-I- [long] school nightmare
Angela
I don't even know where to begin.
Kindergarten. Garrett is a talkative kid. He is, to use the technical
term, "a chatterbox." He's not defiant, and he's not violent. He just
won't shut up. And it's not as though all he's doing is whispering and
giggling with his friends, either. He blurts out things like, "It looks
like a bunny!" during booktime.
Last year, on occasion, his kindergarten teacher removed him from groups and
sat him next to the assistant during work time. Garrett did better work
under her supervision and removed from the distraction the other children
provided. Furthermore, he didn't distract the other children. A win/win
situation. Once or twice he complained about loneliness, but he also
indicated that the assistant would talk to him and be nice to him sometimes.
This year, our first problem occurred when one day Garrett and another boy
made too much noise in the hallway after recess. They were in line for
water at the time. The teacher's assistant made them return to the
classroom without water, notwithstanding that they'd been out for recess in
94 F (34.4 C) weather. The other little boy had misbehaved earlier in the
day and so had been running laps. Garrett, thirsty himself, said the other
little boy had whimpered, "I'm thirsty" for the rest of the day.
I wrote a note. The teacher didn't respond, but Garrett was allowed water
thereafter.
The astute might have picked up another point of concern for me. Yes, the
other little boy had been running laps. The teacher's written policy is
that students who misbehave once receive a yellow warning light. Students
who misbehave twice run laps. Her actual policy has proven to be that
students who misbehave once run two laps, students who misbehave twice run
four. If they misbehave further or talk during laps, they are assigned
additional. And if the entire class decorum doesn't suit her, they all run.
I don't like this policy. The CDC (centers for disease control) recommend
against assigning laps as punishment. And although this lady has a very
heavy hand with the laps, I was prepared to reduce the urgency of my
complaints about the policy overall provided I could get them not to assign
laps on dangerously hot days. The whole class ran one day under an ozone
code orange--on which even healthy and active children should limit
prolonged outdoor exertion. I got my pediatrician involved, got the
statement of the American Academy of Pediatrics and pulled in a few
miscellaneous facts from other agencies to present to the teacher and the
principal. I was able to insist that Garrett not run laps on excessively
warm days. The assignment of laps at all is an ongoing discussion with the
principal, who seems to agree with me and is working with the school. (More
detail on that available on request.)
Point #3: although the teacher tells me Garrett is not an abnormal child, he
has been seated by himself (and is the only child so seated) for over a
week. We do not know how much over a week. We found out about this when we
went in to talk to the teacher about the laps on hot days thing. We agreed
that Garrett could be temporarily repositioned. It was our understanding
that she would initiate a behavioral contract and then restore him to his
place among the group. She initiated a behavioral contract on Wednesday of
last week but did not restore him to his place among the group. We wrote on
Thursday. "Thanks for the behavioral contract! Say, let's get him back
with his group." We got crickets. We sent an e-mail Friday. "When is he
going to be back with his group?"
She wrote me an e-mail this morning that said, more or less, "He's not
ready." She didn't set out a policy or a plan. she just said no.
I called the principal. I've been talking to educators and administrators,
school counselors and even a child psychologist who all agree this kind of
ostracizing has detrimental effects on a child's long-term ego -and-
behavior. She's sending him a message that he is not good; she is sending
it to the other children, as well, and they will carry it on to future
grades. The principal seemed to agree with me that it was a bad idea. She
said she would make an appointment with the teacher to discuss the situation
this afternoon.
An hour or so ago, I got a call from the teacher. Mind you, she had ignored
our requests for contact previously--even when we supplied her with a cell
number. She said she was calling to tell me that Garrett was talking way
too much today. I said, "I should tell you that I've spoken to the
principal." She said, in essence, "So it was you." She became very
defensive, very high-handed and quite antagonistic. She said
notwithstanding her earlier assurance that Garrett's behavior is not
abnormal that Garrett is too disruptive to sit with other students, whom he
will disturb. I said if he's disruptive, I would be happy to come in and
observe him. She said that in her experience children don't behave badly
when their parents are present. I said that at least he wouldn't then be
disturbing the other children. She said it wasn't practical for me to stay
in her classroom. I said if that was the case and he was too disruptive for
her classroom that perhaps he should be moved to another class. She said
that wasn't going to happen and that she had never said he was disruptive.
