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Frefallin' Cats

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Walt Appel

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May 12, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/12/95
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For years I've heard rumors of the existence of a skydiving film featuring
freefalling cats. I've heard it a bunch of times from a bunch of people,
but I've never seen it. Can someone confirm that it, like Manley "WRONG
WRONG WRONG, I'M STILL ALIVE!!!) Butler, exists?

The story goes something like this: Years ago, a rather creative skydiver
decided that he wanted to get footage (this was in the days of film, before
video was invented) of cats in freefall. He exited a plane with a box full
of cats and dumped them out in freefall. (All of this was supposedly being
filmed by a freefall photographer who jumped with him.) Unexpectedly, the
cats turned out to be natural flyers; they flew to him and grabbed on with
their claws. He was unable to get them off before pull time, so he had to
suffer a terminal opening shock with multiple cats having their claws sunk
deeply into his skin. The cats reportedly hung on until landing, at which
time they ran like hell, unhurt.

If this film really exists, I gotta see it! Is it real or just a cruel
hoax?

Walt Appel

Bob Church

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May 13, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/13/95
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In article <3p1n46$g...@huron.eel.ufl.edu>
afn1...@freenet.ufl.edu (Andy Gamache) writes:


> go on in his county). The broadcast included a history of cat chasing,
> interviews with the contenders, one near cat bounce, one definite cat
> bounce and one severly scratched skydiver. All other cats and skydivers
> survived.
>

Lots of little tiny AADs might have prevented this fatality!


Bob Church

Up2jump

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May 13, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/13/95
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Walt

You sure you aren't referring to "The man who chased cats" - a great
piece of fiction that was in Skydiving magazine years ago. (And one of
the funniest, most contreversial pieces I have EVER read...)

Robbie Culver
We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures
of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free! WE CAN LEARN
TO FLY!
-Jonathon Livingston Seagull

Andy Gamache

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May 13, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/13/95
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Up2jump (up2...@aol.com) wrote:
: Walt

: You sure you aren't referring to "The man who chased cats" - a great
: piece of fiction that was in Skydiving magazine years ago. (And one of
: the funniest, most contreversial pieces I have EVER read...)

Neal Boortz, a radio broadcaster for WGST in Atlanta, had a live telecast
from the 1988 Georgia Cat Chasing Championships. He apparently set this
fictional event up for weeks and had most of the people in the Atlanta
area believing it (ie: law suit threats, and at least one incumbent
sheriff that claimed he would not be re-elected if he allowed this to

go on in his county). The broadcast included a history of cat chasing,
interviews with the contenders, one near cat bounce, one definite cat
bounce and one severly scratched skydiver. All other cats and skydivers
survived.


I got a copy of it from a friend but those that are interested may be able
to purchase a copy from the station (I have no idea what the address is).
A note on the tape says that all proceeds got to "The Fund for Animals."


Blue Skies, De-clawed Cats!!


--
=============================================================================
E F CRW
Andy Gamache aga...@junix.ju.edu (prefered)
D-16056 Sr Rigger SJ8

Pat Works

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May 14, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/14/95
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f...@sam.neosoft.com (Walt Appel) wrote:

> If this film really exists, I gotta see it! Is it real or just a cruel
> hoax?
In the weird old days '60-'61
A coupla morticians who jumped at Bee-Line airport in Houston
Experimented with various animals in free fall. Some were in little parachutes.

Chicken -- no parachute. Lotsa chicken sh*t. If you don't give a cut, they
lose feathers. If you give a cut they sorta fly until their wings
get tired. Then they just streamer-in.

Dog -- Previously reported. Dogs like to parachute. But you have to tie
them in. Once they become skydivers they jump when ever the door is
open. With or without a parachute.

Monkey -- reported from another DZ. Monkey climbed lines to sit on
top of parachute, where it was *safer*

Cat -- Impossible to get the critter out of the plane. Cat reportedly
grew long, powerful arms, sharper claws, and a very *hell-no-I-won't go*
attitude.

I don't think there was any footage. The above was told to me by the
morticians George and.... They were encouraged to stop experimenting
after the cat.

Meanwhile, at Texas A&M the Richardson Brothers were experimenting with
fruit and vegtables. Turned out that grapefruits fall about the same
as we did.

Crazy Pat

Bob Church

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May 14, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/14/95
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In article <3p5eba$o...@kaiwan.kaiwan.com>
Pat Works <patw...@kaiwan.com> writes:

>
> Cat -- Impossible to get the critter out of the plane. Cat reportedly
> grew long, powerful arms, sharper claws, and a very *hell-no-I-won't go*
> attitude.
>

I've done some dangerous things, but trying to force a cat out of an
airplane seems suicidal. I'd want thick leather gauntlets, a face
shield, and a kevlar vest, minimum!!!!

