OT:Write world's shortest books.
doug
"Things I Love About My Country" by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. with
illustrations by Michael Moore
"My Christian Accomplishments And How I Helped After Katrina" by Revs.
Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton
"Things I Love About Bill" by Hillary Clinton
"Things I Love About Hillary, The Sequel" by Bill Clinton
"Things I Cannot Afford" by Bill Gates
"Things I Would Not Do For Money" by Dennis Rodman
"Things We Know To Be True" by Al Gore & John Kerry
"Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific"
"A Collection of Motivational Speeches" by Dr. Jack Kevorkian
"All the Men We've Loved Before" by Ellen DeGeneres & Rosie O"Donnell
"The Amish Phone Directory"
"My Plan To Find The Real Killer(s)" by O.J. Simpson
"How To Drink And Drive Safely" by Ted Kennedy
"My Book of Morals" by Bill Clinton & Tiger Woods, with introduction
by Rev. Jesse Jackson
"Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy" by Nancy Pelosi
"Things I Did To Deserve The Nobel Peace Prize" by Barack Obama "
Fugue
doug
> "Intelligent Internet Posts" by Doug
One thing I have noticed about humor like this.
Truth hurts and liberals have no sense of humor.
Fugue
LIBERAL:
broad: showing or characterized by broad-mindedness; "a broad
political stance"; "generous and broad sympathies"; "a liberal
newspaper"; "tolerant ...
having political or social views favoring reform and progress
tolerant of change; not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or
tradition
a person who favors a political philosophy of progress and reform and
the protection of civil liberties
big: given or giving freely; "was a big tipper"; "the bounteous
goodness of God"; "bountiful compliments"; "a freehanded host"; "a
handsome allowance"; "Saturday's child is loving and giving"; "a
liberal backer of the arts"; "a munificent gift"; "her fond and
openhanded grandfather"
a person who favors an economic theory of laissez-faire and self-
regulating markets
free: not literal; "a loose interpretation of what she had been told";
"a free translation of the poem"
No sir, we wouldn't want anyone thinking or behaving like that...
doug
what a bunch of bullshit
Fugue
ecj
completely stupid all the jokes are if you think about them for more
than 5 seconds. Let's break it down.
On Jan 5, 11:58 am, doug <hogrid...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Other Black People I've Met While Yachting' by Tiger Woods
Have you ever watched a rap video? You might want to try. There are
a lot of brothers yachting these days.
> "Things I Love About My Country" by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. with
> illustrations by Michael Moore
Because to really love something, you can never admit that there are
any problems with it.
> "My Christian Accomplishments And How I Helped After Katrina" by Revs.
> Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton
This one might have worked better if the author was the born again
Christian, compassionate conservative president, George Bush. You
know, since he could actually be expected to do something in the event
of a natural disaster.
> "Things I Love About Bill" by Hillary Clinton
Because no conservatives have ever had affairs.
> "Things I Love About Hillary, The Sequel" by Bill Clinton
How many John Ensigns, Ted Haggards or Strom Thurmonds have to be
outed for their lascivious conduct before you guys give up moralizing
as a past time.
> "Things I Cannot Afford" by Bill Gates
> "Things I Would Not Do For Money" by Dennis Rodman
I'll give these to you. The second one is even kind of funny.
Probably because it doesn't require a deranged worldview to
understand.
> "Things We Know To Be True" by Al Gore & John Kerry
I'm not really sure why these two are arbitrarily grouped together
here. Are you still mad about "An Inconvenient Truth"?
> "Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific"
Is she included in this list because you think she was a lesbian?
Probably.
> "A Collection of Motivational Speeches" by Dr. Jack Kevorkian
Because there's nothing more uplifting than keeping terminally ill and
chronically suffering senior citizens alive by outsourcing 90% of
their bodily functions to machines.
> "All the Men We've Loved Before" by Ellen DeGeneres & Rosie O"Donnell
There's just nothing grosser than lesbians, huh?
> "The Amish Phone Directory"
Did you know that a lot of Amish people use phones and ride on trains
and busses? True story.
> "My Plan To Find The Real Killer(s)" by O.J. Simpson
This one really falls flat since OJ actually wrote a book like this.
The title of that book is funnier than your joke title.
> "How To Drink And Drive Safely" by Ted Kennedy
Can we make the author Laura Bush, instead? Or, is it ok because
she's a Republican.
> "My Book of Morals" by Bill Clinton & Tiger Woods, with introduction
> by Rev. Jesse Jackson
Hey, you remember when Mark Foley sexted his congressional pages? How
about Sanford's hike on the Appalachian Trail? No, how about John
Ensign screwing his friend's wife when they all lived in the same
house? Oh, remember when Ted Haggard screwed his gay, masseuse-
prostitute drug dealer? Good times.
> "Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy" by Nancy Pelosi
Yeah, you know who knows all kinds of awesome military strategies?
Republicans. That's why we so easily defeated the insurgencies in
Afghanistan and Iraq, eliminated Al Qaeda, and no longer have to worry
about terrorist threats. Oh...wait.
> "Things I Did To Deserve The Nobel Peace Prize" by Barack Obama "
It just really pisses you off how much other people like this guy,
doesn't it? I'll even give this one to you as kind of funny.
Your deranged worldview reminds me of a primitive tribalism.
Us=good. Them=bad.
Fugue
doug
I can't believe someone is such a complete fucking idiot to spend this
much time trying to refute a little bit of humor. get a fucking life
and go meet someone other than your hand.
Must make you glad gore invented the internet. lol
thomas
I liked this one:
"Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific"
It's funny because she died.
ecj
I took the time to do it because I thought the simpleminded glee with
which you clearly enjoyed your vapid humor was deserving of a put
down. I'm glad to see that my work produced the intended effect.
Fugue
doug
yeah, it took me about 30 seconds to cut and paste this and it took
one idiot a hell of a lot longer to try to come up with some answers
to someone's comedy. what a joke you are. lolol
Andrew Schulman
> yeah, it took me about 30 seconds to cut and paste this and it took
> one idiot a hell of a lot longer to try to come up with some answers
> to someone's comedy. what a joke you are. lolol
>
>
Andrew
Dicerous
Fugue
group? Why don't you spend more time buying Depends for your hero
McCain instead of polluting this guitar forum? There must be some
knuckle-dragger political group out there for you.
ecj
And I had fun doing it. How much time has it taken you to reply to my
posts?