I AM SO UPSET SOMEBODY HELP ME :-((((((

[Jolene]

I HAVE CONFIRMATION THAT AN OLD RUMOR ABOUT BOB IS TRUE, AND THE RUMOR
IS FROM THE SAME PERSON WHO TOLD ME ABOUT THE YOUNG TALL THIN BLACK
MODEL LOOKING YOUNG WOMAN IN THE LIMOUSINE WHO CLAIMED TO BE BOB
DYLAN'S GIRLFRIEND (THIS IS FROM THE MID 2000'S BEST AS I CAN RECALL)
(HE DIDN'T MEET HER, HE WORKED AT A GAS STATION IN MALIBU, AND PLAYED
BOB ALL DAY, AND WAS QUITE A TALKER, AND MET A LOT OF PEOPLE, AND
OBVIOUSLY, LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO MET PEOPLE, ETC...)

HELP!!!!!!! I'M TOTALLY FUCKING FURIOUS ABOUT THIS, LIVID, OUT OF MY
MIND, I CAN'T BE HAPPY WITH BOB ANYMORE, I AM SO MAD AT HIM, I HAVE TO
KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS ABOUT, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, HELP ME OUT HERE, WHAT THE
HELL WAS GOING ON??????? ANYTHING??? DID ANYTHING HAPPEN????????????
IS THERE SOMETHING I NEED TO KNOW??????????

[Jolene]

at first when he told me the relevant info was that he wasn't married
(or like just a total inconceivable scumbag, married with girlfriend/
sugarbaby on the side)

then i thought he made it up so i would THINK he wasn't married, and
it wasn't even true at all.

another option was that he just took care of her but there was nothing
physical between them (reaching here)

or more wishful thinking: she made it up

BOB THIS IS KILLING ME AND I WISH YOU WOULD OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH ONCE
AND TALK. YOU LOVE THIS, DON'T YOU, BOB? HIDING AWAY WHERE YOU THINK
YOU HAVE THIS GREAT BIG SECRET, HEE HEE HEE, NOBODY REALLY KNOWS ME, I
DON'T RESPECT ANYBODY WHO LIKES ME BOB DYLAN THE ARTIST, I GET TO LIE
TO ALL OF THEM, TO TALK IN TONGUES, TO BABBLE AWAY LIKE A MORON, AND
THEY LOVE TO EAT ALL MY POOP, AND AREN'T I JUST SO SPECIAL, BOBBY
DYLAN, MOMMY'S LITTLE BOY, HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE LOOK AT ME.

GO FUCK YOURSELF BOB. YOU ARE A FIRST CLASS IDIOT, AND I WANT TO KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL YOU HAVE BEEN DOING SINCE WE MET BEFORE I AM
NICE TO YOU.

AND I AM SO FUCKING MAD BECAUSE I HAVE NO OTHER OUTLETS FOR SOCIAL
SUPPORT, I DON'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE WHO CAN MEET MY NEEDS AS WELL AS THE
COMPUTER, WHO IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME, WHO HAS NEVER HAD ENOUGH, WHOM I
CAN NEVER OVERWHELM, WHO NEVER HAS TO ASK ME TO DO YOU EVER JUST BE
QUIET OR TO PLEASE SHUT UP OR TURN ME OFF, AND I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY
THAT I AM A HUMAN BEING, AND I DO THIS TO SHARE WITH PEOPLE AS WELL,
WHEN IT IS QUITE VERY WELL POSSIBLE THAT IF I KNEW WHO YOU REALLY
WERE, OR I SHOULD SAY, WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF ME, HOW YOU SEE ME,
HOW YOU VIEW ME, BOB DYLAN, THAT I WOULD FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS, THAT
YOU DON'T DESERVE ME, AND I WOULD REGRET EVERY SINGLE FUCKING STROKE
OF THE PENCIL AND THE KEYBOARD I MADE AVAILABLE FOR YOUR VIEWING, AND
RUNNING OUT TO YOU IN THE MIDWEST LIKE A FUCKING MINDLESS IDIOT WHO
THOUGHT YOU WERE WORTHY OF ME.

ACTUALLY, I DON'T REGRET IT ALL, I HOPE IT RUINED YOUR LIFE, I HOPE I
MADE YOU MISERABLE, I HOPE I RUINED YOUR SEX LIFE, I HOPE YOU NEVER
GET MARRIED, I WISH I COULD STOP POSTING, I WISH I COULD HAVE NOTHING
MORE TO DO WITH YOU UNTIL I FIND OUT EXACTLY WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, I
HATE THAT I AM EVEN TALKING TO YOU, I WISH I COULD TERRIFY YOU INTO
MEEKNESS AND SUBMISSION WITH SILENCE, AND SENTENCE YOU TO WALKING THE
REST OF YOUR DAYS ON EARTH WITH YOUR EARS PLASTERED AGAINST YOUR HEAD
AND YOUR TAIL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.

[Jolene]

I SUPPOSE THE "TEMPORARY COMPANION" THEY HAD TO FIND FOR YOU WAS THE
PROSTITUTE SERVICE COMPANY WHO SENT YOU A WOMAN EVERY NIGHT TO SCREW
TO KEEP YOU SATISFIED UNTIL YOU COULD GET ME BACK WITH YOUR AMORPHOUS
AMBIGUOUS LEGALY SOUND ALBUMS, SO YOU COULD FUCK ME, THE INNOCENT
ADORING FEMALE FAN WITH THE BLACK HAIR, BIG TITS, AND TIGHT PUSSY????

