Canonical List Of Language Humor 4/5
The Flameboyant One
-= tongue twisters =-= 6 =---------------------------------------------------
From The 1994 Old Farmer's Almanac, Anecdotes and Pleasantries, p 238:
Ten Tantalizing Tongue Twisters of Tenuous Taste
1. The seething sea ceaseth and thus the seething sea sufficeth us
2. Betty Botter bought a bit of butter, "But," she said, "This butter's bitter.
If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter. But a bit of better
butter will make my batter better." So Betty Botter bought a bit of better
butter, and it made her batter better.
3. Three gray geese in the gree grass grazing: Gray were the Geese and green was
the grazing.
4. Moses supposes his toeses are rosese, but Moses supposes erroneously. For
Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses, as Moses Supposes his toeses to be.
5. The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick. (Most difficult one-liner,
according to Guinness)
6. Iqaqa laziqikaqika kwaze kwaqhawaka uqhoqhoqha. (Translated from Xhosa, a
South African dialect, it means: The skunk rolled down and ruptured its
larynx."
7. She sells seashells bu the seashore, etc., etc.
8. Amidst the mists and coldests frosts, with barest wrists and stoutest boasts,
he thrusts his fist against the post, and still insists he sees the ghosts.
9. Theophilus Thistle, the thistle-sifter, sifted a sieve of unsifted thistles.
If Theophilus Thistle, the thistle-sifter, sifted a sieve of unsifted
thistles, where is the sieve of unsifted thistles Theophilus Thistle, the
thistle-sifter, sifted?
10. Truly Rural.
Preshrunk shirt.
Peggy Babcock
Sixty-six sick chicks.
and my favorites:
1. Toy Boat.
2. One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.
-= tongue twisters =-= 7 =---------------------------------------------------
I split a sheet, a sheet I split, upon a splitted sheet I sit!
-= tongue twisters =-= 8 =---------------------------------------------------
In Greek:
Mia' pa'pia ma pia' pa'pia, mia pa'pia me papia'
(A duck, but what kind of duck, a duck with ducklings)
-= tongue twisters =-= 9 =---------------------------------------------------
In Swiss German:
Der Pabscht het sis Schpeckbschteck z'schbot bschtellt.
(The pope has ordered his beacon-cutlery too late.)
-= tongue twisters =-= 10 =---------------------------------------------------
In German:
Fischer Fritz fischt frischer Fisch
================================================================================
== VARIOUS LANGUAGE EXPRESSIONS ================================================
-= various language expressions =-= 1 =--------------------------------------
About as sharp as a sack full of wet mice. (Foghorn again)
As affectionate as a tea bag. (once said by a friend about a goldfish)
As busy as a one-legged cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond.
As funny as a fart in an elevator.
As funny as a fart in a spacesuit.
As funny as a rubber crutch in a polio ward.
As funny as a boil in your ass.
As much chance as a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest!
As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
As popular as a rattlesnake in a lucky dip.
As scared as a black man at a white woman's funeral!
As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
As welcome as a pork chop at a bar mitzvah.
Blinder than a bat.
Busier than a one-eyed cat watching nine mouseholes.
Busier than a set of jumper cables at a Mexican wedding.
Busier than one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
Champagne taste on a beer budget.
Couldn't hit the broadside of a barn from the inside, with a guided missile,
given three tries.
Couldn't hit the side of a barn if he was shooting from the inside.
Crazy like a fox.
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
Don't take any wooden nickels.
Dumber than a post.
Excited as a blind dog in a meathouse.
Faster than greased lightning.
Four days older than water.
Fuck it, like two peas in a bucket.
Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the seasick crocodile.
Got the personality of a used condom.
Greatest thing since sliced bread.
Hang by your thumbs.
Hangs around like a fart in a phone booth. - Barry Humphries
Happier than a puppy with two peckers.
Happy as a fly on shit.
Happy as a hog in mud.
Happy as a pig in shit.
Harder than standing in a hammock.
Hopping around like a fart in a skillet.
Horny as a three-peckered billy goat.
How do you like them apples?
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. (When a man's debating with
his friends over a girl they don't find attractive, but he does)
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
I'll be on you like stink on shit.
I'll bet you a hog's turd to my daughter and you can hold 3 of my teeth.
I'll drop you like a bad habit.
I'll drop you like a dirty shirt.
I'll fix your wagon!
I'll roll you out like wholesale carpet.
I'm gonna drop you like a three-foot putt.
If I shoved your brain up a gnat's ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar.
In more trouble than a one armed man with an itchy butt hangin' from a cliff.
Is the Pope Catholic?
It wouldn't pull a sick whore out of bed. (when something has no power)
It's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.
Let me bounce this off you.
Let's run it up the flagpole.
Looks like death sucking on a popsickle.
Lower than fish shit.
