news:7b95c732-e909-4742...@hl5g2000vbb.googlegroups.com...
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Now THAT is mildly creative, inventive.
Why would you then fall for this kettlebell con????
In fact, lifting a sack of potatoes over yer head is a perty good idear.
MMA guys use these sandbags all the time.
Look, you gotta unnerstand how this whole kb thing came about.
It's all about good ole Merkin competition, dick size, and ignerints. It
dudn't matter whether shit is good, bad, legit, or bogus. As long as it's
DIFFERENT, as long as you can psyche out the witless Jones-es with it, and
even more importantly, as long as it has some fuknMystique/PASTICHE attached
to it -- in this case, this dumbassed Roosky Medievil pastiche.
Some dumb fuck -- Pavel in this case -- emigrates from goddamm Siberia, and
BANG, kbs are the new hot thing.
NOT because kbs have ANYTHING to do with Pavel's skill set, but only bec of
his genetics and the fact that Rooskies are among the toughest muthafuckas
in the world -- you'd be too, iffin you grew up in temps 80 deg BELOW ZERO.
So assholes like Friedes say, Oooh, Oooh, Mommy, Mommy, I wanna be like
Pavel, I wanna be like Pavel.....
Oh, didja read in this thread where g-d Friedes is STILL asking for Xmas
presents from his hapless Wife??? Didja read dat????? Holy shit......
So Mommy bought him a kettlebell, and we been listening to this fukn
bullshit ever since..... cuz Friedes is too self-obsessed and too ignerint
to understand the simple PHYSICS -- and basic physiology -- of weight
lifting.
You can find some long drawn-out """"explanations"""" of WHY kb's are
"better than dumbbells" on youtube. Really neat to watch, because if all's
you can do is resolve a vector into its perpendicular components, you can
understand that kb's and all that bullshit """"science"""" behind them is
just medievil smoke and mirrors, from fundamentally uneducated exercise
"gurus". Those """expanations""" -- and Friedes' """"ecplanations"""" --
are total incoherent gibberish.
A weight is a weight, and kb's happen to be a particularly UN-ergonomic
weight, which HINDERS usage. Assholes then misconstrue this "difficulty of
usage" and drama (taped hands, wrists, injuries, etc) with EFFECTIVENESS.
Figgers.....
Just assholes in dire need of some fukn badge of honor..... gimme a fukn
break ferchrissakes....
You'd be much better off taking a kb and just cutting off the handle, and
just hurling it like a cannonball or medicine ball. In fact, I actually DO
this with medicine balls, either by myself or with my buddy, when we go
running in a local park. Beyond ossum, yo, beyond ossum.
And, you could just as easily do this with a big rock.
So Friedes fellated Pavel 'til the cows came home, became RKC certified, and
has been publically masturbating himself ever since.
Merkins also have a thing fer fereigners and fereign accents.
Look at all the ilitirit Cockney Brits we have over here, hawking
infomercial bullshit. I had no idea about this, until le Wife, who lived in
Britain for a while, pointed out to me, You know, dear, dat muthafucka's
speech is the Bri'ish equivalent of a streetcorner Brooklyn hoodlum, dis
dat and de udder ting.... Holy shit.....
And then we have Pilates, Montessori, Nuryev, blah blah.
Iffin yer name is Jones, and you want to really fuck the Merkin Pubic, you
better change yer name and get an accent.
Unless you are blonde with long legs, skinny thighs, with enough space
between them that you could drive a Tonka Toy dump truck between them.
Suzanne Somers, Jane Fonda, and Tammi Lee, and, of course, Jillian Michaels
come to mind. Then you can really fuck Le Pubic.
Oh and Sally Fields, who has osteoporosis and hawks Boniva precisely bec
she's too dumb to do any REAL exerxise.
Tammi Lee admitted in an interview that Buns of Steel was total bullshit,
that she had buns of steel when she fell out of her mom. AND had to wear
flesh-colored stockings to hide her varicose veins, past a certain age. Go
figger......
So there you go, the History of Fitness in a nutshell.
Do yerself a favor.
Watch out for my apparatus, when it's ready, I'll announce it on this ng.
It's designed for people like you, in need of versatile rehab, as well as
ultra-intensity fitness regimens.
In the meantime, buy a db handle with spring clips, and 2.5# plates. Get a
chinup bar and start **hanging**, and do "chinups" off a chair. Get a
medicine ball, and start throwing dat muthafucka as high up in the air as
you can, in various ways. Do isometrics.
Don't be an fuknidiot with these dopey kettlebells.
--
EA