Unlogged FUBAR Dives
Steven B. Harris
CN STORIES #1 IN A SERIES
THE INCIDENT PIT:
(That's Right Out Near La Jolla Cove, Isn't It?)
A long time ago (never mind how long), in a galaxy, far, far away
(in Southern California), I once upon a time find myself treading
water at night, in the open ocean. This is how that happened.
Being out in the Pacific at night would not be such a bad thing,
except that this time I find that I am also caught in a rip
current with no fins, and my drysuit is full of water. Also, my
tank is not on my back, nor is my BC. Actually, my cylinder is
hanging from its valve handle in my left hand, a naked steel tank
which is doing its best to sink, and sink me with it. What is
keeping me afloat is mainly a partially inflated BC, the tangled
straps of which I have in a death-grip in my other hand. My dive
buddy is no where to be seen.
It is times like these that one wishes for an extra arm. And
while you're at it, for a time machine.
Just Another Nice Day
For those who don't know it, the La Jolla Cove beach is a nice
California beach with a nice lifeguard stand-- during the
daytime. In fact, the beach looks SO tame, that my plan to test
my new drysuit in the ocean for the first time, does not look
very interesting. Up the hill a bit, however, I notice that one
can stand on top of 200-foot eroding cliffs and look down on
grottos with pretty ocean and white spume, and hear the barkings
of California sea lions as they do whatever sea lions do. Access
from the cliffs is tricky. A local store even has a back door
leading into a mine-like shaft with descending stairs carved into
the solid rock, which lets one down to a grotto. This grotto was
perhaps an old prohibition-smuggling or poaching place in times
past, but now, it's only the back door of a curio shop. That's
the kind of thing there is, here. You have to know where to look.
We park in the lot. The store is now closing for the day, as it
is getting late. But my dive buddy and I consider that we still
have plenty of time to get our gear to the ocean below, by means
of a trail which is approximately marked, leading down the guano-
stained sandstone cliffs to a very small flat rocky protrusion
which juts into the Pacific. We've been down it before, though
never as divers. "Snorkeling Access Only" (or something of this
sort) says the trail sign at the top. Surely it means also
access for snorkelers who also have scuba tanks. It certainly
didn't SAY no scuba diving-- it just says no cliff-jumping or
cliff-diving. They are concerned about broken necks, obviously.
Well, we plan not to jump or dive from the cliffs. No problem.
So, we just do it. After wrestling steel cylinders and weights
and other gear down the cliff "trail" in several Sherpa-type
trips, we assemble at a semi flat place at the cliff bottom, at
the ocean edge. It's not large and is there is no sand at the
bottom of the rock face, but that's okay. The beach, if one can
call it that, is a few sections of exposed sandstone, forming a
20 foot bed of very sharp eroded rock, half submerged. A little
algae grows on this. Up the "beach," across a narrow channel with
water flowing in and out with each wave, three or four sea lions
bark at each other in the late afternoon light. I can see one
creature lying half in the water on its side with one flipper up,
in the manner of all sea mammals. One animal on the land is
bigger than the others-- perhaps the beachmaster of a small
harem. The only other animated life visible consists of a few
crabs and-- yes-- a pair of real snorkelers, just leaving. We
say hi to them, exchange a few pleasantries, and then we have the
place all to ourselves. The surf crashes a bit as the tide came
in. The sun is low on the horizon, but the water is green, and
the kelp looks interesting. The snorkelers have survived, so it
can't be that bad out there. All in all, the place looks much
more interesting than the weenie beach half a mile away.
Alas, my new suit doesn't want to cooperate in today's adventure.
As I strip to my trunks and T-shirt and get the thing on, I find
that the right wrist seal, despite having had one extra ring
recently removed at the dive shop, is still way too tight. I
hadn't tested it again after the removal. Another of many
mistakes. That hand is now swelling, and cannot be ignored. I
have no scissors. In my kit is a needle. I use it to puncture the
edge of the seal, and then one rip-stop ring on the seal. Ah,
better. Then I watch in consternation as the tear through the
rubber continues though two more seal rings, which I had NOT
punctured. Now the wrist is basically open to the sea. It's not
supposed to do that.
In such situations on a dive boat, one generally uses duct tape.
A commercial diver who once worked taking oysters out of Narra-
gansett bay, told me you could make a good dry-seal with an
electrical glove, a piece of PVC pipe, and a radiator hose clamp.
