Thinking of moving Down Under?
don (Calgary)
been there for a couple of months now and has kept in touch,
occasionally busting my chops about our cold spell.
Well today he passed along a bit of a joke about their weather.
I got a chuckle out of it. Maybe you will too.
Subject: : DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new
Home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows
How to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched
The sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home. I love it here.
September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem
Though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
Sun-worshipper.
September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
Today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another
Scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
People get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy
though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I
Expected.
October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree
Burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb
thing
To do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car
Before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car
After work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping
bag
And stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and
cat
Shit. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fuckin'
blow
Dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink
And the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he
needs
To order parts from fuckin' Perth ....
October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still
Haven't arrived for the fuckin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the
Pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go
Inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets
The temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it
Feel about 30. Stupid repairman.
November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to fuckin' throttle him. Fuckin' heat! By the time I get to
Work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking
Fuckin wet and I smell like baked cat!
November 9 Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat
On the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my fuckin'
Arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the
backs
Of my legs and my fuckin' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair,
Fried arse and baked cat!
November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a fuckin' recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fuckin' sunny! It's been too hot
To do anything for two fuckin' months and the weatherman says it might
Really warm up next week.
November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fuckin' place? Water
Restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry
Up and blow into the fuckin' pool. The only things that thrive in this
Hell-hole are the fuckin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for
Fear of swallowing half a dozen of the fuckers!
November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner's gone in my car.. The repair man came to fix
It and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I had to spend the $2,500
Mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid
Fucker. Fuckin' Karratha! What kind of sick, demented fuckin' idiot
Would want to live here!
December 1 -
WHAT!!!!
The first day of Summer!!!!
You are fuckin' kidding!
Road Glidin' Don
Heh, heh, heh. Just what guys living where we do need to hear right
now!
One thing about cold is you can at least dress warmer until you negate
it.
Gaidheal
> October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
> People get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy
> though.
> November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
> Now the air conditioner's gone in my car..
The whole story sounds like an exaggeration to me. None of my pets
have died from the heat and I haven't assaulted anybody.
It gets up to 38 C every day from the end of May until the middle of
Septermber around here, and I've seen it get up to 44 C for about a
week, but that's almost a record temperature.
I looked up Karratha on Wikipedia and the article said that the
average rainfall was less than 11 inches, so that makes it almost a
desert, just like around here, so I don't see how it could be all that
humid.
Everybody around here has a evaporative swamp cooler, because that
works just fine up to about 40 degrees in the low humidity.
When it gets up around 40 C, it's definitely no fun riding a
motorcycle, the blast of hot air feels like I opened an oven door, so
I arrange my rides so I will be back home before the high temperatures
in the early afternoon.
The clutch on my SUV's A/C compressor burned up last summer, so I mail-
ordered a new compressor. It arrived by UPS the very next day and I
installed it myself and was driving around enjoying the cool air.
TOG@Toil
> On Dec 16, 8:31 pm, "don (Calgary)" <hd.f...@telus.net> wrote:
>
> > October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
> > People get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy
> > though.
> > November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
> > Now the air conditioner's gone in my car..
>
> The whole story sounds like an exaggeration to me.
That's because you're an idiot.
TOG@Toil
My feeling entirely. Of course, if you're too hot, a cold beer or
three helps.
Jack Hunt
wrote:
>The clutch on my SUV's A/C compressor burned up last summer, so I mail-
>ordered a new compressor. It arrived by UPS the very next day and I
>installed it myself and was driving around enjoying the cool air.
Sure you did. Just happened to have the Freon reclamation tools lying around,
did you?
--
Jack
don (Calgary)
S'mee
> On Wed, 16 Dec 2009 21:36:02 -0800 (PST), Gaidheal <breoganmacbr...@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
> >The clutch on my SUV's A/C compressor burned up last summer, so I mail-
> >ordered a new compressor. It arrived by UPS the very next day and I
> >installed it myself and was driving around enjoying the cool air.
>
> Sure you did. Just happened to have the Freon reclamation tools lying around,
> did you?
>
REAL MEN don't reclaim freon...they give the freon it's freedom. Well,
that's how those of use doing residential HVAC work in the late 70's
and 80's did it. Fuck the ozone hole...bastards cant prove it hasn't
been there all along AND it's size and shape varies with the earths
magnetic field last I'd read, again making liars out of fucktards
saying mankind made that hole so FUCK the anti freon crowd and let's
burn all the oil.
S'mee
It did? WOW! I mean it sounded like a true story dressed up to sound
like a joke.
S'mee
Hey goat raper you are a lying sack of shit. Now do I tell the warden
you are abusing your internet privliges in the prison library or
should I just let your IT buddy tell him?
Well con?
S'mee
lol Is that all? LOL...sounds like a cool july day in Kuwait to me,
now arabia....fuck me that place gets HOT!
Vito
news:l3cki599b65bcke5s...@4ax.com...
Yes, and I enjoyed it. Thank you.
MikeWhy
Piffle. Ever since the kids moved out, I had been shovelling the white shit
myself. It doesn't even have to be balmy, just warm enough for the
precipitation to drain away by itself. But I do prefer balmy with an onshore
breeze. The trick is to buy the mansion closer to the water.
don (Calgary)
I got to thinking about how unique and inventive the author was to use
_exaggeration_ in humour!