She said then that she's been an educator for over 20 years and is doing the
best for him. I told him that I didn't think being ostracized was the best
thing for him. She said, "Ostracized..... How is he being ostracized?"
He's sitting by himself. He was--until TODAY--the only child sitting by
himself (can you say "Cover Your Own Ass"?). The other children have been
teasing him. He's having nightmares. None of us are getting any sleep.
And he's not going back to her class.
I hope the principal can move him.
If not, I hope I can get him into a different school.
Because if I homeschool him, then it will be up to the principal what level
he is placed in when he returns.
This stuff is making me literally sick. I know Garrett talks too much. I
get tired of hearing him, too. But we have offered repeatedly to help her
control him. We have been excluded and ignored, and now that we have felt
forced to seek higher authority, I sincerely fear that she will retaliate
against him.
If you're reading this, Michelle, I could use any resources you have to
offer. Please. :(
Angela
amoli...@visi-dot-com.com
Angela <ang...@CUTITOUTrmta.org> wrote:
>I am, in spite of my unsuitable temperament, considering homeschooling.
>
>I don't even know where to begin.
>Kindergarten. Garrett is a talkative kid. He is, to use the technical
>term, "a chatterbox." He's not defiant, and he's not violent. He just
Petition loudly to have Garrett in another class. ANY other class.
Another school, anything.
Garrett seems to be clearly a problem kid, albeit a minor problem.
Teachers go to school for years precisely to learn how to deal
with problem kids. Well, there's a bit of this and that on how to
hammer knowledge into small brains, but that's not exactl rocket
science.
This teacher:
a) hasn't got the skills to deal with this particular (minor)
problem.
b) has by now conceived this as a battle with the child and the
child's family, and is dug in deep. There's no budging her.
The all-important relationships between teacher and child, and
teacher and parents, are destroyed. Blame will be cast willy nilly
and at everyone -- it doesn't matter. The essential fact is that
the classroom Garrett is in Does Not Work, and Will Not Work.
The option is to tough it out for a nasty year, and hope next
year is better. Kids do bounce back when they get a teacher who
can deal with them, and who give them a good year.
ai...@rmta.org
[snip]
> An hour or so ago, I got a call from the teacher. Mind you, she had ignored
> our requests for contact previously--even when we supplied her with a cell
> number.
sounds like one of *those people* who will look you right in the eye and
still not hear a word you say. they suck. my niece danielle had a shitty
first grade teacher, too, who clearly disliked kids and who even bruised
dani's arm once.
the laps thing really gets me--why physical punishment? and in hot
weather? it sounds like this teacher has some major control issues. i
hope you can get garrett into another classroom, which would be the least
disruption for him and you.
Aimee the Magdalene
# new around here? get the newbie pack #
# before i have to tell you to fuck off #
# send mail to new...@rmta.org #
# all will be revealed #
Michelle J. Haines
ang...@CUTITOUTrmta.org says...
> I am, in spite of my unsuitable temperament, considering homeschooling.
If you need help, let me know. I don't have the time/energy to
comment on everything else until later.
Yesterday morning, Gareth unexpectedly had a seizure and quit
breathing, and his treatment at the ER was medically inappropriate,
causing further problems at home although not any actual damage.
We're following up with a neurologist ASAP, but right now I'm tired
and stressed and trying to at least get Katrina's dance classes done
today and I don't have time for any more explanations.
Other than, "Michelle, get up, Gareth's unconscious and not
breathing!" is NOT on my top ten ways to wake up in the morning.
Michelle
Flutist
--
In my heart. By my side.
Never apart. AP with Pride!
Katrina Marie (10/19/96)
Xander Ryan (09/22/98 - 02/23/99)
Gareth Xander (07/17/00) Zachary Mitchell
Theona Alexis (06/03/03) (01/12/94, fostered 09/05/01 - 07/23/03)
Angela
"Michelle J. Haines" <mha...@io.nanc.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.19c694e03...@news.Qwest.net...
> In article <bjilal$1d6p$1...@concertina.rmta.org>,
> ang...@CUTITOUTrmta.org says...
> > I am, in spite of my unsuitable temperament, considering homeschooling.
>
> If you need help, let me know. I don't have the time/energy to
> comment on everything else until later.