But I have none of these, either. So I spend some uncomfortable
minutes stuffing a sock in the seal and bandaging it tight with
my wrist computer strap. It will have to do. My dive buddy,
impatient as always, has assembled my BC and tank for me. She
sits and gingerly slides into the water. "Come on!" So I put on
my rig, test the reg, inflate the BC, sit on the sharp rock shelf
and very carefully slide off also. No, something is still quite
wrong, for the suit is leaking badly-- I can't tell where from.
Ooooooh! My front is wet, and my right arm, and the cold Pacific
ocean is creeping up my legs from the feet.
I decide to let it happen for a bit. Damn if I'm going to abort
for a little water. Ducking under, I see half a dozen lobsters
out for the evening, enjoying themselves unmolested in this
marine preserve. The water is thick with kelp. I don't have quite
enough weight, but with the suit filling up, I decide not to burp
it, because I will probably soon little enough buoyancy as is.
Finally, there is no more ignoring it. Time to get back on the
rock and try again. I tell my buddy that I'm going back to the
rock, in order to check myself out. "Arp! Arp!" protest the sea
lions, as this time I prepare to exit the surf onto the rock
directly below them.
Uh, oh. And now I begin to encounter a new problem. It's MUCH
easier to get into the water here than out of it. Hmmm. Part of
the reason is that I've been pulled downshore. I'm now trying a
rock shelf a little higher than I left, and also, I weigh more. I
can NOT get out for a time, but after some time waiting for a
bigger wave, I finally manage it, lying flat. Ouch, even through
the full suit and gloves I can feel it's sharp out here. My suit
is full of water up to the knees, and when I stand and stagger, I
look like the Michellin Tire Man.
Something is now dragging down my back, and I find that my dive
bud has not really cinched my tank very well, and I've made my
own mistake by failing to check it. It's come out of the straps,
a complete mess. It's now getting dark enough that I need my
light to see just how bad it is. I decide that it's bad enough
that I'm going to have to disconnect the tank in order to sort it
out. Maybe I'm through for the day, and I'm not going to get to
use this air at all. So be it. I pull off my fins and stagger up
the rocks a bit. The sea lion bull is 25 feet away on a little
shelf just above me, and he's a monster who looks at least 10
feet long. "Ark!" he says. I ignore him, but don't go any further
in his direction. Okay, I will do the repair right here. I get
out of the rig, unscrew the DIN connect to my primary, disconnect
the hoses from BC, and pull the octopus out of the mess. Untwist
this strap, okay. Now, position the light, and the tank goes back
in here....
The wave that hits me feels like a tsunami. Whoooaaaahhh! I'm
lifted off the rock, and I have time only to grab all the
equipment I can before I'm sucked back out into the ocean. The
frigging animal had been up there for a reason-- that's obviously
exactly how high you have to go in order to avoid the water
completely. My spot had not been a good one. Now, with the tank
disconnected completely from the rig, I have no flotation for it,
and it's held up only by my hand. I cannot find the reg. The fins
are gone. Me, my techy parts, and I, have been scattered into the
sea.
At times like this, many thoughts go through one's mind. The
first is that this can't possibly be happening to me, and that
people maybe actually manage to die making one mistake after
another, like this. That's other people. It can't be ME. The fact
that it's dark does not help. The next thought is embarrassment:
if I drown they'll never figure out how it happened-- and if they
do, they'll rightly conclude that I am (or was in life) an
incredible dope. This is not the way I wanted to be remembered,
folks.
Then comes the bargaining stage: I can still get out of this if I
resign myself to loss of some equipment. Yes. The tank,
obviously, cannot be gotten to shore, as it and I are being
pulled in the opposite direction and I have no fin power. I'm
loathe to let it go. That means admitting accident. In my mind,
as the suit continues to fill, is actually a faint recollection
of a favorite scene in the novel _The Right Stuff_, where Grissom
is sinking at sea in his spacesuit, weighed down by a thousand
pounds of souvenir mercury death dimes. Some high altitude
balloon guy in a spacesuit actually did drown like that in the
ocean, if I remember right. Random thoughts, nothing very
productive. I am thoughtlessly surprised at how light the tank
is, under water. It's not at all like that when you're lugging
it, and I've never really had it free in the water before. Why
would I? Interesting. It will be negatively buoyant no matter
what I do, though-- I know this much about HP steels. If it was
an AL I could maybe let some air out and use it as a float.
