How High The Bet ?
Smorgass Bored
<insert flashback music here>
I stopped at my brother's workplace and was talked into spending two
days at Spring Break assisting the young girls in their wet T-shirt
competitions and bikini contests. Man, I've still got it and so do they.
Anyway, it seems that brother lives ON THE BEACH (about 100' to the
surf) of the Gulf of Mexico in a beautiful 3 bedroom home will ALL the
amenities (I'd like to swap places with him- including significant
other). He lives just east of Panama City in a little beach community
called St. Joe Beach. There is a place there (within crawling distance
of the house) called "Regan's Pub & Oyster Bar" Est. Nov.14th 2000
157,920 Oyster's Shucked (when the t-shirt was printed).
After a hard day of rubbing up against nubile young things in Panama
City we ended up at Regan's depleting their oyster stock and keeping the
'shucker' employed.
The bar area had a 4x8 pooltable and the proximity to the beach and the
breeze had it in the lower 50°. I had on my Planet 9-Ball jacket with
the BIG logo of a planet that looks like a 9-ball (duh). All the locals
wanted to challenge my brother and I to some partners 8-ball and we
obliged. We won every game for hours, no matter what rules they made up
along the way. We stopped to take a break and eat MORE oysters and one
of the players asked me what I 'did' in Tampa. I told him that I was a
professional pool player (my brother almost blew an oyster out of his
nose). This fellow named Jim-Bob wanted to play me heads up. I told him
that I'd play, but I wouldn't play cheap. He told me that he didn't care
WHAT we played for as he racked the balls and I prepared to break.
I'd told him that I was called Tampa Tubby and as I smashed the balls
I exclaimed that I was playing him for his 'Bob'. At first, he thought
that I was kidding, but as it dawned on him that I was serious he became
VERY nervous. All activity stopped in the building as EVERYONE came to
sweat this game. The most serious game to ever take place in St. Joe
Beach,Fl. I got down to the eightball and Jim-Bob said that I had to
'bank it' AND we were also playing last pocket 8-ball. I'd made my last
ball in the side pocket and was in trouble with the way his balls were
laying on the table. When I asked if I could play the eight off of one
of his balls and he said yes, I kicked the eight from near the end rail
and off his ball into 'my' side pocket. GAME OVER. I'd won 'the Bob'.
Everyone laughed and cheered while now calling me "Tampa Tubby-Bob".
At the same time,everyone now called Jim-Bob simply JIM. Jim was
devasted. It was sinking in that he had lost his 'Bob' and he didn't
like it one little bit. People were now calling him 'Bobless' and his
boss (who was present) threatened to fire him and make him 'Jobless
Bobless'. He's been 'Bobbited'. He wanted a re-match. I said NO. I told
him that I would return in exactly one year and play him ONE GAME and an
opportunity to win his 'Bob' back.
I've spoken to my brother a few times since I've left St. Joe Beach
and he assures me NOONE has called him Jim-Bob since he lost and that
the word has spread up & down the beach.
They're planning a big 'special day' for next year and my return. I'm
thinking about breaking out my sling,walker, eye-patch, etc. to make it
REALLY exciting.
I know that I dance to beat of a different drum (at least I didn't
insist that he throw in a moon pie), but everyone seems to like it (so
far). I didn't get a BOP on the nose. Life is good. Does it get any
better than this ?
Tampa Tubby-Bob
Kirk Douglass
news:4198-3CA...@storefull-2315.public.lawson.webtv.net...
Tampa Tubby-Bob
TT-Bob,
That may be one of the best ever! Beating someone out of their name...
Kirk
ted harris
> Jim was devasted.
devastated
--
Ted Harris
Ted Harris Custom Cues
(410)621-0700
http://www.tedharris.com
"Smorgass Bored" <Smorga...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:4198-3CA...@storefull-2315.public.lawson.webtv.net...
dacote
lfigueroa
chuckles.
Lou Figueroa
still laughing
"Smorgass Bored" <Smorga...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:4198-3CA...@storefull-2315.public.lawson.webtv.net...
Richard Iachetta
Smorga...@webtv.net says...
> (*<~ It was on my way home from New Orleans two weeks ago ......
If the "Best of RSB" thing was still going on, this would be the top contender
of the month. Great story!
--
Rich Iachetta
iach...@us.ibm.com
I do not speak for IBM.
John Collins
John
"Smorgass Bored" <Smorga...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:4198-3CA...@storefull-2315.public.lawson.webtv.net...
