After listening to all that people have to say on the seemingly never ending question of how christian an album is, I now have the answer. Introducing the chrsitianity index or CI for short.
How do we decide if an album is acceptable to listen to? Is it secular? Is it christian? Do the lyrics mention God? Do they explicitly mention Jesus? Do they mention God but not Jesus? It's so confusing! Well see the light and be confused no more by applying these simple rules and deriving the Christianity Index.
Christianity Index - the instructions.
Grab the album in question and apply the following rules:
1. Start the index at 100%. (lets hope for the best) 2. Does the cover depict any nudity or suggestivesness? If so subtract 5% 3. Does the cover contain any well known or rumored satanic symbols? Subtract 5% 4. Is the order of the songs on the cover correct or are they different on the album as opposed to the cover? I hate that, and besides God is a God of order, subtract 10% 5. Does the cover contain dark colours? Subtract 2%. 6. Did the album cost more to buy that than it cost the company to make? If so that's peddling the gospel - subtract 3%. 7. Count up the songs on the album that don't say "Jesus", multiply by 5 and subtract that. 8. Count up the number of times the artist says "Yo!" on the album, multiply by 2 and subtract that. This is a worldly word and should be avoided by true christians, Jesus never said it, so we shouldn't. 9. Are there any cover versions of songs not fully approved by the Christian index process on the album? Subtract 5% per song. 10. Are any songs on the album written in a minor key? If so, subtract 2% per song. 11. Are there any periods of music only on the album lasting more than 23 seconds? Subtract 3% for every such period. 12. Have you heard any songs off the album on non-christian radio stations? Subtract 1% for each time you have heard it on such a station. 13. Does the lyric sheet contain a scripture reference for each song? If so add 20% 14. Does the artist smoke, drink or swear. If so, subtract a lenient 20% for each unholy act. 15. Was the album purchased at a Christian bookstore? If so add 10% 16. Count the number of times the word boy, or girl occurs on the album, multiply by 2 and subtract that total. 17. Count the number of times suggestive panting occurs on the album and subtract that. 18. Is there an altar call at the end of the album? If so add 25%. 19. Are there any words on the album that you cannot hear properly? Add up the words and subtract them. 20. Is the artist dead? If so subtract 40% as this is obviously God's judgement on his music. 21. Does the album contain a leaflet on overseas child sponsorship? If so add 10%. 22. Is it a chrismas album? Subtract 20% for opportunism and the eroding of the true meaning of christmas. 23. Does the album contain any rumored backward masking? Subtract 15%. 24. Do any of the video clips of songs on the album feature the artist dancing with someone other than their husband/wife/some other relatve? Subtract 18%. 25. Does the album contain a new hip version of an old hymn? If so subtract 10% for messing with tradition.
Thats it you now have a figure on which to base your decision. If the album has a CI of under 50% then leave it alone. It is no good for your spiritual growth and should be avoided. If the the album scores 50% or higher then buy it listen to it and enjoy it with a clear conscience.
########################################################################### ### Russell Skingsley Email: Guided Weapons Division r...@homer.dsto.gov.au Defence Science and Technology Organisation r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au "Since I gave up hope I feel a lot better" - Steve Taylor ########################################################################### ###
r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au writes: >Christianity Index - the instructions. >Grab the album in question and apply the following rules: >8. Count up the number of times the artist says "Yo!" on the album, > multiply by 2 and subtract that. This is a worldly word and should be > avoided by true christians, Jesus never said it, so we shouldn't.
Well, just on this one alone...my DC Talk CD's got ratings of 4% each.. :(
>12. Have you heard any songs off the album on non-christian radio stations? > Subtract 1% for each time you have heard it on such a station. >16. Count the number of times the word boy, or girl occurs on the album, > multiply by 2 and subtract that total. >24. Do any of the video clips of songs on the album feature the artist dancing > with someone other than their husband/wife/some other relatve? > Subtract 18%.