Okay, the hell with it; I've never seen a hearse with a luggage
rack. I let the cylinder go (ouch) and it's silently gone without
a trace in the black water beneath me. No bubbles. None expected.
Goodbye, $200. I have now officially made it to the first step of
Divers In Trouble Anonymous, by admitting that I have a problem.
Next.
The next step is to make sure my light doesn't go the same way. I
am panicked at losing all light, altogether. For I have no backup
on this dive-- it wasn't supposed to be a night dive. The
geniuses who made my light have made it also negatively buoyant,
at least when filled with alkaline D cells. If I slip, it will go
the way of the tank, and just as fast. Not that it's doing me
much good. The beam is diffused underwater by a lot of white crap
and kelp debris, and seems to be merely ruining my night vision.
Still, I don't dare turn it off. I wind the light cord around one
wrist and hold onto the BC with both hands. The mask and snorkel
are around my neck, and I put them on. Now it comes to me that
I'm actually going to have to use the feature of the BC where it
can be manually inflated by pushing both valves and blowing into
it. So classless. I can't get the BC back on, in the awkward
drysuit, and I can't see well enough to figure out where the
tangle is. I do manage to jam one arm into it. There. Now I may
wash up in Hawaii, but I'll still wash up somewhere.
I look for my air delivery system and more or less confirm the
worst. I'd disconnected it for untangling, and sure enough, it's
gone. My octopus is now crawling on the bottom with the other
octopi, being fingered by giant protected lobsters. The situation
is officially FUBAR now.
The top of the shore cliffs is an inky line, and I can tell I'm
getting farther out by the diminishing sound of the sea lions.
Between myself and them, though, suddenly I see a light twinkle
in the kelp beds. I manage to point my own light at it, and
waggle it. Soon, a head breaks the surface, then I see a brighter
light. "Hey," I hear a faint call, "there's a lot of lobsters
down here!"
Great, she's having fun.
"I need some HELP, goddamnit!" I observe. Soon enough, my good
dive buddy comes paddling up with all of the seriousness and
focus of a labrador retriever puppy with an attention deficit
disorder.
"Whazamatter?"
"I've lost my tank, fins, reg--- everydamnthing! Got washed out
to sea by a wave! Tow me back!" To her credit she doesn't ask
questions. We have some difficulty finding a current in the
direction of shore, but we eventually get in. Now we find
ourselves being pulled in and out, along a rock face which is
considerably far away from where we still hear the sea lions.
"Has it occurred to you that it might be a bit harder to get out,
than in?" I ask.
"Hey, this whole thing wasn't MY idea," she says. Obviously if it
is turning out badly, it was my idea. I have no answer for this.
At this point I don't remember whose idea it was.
I am thinking of the Crane story,"The Open Boat." We keep looking
for a way out, always just 2 feet from safety, and always having
no way to get to it in this surf. Here is where I pull the
cellphone out of the drybag, and dial 911. If I had one, which I
do not. And if I wouldn't rather die, than suffer that much
embarrassment. Which at this point I still would. For a while
more, anyway.
And now, some luck. At one spot I manage to roll onto a ledge,
pull my dive weights out (I'd forgotten that), and put on my BC
properly, before the next wave gets me. I'm now back out in the
ocean, but with inflated BC buckled on, AND snorkel AND mask. So
I'm basically drown-proof. I think. Now, unless I hit my head or
something springs a leak, I might be able to do this all night.
For the next 15 minutes my bud and I spend time clutching sea
grass along black walls when the wave currents don't go our
direction, and floating along with them when they do. The tide is
really coming in now. Our lights, when we can manipulate them
between handfuls of grass, show fantastic pictures of foam and
spray and pretty jagged rocks. Sometimes the grass breaks and
we're pulled out, or back. The power of the ocean on rocks is
more than a little disconcerting. But we soldier on. It's DARK.
No stars, no moon. The sea lions, once a noisy annoyance, are now
our lighthouse and our foghorn. We draw below their position
where they sit barking invisibly on their perches, and pass on.
Finally, we are there. At our familiar entrance point, I find my
ledge and make it out of the water on an appropriate wave. Then
it's scramble up the sandstone ledge, on which I intend to lie
head downward, letting the ocean run out of my suit. One, two.
Water out, humility in. Water out, humility in.