Mike Page
Smorga...@webtv.net (Smorgass Bored) wrote:
> (*<~ It was on my way home from New Orleans two weeks ago ......
Fantastic story Doug!
yeehaaaaaa!
NEXT,
--
mike page <--jumpin the gun a little
fargo
~>*(((>< Big fish eat Little fish ><)))*<~
JoeyA
What was it that you were going to lose? Something just doesn't sound fair
but you are da man, "Tampa Tubby-Bob". What a heist. Others should learn
from the great one.
JoeyA
"Smorgass Bored" <Smorga...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:4198-3CA...@storefull-2315.public.lawson.webtv.net...
Gordon Matheson
"Smorgass Bored" heisted a Bob:
Smorg, That's a great tale. Would you be willing to sell that Bob? I
represent a Man With No Name and he said he would be willing to pay "almost"
anything for your Bob. He is weary of not having a name for all these years.
He hasn't found anyone who would cash a check or give him a credit card
sinc 1967.
Let me know your price for one Bob.
G. - name agent
Michael A.
his "Bob"?
-- Mike
Smorgass Bored
mich...@qadas.com (Michael A.)
his "Bob"?
-- Mike
(*<~ I told him I'd put up $20 cash money (remember,I was talkin to a
Jim-Bob). I just got off the phone with my brother and he told me that
'they' (the St. Joe Beach crowd) are putting up banners across U.S. 98,
having a band, a pig roast B-B-Q and beer & oysters festival for Tampa
Tubby-Bob Day next year.
I believe that Jim (formerly Jim-Bob) is engaged to be married soon to
a nice Polish girl. Since I am giving him an opportunity to win his
'Bob' back, I think that he should put up 'something' of equal value for
the wager. Maybe, I should have the chance to win one night with the new
bride OR $2.00.....
NEXT,
Doug
Lucky
Lucky
Smorga...@webtv.net (Smorgass Bored) wrote in message news:<4198-3CA...@storefull-2315.public.lawson.webtv.net>...
> (*<~ It was on my way home from New Orleans two weeks ago ......
> <insert flashback music here>
> I stopped at my brother's workplace and was talked into spending two
> days at Spring Break assisting the young girls in their wet T-shirt
> competitions and bikini contests. Man, I've still got it and so do they.
> Anyway, it seems that brother lives ON THE BEACH (about 100' to the
> surf) of the Gulf of Mexico in a beautiful 3 bedroom home will ALL the
> amenities (I'd like to swap places with him- including significant
> other). He lives just east of Panama City in a little beach community
> called St. Joe Beach. There is a place there (within crawling distance
> of the house) called "Regan's Pub & Oyster Bar" Est. Nov.14th 2000
> 157,920 Oyster's Shucked (when the t-shirt was printed).
> After a hard day of rubbing up against nubile young things in Panama
> City we ended up at Regan's depleting their oyster stock and keeping the
> 'shucker' employed.
> The bar area had a 4x8 pooltable and the proximity to the beach and the
> breeze had it in the lower 50?. I had on my Planet 9-Ball jacket with
Tony DeAngelo
with Jim or Barry I'm going to refer him to this post. Priceless.
David Malone
(Smorgass Bored) wrote:
>Since I am giving him an opportunity to win his
>'Bob' back, I think that he should put up 'something' of equal value for
>the wager.
Why not go all the way and play for his 'Jim'. After that he'll be
known as 'Hey, you..." and you'll be the one and only Tampa Tubby
Jim-Bob...
David "The Hamster" Malone.
Smorgass Bored
(Smorgass Bored) wrote:
Since I am giving him an opportunity to win his 'Bob' back, I think that
he should put up 'something' of equal value for the wager.
Why not go all the way and play for his 'Jim'. After that he'll be
known as 'Hey, you..." and you'll be the one and only Tampa Tubby
Jim-Bob...
David "The Hamster" Malone.
(*<~ Because I have TOO much class and wouldn't want to appear
pretentious.
Besides, Tampa Tubby Jim-Bob just doesn't 'sing'.
Tampa Tubby-Bob
Gordon Matheson
"Smorgass Bored" <Smorga...@webtv.net>
>
> (*<~ Because I have TOO much class and wouldn't want to appear
> pretentious.
>
> Besides, Tampa Tubby Jim-Bob just doesn't 'sing'.
> Tampa Tubby-Bob
If you really want your name to sing, make a match with Tammy Terrell. If
you can win either of her names it works. I'm not sure if I like Tampa Tubby
Terrell or Tampa Tubby Tammy better.
Slim Hampton