(humor) Feds send in Beatle experts
Salvadorwriter
I suspect a conversation is occuring right now
---something like this:
================================
Hello agent Smith?
This is agent Lipshitz, code name "Ian."
I request a backup team of Beatles experts.
We've only got 5 guys holding down the fort at
rec.music.beatles. We're doubling up to look
like 10 posters, but we need more brain power.
This Salvador Astucia guy is asking some tough
questions about the Beatles. We're trying to
belittle him, insult him, discredit him, but he
obviously knows more about the Beatles than
any of us.
Damn it, he's makin' me look bad! And worst
of all, he constantly insults the Bureau!
He calls J. Edgar Hoover a filthy Jew faggot!
At least he insinuates Mr. Hoover was a
filthy Jew faggot. He wasn't was he? I mean
a Jew, we know he was a faggot---rrr, no
that's not what I mean. God Damn it stop
laughing at me!!!! We're both Federal agents.
Let's never forget we're fighting a common
enemy: THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!
Don't ever forget it!
Look Agent Smith, I'm coming unglued.
What do you mean That's obvious?? Whose side
are you on anyway?
Now I'm really starting to get ticked off.
You said this would be an easy assignment.
I'll hang in here for a few more weeks, but
then I want a transfer to something less
controversial like alt.abortion!
Over and out!
[End of Agent Lipshitz/Ian's outburst]
==================================
Subject: Salvador quizzes Ian about Beatles !!
From: salvado...@cs.com (Salvadorwriter)
Date: 6/24/03 10:39 PM Eastern Daylight Time
Message-id: <20030624223933...@mb-m25.news.cs.com>
Ian,
A friend of yours named Mr. Charlie issued
a challenge on your behalf. He told me to
ask you ANY question about the Beatles.
He emphasized the word ANYTHING. He claims
I can ask you ANYTHING about the Beatles.
Mr. Charlie's challenge is shown below along
with a list of questions I wrote.
Good luck and cheers!
Salvador
===================
From: [...]
Subject: Re: Beatle recordings: Which had the best
piano parts??
Newsgroups: rec.music.beatles
Date: 2003-06-24 07:48:49 PST
[...]
[Mister Charlie:]
>>> [...] Ian would mop the floor with you in ANY
>>> discussion about music or Beatles.
[Salvador:]
>> I seriously doubt that. Ian doesn't know squat
>> about the Beatles. He has already demonstrated
>> what a moron he is.
[Mister Charlie:]
> LOL Physician, heal thyself! OK, now you're
> wandering in a fantasy land so deep you can't
> be reached. You come into a group to spam and
> troll and you don't have a CLUE who you are
> talking to!
>
> Please, [...], ask Ian anything you'd like.
> ANYthing. [...]
Okay. Here are a few questions:
1. Name the well-known musician who designed an early
Beatles guitar. Name the musician plus the make & model
of the guitar in question.
2. Who played lead guitar on Another Girl? (cite source)
3. Name the only song written by Lennon & Harrison.
4. Why was the song in Question # 3 given its title?
5. What song is No Reply patterned after?
6. Which of the Beatles is known for odd meters?
7. What make & model electric guitar did George use to
record most of the cuts on Beatles 65? (cite source)
8. What make & model guitar was used to play the solo
in Nowhere Man? (cite source)
9. What popular guitarist helped Paul learn blues
licks and blues history? (cite source)
10. What were Paul's original lyrics to Yesterday?
(cite source)
11. What was the make & model guitar used by George to
play his part in Til There was You? (cite source)
12. What was the make & model guitar used by George to
play his part in I've Just Seen a Face? (cite source)
13. Who plays the lead guitar break (solo) in Day Tripper?
(cite source)
14. What guitarist inspired John to buy his first
Rickenbacker? (cite source)
15. What lyric by what famous singer inspired John to
think of the song title to Please Please Me?
(cite a source)
16. What famous artist inspired John to write You've
Got to Hide Your Love Away? (cite a source)
17. Name the country music recording artist and the
name of the album, by same artist, that George
Harrison wrote liner notes for back in the mid-Sixties.
END
------
Salvador Astucia, author of "Opium Lords" (416 pages), the book that solved the
JFK murder.
View online at http://www.jfkmontreal.com
or purchase book for $29.00 in USA (includes shipping).
Mister Charlie
> Look Agent Smith, I'm coming unglued.
>
Yup. That pretty much says it all.
>
> A friend of yours named Mr. Charlie issued
> a challenge on your behalf. He told me to
> ask you ANY question about the Beatles.
>
> He emphasized the word ANYTHING. He claims
> I can ask you ANYTHING about the Beatles.
>
> Mr. Charlie's challenge is shown below along
> with a list of questions I wrote.
>
> Good luck and cheers!
>
Ian is not bound to any challenge *I* would make. Tho many of
these questions could easily be answered by many people here
(including myself). It's apparent you went and talked to YOUR FBI
friends to get this list. It's evident because you don't know
squat about the Beatles, human interaction, manners, or anything
else adults usually like to employ.