My bud, meanwhile, has insisted on going back, and I am too
befuddled to object. Just to rub salt in the wound, she goes out
one more time below the Sea Lion Perch, carrying both lights, to
look for my stuff. Just to show that with full equipment you can
do damn near anything. Of course, it's a lost cause.
Not. In ten minutes she manages to pull up my reg, my tank, and
even one black fin. So I go down to the shore soggily, where,
finally working as a team, we get my stuff out. Then we get my
dive bud out. She is so tired she can't crawl until I remove her
dive weights. But she's one game duck. Then off with the fins,
and we sit on them, protesting weakly, while another wave comes
in. Then crawl, baby, crawl. Infantry crawl with fins in the
arms. We take apart our gear WAY above the water line. Then rest.
Then fall down. Then rest again. By the time we get back up to
the truck with the tanks and all the other gear an hour later, we
both want to die. The truth is that if scuba gives you a heart
attack, which it well might, it probably won't be in the water.
Rather, if your heart gets you, it will probably be while you're
schlepping all your gear to and from shore....
In the end, I decide not to log this one as an official dive. I
decide that if I did, it would in fairness have to count as a
negative dive, canceling out some previous ones. :-\ In fact, I
wonder if it might be grounds to have a hollow square of divers
turn out to see them rip off my NAUI patch, break my mask, and
brand me with a Man Of War tentacle.
So no log entry. But a few things, looking back on it, still
stand out in retrospect. By way of end, I offer them for
consideration.
1) Don't take apart your gear on the wet rocks. They are wet for
a reason. ;-)
2) A dive buddy is not much good if he or she isn't there.
Several oaths were sworn by both of us after the above fiasco,
which haven't been broken since.
3) In California, you'd better be comfortable snorkeling, before
you dive offshore without supervision. You wanna die? Listen up.
4) Don't be doing anything in the ocean at sunset, in a place
you're not completely familiar with. If you're going to go night
diving, start it after nightfall, where it should be more obvious
what the dangers are, before you go in. Some places that are
quite safe in daytime, might not be, after dark.
5) Watch those beach entrances. They can be like wreck entrances
if you get the wrong beach, or the tide changes. You've heard of
the roach motel? Maybe The Hotel California? Such a lovely
place, such a lovely place. But (maybe) you can't never leave.
6) Zip that drysuit zipper down to the VERY end. (Yep, screwed
that up, too. FUBAR, I said).
7) You learn by your minor mistakes. Some stuff you just can't
read about. Captain Smith of the Titanic had just too clean a
record, and thus didn't believe he was in trouble, soon enough.
It can happen. If you've been in trouble you will learn to
recognize trouble, and learn not to deny trouble. This is half
the battle to solving trouble. Denial is not just a river in
Egypt.
8) Bright yellow fins. Bright. Yellow.
9) Duct tape. Scissors. Tweezers.
10) Arrange for sea lions. They applaud well and they don't write
reviews.
Captain Nemo
Michael J. Blitch
<sbha...@ix.netcom.com@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>
>CN STORIES #1 IN A SERIES
>
>
>
>THE INCIDENT PIT:
>(That's Right Out Near La Jolla Cove, Isn't It?)
>
>A long time ago (never mind how long), in a galaxy, far, far away
>(in Southern California), I once upon a time find myself treading
>water at night, in the open ocean. This is how that happened.
>In the end, I decide not to log this one as an official dive. I
>decide that if I did, it would in fairness have to count as a
>negative dive, canceling out some previous ones. :-\ In fact, I
>wonder if it might be grounds to have a hollow square of divers
>turn out to see them rip off my NAUI patch, break my mask, and
>brand me with a Man Of War tentacle.
<snip> Great story. I love reading reports like this. Full or detail,
humor, and learning points.
>So no log entry. But a few things, looking back on it, still
>stand out in retrospect. By way of end, I offer them for
>consideration.
So Scott, is this what your 'unlogged dives' consist of? <GD&R>
(Grinning, Ducking, and Running)
You know I love ya!
--
Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord:
83: If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
Jack Connick
other ones.
Scott
Michael J. Blitch <mbli...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message
news:97p0vsgp8rjvs2q3t...@4ax.com...
> So Scott, is this what your 'unlogged dives' consist of? <GD&R>
> (Grinning, Ducking, and Running)
> You know I love ya!