Uh oh.... Heart In Motion got a rating of -5,286% Guess it's evil, huh? I *KNEW* I never should have trusted Amy... :)
>Thats it you now have a figure on which to base your decision. If the album >has a CI of under 50% then leave it alone. It is no good for your spiritual >growth and should be avoided. If the the album scores 50% or higher then buy >it listen to it and enjoy it with a clear conscience.
r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au writes: >Christianity Index - the instructions.
Well, what da ya say we give _Dig_ by Adam Again a shot...
>Grab the album in question and apply the following rules: >1. Start the index at 100%. (lets hope for the best) 100% >2. Does the cover depict any nudity or suggestivesness? If so subtract 5%
I suppose a girl in a nightgown throwing blood (I think it's dirt, but the salesman at the bookstore said it was blood--and he should know I guess) counts...95%
>3. Does the cover contain any well known or rumored satanic symbols? Subtract > 5%
That spade has got to be satanic...90%
>4. Is the order of the songs on the cover correct or are they different on the > album as opposed to the cover? I hate that, and besides God is a God of > order, subtract 10%
The enclosed lyrics are out of order, and they don't appear on the CD...80%
>5. Does the cover contain dark colours? Subtract 2%. Dark red...78% >6. Did the album cost more to buy that than it cost the company to make? If > so that's peddling the gospel - subtract 3%.
Last I heard a disc didn't cost 15 bucks to make...75%
>7. Count up the songs on the album that don't say "Jesus", multiply by 5 and > subtract that.
Not one specific mention of Jesus in the bunch: 10 x 5...25%
>8. Count up the number of times the artist says "Yo!" on the album, > multiply by 2 and subtract that. This is a worldly word and should be > avoided by true christians, Jesus never said it, so we shouldn't.
No "Yo!"s...still 25%
>9. Are there any cover versions of songs not fully approved by the Christian > index process on the album? Subtract 5% per song. No covers...25% >10. Are any songs on the album written in a minor key? If so, subtract 2% per > song.
Probably all of them...5%
>11. Are there any periods of music only on the album lasting more than 23 > seconds? Subtract 3% for every such period.
Don't have time to count, so we'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt...5%
>12. Have you heard any songs off the album on non-christian radio stations? > Subtract 1% for each time you have heard it on such a station.
Haven't heard it on any station...5%
>13. Does the lyric sheet contain a scripture reference for each song? If so > add 20% Nope...5% >14. Does the artist smoke, drink or swear. If so, subtract a lenient 20% for > each unholy act.
Don't know, but Gene Eugene wears a baseball cap turned backwards--that's got to be a problem...-15%
>15. Was the album purchased at a Christian bookstore? If so add 10% Yup...-5% >16. Count the number of times the word boy, or girl occurs on the album, > multiply by 2 and subtract that total.
4 girls (+/-):4 x 2...-13%
>17. Count the number of times suggestive panting occurs on the album and > subtract that. No panting...-13% >18. Is there an altar call at the end of the album? If so add 25%.
No altar call...-13%
>19. Are there any words on the album that you cannot hear properly? Add up the > words and subtract them.
I can hear 'em...-13%
>20. Is the artist dead? If so subtract 40% as this is obviously God's > judgement on his music. Not dead...-13% >21. Does the album contain a leaflet on overseas child sponsorship? If so add > 10%. No leaflet...-13% >22. Is it a chrismas album? Subtract 20% for opportunism and the eroding of > the true meaning of christmas. Nope...-13% >23. Does the album contain any rumored backward masking? Subtract 15%.
None that I've heard...-13%
>24. Do any of the video clips of songs on the album feature the artist dancing > with someone other than their husband/wife/some other relatve? > Subtract 18%.
Has Adam Again done a video (if so, please let me know)? I don't think so, so...-13%
>25. Does the album contain a new hip version of an old hymn? If so subtract > 10% for messing with tradition.
No hymns...-13%
So, Adam Again's _Dig_ gets a CI of 13%.
