New filk: 50 Ways to Fix Your Novel
Arthur T.
ttto: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (by Paul Simon)
This novel really isn't bad, I must admit
But still I think that you should tweak it just a bit
And I will give you some ideas if you'll permit
There must be 50 ways to fix your novel
The plot might have a hole or two, I think you'll see
And your protagonist needs work to some degree
So listen, all in all, I think you will agree
There must be 50 ways to fix your novel
50 ways to fix your novel
You just edit it down, clown
Make a new start, Art
Drop the old passive voice, Royce
Just tighten it up
Cut the adverbs, Herb
Watch that big infodump, chump
Then show us; don't tell, Nell
And tighten that pup
That "surprise" is a dud, Bud
Your character's flat, Kat
Bat Durstons are schlock, Jacques
And ideas are key
The mood's amiss, Chris
Fix the holes in the plot, Scott
Tom Swiftys are dumb, chum
So fix it for me
You said you think you now see things you can improve
A lot of extra words and phrases to remove
And now you're done, I think the two of us have proved
There had been 50 ways to fix your novel
So now submit it to see what the agents say
There is no reason to wait even one more day
But then the agents say, to both of our dismay,
There must be 50 ways to fix your novel
50 ways to fix your novel
You just edit it down, clown
Make a new start, Art
Drop the old passive voice, Royce
Just tighten it up
Cut the adverbs, Herb
Watch that big infodump, chump
Then show us; don't tell, Nell
And tighten that pup
That "surprise" is a dud, Bud
Your character's flat, Kat
Bat Durstons are schlock, Jacques
And ideas are key
The mood's amiss, Chris
Fix the holes in the plot, Scott
Tom Swiftys are dumb, chum
So fix it for me
My lyrics copyright 2009 by Arthur Tansky. License granted for
non-commercial archiving and performance as long as:
1. copyright notice is maintained, and
2. no money changes hands.
--
Arthur T. - ar23hur "at" intergate "dot" com
Looking for a z/OS (IBM mainframe) systems programmer position
Kay Shapero
art...@munged.invalid says...
> Title: 50 Ways to Fix Your Novel
> ttto: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (by Paul Simon)
>
> This novel really isn't bad, I must admit
> But still I think that you should tweak it just a bit
> And I will give you some ideas if you'll permit
> There must be 50 ways to fix your novel
>
OOK! Have you been reading rec.arts.sf.written recently? :)
--
Kay Shapero
FAQ: http://www.kayshapero.net/filkfaq.htm
address munged, email me at kay at domain name
http://www.kayshapero.net