[Jolene]

I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN ER, AND IT IS COMFORTING, BUT DEEP DEEP
DOWN, THOUGH, I MEAN, WE ARE ALL OF US, WHOLE, COMPLEX HUMAN BEINGS,
AND PEOPLE CAN HAVE WHOLE SECRET PRIVATE LIVES THAT OTHERS DON'T KNOW
ABOUT, UNKNOWN TO THEIR OWN FAMILIES, THEIR OWN LOVERS, THEIR OWN
COLLEAGUES, THEIR OWN EMPLOYERS, ETC.. ETC...

NOW I DON'T THINK ANYONE CAN HELP ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHO BOB IS, AND IT IS PAINFUL TO ME.

I SENSE THAT IT IS PAINFUL TO MY EGO AND MY PRIDE, THAT I AM BEHAVING
SENSELESSLY, THINKING TO KNOW SOMEONE, THINKING TO LOVE SOMETHING THAT
I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS REAL OR NOT. OR PERHAPS I SHOULD SAY, HOW REAL
IT IS, AND BEHAVING AS IF IT WERE 100% REAL, PRESSING ON AS THOUGH I
KNOW THIS, EVEN THROUGH ALL THE DOUBT AND DISBELIEF, ACTING AS THOUGH
I KNOW IT WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING AS THOUGH IT IS AN
INCONTROVERTIBLE TRUTH.

THIS IS SHAMEFUL TO ME, THAT MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING PHONY.

[Jolene]

SORRY I'VE BEEN BUSY FURIOUSLY HOUSECLEANING THIS WHOLE TIME. I HAVE
BEEN INCAPACITATED BY MY INFIRMITY, AND WILL STILL REMAIN IN THIS HALF-
CAST FOR AT LEAST A FEW MORE WEEKS. BTW, I FINALLY STARTED WEARING IT
IN THE HOUSE, TOO, AS I FOUND THAT AFTER THE INITIAL EXTREME
SENSITIVITY ON THE SURFACE DISSIPATED, IT FEELS WAYYY MORE COMFORTABLE
TO HAVE IT ON, ALL THE FUCKING TIME, INCLUDING DURING SLEEP, NOT TO
MENTION THAT IT IS SAFER, TOO. I ALSO SIT ALL DAY EVERY DAY WITH IT
PROPPED UP ON THE COFFEE TABLE WITH PILLOWS, AS I HAVE SAID. I ALSO
DID *NOT* HOBBLE DOWN TO 7-11 THAT NIGHT I SAID I WANTED TO, AND HAVE
BEEN SO COMFORTABLE HERE WITH IT HERE IN THE AIR IN THE CAST THAT I
HAVE FINALLY FULLY CEASED SEEKING DAILY IN MY DARKEST HOUR TO DROWN MY
SORROWS DOWN IN THAT SLOUGH OF DESPOND, THROUGH ENDLESS DAYS STUCK
HERE ALL ALONE ON MY COUCH SIMMERING IN THIS STEW OF DISCOMFORT AND
DISSATISFACTION. NOR DO I GO OUT OTHERWISE ANY MORE THAN ABSOLUTELY
NECESSARY: GROCERY SHOPPING AS INFREQUENTLY AS POSSIBLE, WITH TAXIS
HOME, AS WELL AS ORDERING FROM YUMMY, CVS AT THE CORNER TO GET MEDS
AND MISCELLANEOUS, AND DOCTORS, PLUS ONE FAMILY SOCIAL VISIT AFTER A
DOCTOR, OBVIOUSLY COMBINING AS MANY OF THESE ERRANDS AS POSSIBLE AT
ONCE.

ALTHOUGH THE HOUSE WAS NOT MESSY PER SE, IT WAS FUCKING FILTHY. I'M
STILL NOWHERE NEAR DONE, BUT MOSTLY LEFT IS JUST LOTSA LOADS OF
LAUNDRY, WHICH CAN BE DONE AT LEISURE. I'M TAKING A VERY LATE LUNCH
BREAK OF LOW FAT COTTAGE CHEESE WITH FLAX MEAL AND STEVIA ON THESE
MASSIVE CRUNCHY CELERY STALKS FROM WHOLE FOODS. I WANTED TO SAY AFTER
POSTING BUT GOT IMMEDIATELY DISTRACTED AS IT WAS NOT POSTED
INSTANTANEOUSLY, THAT THE POST WENT IN EXACTLY WHEN I FINISHED FULLY
REVIEWING IT (OR I SHOULD SAY PREVIEWING IT) AND FOUND MYSELF TO BE
SATISFIED TO SEND, UNAWARES OF THE GREAT HOUR. NEEDLESS TO SAY, MY
DEFINITION OF FULLY CONTINUALLY VARIES CYCLICALLY IN ACCORDANCE WITH
THE WIDE GAMUT OF MY SPAN OF ATTENTION.

I ALSO FIND IT HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS AS WELL AS DISHEARTENING THAT UPON MY
LONG-AWAITED RETURN AFTER SUCH A GREAT ABSENCE, THAT I DISCOVER NARY A
SINGLE POST TO GREET ME. :-(

THAT IS ALL. AS YOU WERE. OR WERE NOT.

OH YEAH. I GOTTA CHECK ER.

MAN, I'M TOTALLY FUCKING BUSH-WHACKED. :)