Lets see:
Grabbing a log at 30 feet, with arms and legs, fully inflating a 100# OMS,
then releasing my grip.
5 or 6 times. I would come out of the water to my waist.
Jumping off the boat, BC fully deflated, headed for 80 foot bottom, when I
realized I had no mask on.
Then there was the quarry dive, to 320 feet on gas a buddy of mine mixed and
said it was cool.
The switch to air from whatever he mixed us (at 220), was like a bong hit.
We survived, unhurt, but it still makes my skin crawl when I think back on
that one. But, he had TDI shingles, so, I knew he knew WTF he was doing.
<shudder>
There are many more, I just cant remember them now.
Scott
--
If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; and if you can't
pick it up, paint it.
--Anonymous (1940's saying)--
Stroke Diver
Jack Connick wrote:
> I'd log it. You learned more from this one dive then you did in 1- or 20
> other ones.
>
> > From: Steven B. Harris <sbha...@ix.netcom.com@ix.netcom.com>
> > Organization: MindSpring Enterprises
> > Newsgroups: rec.scuba
> > Date: Fri, 20 Oct 2000 13:00:19 GMT
> > Subject: Unlogged FUBAR Dives
> >
> > In the end, I decide not to log this one as an official dive. I
> > decide that if I did, it would in fairness have to count as a
> > negative dive, canceling out some previous ones. :-\
I'd send it in to Ripley's.
--
Stay Wet,
Stroke Diver, TS
Rich Lesperance
Steven B. Harris <sbha...@ix.netcom.com@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
news:8spgdr$54j$1...@slb7.atl.mindspring.net...
>
> CN STORIES #1 IN A SERIES
>
Thanks for an entertaining and informative story! You should write for a
living (but hopefully, will get your subject material from elsewhere <g>.)
Rich
Icarus (Dennis)
Dennis
Steven B. Harris <sbha...@ix.netcom.com@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
news:8spgdr$54j$1...@slb7.atl.mindspring.net...
>
> CN STORIES #1 IN A SERIES
<snip>
OldSalt
<sco...@hctc.REMOVETHIScom> wrote and since I have Supernews, it's
amazing that I could even see it:
>Jumping off the boat, BC fully deflated, headed for 80 foot bottom, when I
>realized I had no mask on.
Did this but not with my mask.... I forgot my weights. Couldn't
understand why I wasn't dropping and to top it off, it was on a dive
that hub had with students. Not cool at all. But then again, hub
and several others have done this too in their zeal to get into the
water. Guess I don't feel so bad. LOL
moyo...@mindspring.com
How about doing a drift dive and trying to get down fast enough to not
miss a wreck and wind up near burying yourself in the sand at the
bottom because you are A. Overwieghted and B. not having your bouyancy
squared away...talk about embarrassing.
Chuck Tribolet
- Those who have very few dives.
- Those who admit they have jumped in without their weights.
- Those who lie about it.
--
Chuck Tribolet
tri...@garlic.com
http://www.almaden.ibm.com/cs/people/triblet
Silicon Valley: Best day job in the world.
"OldSalt" <Babet...@removethisHotmail.com> wrote in message news:5tg2vs8lrkcfpoh5o...@4ax.com...
Bob Crownfield
>
> On Sat, 21 Oct 2000 03:23:11 -0400, OldSalt
> <Babet...@removethisHotmail.com> wrote:
>
> ><sco...@hctc.REMOVETHIScom> wrote and since I have Supernews, it's
> >amazing that I could even see it:
> >
> >>Jumping off the boat, BC fully deflated, headed for 80 foot bottom, when I
> >>realized I had no mask on.
> >
> >Did this but not with my mask.... I forgot my weights. Couldn't
> >understand why I wasn't dropping and to top it off, it was on a dive
> >that hub had with students. Not cool at all. But then again, hub
> >and several others have done this too in their zeal to get into the
> >water. Guess I don't feel so bad. LOL
>
> miss a wreck and wind up near burying yourself in the sand at the
> bottom because you are A. Overwieghted and B. not having your bouyancy
> squared away...talk about embarrassing.
I get a mental picture of you like a lawn dart,
stuck head first in the sand, feet waving in the current. :))
--
Bob Crownfield, Crown...@Home.com
Photography, Flying, Delphi Rad Addict
Now diving the Pacific in the LA Area.
"Protect freedoms before they become extinct."
