Sister's Daughter
Steve Paul
She was 40.
Being just 10 years older than her, we were more like brother and sister,
than uncle and neice. But we had been estranged for some time.
She was a troubled kid, and got addicted to crack at a young age. Along the
way, she married, lost her kids, and then her family. We all tried for a
long time to help her get past her addictions, but eventually it became
obvious that we were only enabling her to continue to deceive herself and
postpone the inevitable need for professional guidance and self help. She
was never going to get the help she needed from us.
We still don't have the full truth of what killed her, but she was wearing a
pain patch while preparing for chemotherapy for limphoma that had spread to
one of her lungs. She arrived at the hospital by ambulance early Sunday
morning. She was brain dead on arrival. The first message we got from her
distraught husband, was that she had overdosed. So I think we all know what
really happened.
An autopsy is being performed today, and then the body is off for embalming
tomorrow.
It's so sad I can bearly stand it. She was really a good soul. It was hard
to turn her out those many years ago now, and it's even harder to say
goodbye forever. I did so want for her to get her shit together, get her
family back, and find the strength to remain free from the burden of her
afflictions, addictions, and attachments to the things of this world. All
along she knew what she wanted out of life, she just never found the inner
strength to stay true to her dreams, and make it happen.
Her mother has been living in England for a number of years now, and had
recently moved to a new apartment. We had a hard time getting in touch with
her. My brother in California finally got through, and since she has no
money, he's paying her airfare (he's the best). Sometime over the next few
days, we will have a private viewing of the body, and then she will be
cremated. There's not a lot of money in the family, and so with my brother
taking care of airfare for himself and my sister, my mother and I are
covering the costs of the embalming and cremation.
Having not seen the body yet, the worst of the grief, is yet to come, and I
know I'm gonna lose it when my sister falls to her knees, weeping.
When this is over, I'll be needing a drink.
Thanks for indulging me and letting me share my grief with you all. It helps
me get my feelings straightened out.
--
Steve Paul
EKIII, BS284
'93 FXRS-C "Mule"
No salt, No plans
LarryInEastTn
news:zPSdnV-Pj9NzcmzX...@giganews.com...
>
> When this is over, I'll be needing a drink.
> Thanks for indulging me and letting me share my grief with you all. It
> helps me get my feelings straightened out.
> --
> Steve Paul
> EKIII, BS284
So sorry to hear this. You'll be drinking for free here. To your Niece,
may she find peace.<clink>
--
Larry AH#136
Owner, rmh VB&G
dual45s
Sorry for your loss. May she finally find peace.
--
Wayne
AH 52
The road goes on forever
Dean
Sorry for your loss Steve. I know the pain and sense of loss. One of
my sons died from a cocaine overdose in '94. He managed to survive
four years in the Marine Corps, with service at the Marine barracks in
Beirut, only to come home and die from that shit. Leaving a wife and
baby behind.
Dean
EKIII
'06FLHR
"My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!"
- Harry Truman
JMark
Very sorry for your loss and the grief you must bear. You can make the
bonds that give you strength count.
"It is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know
what part of ourselves to give...or more often than not, the part we
have to give...is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and
should know who elude us...but we can still love them." - closing lines
to "And a River Runs Through It".
--
JMark
Spunky the Tuna
> My sister's daughter passed away this Sunday.
> She was 40.
Addiction is a terrible thing. I'm deeply sorry for your loss and for
your sister's. I hope you can both find some peace.
--
Spunky the Tuna
Bluffalo Bob
Sorry to hear for your loss. I lost my older brother five years ago to
an overdose of painkillers. Like your neice, he struggled for most of
his life.
My only hope is that he is finally at peace. I wish the same for your
neice, and wish the best for your family.
spacecriter (Bill C)
Steve Paul wrote:
> My sister's daughter passed away this Sunday.
<snip>
> It's so sad I can bearly stand it. She was really a good soul. It was
> hard to turn her out those many years ago now, and it's even harder
> to say goodbye forever.
<and snip some more>
> Having not seen the body yet, the worst of the grief, is yet to come,
> and I know I'm gonna lose it when my sister falls to her knees,
> weeping.
I heard something rather profound recently.
"We have to lose those close to us. How else would we know how important
they were."
I hope I got that quote right. I think it was from a movie, but it really
doesn't matter, because it struck a note with me.
Your niece was obviously important to you, as you can still see the
beautiful person within in spite of any previous mis-steps.
