Your counter-arguments seem based solely on the view of
"marriage-as-contract". Is that all marriage is?
If you want to really demean marriage, I can't think of a better way to do
it than to define it solely as a contract between two people.
Here's a scene from "The Schoolmarm", a gender inversion of "The
Virginian". The scene makes more sense in the context of the entire film.
Sorry if the formatting is confusing, but people don't like it when postings
aren't plain-text.
INT: TEACHER'S COTTAGE: EARLY SUNDAY EVENING
TEX and RITTER enter, and RITTER lights the desk lamp. He pulls out a Bible
and browses it. TEX is surprised.
TEX
With all ya said, I figgered you was a infidel. Ya went ta church so people
wouldn't talk.
RITTER
No. I'm a believer. I just don't believe in a God Who makes arbitrary rules,
then punishes us for breaking them. Or Who tempts us, then throws us into
Hell for yielding to temptation.
Even if I were an infidel, I'd still have this Bible. My mother gave it to
me, in her expectation it would keep me from sin.
TEX
Doesn't seem t'ave worked.
RITTER
Not all sins are sexual. Lying, coveting, making a god of material things...
Murder.
(finding the section he's looking for)
Marriage is a covenant between two people. They aren't married by a minister
or justice of the peace. They marry each other, and if it isn't a willing
union, it isn't a valid union.
TEX
So it don't matter what the law says?
RITTER
All the law says is which unions are legally valid.
Our marriage won't have force of law, but our commitment will be as strong
as any other couple's.
We can join ourselves in wedlock, if we want.
TEX
Yeah. I want to. A lot.
TEX and RITTER sit quietly for some time, holding hands and looking into
each other's eyes. When they know they're ready, RITTER opens the Bible and
begins reading. (The ellipses indicate pauses where RITTER edits the
ceremony to make it appropriate for two men.)
RITTER
"...we are gathered... to solemnize the union of Mr Avery and Mr Ritter.
Marriage is an honorable estate, instituted in the necessities of our being,
and dedicated to the happiness of mankind. It is not to be entered into
unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, and soberly."
TEX and RITTER pause to consider that passage. Then RITTER passes the Bible
to TEX, who reads from it.
TEX
"If there be any present who knows why these two should not be wed, let him
speak now or forever hold his peace."
Only one I know of's been run outta town.
TEX returns the Bible to RITTER.
RITTER
"Frederick Aloysius Avery, do you take Lynn Stark Ritter to be your
wedded... spouse to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love,
comfort, honor, and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in
sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful only to him
so long as you both shall live?"
TEX
I do.
RITTER hands the Bible to TEX.
TEX
"Do you, Lynn Stark Ritter, take Frederick Aloysius Avery to be your wedded
spouse to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor,
and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in
health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you
both shall live?"
RITTER
I do.
TEX and RITTER kiss uneasily. Unlike their previous kisses, this one is
tentative, even chaste. When the kiss is done, they lay their heads on the
other's shoulders.
They're startled by a KNOCK at the door.
TEX
That must be Judge Henry.
RITTER reflexively closes the Bible, with his finger marking the page, and
carries it to the door.
RITTER
Judge...?
JUDGE HENRY
Good evening. Is Mr Avery here?
TEX
Sure am, Judge.
JUDGE HENRY
I wouldn't have barged in, but we have a lot of work to go over, and I don't
want to get to bed late. Mrs Henry doesn't like sleeping alone.
TEX
How'd you know I was here?
JUDGE HENRY
(suggestively)
You two spend a lot of time together.
TEX\
(firm, unhesitating)
We're friends.
JUDGE HENRY
(noticing RITTER's Bible)
What's this? May I?
RITTER reluctantly hands him the book. JUDGE HENRY inserts a finger so as
not to lose the selected page.
JUDGE HENRY
(not serious)
Are you trying to make up for not attending church recently?
He opens the Bible, and after squinting, recognizes what he's looking at. He
realizes what was going on when he arrived, and doesn't indicate
disapproval.
JUDGE HENRY
(subtly arch, "aware")
Well, then... When your affairs here are completed, Mr Avery, get on back.
Not too late.
Smiling sincerely, JUDGE HENRY tips his hat and leaves.
RITTER
Think he knows?
TEX
Judge Henry's bout the smartest fella ya'll ever meet. He knows. And I don't
give a damn that he does.
RITTER
Better be gettin' back, then.
TEX
Ya did it again. <beat> I was lookin forward ta the honeymoon.
RITTER
There'll be plenty of time.
TEX and RITTER engage in a passionate kiss that lasts a lot longer then
three seconds.