New Ministry
Objective Reality
> Well, I'm pretty sure thats not what he meant... Because anyone who
> has so much time to write so many sentences about someone he obviously
> cares very little about has gotta have alot of time on his hands... Or
> have some strange vendetta against him.
Vendetta? He's a no-talent, faux-intellectual, pompous-ass wannabe-rockstar asshole
bastard prick, and everything he ever says, thinks or does completely fucking sucks
- why shouldn't I hate his guts? Why don't you? What, are you his pal? If so,
well, fuck you also. If not, well, next time they're on tour, try to strike up a
conversation with the dick, and see how you feel about him then.
> What'd Paul do to ya anyway, rape you in the asshole after a concert?
What do you want, a detailed recounting of every time I've ever spoken to the son of
a bitch? Paul Barker is an oily, worm-ridden pile of shit, and everyone with any
objective merit who's ever met the "man" feels the exact same way. If he was on
fire, 99.9999999999999999% of everyone he's ever spoken to wouldn't so much as piss
on him to help put it out. He's scum.
> Cause it sure as hell seems like you've got SOMETHING stuck up there.
Sodomy fixation, Silt?
> Oh yeah, and that old "Look at me I'm really smart, and you must be a
> <insert lame insult> to disagree with me" stuff just makes you look
> like a complete jerk off. Trust me on this one.
I stand awestruck before the Atlantean majesty of your piercing analysis, Silt. I
don't care what you think about me, nor have I given a damn about anything
"industrial" since Goettel died. I will, however, take the opportunity afforded me
by the complete disintegration of his career, to debase and denigrate one of the
most loathesome human beings I've ever had the displeasure to encounter - because,
believe me, I have experienced this joke's ego, and I know he is reading, and
seething over, every word I write... aren't you, Paul? Yeah, of course you are,
cunt.
Objective Reality
cliche goes, it's funny because it's true.
I'm afraid I just can't take Paul Benavides at his word on this, though.
Just far too unbelievable. Maybe he was X-ing that night, and imagined a
kind of deluded pseudoreality in which Paul Barker was anything other than a
total son of a bitch... or maybe Benavides exists in a parallel universe,
one in which Paul Barker DOESN'T deserve to choke - and by some strange
cosmic quirk, he's able to post to our usenet.
More likely, however, would be that Paul Barker was so stupefied at having
met a single person who could still be considered a "fan" while on the Filth
Pig tour, that he briefly set aside his generally wretched excuse for a
personality and pretended not to consider Benavides totally beneath contempt.
I hate to shatter your illusion, M. Benavides, but Paul Barker hated you on
sight. You ain't shit to him, nor will you ever be. He laughed about and
mocked you to his "friends" for hours after your meeting. Yes, he did.
wEas3L wrote:
> "you all" is just "Objective Reality." And while his posts make me laugh
> out loud, I suspect he is a troll. It sure is funny though.
>
> Paul Benavides <PHB...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> news:11472-38...@storefull-616.iap.bryant.webtv.net...
> > I actually thought Paul Barker was quite a cool guy. I met him at an
> > Atari Teenage Riot show here in Austin(tx). He was a real cool guy. He
> > even hoked me up to go back stage to two of their dates on this last
> > tour. So what happened that you all have a negative vibe on Paul
> > Barker???
> >
> > PAUL BENAVIDES
> >
Keefybabe
>Thanks, but I'm not a troll - I'm entirely serious. If it's funny, as the
>cliche goes, it's funny because it's true.
OK then...
I am not saying what you are saying is true, I am not saying its a
lie.
Give examples of why he is a bastard so we can see for ourselves.
Everything you have said so far has been simple statements of, "He
believes everyone is beneath contempt".
This won't convince anyone its true.
Tell us a few examples. I for one would like to hear them.
--------------------------------------------------
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
Objective Reality
Should I start with the story about how Paul Barker was an absolute primadonna
dick when I conducted a television interview with him, answering serious and
relevant questions with single-syllable quips and protracted, self-important
sneering?
(For context, I also conducted the only videotaped interview of Skinny Puppy
known to exist, over the course of three hours. They were perfect gentlemen
throughout, and happy to have the opportunity to expound upon their artwork to
an interested interviewer. You can still find that interview in tape trading
circles - it's that good. Paul Barker, however, was all too happy to piss away
the opportunity for a similar documentary by flauting his obnoxious ego.)
Or maybe I should detail the time I was invited to a Fourth of July party (by
one of the people who PAID for it) at the Ministry "ranch" (actually a crappy
house in Horseshoe Bay, Texas - for some reason, they figured moving to a hick
town would be the equivalent of living in Austin... Smoooooth move, there,
Ministry) and Paul Barker proved himself the most obnoxious Yankee cocksucker
on the face of the earth:
(Me: "Hey, I like your bar room." Him: "Yeah, of course you do - I designed
it. Why don't you go outside now?!")