>Thats it you now have a figure on which to base your decision. If the album >has a CI of under 50% then leave it alone. It is no good for your spiritual >growth and should be avoided. If the the album scores 50% or higher then buy >it listen to it and enjoy it with a clear conscience.
P.S. Of course I can't give it to you 'cause then I would be responsible for causing a brother or sister to stumble. I think I better just keep it in my collection where it can't do anyone else any harm. :)
jmstr...@carson.u.washington.edu (John Streck) writes: >P.S. Of course I can't give it to you 'cause then I would be responsible >for causing a brother or sister to stumble. I think I better just keep it in >my collection where it can't do anyone else any harm. :)
Nonononono. That's making provision for the flesh. You might be tempted to go and listen to it again one day. What ya should do is burn it! (and publically, so the whole world knows how righteous you are - I mean, if you do it in your closet, you'd probably burn the house down, what with all those clothes in there). :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
Ross
-- Ross Morley .---. email: r...@prpa.philips.com Philips Research Palo Alto | ___\ Phone: (415) 354 0325 4005 Miranda Ave, Suite 175 \/ \ FAX: (415) 354 0309 Palo Alto, CA 94304 ^^
>>P.S. Of course I can't give it to you 'cause then I would be responsible >>for causing a brother or sister to stumble. I think I better just keep it in >>my collection where it can't do anyone else any harm. :)
>Nonononono. That's making provision for the flesh. You might >be tempted to go and listen to it again one day. What ya should >do is burn it! (and publically, so the whole world knows >how righteous you are - I mean, if you do it in your closet, >you'd probably burn the house down, what with all those clothes >in there). > :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
Nononononono. you can't burn it, it is bad for the environment. You must oversee it being recycled into a Gaither Family album.
Topher -- Christopher A. White | Free Radical Programming c...@gtech.com | High combat Rock'n'Roll GTech Corporation, West Greenwich, RI | Software - Break the rules The opinions expressed are mine alone | and take no prisoners!
In article <1993Mar29.14121...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au> r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au writes:
> 8. Count up the number of times the artist says "Yo!" on the album, > multiply by 2 and subtract that. This is a worldly word and should be > avoided by true christians, Jesus never said it, so we shouldn't.
Hmmmmm. Jesus also never mentioned penecillin, polio vaccines, or airplanes, for that matter. Are these verboten subjects/words as well?
In article <1pa21d$...@umd5.umd.edu> spin...@next06wor.wam.umd.edu (Yon Bonnie Laird of Cairn Robbing) writes:
>In article <1993Mar29.14121...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au> r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au >writes: >> 8. Count up the number of times the artist says "Yo!" on the album, >> multiply by 2 and subtract that. This is a worldly word and should >be >> avoided by true christians, Jesus never said it, so we shouldn't. >Hmmmmm. Jesus also never mentioned penecillin, polio vaccines, or >airplanes, for that matter. Are these verboten subjects/words as well?
You got it, brother. And thou shalt use King James English whenever possible. For example, "I sitteth her at mine terminal and hacketh away at a message to thee".
> ciao > jeff
Also, I would suggest using "shalom" instead of "ciao".
>"Keep passing the open windows"
Paul (the smut snatcher from Tuna, Texas) Conditt
=========================================================================== ==== Paul Conditt Internet: cond...@titan.tsd.arlut.utexas.edu Applied Research Phone: (512) 835-3153 FAX: (512) 835-3416/3259 Laboratories Fedex: 10000 Burnet Road, Austin, Texas 78758-4423 University of Texas Postal: P.O. Box 8029, Austin, Texas 78713-8029 Austin, Texas <----- the most wonderful place in Texas to live
__ | |___ ___|* | \ | \/\ / \ / Texas Tech Lady Raiders \( 1992-93 SWC Champions NCAA West Regional Champions Sheryl Swoopes - Player of the Year Marsha Sharp - Coach of the Year
spin...@next06wor.wam.umd.edu (Yon Bonnie Laird of Cairn Robbing) writes:
>In article <1993Mar29.14121...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au> r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au >writes: >> 8. Count up the number of times the artist says "Yo!" on the album, >> multiply by 2 and subtract that. This is a worldly word and should >be >> avoided by true christians, Jesus never said it, so we shouldn't. >Hmmmmm. Jesus also never mentioned penecillin, polio vaccines, or >airplanes, for that matter. Are these verboten subjects/words as well?