I say open the trivia quiz up to anyone. Yes, *I* said Ian could
answer anything, but I didn't consult him about it. I have no fear
that he can't, but he may elect to ignore you for the troll you
are. If he does, it has nothing to do with your challenge. Simple
logic dictates since I made the statement he is not bound to do
anything (tho I hope he will).
Bottim line: If you're going to bull your way into a community you
should really lurk a bit more so you have some dim clue as to who
you're talking to. Obviously you didn't bother in your haste to
show your unworthiness and to hawk your piece of crud.
Man, you must have had people working non-stop the last 24 hours to
research all these questions. Impressive, yet facile. Flaccid, in
fact, something no doubt you're VERY familiar with.
Hey, so you can see your impotent (!) attempt to contact ISP's and
make trouble for people failed utterly. What a joke you are! A
lying, deceitful, ineffective fool who proves himself to have great
depths of fooldom every post. Yeah, we're all impressed with you,
man.
Camatelfoo
>
>1. Name the well-known musician who designed an early
>Beatles guitar.
I'll name him Randall Jones. Has a nicer ring than Chet Atkins
Name the musician plus the make & model
>of the guitar in question.
Gretsch Country Gentlemen guitar? A '62, I believe.
>
>2. Who played lead guitar on Another Girl? (cite source)
McCartney. McCartney told me and another girl at a party in the Hamptons. (He
also said it meant that the credits for the song should be changed to include
his name)
>
>3. Name the only song written by Lennon & Harrison.
Cry 4 A Shadow........sniff.
>
>4. Why was the song in Question # 3 given its title?
Wasn't it a parody of sorts of a 'Shadow's' number?
>
>5. What song is No Reply patterned after?
(get it?)
>
>6. Which of the Beatles is known for odd meters?
Lennon
>
>7. What make & model electric guitar did George use to
>record most of the cuts on Beatles 65? (cite source)
Who cares?
>
>8. What make & model guitar was used to play the solo
>in Nowhere Man? (cite source)
Son of who cares.
>
>9. What popular guitarist helped Paul learn blues
>licks and blues history? (cite source)
Didn't Hendrix lick his guitar all the time?
>
>10. What were Paul's original lyrics to Yesterday?
>(cite source)
Scrambled eggs. Source: the chickens ass.
>
>11. What was the make & model guitar used by George to
>play his part in Til There was You? (cite source)
Who cares III
>
>12. What was the make & model guitar used by George to
>play his part in I've Just Seen a Face? (cite source)
Beneathe the planet of who cares.
>
>13. Who plays the lead guitar break (solo) in Day Tripper?
>(cite source)
John Lennon Source: just a guess.
>
>14. What guitarist inspired John to buy his first
>Rickenbacker? (cite source)
Rick N. Backer.
>
>15. What lyric by what famous singer inspired John to
>think of the song title to Please Please Me?
>(cite a source)
'Please lend your little ear to my pleas' from the likes of Bing. (Crosby not
Chandler)
>
>16. What famous artist inspired John to write You've
>Got to Hide Your Love Away? (cite a source)
Dylan. Source Perrier
>
>17. Name the country music recording artist and the
>name of the album, by same artist, that George
>Harrison wrote liner notes for back in the mid-Sixties.
Chet Atkins Picks on The Beatles.
Greasy Feast
bit you just evidently can't control yourself and continue to break every rule
as regards trolls. Pardon my French, but please just shut the f**K up!
In replying ALL THE TIME to EVERY POST you have become a troll as well.
Ehtue
>>5. What song is No Reply patterned after?
>
>
>
LOL
Camatelfoo
Tell you what, you make it clear who the hell you're talking to, and you just
may get the results you want. Oh yeah, and your french sucks...
Salvadorwriter
>From: camat...@aol.com (Camatelfoo)
>Date: 6/25/03 1:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <20030625013935...@mb-m15.aol.com>
Hey, I'm impressed!! Particularly with # 17. I thought no one
would have the answer. Camatelfoo, you're more of an
expert than Ian.
# 4 isn't the answer I was looking for. It's another difficult one.
But it's open to discussion. The others have definite answers.
It was nice of you to help Ian out, but there are still
plenty of unanswered questions.
Salvador
Camatelfoo
>just
>>may get the results you want. Oh yeah, and your french sucks...
>>
>
>
>ignored
>gentler suggestions to avoid him.
Tell ya what, Trish, you forward all the troll threads to my email account
while I'm away and then I'll be up to date on who to respond to when I get
back. That, or killfile the jerk. I've walked into the middle of a cheezy movie
and am not yet up to speed on the plot.
Nice to see you, too.
Mister Charlie
"AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs" <AllYourBaseAreB...@newsguy.com>
wrote in message news:bdc63...@drn.newsguy.com...
> On 25 Jun 2003 07:44:22 GMT, in article
> <20030625034422...@mb-m15.aol.com>, camat...@aol.com
stated:
people ignored
> gentler suggestions to avoid him.