He or she might have created a new genre.
don (Calgary)
Well it was a balmy day in Calgary today. To hell with all that hot
crap. I laugh at snow.
Jack Hunt
wrote:
>sounds like a cool july day in Kuwait to me,
>now arabia....that place gets HOT!
I spent six weeks there once in July and August. It's a dry heat. Downtown
Riyadh. The whole place shuts down during the day and then the stores stay open
all night.
--
Jack
S'mee
> On Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:37:13 -0800 (PST), "S'mee" <stevenkei...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> >sounds like a cool july day in Kuwait to me,
> >now arabia....that place gets HOT!
>
> I spent six weeks there once in July and August. It's a dry heat. Downtown
> Riyadh. The whole place shuts down during the day and then the stores stay open
> all night.
Now do ALL of july, august, sept...in a tent. No AC. 100mi from
anything. No keep a deep freeze FULL of 1l bottles of Nisah water, hot
enough that water will not freeze even at the coldest setting. Now the
HYPER cool thing is if you take one of those bottles of water out and
carefully open it, you wont be able to drink it. Why you ask? Because
the water turns to slush if not instantly then 'just' slow enough to
watch the slush form...the water wont come out then.
Hell the monitor lizards out there not only walk on tippy toe to avoid
burning their widdle talons, the little fuckers run at a nominal
25-30mph, yes I've paced them and yes they move that fast. All to
avoid leaving their feet on the sand any longer than needed.
Jack Hunt
wrote:
>Now do ALL of july, august, sept...in a tent. No AC. 100mi from
>anything. No keep a deep freeze FULL of 1l bottles of Nisah water, hot
>enough that water will not freeze even at the coldest setting. Now the
>HYPER cool thing is if you take one of those bottles of water out and
>carefully open it, you wont be able to drink it. Why you ask? Because
>the water turns to slush if not instantly then 'just' slow enough to
>watch the slush form...the water wont come out then.
We had to rough it. The AF leased the entire AlYamamah hotel. We had room
service, laundry service, movies in the lobby, Wadi Nahas water floating in ice
buckets, and an Olympic size pool. All the concrete around the pool was covered
in faux grass carpet. We called it the Green Beach. There was a cappuccino
bar, a snack bar where they'd fix anything you want, right on the spot. It was
rough, I tell ya. The laundry service had a bad habit of fastening room tags to
the underwear with staples. That was brutal. I don't see how I survived.
>Hell the monitor lizards out there not only walk on tippy toe to avoid
>burning their widdle talons, the little fuckers run at a nominal
>25-30mph, yes I've paced them and yes they move that fast. All to
>avoid leaving their feet on the sand any longer than needed.
I usually kept my feet 36,000 feet above the sand in an AWACS. I'd fly a 12
hour mission which usually lasted about 14 hours total, then off 24 hours and
fly again.
The king died while I was there. We were on the tarmac at Riyadh International
when a C-141 landed. They dropped the tailgate and a big armored limo rolled
out. Then two more. About that time AF-1 landed and Vice President George H.W.
Bush got out, got in one of the limos, and went to the funeral. That tells you
how long ago it was.
--
Jack
S'mee
> On Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:51:33 -0800 (PST), "S'mee" <stevenkei...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Now do ALL of july, august, sept...in a tent. No AC. 100mi from
> >anything. No keep a deep freeze FULL of 1l bottles of Nisah water, hot
> >enough that water will not freeze even at the coldest setting. Now the
> >HYPER cool thing is if you take one of those bottles of water out and
> >carefully open it, you wont be able to drink it. Why you ask? Because
> >the water turns to slush if not instantly then 'just' slow enough to
> >watch the slush form...the water wont come out then.
>
> We had to rough it. The AF leased the entire AlYamamah hotel. We had room
> service, laundry service, movies in the lobby, Wadi Nahas water floating in ice
> buckets, and an Olympic size pool. All the concrete around the pool was covered
> in faux grass carpet. We called it the Green Beach. There was a cappuccino
> bar, a snack bar where they'd fix anything you want, right on the spot. It was
> rough, I tell ya. The laundry service had a bad habit of fastening room tags to
> the underwear with staples. That was brutal. I don't see how I survived.
>
> >Hell the monitor lizards out there not only walk on tippy toe to avoid
> >burning their widdle talons, the little fuckers run at a nominal
> >25-30mph, yes I've paced them and yes they move that fast. All to
> >avoid leaving their feet on the sand any longer than needed.
>
> I usually kept my feet 36,000 feet above the sand in an AWACS. I'd fly a 12
> hour mission which usually lasted about 14 hours total, then off 24 hours and
> fly again.
that sucks...
> The king died while I was there. We were on the tarmac at Riyadh International
> when a C-141 landed. They dropped the tailgate and a big armored limo rolled
> out. Then two more. About that time AF-1 landed and Vice President George H.W.
> Bush got out, got in one of the limos, and went to the funeral. That tells you
> how long ago it was.
yipee... I did stay at Khobar Towers before coming back(before some
looney blew it up) Those were some decent rooms, better than having a
sha'mahl take a tent off of you. 8^) There is only one flat place on
the earth...it's not the empty quarter, it's not the sahara or the
african plains. Nope Kansas as the ONLY flat spot on the planet.