This post was supposed to be a sarcastic hyperbole response to all the arguments on this group. At least, that's how I saw it after I read through it. Did you notice that the .sig said the poster worked for the some DOD organization, but he spelt organization and Defense wrong? :) I found the post hilarious once I assured myself that the poster wasn;t serious. :) Joe
-- Joe Zell * "Suppose they went nowhere?" z...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu * "Then this will be your big chance to get away from it * all." -Admiral Kirk and Dr. McCoy, STII:TWOK
In article <1993Mar29.14121...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au> r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au writes: >After listening to all that people have to say on the seemingly never ending >question of how christian an album is, I now have the answer. Introducing the >chrsitianity index or CI for short.
>How do we decide if an album is acceptable to listen to? Is it secular? Is it >christian? Do the lyrics mention God? Do they explicitly mention Jesus? Do >they mention God but not Jesus? It's so confusing! Well see the light and be >confused no more by applying these simple rules and deriving the Christianity >Index.
>Christianity Index - the instructions.
>Grab the album in question and apply the following rules:
>1. Start the index at 100%. (lets hope for the best)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This already doesn't sound like the 'Christian' thang to do, but I will play along.
>2. Does the cover depict any nudity or suggestivesness? If so subtract 5%
Guess Mark Heard's Satellite Sky loses here. Bummer, I liked that one, too.
>3. Does the cover contain any well known or rumored satanic symbols? Subtract > 5%
Bummer, I just shelled out 10.98 for Mortal's new Fathom. Wished they wouldn't have wrecked it with those triangles. (Wonder if the Israeli's know about the hidden satanism thing in their flag?)
>4. Is the order of the songs on the cover correct or are they different on the > album as opposed to the cover? I hate that, and besides God is a God of > order, subtract 10%
Well, there goes half of my collection.
>5. Does the cover contain dark colours? Subtract 2%.
There goes the other half!
>6. Did the album cost more to buy that than it cost the company to make? If > so that's peddling the gospel - subtract 3%.
I would think that this works opposite from what I have seen of Christian bookstores. "If I don't charge you $14.98 for it, how will it ever minister to you?"
>7. Count up the songs on the album that don't say "Jesus", multiply by 5 and > subtract that.
You mean as a cuss-word? I guess Guns & Roses and Red Hot Chili Peppers are back in the running. Maybe I should go buy some.
>9. Are there any cover versions of songs not fully approved by the Christian > index process on the album? Subtract 5% per song.
So much for the 77's, Rez, Veil, Adam Again, Lost Dogs, The Choir.
>10. Are any songs on the album written in a minor key? If so, subtract 2% per > song.
There go all the rest of my Choir discs.
>12. Have you heard any songs off the album on non-christian radio stations? > Subtract 1% for each time you have heard it on such a station.
Don't worry, this is how I am judging the end of the world. If Adam Again *ever* gets played on *any* kind of radio station, it won't be too far away then.
>15. Was the album purchased at a Christian bookstore? If so add 10%
Was that 10% to the price or to its score?
>20. Is the artist dead? If so subtract 40% as this is obviously God's > judgement on his music.
Bummer for Keith Green, and Mark Heard fans.