Chuck Tribolet
already on the bottom and I was in a hurry to catch up with them.
I whipped on my hood vest. Backwards. I ended up with my face
in the hood, no air, no light, no clue. For about a nanosecond,
I thought I might die of suffocation.
Then the logical part of my brain took over and said "You can
hold your breath for a couple of minutes. That means you
have 120 seconds to figure out what to do." Then it was
easy -- let some air, work the hood off, and the hard part --
getting the vest off by my self.
After dive beer tasted real good that day.
Lee Bell
> > >Did this but not with my mask.... I forgot my weights. Couldn't
> > >understand why I wasn't dropping and to top it off, it was on a dive
> > >that hub had with students.
There are two kinds of experienced divers. Those that admit to having
jumped into the water without their weight belt and liers.
> > How about doing a drift dive and trying to get down fast enough to not
> > miss a wreck and wind up near burying yourself in the sand at the
> > bottom because you are A. Overwieghted and B. not having your bouyancy
> > squared away...talk about embarrassing.
Been there, done that, only in a more embarassing way. Those that know me,
know that I started diving long before there were BCs. What most don't know
is that I continued diving that way until about 10 years ago, just after my
wife got certified. She, of course, had the full benefit of all the
technology of the time, not much different from what we have today. Because
I figured we'd be diving from charter boats which require BCs, I went out
and bought one. I mean, how hard can it be? The seas were up a bit and I
wanted to try out my new toy. I live on a lake, so had no reason to wait
for kinder seas. I jumped in to test the new BC.
Did I mention that I dive salt water almost exclusively? No? Well I do,
and, or course was weighted for salt water during the test. To say I sunk
like a rock is a bit of an understatement. No problem, I have a BC. I
grabbed the inflator and pushed, figuring that sooner or later, I'd stop
descending. Sure enough, I did. Of course by this time, I was so
overinflated that my rapid journey toward the surface commenced immediately.
I managed to dump the BC before hitting the surface. My wife, who would
have liked to have helped me out, couldn't. She's flooded her mask
laughing.
OK, now I had the idea. Turn head down, dump air and descend. Cool.
Another thing I didn't mention and, prior to the event, didn't realize, is
that my lake is treated for algae. This means that all the dead algae
settles to the bottom and, surprise of surprises, is exactly the same color
as the water below the thermocline. Somewhere around 30 feet later, I
discovered the bottom, face first. Nothing like burying your mask in the
ooze at the bottom of a lake to teach you humility.
I've learned to do better since.
> I get a mental picture of you like a lawn dart,
> stuck head first in the sand, feet waving in the current. :))
If I had owned my underwater camera at the time, you would not have to
imagine this, you would have been able to see the photo.
Even us diving dinasaurs sometimes learn from newer divers. It's hard, but
having my mask rubbed in it did the trick for me.
Lee
Chuck Tribolet
experienced diver and underwater photographer. He's had
pictures published in the National Geographic. He will
remain nameless.
He bought a new drysuit, and was planning a trip to water
even colder than Monterey, so he got extra heavy undies.
He booked the first trip on one of Monterey's dive boats on a day
when there was a stiff breeze blowing. Even though in
street clothes, he looks reasonably thin, in the new suit
and undies he looked like the Michelin man. He jumped in,
and was so underweighted that the wind started blowing him
away. The DM had to jump in with the current line to get
him back to the boat.
It's referred to round here as "the rescue of Mister Puffy".
NE333RO
>settles to the bottom and, surprise of surprises, is exactly the same color
>as the water below the thermocline. Somewhere around 30 feet later, I
>discovered the bottom, face first. Nothing like burying your mask in the
>ooze at the bottom of a lake to teach you humility.
I did about the same thing down in Venice my first time looking for sharks
teeth. On the way to the water I asked the gift store lady how deep the water
was (yea I know but I was young and stupid). She tells me 25 to 30 feet deep
and about a hundred yards offshore to the best spot, just look for the dive
flags.
So, big dumb and happy, I gear up, hop in the water, and swim out to the
area. On the way out I realize visibility is about six inches. Hell, no
problem. I'm going to be on the bottom digging under rocks anyway so it
shouldn't be a problem.
I dump the air out of my BC, do a jack knive, and head for the bottom. I
grab my depth guage, thinking how smart I am to just watch it on the way down
rather than swimming down like a blind man with my arm extended. I figure I
wont have to start that until at least twenty feet.
