Skydiving Cat Story
Jazz
Many of you may have heard this already, but I hadn't and this seems a
good place to share something funny relating to our sport, so here goes:
A skydiver named Bill is preparing to go on a short vacation to jump at
some other
DZs and finds he has nobody to watch his cat while he's away. He goes
to John, his home DZO, and asks if the cat can just stay in the hanger
for a few days while he's gone. John says, "sure, no problem." So the
guy leaves plenty of food and water and heads out.
Sure enough, the next day, during a particularly rowdy jump party, one
of the jumpers asks the question about whether or not cats can really
land on their feet from any height without injury. One of his fellows
is positive they can, grabs the cat, takes it up on the next load, and
"de-planes" it at 3500 for a feline hop n pop.
Sadly, nobody ever taught the cat how to do a good PLF, so he burns in
doing 150 mph and buries 16 feet into the runway. That night, the guy
calls the DZO to see how the cat is.
"I'm sorry to tell you," says John, "but your cat's dead."
"DEAD!!????" Screams the skydiver. "How could you just tell me he's dead
like that? Couldn't you break it to me easy over the phone? Like saying
the cat was stuck on the hanger roof, or caught up in a canopy or some
thing like that? Then I'd be prepared!!! Did you have to just come out
and blurt out that he's DEAD???!!!!"
John apologizes for his insensitive answer, and the skydiver says "It's
OK, I guess. I'll be home tomorrow anyway to take care of the body. By
the way, did you stop in to check on my Mom while I was gone like I
asked you to?"
John pauses and replies "Ugh, Bill.... Your Mom's stuck on the roof of
the hanger."
My apologies to all the cat lovers out there.
Blue Skies and Cold Beers to all!
Jazz
Bill Von Novak
In article <3395CC...@stny.lrun.com>,
js...@stny.lrun.com wrote:
> One of his fellows
> is positive they can, grabs the cat, takes it up on the next load, and
> "de-planes" it at 3500 for a feline hop n pop.
true story -
back in the old days at otay, a jumper (who shall remain nameless)
decided to try the same thing with a particularly ornery and annoying
cat. he put the cat in a bag, took it to altitude, and jumped with it.
he opened the bag and tried to dump the cat out in freefall, to see what
it would do.
the cat, being no idiot, came out all claws and teeth. he managed to
get a grip on the bag, the guy's hand, and his jumpsuit, in that order.
for a while the two battled in freefall. he pulled, hoping the opening
shock would de-feline him, but the cat hung on. by now he was covered
with scratches and his jumpsuit was torn to bits. he had to stop
fighting with the cat to flare, but he vowed he would kill the thing as
soon as he landed.
two feet above the ground, the cat jumped, ran off, and was never seen
again.
cat 1, skydiver 0.
-bill von
(and we won't even mention the pig . . .)
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
A8O
This sounds alot like a article written in SKYDIVING mag about ten
years ago, by a well-warped member of the HERD. I think it was called "In
Pursuit of Cat Chasing", if you havn't read it its worth digging up.
Arnold
Clark
Bill Von Novak wrote:
>
> -bill von
> (and we won't even mention the pig . . .)
>
> -------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Do Tell About The Pig!!!
I just saw pictures today of a pig jump... For real...
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Sandy Wambach
Clark wrote:
>
> Bill Von Novak wrote:
> >
> > -bill von
> > (and we won't even mention the pig . . .)
> >
> > -------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
> > http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
>
> Do Tell About The Pig!!!
>
> I just saw pictures today of a pig jump... For real...
>
the early 1980's (just before he was roasted!) Amazingly enough, he
slowly circled under his PC (that's "para-commander", for you young
folks who love computers) and landed upwind, IN THE PEA GRAVEL!
Anyone else remember this incident? I think Doug Sayer was
involved........
Sandy Wambach