Thanks for making my day ;-) -- Tom (moel...@convex.com) What did you say? Well the truth is just simply what it is. Maybe I'm lazy, or maybe I never was a conversation wiz. Silent Wind / King's X
>>>P.S. Of course I can't give it to you 'cause then I would be responsible >>>for causing a brother or sister to stumble. I think I better just keep it in >>>my collection where it can't do anyone else any harm. :)
>>Nonononono. That's making provision for the flesh. You might >>be tempted to go and listen to it again one day. What ya should >>do is burn it! (and publically, so the whole world knows >>how righteous you are - I mean, if you do it in your closet, >>you'd probably burn the house down, what with all those clothes >>in there). >> :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) >Nononononono. you can't burn it, it is bad for the environment. You >must oversee it being recycled into a Gaither Family album.
Nooooo, that won't do either. How can you produce godly music on vinyl that's been used for evil music?
Maybe you can recycle it into garbage bags or something...
Hmmm, I wonder how the Gaithers score, anyway.
Ross
-- Ross Morley .---. email: r...@prpa.philips.com Philips Research Palo Alto | ___\ Phone: (415) 354 0325 4005 Miranda Ave, Suite 175 \/ \ FAX: (415) 354 0309 Palo Alto, CA 94304 ^^
In article <1993Mar30.231042.15...@pencom.com> m...@pencom.com writes: >I REALLY hope this shows up in the FAQ!!!!
If it doesn't, we'll be plauged by repost requests until Christ returns.
Topher -- Christopher A. White | Free Radical Programming c...@gtech.com | High combat Rock'n'Roll GTech Corporation, West Greenwich, RI | Software - Break the rules The opinions expressed are mine alone | and take no prisoners!
In article <1993Mar30.231042.15...@pencom.com> m...@pencom.com writes: >I REALLY hope this shows up in the FAQ!!!!
Me too! I was ROTFLMAO! Maybe a slightly edited version with the warning 'Humor...not for the humor-impaired!' <grin>
--
Mr. Noise <mrno...@econs.umass.edu> Sea of Noise +1-203-886-1441 UMASS-Amherst 8^>= PGP Key in /files/crypt/keyring "Shop as usual & avoid panic buying."
Let's not forget to subtract 10% for each love song that appears on the album. Love expressed for anyone other than God clearly comes from sexual motives, after all. (sarcasm 8^) )
-- "A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." -Arabian Proverb
moel...@convex.com (Tom Moellering) writes: >>After listening to all that people have to say on the seemingly never ending >>question of how christian an album is, I now have the answer. Introducing the >>chrsitianity index or CI for short.
>>How do we decide if an album is acceptable to listen to? Is it secular? Is it >>christian? Do the lyrics mention God? Do they explicitly mention Jesus? Do >>they mention God but not Jesus? It's so confusing! Well see the light and be >>confused no more by applying these simple rules and deriving the Christianity >>Index.
>>Christianity Index - the instructions.
>>Grab the album in question and apply the following rules:
>>1. Start the index at 100%. (lets hope for the best)
Ok. Sunday's Child : 100%
>>2. Does the cover depict any nudity or suggestivesness? If so subtract 5%
Well... No.
>>3. Does the cover contain any well known or rumored satanic symbols? Subtract >> 5%
Well.. it's an OBVIOUS reference to those DEMONIC beings, the Beatles... down to 95%
>>4. Is the order of the songs on the cover correct or are they different on the >> album as opposed to the cover? I hate that, and besides God is a God of >> order, subtract 10%
Going down... 85%
>>5. Does the cover contain dark colours? Subtract 2%.
The whole thing is in greyscale: -4% for denying colors exist. 81%
>>6. Did the album cost more to buy that than it cost the company to make? If >> so that's peddling the gospel - subtract 3%.
Not only did it cost me more, it also cost me more than it cost Americans; so -3% but + 1% because my money is going to help save Americans... 79%
>>7. Count up the songs on the album that don't say "Jesus", multiply by 5 and >> subtract that.