>
> Yesterday morning, Gareth unexpectedly had a seizure and quit
> breathing, and his treatment at the ER was medically inappropriate,
> causing further problems at home although not any actual damage.
> We're following up with a neurologist ASAP, but right now I'm tired
> and stressed and trying to at least get Katrina's dance classes done
> today and I don't have time for any more explanations.
>
> Other than, "Michelle, get up, Gareth's unconscious and not
> breathing!" is NOT on my top ten ways to wake up in the morning.
Good Heavens! Please keep us posted!
{{{{{{{Haines}}}}}}}
Angela
Angela
<amoli...@visi-dot-com.com> wrote in message
news:3f5cdc93$0$149$a186...@newsreader.visi.com...
<snip>
> The all-important relationships between teacher and child, and
> teacher and parents, are destroyed. Blame will be cast willy nilly
> and at everyone -- it doesn't matter. The essential fact is that
> the classroom Garrett is in Does Not Work, and Will Not Work.
Impressive phrasing. I'm using it! Thanks.
> The option is to tough it out for a nasty year, and hope next
> year is better. Kids do bounce back when they get a teacher who
> can deal with them, and who give them a good year.
I wish this teacher would just hang herself already. After calling me
today, this afternoon she put another student at Garrett's table. She
chose, according to Garrett, the best-behaved child in the room. Good idea!
Partnering him with a well-behaved child might be very effective. Why
couldn't she choose this before it came to blows? And can I trust her to
give him a fair shake now that she has?
He tells me that he got a red light today because a child who has bullied
him before (and about whom we've complained) threw his materials in the
trash. He reported this to the teacher, and she told him to move his light
to red. His teacher reported this to me as "playing with a friend." Kids
do lie about why they're in trouble. Under other circumstances, I'd take
his report with a grain of salt. But how can I believe her when I think she
means him ill?
Even if he remains with her, I'm not likely to trust her again. Great
situation. :P
Angela
Angela
<ai...@rmta.org> wrote in message news:bjim6r$1dpf$1...@concertina.rmta.org...
> Angela <ang...@cutitoutrmta.org> wrote:
> [snip]
> > An hour or so ago, I got a call from the teacher. Mind you, she had
ignored
> > our requests for contact previously--even when we supplied her with a
cell
> > number.
>
> sounds like one of *those people* who will look you right in the eye and
> still not hear a word you say. they suck. my niece danielle had a shitty
> first grade teacher, too, who clearly disliked kids and who even bruised
> dani's arm once.
>
> the laps thing really gets me--why physical punishment? and in hot
> weather? it sounds like this teacher has some major control issues. i
> hope you can get garrett into another classroom, which would be the least
> disruption for him and you.
I hope so, too. Given her 11th hour capitulation, I might not be able to.
But I'm using Amolitor's line of reasoning on the principal tomorrow.
I suppose I'm lucky our school system doesn't use corporal punishment. Some
of the stories I've been reading about that lately are really disturbing.
Angela, who doesn't spank
ai...@rmta.org
[snip]
> He tells me that he got a red light today because a child who has bullied
> him before (and about whom we've complained) threw his materials in the
> trash. He reported this to the teacher, and she told him to move his light
> to red.
what is this light thing? is there a literal indicator, like on his desk,
or is it just a term they use? i'm guessing it's the latter, but the way
you describe it seems like it could go either way.
Aimee the Magdalene
////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
/ Age is just a number. Yeah, but that's just because \
/ Responsibility actually responsibility can afford to \
/ has some weight behind it. buy the donuts with filling. \
/ - Beth - Dances \
////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Angela
<ai...@rmta.org> wrote in message news:bjjk5t$1uf0$1...@concertina.rmta.org...
> Angela <ang...@cutitoutrmta.org> wrote:
> [snip]
> > He tells me that he got a red light today because a child who has
bullied
> > him before (and about whom we've complained) threw his materials in the
> > trash. He reported this to the teacher, and she told him to move his
light
> > to red.
>
> what is this light thing? is there a literal indicator, like on his desk,
> or is it just a term they use? i'm guessing it's the latter, but the way
> you describe it seems like it could go either way.
There are stop lights on the wall with each child's name on them. When a
child starts the day, his or her light is on green. In other words, they're
literal.