So here I am, holding my guages six inches in front of my face when I find
out the bottom is twelve feet deep. Had a pretty good head of steam built up
too. Damn that bottom was hard.
Rich Lesperance
Chuck Tribolet <tri...@garlic.com> wrote
>
> It's referred to round here as "the rescue of Mister Puffy".
>
SPLAT!
<drip, drip, drip>
Once a bunch of us were hanging around the shore (in a cold, cold place)
waiting to dive. One wag super-inflated his drysuit as a joke, and started
waddling aorund like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
Two other guys grabbed him & threw him into the water, where he discovered
he couldn't even get arms or legs to contact the water - he was just bobbing
around the surface, arms and legs flailing wildly....
Rich
OldSalt
since I have Supernews, it's amazing that I could even see it:
>How about doing a drift dive and trying to get down fast enough to not
>miss a wreck and wind up near burying yourself in the sand at the
>bottom because you are A. Overwieghted and B. not having your bouyancy
>squared away...talk about embarrassing.
Good one Mo !! LOL
OldSalt
wrote and since I have Supernews, it's amazing that I could even see
it:
>I get a mental picture of you like a lawn dart,
>stuck head first in the sand, feet waving in the current. :))
Wonder if Randy can ascii that one ? Hahahaha
BTW Bob.... is that what I think it is ? Two smiley faces ?
You never type those. You must be loosening up a bit. <g>
OldSalt
<tri...@garlic.com> wrote and since I have Supernews, it's amazing
that I could even see it:
>There are three kinds of divers:
>
>- Those who have very few dives.
>
>- Those who admit they have jumped in without their weights.
>
>- Those who lie about it.
Isn't that what they say about peeing in your wetsuit too ? LOL
Becca
You know the guys on your boat who *have* to be the first one in? It
seems to happen most often to those guys.
Once, a guy on our boat rolled off the side, then came right back up and
asked us to hand him his mask. He forgot he was wearing his glasses.
While on a small Zodiac, a guy forgot to put on his fins.
Okay, I'll confess... I forget to turn my computer on. Doh!
Becca
Ron Sallee
forgotten to take out the neck ring on my drysuit and had a friend go in
without zipping up his Unisuit...you know the ones that zip down the back
and up the crotch. Yikes, that's cold.
Ron
"Becca" <be...@hal-pc.org> wrote in message
news:39F3721F...@hal-pc.org...
OldSalt
since I have Supernews, it's amazing that I could even see it:
>You know the guys on your boat who *have* to be the first one in? It
>seems to happen most often to those guys.
Guilty as charged. I have to be one of those ppl.... and so does Deb
because she gets seasick. I don't get seasick. I just wanna get in
the water ! LOL
>Once, a guy on our boat rolled off the side, then came right back up and
>asked us to hand him his mask. He forgot he was wearing his glasses.
>While on a small Zodiac, a guy forgot to put on his fins.
>
>Okay, I'll confess... I forget to turn my computer on. Doh!
I've done that too. <g>
chilly
without my weight belt. I was quite embarrassed at the time but you
guys are making me feel better.
(No, Becca, this is not to be construed as encouragement to write me
any more poetry :^))
In article <427avssf5p9amgvr3...@4ax.com>,
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Santa's Elf
since I have Supernews, it's amazing that I could even see it:
>(No, Becca, this is not to be construed as encouragement to write me
>any more poetry :^))
<using my Frau voice from "Austin Powers" .... " Lies !! It's all
lies !!!" <g>
Roger Banks
>
> So here I am, holding my guages six inches in front of my face when I find
> out the bottom is twelve feet deep. Had a pretty good head of steam built up
> too. Damn that bottom was hard.
Once, way out in the big friggin' middle of lovely Lake Travis, I did a
back roll off our work boat and decided to enjoy the rare decent
visiblity by watching the silhouette of the boat as I descending to 60
ft. I forgot about the Sometimes Islands where I landed flat on my back
at about 15 ft.
--
================================================================
Roger Banks <ba...@arlut.utexas.edu> Austin, Texas
Master Diver http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~banks/scuba.html
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Roger Banks
>
> OldSalt wrote:
>
> > > >Did this but not with my mask.... I forgot my weights. Couldn't
> > > >understand why I wasn't dropping and to top it off, it was on a dive
> > > >that hub had with students.
