Description:
Jokes and the like. May be somewhat offensive.
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Entertainment at the Senior Center
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It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, “Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.”... more »
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I Like Big Macs (parody)
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(to the tune of "I Like Big Butts" by Sir Mix-A-Lot)
I like Big Macs and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
You go to McDonalds looking slender
You're not not gonna stay that way forever
You get fat
And that's just tough
Now you grow a bigger gut
Under the shirt you're wearing
And everyone is just staring... more »
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Cat Shirt
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Actually, our cat reacted about the same way when we had to travel far away and had to put a little harness on him.
Video => <[link]>
-- Yo!
Cylle
Get MyAwesomeJokes in your mailbox once a week => [link]
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Funny English Notices Around the World
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Here are some signs and notices written in (kind of) English that were discovered throughout the world.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.... more »
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The Brown Bag
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A salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Navajo man climbs in.
During their small talk, the Navajo man glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them.
“If you’re wondering what’s in the bag,” offers the salesman, “it’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.”... more »
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Very Hungry
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This dog obviously doesn't miss an opportunity to eat...
Picture => <[link]>
-- Yo!
Cylle
Get MyAwesomeJokes in your mailbox once a week => [link]
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Quotes - Teen
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My kids idea of a hard life is to live in a house with only one phone. (George Foreman)
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. (Dave Barry)
(<[link]>)
-- Yo!
Cylle
Get MyAwesomeJokes in your mailbox once a week => [link]... more »
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An Offer You Cannot Refuse
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.”... more »
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Armed Forces Day Puns
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...
Weird weapons: Gas Tank, Septic Tank, Think Tank, Water Tank.
Shake Spear, Britinny Spears.
Turn and Tern Pike.
Water Gun.
Sub Marines.
Ambu-Lance, Lance Armstrong.
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