A new song that does not describe my present work situation
P.F. Bruns
May be sung to the tune of "Part of Your World," from the Little Mermaid
Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Music and lyrics by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken
©1992,1998 Walt Disney Pictures/Walt Disney Music.
New lyrics ©2008 P.F. Bruns. Rights reserved under the Creative Commons
"Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike" license, version 3.0.
There is a call
Ringing my phone
Some days it feels like I'm in here alone
Wouldn't you think they would hire
A couple more people here?
Look at this queue
12 calls on hold
Some of them probably two hours old
Looking around here, you'd ask
Is anyone working here?
We get only a couple days training
Then they drag us all out on the floor
You want managers?
Leave a message
They'll call back
In a week
Maybe more
I want to sit where the windows are
I haven't felt the sun's rays in hours
I haven't seen natural...what's it called?
Light
Fluorescent light tends to drain my strength
Sunlight's required to keep my pigment
Lately my skin has turned...what's that tone again?
White
When can I stretch? When can I stand?
When can I take a trip to the can?
There is no doubt; I should log out
Get off my phone
What would it take to get a break just for a short while?
Or you could say, just take the day--I wouldn't mind
We're so behind, we sometimes find
Customers reaching us by Morse code
They're out of patience; their ventilations
Aren't all that kind
They'd like to know what our problem is
Asking us questions we cannot answer
Why can't we make all their cares--what's the word?
Gone?
So they rant on, blasting our ears, making each second seem like two years
I wish someday
I could just say
Get off my phone
-=-=-
... WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get
Spiritdancer
these words which changed my life:
> Get Off My Phone
> May be sung to the tune of "Part of Your World," from the Little
> Mermaid Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
> Music and lyrics by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken
> ©1992,1998 Walt Disney Pictures/Walt Disney Music.
> New lyrics ©2008 P.F. Bruns. Rights reserved under the Creative
> Commons "Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike" license, version
> 3.0.
But it DOES describe mine. <SIGH>
--
ShadowWalker/Ron
Network+ Certified Professional
. . . washed the cat - took HOURS to get the hair off my tongue!
P.F. Bruns
> But it DOES describe mine. <SIGH>
>
Sorry about that...unless it gave you a laugh.
Best,
Perry
-=-=-
... Tagline dropped due to budget cuts.
Spiritdancer
life:
> Spiritdancer wrote:
>
>> But it DOES describe mine. <SIGH>
>>
>
> Sorry about that...unless it gave you a laugh.
>
It did.
I sit on the phone 8 hours a day talking with people about their 401(k)s, trying to explain to them
why, even though it IS their money, the IRS will NOT let them have it.
I've been thinking about passing it on to some of my closer friends at work so they can (finally) get
a chuckle out of the situation.
--
ShadowWalker/Ron
Network+ Certified Professional
NASD Series 6 and 63 Licensed
It is impossible to experience one's death
objectively and still carry a tune.
Lee Gold
>
> I sit on the phone 8 hours a day talking with people about their 401(k)s,
> trying to explain to them
> why, even though it IS their money, the IRS will NOT let them have it.
Well, not until they reach 59.5. And then, at I think it's 72.5, at
least
for traditional IRAs and Keoghs, you MUST start taking money
out of them at a rate based on your age. (And I had to explain to
a friend who's over 72 that she would be getting a higher %age of
her IRA every year, in the hope that the principal wouldn't keep
growing bigger.)
I also had to explain to the stock company that had my father's Keogh
which on his death turned into my mother's IRA which on her death
turned into my IRA, that neither I nor my bank liked them
sending my IRA checks made out to "Judith Klingstein -- deceased."
They eventually agreed to make them payable to me and note
the necessary information on the stub instead.
OK, I concede that's off-topic.
I will slink off to overflow unless someone else can get it
to rhyme and scan. Keogh rhymes with Keeno.
Roth (rhymes with goth) IRAs don't have any obligatory
date to start taking out money, but the money in them
must have been there for at least five years or you'll
get penalized.
I applied this week for Social Security benefits to start in
August when I'm 65 and 10 months and can get full benefits.
The interviewer asked me FOUR times if I was sure my husband
wasn't getting Social Security yet, perhaps because it's so
unusual for a woman to be married to a younger man.
(Aha! I've found a filk saver.)
SOCIAL SECURITY BLANKET
by Lee Gold, Copyright 1990, first published in FILKER UP #3 (back when
Social Security was officially in a virtual locked fiscal drawer)
to the tune of "Wishful Thinking"
Ponzi is infamous as the man who perfected the Pyramid Scheme, a scam
by which money paid by new investors is used to pay dividends to older
investors. Inevitably, of course, the Pyramid collapses and everyone's
capital investment is found to have disappeared -- usually along with
the organizer.
Oh, I used to sit and worry about when I grow old,
Of running out of money, eating dogfood in the cold.
Till I looked at my pay-stub and saw F.I.C.A.
The government will help me, when my hair has turned to gray.
The Social Security system is fiscally quite sound.
It saves up money for me, while I spend the rest around.
The bureaucrats are kindly; they want us all to thrive.
So I no longer worry about hitting sixty-five.
I'll be safe with the Social Security system.
The birth rate's slowin', but it keeps on growin'.
Ev'ry year th' base gets bigger that they go on.
They've got my number, and I've got theirs.
[Spoken: So it takes them a while to answer.]
So I won't spend all my money and have to sell my home.
I'll take a dream vacation ev'ry year or two to Rome.
'Cause every month they'll pay me, with a cost of living raise,
So I'll have loads of cash to spend when I have reached old age.
Hurrah for the Social Security system!
I've got to hand it, to the man who planned it.
He gave us just what our age demanded.
So let's all hear it, for that Ponzi guy!
[Spoken: Oops, I meant F.D.R.]
Now there's no need to worry it might run out of dough.
The president has said it's safe, and he sure ought to know.
Those DC politicians - may spend all they've got and more,
But they can't touch my money, 'cause it's in a sep'rate drawer.
Just believe in the Social Security system.
If you retire, things won't get dire.
Inflation may push the prices higher
But we'll be happy, and that's no joke.
Yes, we'll be happy, till it goes broke.