>
> There are two kinds of experienced divers. Those that admit to having
> jumped into the water without their weight belt and liers.
>
My drysuit has a relief zipper. I will never forget to zip it. Again.
Becca
>
> My computer turns itself on. I have *almost* made it off the boat
> without my weight belt. I was quite embarrassed at the time but you
> guys are making me feel better.
>
> (No, Becca, this is not to be construed as encouragement to write me
> any more poetry :^))
My dive computer is now 5 years old. You have to turn it on above the
water, or within 6 feet of the surface. I'm too cheap to buy a new one,
so I've learned to remember. Now, if I could just remember where I park
my car in those huge parking lots...
Becca
chilly
away even if you remembered where you'd left it.
Becca <be...@hal-pc.org> wrote in message
news:39F637C1...@hal-pc.org...
> chilly wrote:
> >
> > My computer turns itself on. I have *almost* made it off the boat
> > without my weight belt. I was quite embarrassed at the time but you
> > guys are making me feel better.
> >
> > (No, Becca, this is not to be construed as encouragement to write me
> > any more poetry :^))
>
OldSalt
since I have Supernews, it's amazing that I could even see it:
>My dive computer is now 5 years old. You have to turn it on above the
>water, or within 6 feet of the surface. I'm too cheap to buy a new one,
>so I've learned to remember. Now, if I could just remember where I park
>my car in those huge parking lots...
My computer is an old Orca Marathon...about 10 yrs old.... and you
have to turn it on above the water too. Problem was, last dive on
the river, I turned it on but then didn't get into the water soon
because we were waiting for other divers to come back out so that our
belongings were not left unattended on the beach. If you remain out
of the water for a certain time after turning mine on, it will shut
itself back off. And it did. LOL
Re: losing your car.... as a teen, I once drove to big mall, went
in and shopped for a few hours and then came out.... no car. I got
on a payphone and called my Daddy, in tears crying, " Someone stole
my car !" He calmly said to me.... " Try to remember what things
you saw in the store when you went in.... did you go in by the
furniture entrance or by children's clothes or by ladies clothes ?"
I thought a second and realized my car was on the other side of the
building. I said...." Awwww thanks Dad. How did you know that ?"
He said.... " Years of experience. " And then he laughed and
said...."Besides, who would want to steal the piece of crap that you
drive anyway ?" ROFLMAOOOOO
OldSalt
and since I have Supernews, it's amazing that I could even see it:
>I thought you'd lost your keys so you wouldn't be able to drive your car
>away even if you remembered where you'd left it.
Ohhh no....you don't want to have Becca flame you anymore. Right.
John Appel
more negative than regular ones, I was told.
Was diving in just trunks, so only used 4 lbs. on a weight belt.
Dove in, went down, and 10 minutes later realized I had no weight belt on.
Was doing OK till I got down to about 1200 psi, then had to pick up two
rocks and put them in my pocket till after the safety stop.
John
"Chuck Tribolet" <tri...@garlic.com> wrote in message
news:8ss7qq$f...@fox.almaden.ibm.com...
> There are three kinds of divers:
>
> - Those who have very few dives.
>
> - Those who admit they have jumped in without their weights.
>
> - Those who lie about it.
>
> --
> Chuck Tribolet
> tri...@garlic.com
> http://www.almaden.ibm.com/cs/people/triblet
>
> Silicon Valley: Best day job in the world.
>
>
> "OldSalt" <Babet...@removethisHotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5tg2vs8lrkcfpoh5o...@4ax.com...
> > On Fri, 20 Oct 2000 10:39:55 -0700, "Scott"
> > <sco...@hctc.REMOVETHIScom> wrote and since I have Supernews, it's
> > amazing that I could even see it:
> >
> > >Jumping off the boat, BC fully deflated, headed for 80 foot bottom,
when I
> > >realized I had no mask on.
> >
> > Did this but not with my mask.... I forgot my weights. Couldn't
> > understand why I wasn't dropping and to top it off, it was on a dive
Lee Bell
> Was diving in San Salvador, Bahamas, using Compact 80 tanks, about 4 lbs.
> more negative than regular ones, I was told.
This is the first time I've ever heard of a commercial operator using
compact 80s. I'd like that operators name. BTW, you were told correctly,
there are about 4 lbs less buoyant than standard 80s, which explains why I
have 6 of them.
Lee