I found out that the principal is the one behind the creation of the up and
coming ladybug system. She wants children who lose spots from the bug to be
able to regain them for good behavior. We already know that Garrett's
teacher doesn't approve of this. But as the principal said on the phone to
me yesterday, "If I was six and hit red at 8:00 a.m., I'd be a butt the
whole rest of the day."
Angela
fastrada
"Michelle J. Haines" wrote:
>
> Yesterday morning, Gareth unexpectedly had a seizure and quit
> breathing
jesus. i'm really sorry, michelle. please let us know how he's doing,
when you get a chance and feel up to it. ((hugs))
fastrada
--
thank you, awesome caffeine, for giving my meager life meaning. i can
now endure an otherwise banal and meaningless existence. -- too much
coffee man.
Michelle J. Haines
says...
>
> jesus. i'm really sorry, michelle. please let us know how he's doing,
> when you get a chance and feel up to it. ((hugs))
Yeah. Here's the deal.
Basically, Gareth got up, in his usual, "I'm pissed off and not going
to take it any more." morning attitude. He's not really a morning
person. Kirk picked him up and carried him into the kitchen to get
him a drink of water. Suddenly, Gareth wailed flipped backwards from
the waist, extending his spine all the way down. His muscles went
ridged for several seconds. When Kirk was able to bring him back
up, Gareth's eyes rolled back into his head, he passed out, and quit
breathing, at which point Kirk brought him into the bedroom and woke
me up. He started breathing a couple seconds later, but was severely
altered and still very blue.
We called 911, and Kirk spoke to the dispatcher briefly, then
remember that Kit West across the street is one of the Chugwater
paramedics, so we went over and beat on his door, but he wasn't home,
so we call 911 again. They sent both one of the local Chugwater
ambulances (although the one furthest out of town, since the two in-
town guys were in Colorado for a medical conference) and one from
Wheatland.
By the time the Chugwater ambulance was here, Gareth looked pretty
normal, but was lethargic and lying on the floor. We waited for the
Wheatland ambulance and went trucking on to Wheatland. His O2 stats
were very low, 73 without oxygen, and 86 even with 15 liters of O2 by
mask.
He was pretty chipper by the time we got there, and was satting well.
The doctor wanted to do a CT scan to rule out a brain-bleed. He
said, "Since he's too young to hold still for it, we'll give him a
dose of Klonopin, and he'll be asleep in 15-20 minutes, and then
we'll do the scan."
Well, OK. Except, a half an hour later you can even tell they gave
him anything. So they gave him another one. And a half an hour
after that, two more. And a half an hour after that, a fifth one.
The child's staggering around, slurring his words, incapable of
walking, and peeing on himself, but asleep he is not. They did the
CT anyway, and some of the pictures were blurry, but it did pretty
much rule out a brain bleed. His blood work was clear, as well.
Because Kirk had an almost identical seizure at nearly the same age,
the ER doc decided to go ahead and give him a dose of Phenobarb
before we left the ER, just in case.
FINALLY, on the ride home, Gareth went to sleep. He slept a total of
two hours and then spent the next eight hours throwing temper-tantrum
after temper-tantrum out of mental confusion and the fact that he
couldn't walk. I had to resort to giving in and nursing him to get
him to calm down, and that was only partly effective.
We saw the doctor on Monday, who agreed that Klonopin was a poor
choice of medications for that purpose -- he would have used Versed.
Also, we need to make an appointment with the neurologist in Casper
to get an EEG before we medicate him for a potential seizure
disorder. Kirk had a total of two seizures like this, but continued
to have febrile seizures afterwards, so was medicated for nine years.
Gareth is finally back to his normal self, and slept for 12 hours
last night. However, he's tossed his potty training out the window,
which I'm not really happy about.
Oh, Theona just laughed for the first time five minutes ago. There's
some good news.
Michelle J. Haines
ang...@CUTITOUTrmta.org says...
OK, I've finally gotten the chance to read all this, and I have to
say, HOLY COW!
> I am, in spite of my unsuitable temperament, considering homeschooling.
First off, from my observations (admittedly, very distant ones) prior
to you putting him in to school, you are not unsuited to
homeschooling at all. In fact, you have a very unschooling-suited
temperament, which I do not have at all.