Of course, a better story would be how, on the cusp of Ministry's impending
failure, while they were rehearsing for their aborted tour at my friend's
(real) ranch, Paul Barker happened across my circle of friends (all of whom
have similar stories about him), and stopped to pat one of my friend's dogs.
Eminently unimpressed, one of my legit punk-rock friends burst into laughter
and told Barker that he petted my friend's dog "like such a Rock Star." Barker
practically stormed away in tears, like the self-absorbed little bitch that he
is.
Should I start with those, or any of the other half-dozen or so times I
encountered the stupid cunt before I grew up and stopped dealing with these
pathetic scenesters and their pompous bullshit? I dunno... Maybe you should
just wait and see what I input as the first entry of the "Encountering Paul"
section of the "Paul Barker: Talentless Hack Bastard" website
(http://www.objectivereality.com/paulbarker). Without a doubt, given a place
for their publication, you'll see hundreds of similar stories appearing in no
time.
Regardless, don't mistake my recollection of these personal encounters for
anything even remotely resembling any concern whatsoever for what Paul Barker
"thinks" of me - I couldn't care less. It doesn't matter WHY Paul Barker's a
talentless hack bastard, the objective reality is simply that he IS.
Objective Reality
> You are VERY creative.
What, are you saying I just made all of that up? Unlike Al, Paul isn't
a decades-long drug addict, so he'll definitely remember the July 4th
party - just ask him, if you know him so well. But when you do, be sure
to tell him I said to go fuck a goat and then hang himself, and let him
sneer at that for a while. As for the interview, I honestly don't know
if I still have that tape anywhere - I probably threw it out after
Ministry crashed and burned in such a Hindenburgian manner. Rest
assured, I will search my archives for it, and post it on the site if I
find it.
> Paul is actually a very nice guy.
No, he is not. He is actually a complete and total dickwad who deserves
Cholera. I don't exactly make a habit of savaging "nice guys" in print,
and devoting my spare time to building websites devoted exclusively to
mocking and denigrating them. I wouldn't be expending nearly so much
energy on the sludgefucker if he were only _kind of_ unpleasant (like
cEvin Key, for example - not the friendliest guy I've met, but no Paul
Barker by any means... besides, unlike Barker, Key has talent, so,
objectively speaking, he's entitled). But the fact is that his is the
most stridently arrogant personality I've ever encountered, it manifests
itself in abject rudeness at any opportunity and with zero provocation,
and it has absolutely no basis in anything even remotely close to being
considered a redeeming quality. To call Paul Barker a "very nice guy"
is to insult every genuinely nice guy alive, and I have to wonder what
it is about the character of the people in your everyday life that has
reduced your standards for "niceness" to such lowly, sewerly depths.
Seriously.
http://www.objectivereality.com/paulbarker/
Stay tuned.
downfall
> Should I start with those, or any of the other half-dozen or so times
> I encountered the stupid cunt before I grew up and stopped dealing
> with these pathetic scenesters and their pompous bullshit? I dunno...
> Maybe you should just wait and see what I input as the first entry of
> the "Encountering Paul" section of the "Paul Barker: Talentless Hack
> Bastard" website (http://www.objectivereality.com/paulbarker).
> Without a doubt, given a place for their publication, you'll see
> hundreds of similar stories appearing in no time.
yeah, that paul such an aloof bastard, always sneering at others and
hell, when i was at the ministry compound, in texas, he wouldn't even
let me play with his fucking gi joe collection. that bastard.
his snobbery during the "gi joe incident" reminds me of a time, whilst
the ministry boyz were recording _filth pig_ me, al and paul went into
the desert, for five nights, armed with shotguns, ten gallons of jack
and a couple of shaved monkeys, you know, for cooking? well, any way,
me and al (or as his friends call him ally) were shooting gila monsters
with the shotguns and talking 'bout takin' a few of them back to the
compound, so they can snack on wee willie's nut sack while he slept.
wee willie was a decent man... but not up to the fashion, you know? me
and al took to wearing penny loafers, or as they were called in dallas,
fag loafers and willie refused to wear them. instead he decided his
bold fashion statement was to tuck a bag of crack rocks into his belt...
but that caused too many problems with al, so he stopped shortly after
beginning.
so there we were, in the desert, jacked up on coke, whiskey and crack,
which al stole from willie's belt before leaving, whilst shooting gila
monsters. anyrate, i went to get a skull to drink some more of that
fine jack and left al with the shotgun all by himself. he decided that
gila wasn't propper for shooting and instead were better for eating. so
he grabbed one and scarfed it down his throat. needless to say this
wasn't good as gila is quite a poisoness lil' treat unless cooked
propperly and prepared during the third full moon of the second month of
the third year after leap year.
so i turn around and see al, dropped on the ground, turning blue from
gila poisoning and i scream "al, gilas not for eating. that's what
monkeys fer." and promptly grab the shotgun and begin laying a few
rounds into paul's truck to celebrate al's stupidity. and all the time
barker stands there, just staring down at us like we were a couple of
'tards or sumthin'.
anyrate, i don't like the bastard either.
-downfall
"if you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today." - warren ellis
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