>
> When this is over, I'll be needing a drink.
>
> Thanks for indulging me and letting me share my grief with you all.
> It helps me get my feelings straightened out.
I'll drink with you. In fact, ignore that new hillbilly owner, the next
couple rounds are on me.
To your niece <clink>
--
Bill C. "I am NOT lost... I'm *exploring*"
Be...@anywhere.invalid
>
> My sister's daughter passed away this Sunday.
> She was 40.
My condolences to you and all that loved her.
Hopefully she has found peace.
--
(^oo^) AH#120
(_0_)
BEAR
Rand McNally
Peace.
--
Rand McNally BS#263
tater
Sad deal. And what a waste. Addiction is so difficult for those struggling
with it to break away from. The toll it takes on friends and family trying
to
to intervene is substantial. My prayers go out for your niece and your
family. You can take comfort in knowing she's at peace.
t
Aitch
> My sister's daughter passed away this Sunday.
> She was 40.
> Being just 10 years older than her, we were more like brother and sister,
> than uncle and neice.
My sincere condolences Steve.
Aitch
Dave
My condolences to you and all that loved her.
Dave
Taxmanhog
> She was 40.
I can identify with your pain, it's tough when folks so close to you neglect
themselves, wasting away and refusing to lift themselves, granted there is
not much we can do with cancer, but she had opportunit�s to aside from that.
Truely a great loss to the entire family.
Sorry for your loss Steve!
Steve Paul
Thanks for all the replies, condolences, and words of kindness.
The wake is tomorrow. All but one member of the immediate family will be
there.
I'm feeling particularly sad today as the day approaches. I'm off now to
have breakfast with the family.
I carry your thoughts with me.
Ride safe.
-Steve
BS#284
Curly LaJolla
<smarsh...@gmail.com> wrote:
>My sister's daughter passed away this Sunday.
>She was 40.
Extremely sorry to hear that, I know it hurts. I lost a brother in
law to heroin ten or twelve years ago. He was a great guy, when he
was sober.
To the two of them <clink>
--
Curly LaJolla AH#117 BS#107
2004 FLHTPI Cop Bike
The party never ends!
What me worry?
then wrote:
>My sister's daughter passed away this Sunday.
>She was 40.
Snip<<<
>When this is over, I'll be needing a drink.
>
>Thanks for indulging me and letting me share my grief with you all. It helps
>me get my feelings straightened out.
My ex died last week from what appears to be a drug overdose. I kinda
know what you are feeling. I can't imagine what my grandchildren are
feeling!
Drinks on me.
danl BS#280
x...@xxx.com
Imagine that they need a giant hug from you. Whatever happened in the
past won't change the fact that they are your family. If nothing else a
death in the family is a perfect time to share your thoughts.
Dana Taramina
>My sister's daughter passed away this Sunday.
>She was 40.
I don't have any words. I hope you all find peace.
Dana
Bitch 16 Wench 22 BS 23 BOTY VI ret.
'05 FLHRSI "Belle"
'03 FLHTCUI
EZ
<smarsh...@gmail.com> wrote:
>Thanks for indulging me and letting me share my grief with you all. It helps
>me get my feelings straightened out.
Damn sorry about all of it. Hope today finds you feeling a bit better.
--
_____ _____
| ____| |__ / Larry from St. Louis, MO
| _| / / SENS, MAMBM, MISFIT, TOMKAT, EKIII
| |___ / /_ BS #269 DOF #(I forget)
|_____| /____| 105th Anniversary Edition Ultra
45...@mydaja.com
<smarsh...@gmail.com> wrote:
RIP. Sorry for your loss.
Steve Paul
Thanks.
We had a small gathering at the funeral home, and some of us did some poetry
and Bible readings. Everyone exchanged hugs, wept a lot, and spent the day
in melancholy. After the service we went back to my mom's and did some group
therapeutic yard work. Everyone is now back at their respective homes around
the globe, and we are feeling a little closer as a family, even with the
geographic distances involved.
I've come to realize that when someone you love is suffering, you hang onto
hope that they will get well and recover, so that the suffering will end.
Along with that hope, is the grief you feel for their suffering. When they
die, the hope of recovery dies with them. And with the end of that hope,
only grief remains. But the grief is no longer for their suffering. It is no
longer about them. It's about you, and yours. About how you've mistreated
others, or failed a relationship.
And so it brings with it, opportunity.