> This year, our first problem occurred when one day Garrett and another boy
> made too much noise in the hallway after recess. They were in line for
> water at the time. The teacher's assistant made them return to the
> classroom without water, notwithstanding that they'd been out for recess in
> 94 F (34.4 C) weather. The other little boy had misbehaved earlier in the
> day and so had been running laps. Garrett, thirsty himself, said the other
> little boy had whimpered, "I'm thirsty" for the rest of the day.
>
> I wrote a note. The teacher didn't respond, but Garrett was allowed water
> thereafter.
This is frightening, and downright physically abusive. And I not
only would be talking to the principal, I'd be looking into way to
get the teacher fired.
> And he's not going back to her class.
> I hope the principal can move him.
> If not, I hope I can get him into a different school.
Your relationship with the teacher is too adversarial for any good to
come of him being there. The fact that you're "hoping" the principal
can move him isn't boding well for that relationship, either. :(
> Because if I homeschool him, then it will be up to the principal what level
> he is placed in when he returns.
Most places to a skills-test placement when kids go back in, but I
think that's the least of the worries at the moment.
> This stuff is making me literally sick. I know Garrett talks too much. I
> get tired of hearing him, too. But we have offered repeatedly to help her
> control him. We have been excluded and ignored, and now that we have felt
> forced to seek higher authority, I sincerely fear that she will retaliate
> against him.
Unfortunately, there are too many stories on the home-ed list of
people having these kinds of problems, and the problems continuing up
the administration line. My instinct would be to just get him out,
and maybe revisit the school situation in a couple years.
> If you're reading this, Michelle, I could use any resources you have to
> offer. Please. :(
You're in North Carolina, correct?
I'm looking up your homeschooling laws right now.
North Carolina requires standardized testing as well as notification,
although you don't have specific subject requirements for teaching,
your testing must cover English grammar, reading, spelling, and
mathematics. A CAT-E test covers all that, and is an easy test to
administer.
I don't recommend to become a member of HSLDA, as they have too many
other social agenda projects on their plate (I'm not one, either) but
they are handy for quick information:
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp?State=NC
Also, you should sign on to the home-ed list and discuss your
temperament, and what kind of schooling might suit you and Garrett
best. If you come around to such a decision, I can give you
resources for various curriculum that we use, and most of it you
would probably find fairly religiously compatible, although many of
the home-ed list people are not religious at all, so they can also
help. Although, they are also very unschooling oriented, which I am
not.
Homeschooling groups are often a very good way to get a child's
social needs met without all this segregation and "we aren't here to
socialize" nonsense.
Angela
<snip>
> Basically, Gareth got up, in his usual, "I'm pissed off and not going
> to take it any more." morning attitude. He's not really a morning
> person. Kirk picked him up and carried him into the kitchen to get
> him a drink of water. Suddenly, Gareth wailed flipped backwards from
> the waist, extending his spine all the way down. His muscles went
> ridged for several seconds. When Kirk was able to bring him back
> up, Gareth's eyes rolled back into his head, he passed out, and quit
> breathing, at which point Kirk brought him into the bedroom and woke
> me up. He started breathing a couple seconds later, but was severely
> altered and still very blue.
> By the time the Chugwater ambulance was here, Gareth looked pretty
> normal, but was lethargic and lying on the floor. We waited for the
> Wheatland ambulance and went trucking on to Wheatland. His O2 stats
> were very low, 73 without oxygen, and 86 even with 15 liters of O2 by
> mask.
It sounds almost like a tonic-clonic seizure, except for the lack of
thrashing. My knowledge of epilepsy is small, though, related to
familiarity with it in a childhood friend. I hope it's a one-off thing.
The stopping breathing thing has always seemed very scary to me. :(
Please let us know what they find out and what, if anything, you do.
<snip>
> Oh, Theona just laughed for the first time five minutes ago. There's
> some good news.
Ah, baby laughs. :)
Angela
Angela
> In article <bjilal$1d6p$1...@concertina.rmta.org>,
> ang...@CUTITOUTrmta.org says...
>
> OK, I've finally gotten the chance to read all this, and I have to
> say, HOLY COW!
It's been really rough.
>
> > I am, in spite of my unsuitable temperament, considering homeschooling.
>
> First off, from my observations (admittedly, very distant ones) prior
> to you putting him in to school, you are not unsuited to
> homeschooling at all.
