRSW
This group not only shares alot of good information but also some damn good
entertainment.
jeff wickham
bakersfield
Smorgass Bored
Jeff wrote: not only does this group provide alot of good
information,but some damn good entertainment too.
Jeff,
I feel it incumbent of me to try to inject some humor into this
newsgroup,because as far as information is concerned,I don't KNOW
anything.....................
Doug W.
Smorgass Bored
D.White,
I can only think of ONE appropriate name for the monthly award,and
that is :The BalaPostka !
PS
I would be GLAD to accept ANY nice cue that one of our illustrious
group would award and maybe then the Barbarachnid would allow me to
continue to play in this newsgroup.(And stop whacking me on the back of
the head every time she passes by)
Doug W.
dwhite1
Jeffrey Weiss <jeffre...@gs.com> wrote in article
<971006212...@rmd52.fi.gs.com>...
> Each month a distinguished Committee of one unnamed rsber will present
the
Jeffrey, you have way too much time on your hands. However, being an
active reader and occassional poster in rsb, I'd like to congratulate you
on an innovative approach to making this group a little more enjoyable --
a ray of sunshine piercing the moldy, rotting underbrush of the rsb bog, if
you will.
Has the committee considered naming its monthly award, or are we not privey
to such information? If not, I'd like to propose here that we hold a
contest for best award name. I'm sure one of the cue makers would be happy
to offer up one of their best cues for whoever presents the best award
name, right???
dwhite