Let me see.. Sunday's Child, Ain't got no, Everything Is Alright, Big Eraser, This could be the Moment, Blessed be the ties, ... that's -24%... Can't recall the words of any more songs, so I'll assume they do.. 55%
>>9. Are there any cover versions of songs not fully approved by the Christian >> index process on the album? Subtract 5% per song.
If "fully approved" means 100% rating, then -10% for the two Mark Heard covers. 45%
>>10. Are any songs on the album written in a minor key? If so, subtract 2% per >> song.
I don't know, but a lot of them SOUND minor.. -10% to 35%.
>>12. Have you heard any songs off the album on non-christian radio stations? >> Subtract 1% for each time you have heard it on such a station.
Phil Keaggy?
>>15. Was the album purchased at a Christian bookstore? If so add 10% >Was that 10% to the price or to its score?
price. Up to 45%.
>>20. Is the artist dead? If so subtract 40% as this is obviously God's >> judgement on his music.
Not. 45%, but I've missed a few. Daily repost of the original is indicated.
>|Nononononono. you can't burn it, it is bad for the environment. You >|must oversee it being recycled into a Gaither Family album. >But that might let the demons into the Gaither record, and THEN >where would we all be?
Laughing at the poor demon - it would be stuck there for YEARS unless it was lucky enough to get to one of those 100 tapes for $.03 sales :-)
(of course, this would only be if everyone's taste in music was like mine)
Mattias -- Mattias Hembruch
>> My views do not necessarily reflect those of the TSE. <<
In article <1993Mar30.201130.10...@titan.tsd.arlut.utexas.edu> cond...@tsd.arlut.utexas.edu (Paul Conditt) writes:
> In article <1pa21d$...@umd5.umd.edu> spin...@next06wor.wam.umd.edu (Yon Bonnie Laird of Cairn Robbing) writes: > >In article <1993Mar29.14121...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au> r...@dstos3.dsto.gov.au > >writes: > >> 8. Count up the number of times the artist says "Yo!" on the album, > >> multiply by 2 and subtract that. This is a worldly word and should > >be > >> avoided by true christians, Jesus never said it, so we shouldn't. > >Hmmmmm. Jesus also never mentioned penecillin, polio vaccines, or > >airplanes, for that matter. Are these verboten subjects/words as well?
> You got it, brother. And thou shalt use King James English whenever > possible. For example, "I sitteth her at mine terminal and hacketh > away at a message to thee".
Oh dear, thou canst tell who was not dragged up on King James English, canst thou not? "Sitteth" and "hacketh" are 3rd person, and "mine" only precedeth words that begin with a vowel sound.
How are you ever going to pray in public if you can't get it right? :-) :-)
Tee hee.
Tony. -- Tony Mountifield (G4CJO) | Microware Systems (UK) Ltd. -----------------------------------| Leylands Farm, Nobs Crook, Email: t...@microware.co.uk | Colden Common, WINCHESTER, SO21 1TH. (or: ...!uknet!mwuk!tony) | Tel: 0703 601990 Fax: 0703 601991 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ** Any opinions are mine, not Microware's - but you knew that anyway. ** ------------------------------------------------------------------------
In article <1pd61dINN...@titan.ucs.umass.edu> mrno...@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Mr. Noise) writes: > In article <1993Mar30.231042.15...@pencom.com> m...@pencom.com writes: > >I REALLY hope this shows up in the FAQ!!!!
> Me too! I was ROTFLMAO! Maybe a slightly edited version with the > warning 'Humor...not for the humor-impaired!' <grin>
Laughing your *arm* off? Must have been painful!
(Don't worry about him, he's 'armless...)
Tony -- Tony Mountifield (G4CJO) | Microware Systems (UK) Ltd. -----------------------------------| Leylands Farm, Nobs Crook, Email: t...@microware.co.uk | Colden Common, WINCHESTER, SO21 1TH. (or: ...!uknet!mwuk!tony) | Tel: 0703 601990 Fax: 0703 601991 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ** Any opinions are mine, not Microware's - but you knew that anyway. ** ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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