I'm afraid I don't have the patience. Even when I tried to do puzzles with
him when he was little, I had to stomp hard on the part of me that wanted to
say, "Why don't you get it?" It would be easier now, I think, than it would
have been a year ago. I think I do better building on a foundation than I
do laying the foundation. He can already read & write, so I'd stand a
chance. But, whew, I think you homeschooling moms must have the patience of
saints.
<snip>
> This is frightening, and downright physically abusive. And I not
> only would be talking to the principal, I'd be looking into way to
> get the teacher fired.
Thing is, that was the teacher's -assistant- who made that call. And it was
probably stupidity rather than cruelty. 10-1 she wasn't thinking of the
water deprivation. She was just thinking, "Violating quiet zone--out of the
hall."
<snip>
> Your relationship with the teacher is too adversarial for any good to
> come of him being there. The fact that you're "hoping" the principal
> can move him isn't boding well for that relationship, either. :(
Part of it is a self-confidence issue. I wasn't expecting the principal to
be at all receptive. I was very relieved to find that she was. But from
what I hear, getting classrooms changed is like pulling teeth. I've been
told that about the only way I can guarantee it will happen is to threaten
to go to the superintendent--or to actually do so--and I figure by the time
I've alienated the teacher & the principal, I've pretty much ruined that
school for us. :/
<snip retaliation fears>
> Unfortunately, there are too many stories on the home-ed list of
> people having these kinds of problems, and the problems continuing up
> the administration line. My instinct would be to just get him out,
> and maybe revisit the school situation in a couple years.
(sigh)
That may be pending. One good day doesn't mean the problem is fixed, though
at this point any good day is such a relief I'm inclined to feel like it is.
What I'd really like to do is put him in the nearby Montesorri program, but
the annual tuition is (ready?) $10k. For first grade. It goes up in
subsequent years.
I could practically put him in the state college for that.
> > If you're reading this, Michelle, I could use any resources you have to
> > offer. Please. :(
>
> You're in North Carolina, correct?
>
> I'm looking up your homeschooling laws right now.
>
> North Carolina requires standardized testing as well as notification,
> although you don't have specific subject requirements for teaching,
> your testing must cover English grammar, reading, spelling, and
> mathematics. A CAT-E test covers all that, and is an easy test to
> administer.
>
> I don't recommend to become a member of HSLDA, as they have too many
> other social agenda projects on their plate (I'm not one, either) but
> they are handy for quick information:
> http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp?State=NC
Oh, thanks for that warning.
<snip>
> Also, you should sign on to the home-ed list and discuss your
> temperament, and what kind of schooling might suit you and Garrett
> best. If you come around to such a decision, I can give you
> resources for various curriculum that we use, and most of it you
> would probably find fairly religiously compatible, although many of
> the home-ed list people are not religious at all, so they can also
> help. Although, they are also very unschooling oriented, which I am
> not.
>
> Homeschooling groups are often a very good way to get a child's
> social needs met without all this segregation and "we aren't here to
> socialize" nonsense.
Because, actually, that's the main reason he is there. Garrett is soooo
social. Homeschooling groups would be essential.
Anyway, if you don't mind, if it comes to that I may be contacting you to
find out what books and resources you've collected. Designing a curriculum
for small fry just seems very daunting to me.
I've never heard the term "unschooling" before. I think you're right; I am
pretty unschooling oriented. :O That's definitely something for me to look
into. Even if I decided to try the unschooling techniques, I think I'd have
to violate it by some kind of curriculum, or Steve might well jump country
with our kid.
Angela
Angela
"Angela" <ang...@CUTITOUTrmta.org> wrote in message
news:bjilal$1d6p$1...@concertina.rmta.org...
> I am, in spite of my unsuitable temperament, considering homeschooling.
<snip>
I'm not quite there yet. .
Here's what's happened:
I got everything I wanted.
Well, almost everything. :) I decided not to insist that he be moved from
the class. Instead, I told the principal my concerns. The principal says
that she has never encountered a teacher who retaliated against a student
for a conflict with the parent but that if I had any further problems I
should please let her know. Right now, I feel like I have an advocate with
authority.
1) Against her will, the teacher has ended Garrett's isolation. He's with
another child. Any future time outs will be of limited duration, and we
will know from the beginning what the duration will be.
2) The teacher is communicating with me. Again, I think this is against her
will. Everything of importance between us will be in writing from now on.