Bob Church

Ed Schutz

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May 15, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/15/95
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I saw a tv show last year about cats that fell from hi-rise apartments
and lived. It seems that a cat can survive a fall to concrete better if
it falls six stories or more. Less than six stories and the cat just
tries to land on its feet. POW!

A fall of six or more stories gives that cat time to spread its legs and
grab some air. Then it lands on its chin, chest, belly, and hips. They
interviewed several cats who had fallen long distances (12 stories) and
they usually had broken ribs, and jaw, but that's all. They walk kind of
funny now, but hey, better than nuthin', right?

The cats tend to jump out windows to steel railings and slip and fall. I
guess they're not as cool as they think they are, but at least they can
skydive.

Which led me to consider taking a stray up with me. Knowing cats, you'd
have to keep them in a box until you were out of the plane, or else you'd
be wearing them for sure. If they could fall 12 stories and live after
hitting concrete, they should be able to fall any distance and land on
the grass without, well, you know.

I'm pretty sure you couldn't catch the same cat to try it a second time.

I'd mostly be afraid that the cat would be able to fly to a skydiver and
put an effective lock hold on his closing flaps. I'm not gonna try it!

Ed Schutz C-24412
sch...@oakland.edu

Matthew Swinden

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May 16, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/16/95
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>Dog -- Previously reported. Dogs like to parachute. But you have to
tie
>them in. Once they become skydivers they jump when ever the door is
>open. With or without a parachute.

I can just imagine what the dog must of thought when he jumped out
forgetting the chute... "Cool I'm doing it again...I'M, FLYING!! This
is better than licking my loins in my front yard!! Hey wait...I'm
forgetting something here...."

Matt Swinden
D-15666 I'm often asked why I jump out of planes.
I tell 'em because the VIEW IS AWSOME, the DOOR IS OPEN, and I CAN.
Oh yeah...the beer is COLD.


Mike Spurgeon

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May 17, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/17/95
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When this thread started, I took a while to find my original copies
of the following, from several years ago:

Gorden Baxter, in his 'Bax Seat' column in Flying Magazine wrote two
columns on this subject, the first in the Jun 1980 issue and a followup
in the May 1982 issue.

Go to your library and look them up. I think you'll find them more
than a little amusing.

Blue skies,

Mike Spurgeon

--

-----
---------------------------------------------------------------
"grblb blabt unt mipt speeb!! oot piffoo blaboo..." -- Opus

ch...@pixie.co.za

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May 18, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/18/95
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I saw this in another conference...


> > THE SECRET OF ANTIGRAVITY...
> > -----------------------------------------------
> >
> > If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the
> > floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window
> > or other high and towering place, it will land on its feet.
> >
> > But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side
> > up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window?
> > Will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on
> > the ground?
That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get),you
have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when
released, will quickly move to a height where the forces of
cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium
point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing
lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent....
---
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Adrie Vos

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May 19, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/19/95
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ch...@pixie.co.za wrote:
>
> I saw this in another conference...
>
>
> > > THE SECRET OF ANTIGRAVITY...
> > > -----------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the
> > > floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window
> > > or other high and towering place, it will land on its feet.
> > >
> > > But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side
> > > up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window?
> > > Will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on
> > > the ground?
> That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get),you
> have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when
> released, will quickly move to a height where the forces of
> cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium
> point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing
> lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent....


IT WORKS!!!!

I've tried it with our cat, since it loves butter, I finally got rid of it (in a human way)
Something about some Greek blokes and sunshine keeps nagging in the
back off my brain but since here in Holland we rarely see any sun
it shouldn't be a problem.


Tom "Lance" Kirwin

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May 23, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/23/95
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ch...@pixie.co.za wrote:
>
> I saw this in another conference...
>
>
> > > THE SECRET OF ANTIGRAVITY...
> > > -----------------------------------------------
> > >

The TRUE secret to human flight, as provided in "Hitchhikers Guide to
the Galaxy", is to jump at the ground...and miss.

Nonetheless, your theory merits further research, i.e. Can jelly be
substituted for butter? On a 1 to 1 ratio? Is there an optimal ratio
between size of toast and size of cat?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Cheers,
Lance

Planeout

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May 27, 1995, 3:00:00 AM5/27/95
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Matt,why don't you tell us about the pig story,by Lgonzo in Otay,I know
alot of people would like to hear it,especially me.


D-9485
Look in your log book to see who this is.

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