As has been proven in the past with other uber-trolls, silence doesn't
work. This person has nothing more than a sick compulsion to be an
asshole.
That said, I do realize I fed the troll -way- too much yesterday and was
bad bad bad.
So I shall pull back and refrain until such time I feel like smacking
him around again.
But truly, the only way a jerk-off like this will leave is when he's
good and ready. Neither mocking, replying, playing along with or
ignoring will have any effect. SO one may as well have fun with him.
And Grease? Take a chill pill man.
>
paramucho
<smoker...@myway.com> wrote:
>
>That said, I do realize I fed the troll -way- too much yesterday and was
>bad bad bad.
>So I shall pull back and refrain until such time I feel like smacking
>him around again.
>
>But truly, the only way a jerk-off like this will leave is when he's
>good and ready. Neither mocking, replying, playing along with or
>ignoring will have any effect. SO one may as well have fun with him.
Mister Chuck as he lives and breathes.
--
Ian
Impressive If Haughty - Q Magazine
Greasy Feast
>And Grease? Take a chill pill man.
Thanks for the good advise, Charlie. I think that it would be wise for both
of us to do so.
I was/am just trying to help RMB maintain good Beatle-topic discussions.
Mister Charlie
"Greasy Feast" <greas...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030625121339...@mb-m01.aol.com...
Hasn't happened yet, in spite of many best efforts. However your point
was well taken.
BlackMonk
"Camatelfoo" <camat...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030625013935...@mb-m15.aol.com...
> >8. What make & model guitar was used to play the solo
> >in Nowhere Man? (cite source)
>
> Son of who cares.
> >
If you want to get technical, there is no solo in Nowhere Man. There is a
duet played by George and John, though.
Drizzt
Poor old Mister C has never quite grasped the concept of killfiles.
I've never seen anybody else on usenet make as many grandstanding
plonk announcements yet continue to engage in battle with the supposed
plonkee.
Admittedly this troll (Chewbop?) is pretty good though, he's still
getting attention because he knows the vanity and large ego of the
responders can't and won't allow them to stop bignoting themselves.
Camatelfoo
Unless Mister Chuck is now posting under Greasy Feast, you better look before
you speak...
Drizzt
> Unless Mister Chuck is now posting under Greasy Feast, you better look before
> you speak...
No, I agreed with Greasy Feast who was responding to Mister Chuckles
who can't restrain himself after posting grand proclamations involving
killfiles and promises that he won't ever respond to the troll(s)
again.
Sure enough, within the hour he's back at it.
"I find myself unable to stop spanking this lame wanker (far too
pleasurable), but I must. It would be nice to have a more peaceful
RMB, yet when confronted by obvious troublemakers like this sock
puppet it is tough (for me anyway) to keep MY big mouth shut".
The Hon. Mr Charlie
Mister Charlie
> news:<20030625021543...@mb-m07.aol.com>...
> >> Could you just stop replying to the troll? For someone who has
been around
> >a
> >> bit you just evidently can't control yourself and continue to break
every
> >rule
> >> as regards trolls. Pardon my French, but please just shut the f**K
up!
> >
> >> In replying ALL THE TIME to EVERY POST you have become a troll as
well.
> >
> >Poor old Mister C has never quite grasped the concept of killfiles.
> >I've never seen anybody else on usenet make as many grandstanding
> >plonk announcements yet continue to engage in battle with the
supposed
> >plonkee.
Shows how green you are.
> >Admittedly this troll (Chewbop?) is pretty good though, he's still
> >getting attention because he knows the vanity and large ego of the
> >responders can't and won't allow them to stop bignoting themselves.
>
> Unless Mister Chuck is now posting under Greasy Feast, you better look
before
> you speak...
Sounds like poison again. Has a hard-on for me, why I don't know. But
he's proven himself to be as useless a flap of skin as Sal so he also
resides happily in the killfile.
>
>
>
paramucho
Ah, the charm, the savoir faire...
Gidget, I think we've found your man!
Mister Charlie
that hard-on you have for me has a reason behind it.
Well, sorry, I cannot return the love.
But please, go out and get some fresh air and excercise, and quit thinking
these unhealthy thoughts.
Wanker.
(AND A HUGE apology to poisoned rose. Of course, like the boy crying wolf and
all...but since I saw no attribution I assumed, and I was wrong.)
Mister Charlie
That's right. Hon. as in honest. I was being honest at the risk of trolls
like you using it against me. No wonder very few people are forthcoming about
their own foibles around here.
Mister Charlie
I assumed and I was wrong.
It was some other schizo.
paramucho
wrote:
>Sorry.
>
>I assumed and I was wrong.
>
>It was some other schizo.
How many of you schizos are there here anyway?
Greasy Feast
>Sorry.
Someone in their post said they *thought* you were me. Because they're were
joking, and wrong doesn't make me a schizo... whatever the hell that is. I
simply asked you to stop responding to trolls.
Mister Charlie
No, Grease, I said your point was well taken. I was referring to drzzt
or whoever that is.
I did overfeed the troll last night. You were correct.