She called me today in response to the note I wrote last night (setting out
where we stand and what I wanted) to acknowledge receipt of the note. There
was no detectable belligerence. She has apparently decided to try to get
along.
3) The running laps policy has ended. Yes, ended. The new discipline: 5
minutes of time-out at recess. The children are taken to the track and told
they may run, walk, sit, stand or whatever. This satisfies state law that
requires children not be refused exercise without demanding it. It also
eliminates power struggles. Meanwhile, the principal is working on
installing a discipline policy that is more rewards-based and less punitive.
On an unrelated note, they even divided the bus route--as I
requested--because it was overcrowded. :O Granted, I'm unlikely to be the
only mom to request that. But I did request it, and it happened. :O
Garrett is walking on air these days. I think learning that his mom & dad
will be his advocates has been a real eye-opener for him. I've been careful
not to create antagonism between him and his teacher, but he's an astute
kid. He said to me today, "You're the best mom in the world." (This is not
something Garrett traditionally says, so when he said it for the first time
this week, I took notice.) "Why?" "For giving me courage."
I have a feeling that my opinions will have more weight now, and I feel
comfortable enough leaving him where he is as long as I know I have an
option.
Whew.
Angela
natasha
wrote:
>Update:
[snip]
>I have a feeling that my opinions will have more weight now, and I feel
>comfortable enough leaving him where he is as long as I know I have an
>option.
>
>Whew.
<go angela!>
natasha
.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^
natasha can be gentle. she's been practicing!
- heard on sesame street
^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.
natasha
<mha...@io.nanc.com> wrote:
[snip]
>Gareth is finally back to his normal self, and slept for 12 hours
>last night. However, he's tossed his potty training out the window,
>which I'm not really happy about.
>
>Oh, Theona just laughed for the first time five minutes ago. There's
>some good news.
i'm glad things are looking up. what a frightening experience. :o
natasha, proud to be an rmta-mommy =)
Heather Jones
: (sigh)
: That may be pending. One good day doesn't mean the problem is fixed, though
: at this point any good day is such a relief I'm inclined to feel like it is.
: What I'd really like to do is put him in the nearby Montesorri program, but
: the annual tuition is (ready?) $10k. For first grade. It goes up in
: subsequent years.
:
: I could practically put him in the state college for that.
Practically? Tuition at a state college is LOADS less than that.
Tuition-wise, you might pay that for an entire undergrad degree. Room
and board is extra, though. ;-)
--heather
--
Heather Jones heather_jones(at)pobox(dot)com
http://www.haphazard.org http://www.savorysecrets.com
Michelle J. Haines
ang...@CUTITOUTrmta.org says...
>
> I'm afraid I don't have the patience. Even when I tried to do puzzles with
> him when he was little, I had to stomp hard on the part of me that wanted to
> say, "Why don't you get it?" It would be easier now, I think, than it would
> have been a year ago. I think I do better building on a foundation than I
> do laying the foundation. He can already read & write, so I'd stand a
> chance. But, whew, I think you homeschooling moms must have the patience of
> saints.
My children would laugh themselves into a hemorrhage over that. Me =
not patient. But I've gotten batter.
> Thing is, that was the teacher's -assistant- who made that call. And it was
> probably stupidity rather than cruelty. 10-1 she wasn't thinking of the
> water deprivation. She was just thinking, "Violating quiet zone--out of the
> hall."
*shakes head* Still, bad idea.
> Part of it is a self-confidence issue. I wasn't expecting the principal to
> be at all receptive. I was very relieved to find that she was. But from
> what I hear, getting classrooms changed is like pulling teeth. I've been
> told that about the only way I can guarantee it will happen is to threaten
> to go to the superintendent--or to actually do so--and I figure by the time
> I've alienated the teacher & the principal, I've pretty much ruined that
> school for us. :/
Having already left the school system behind, it's easy for me to
have the instinct so say, "RUN, don't walk, away from that school!"
It's not so easy if you haven't already made that decision.
> That may be pending. One good day doesn't mean the problem is fixed, though
> at this point any good day is such a relief I'm inclined to feel like it is.
> What I'd really like to do is put him in the nearby Montesorri program, but
> the annual tuition is (ready?) $10k. For first grade. It goes up in
> subsequent years.
ACK!!
> > I don't recommend to become a member of HSLDA, as they have too many
> > other social agenda projects on their plate (I'm not one, either) but
> > they are handy for quick information:
> > http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp?State=NC
>
> Oh, thanks for that warning.
www.hslda.ca for negative info on HSLDA. In particular, there's a
Salon article called "Battling for the Hearts and Minds of
Homeschoolers" you should read, as well.
Do I think it's helpful to have a legal organization to help
homeschoolers? Yes. Do I think it should be HSLDA? No.
> Because, actually, that's the main reason he is there. Garrett is soooo
> social. Homeschooling groups would be essential.
> Anyway, if you don't mind, if it comes to that I may be contacting you to
> find out what books and resources you've collected. Designing a curriculum
> for small fry just seems very daunting to me.
You don't have to construct from the ground up. Lots of good stuff
out there.
I tend to look for things that are literature heavy -- as in books to
ready, not reading out of textbooks -- or manipulative/hands-on
heavy. Our seven required subject are reading, writing, literature,
math, science, history, and civics.
We use Learning Language Arts Through Literature for
reading/writing/literature. I really enjoy the format, and there are
a lot of hands-on type activities. They are a Christian publication,
but I haven't found the Christianity in them to be over-the-top. In
the first book, it's a few Bible verses and a picture of children
praying before a meal. In the second book, it's a few more Bible
studies. In the third book, we have a few more religiously oriented
stories as well as Bible verses. But I find it balances well and is
just right for me.
We use Saxon math. Saxon can get a lot of criticism, because it's
very repetitive, but considering Katrina often likes to rush through
things, I don't think that's necessarily bad, and Zachary needed the
repetition to just get things. I modify the program, too, depending
on how much work she really needs to do on any specific thing.
Great Science Adventures is published by the same people who publish
LLATL (Common Sense Press). Lots and lots of hands-on experiments
that you can easily do at home. There are a total of 16 books
planned, each on a separate topic. We're doing "The World of Space"
right now. While this doesn't really apply to you, I also like it
because it's a multi-level curriculum. It's set up so you can teach
the same lesson to all your kids from K-8 at the same time, having
them do a different level of complexity for the work.
For history, we use CROSSROADS American history, which is a free, on-
line curriculum. It incorporates a TON of children's literature
books (which you do have to buy yourself; I get them on half.com
mostly) and I find the reading and then discussion and/or art project
to be a fun way to learn history at this age.
For civics, we use Lifesaver Lessons - Social Studies, which is a
quick worksheet type book intended for classroom use. But I have
plans to use more in-depth resources later. Right now we're just
introducing the topic.
Other, non-required subjects:
Geography - National Geography Map Essentials (this one's kind of
expensive); later we'll probably also add Mapping the World by Heart.
Spanish - Muzzy and Power-Glide
World History - various workbooks on a specific country. I have a
long list of books I want to get, when I'm independently wealthy and
all that.
Religion and theology - we try to read a Bible study each day and
discuss it, following the format in my Catholic Serendipity Study
Bible, but reading them in her Children's NIV. We also use the Image
of God series, but that's Catholic so you don't need to worry about
it. :)
Art - Artistic Pursuits; an art format that also teaches art history
She does piano and dance lessons separately, and Brownies.
I have a TON more resources for later, but I won't overwhelm you with
those.
> I've never heard the term "unschooling" before. I think you're right; I am
> pretty unschooling oriented. :O That's definitely something for me to look
> into. Even if I decided to try the unschooling techniques, I think I'd have
> to violate it by some kind of curriculum, or Steve might well jump country
> with our kid.
Well, here's what we do. At this age, reading/writing and math
skills are very essential -- everything else is more secondary and
it's mostly a matter of introducing the basic concepts, because
you're going to learn it again later anyway. So, we do reading and
math every day. Other than that, we pick a topic or two that we want
to work on and work on it straight through. Say, for instance, we
just got a new science book and geography book. We'd work on those
every day until they were done, then go on a history, or civics. Or
sometimes we mix it up, we feel like doing civics and religion today.
In that, is suppose I'm a little unschooling. :)
I take it you did some research on the word? I remember your
discussions early about "Garrett's interested in anatomy, here's the
books we bought to talk about it." Very unschooling. :) And some
are more or less unschoolers than other, of course. Some insist on
some basic schooling, like reading and math, others don't. Some set
some goals, others let the kids set the goals themselves. You and
Steve could work it out.