More fun than stomping the farts out of dead seagulls!
More nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
Nice kid, but he's got more nerve than a bum tooth.
Noisier than two skeletons screwing on a tin roof with a tin can for a condom.
Not quite the full shilling. (pre-decimal coin worth about 10 cents aust)
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Shakier'n puppy shittin' peach pits.
She's all over him like a cheap suit.
Slicker than owl shit on a china doorknob!
Slicker than snot on a glass doorknob.
Slicker than snot on a rock.
Slower than molasses in January.
Snores like a chainsaw in bucket of snot.
Sploched with purple moldy spots.
Stuck like shit on a wool blanket.
That boy couldn't hit a barn with an elephant.
That boy couldn't hit an elephant in the ass with a snow shovel.
That boy is slower than molasses running uphill in the winter time.
That boy's got a mouth like a cannon, always shootin' it off.
That Dog's busier than a centipede at a toe countin' contest.
That Dog's strictly G.I. - Gibberin' idiot, that is.
That's like throwing stones at a bear.
The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote "STINK, STANK,
STUNK!"
There's not enough people here to stomp out a grass fire.
There's so many ??? you can't chuck a brick without hurting one.
Uglier than a mud-fence after a rain storm.
Wandering about like a fart in a pair of trousers.
Whizzing around like a fart in a colander.
Yeah, well, the folks in Hell want ice water. (Response to anyone who says they
want something that they're not inclined to give.)
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.
You're a crooked jerky jocky.
You're a three decked sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.
You're as cuddly as a cactus.
You're so narrow-minded, you could look through a key-hole with both eyes.
it would look like a pea rolling down a four-lane highway.
You're so tight that if I shoved some coal up your butt it would come out later
as a diamond.
You are as sharp as a ball bearing...and as dense as one too.
Your heart is a dead tomato.
Your heart is an empty hole.
Your heart is filled with unwashed socks.
Your brain is full of spiders.
Your soul is an overflowing dung heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots.
-= various language expressions =-= 2 =--------------------------------------
Float Your Boatisms
Whatever...
blows your balloon
blows your nose
blows your skirt up
blows your whistle
bursts your bubble
charges your battery
chills your drink
chops your celery
chops your logs
cleans your clock
cleans your fish
cracks your nuts
creams your corn
creams your twinkie
crosses your "t"
dilates your pupils
dirties your diaper
dots your "i"
drains your sinuses
draws your blood
dyes your hair
fills your sails
fills your tires
fires your gun
fires your missile
flips you nickel
flips your flapjacks
floats your boat
fluffs your cat
fluffs your pillow
folds your clothes
frosts your cake
fuels your jet
greases your bearings
grills your meat
hits your homerun
jumpstarts your car
kickstarts your bike
licks your lollypop
licks your stamps
lightens your loafers
lights your candle
loosens your goose
makes your basket
mixes your milkshake
peels your banana
pees in your pants
pinkens your grapefruit
polishes your Pontiac
pops your popcorn
presses your buttons
pulls your lever
pulls your trigger
pumps your well
pushes your swing
puts a wiggle in your walk
revs your engines
ripens your mango
roasts your weenie
rocks your craddle
rolls your socks up and down
scratches your back
scrubs your tub
sharpens your pencil
shines your apple
shines your floors
shines your shoes
shines your silver
shits in your toilet
shoots your arrows
simmers your soup
sings your song
sinks your sub
skewers your shish-kabob
slaps your monkey
slices your fruit
smokes your turkey
spanks your monkey
spices your cake
spins your turbines
starches your collars
steams your dumplings
toasts your bread
trims your hedges
trims your mustache
tunes your piano
tunes your radio
turns you on
turns your crank
twists your knob
vacuums your rug
washes your windows
waters your garden
wedges your wood
whacks your weasel
writes your book
zips your fly
-= various language expressions =-= 3 =--------------------------------------
Acronyms And Colloquialisms
AFAIK : As Far As I Know
AISI : As I See It
ANFAWFOS : A Now For A Word From Our Sponsor
ASAP : As Soon As Possible
ASAFP : As Soon As Fucking Possible
ATLA : Another Three Letter Acronym
BF : Boyfriend
BNF : Big Name Fan
BOC : But Of Course
BOS/BRS : Big Orange (Red) Switch
BOT : Back On Topic
BRB : Be Right Back / Big Red Button
BSEG : Big Shit Eating Grin
BTW : By The Way
CE : Creative Editing
CIAO : as in goodbye (said 'Chow')
COTFLGOHAHA : Crawling On The Floor Laughing Guts Out And Having A Heart
Attack
CUL : Catch/See You Later
CUL8R : See You Later
CWYL : Chat With You Later
CYA : Cover Your Ass / See ya!
D&C : "Duck and Cover" - a popular 1950's song in dedication to the
atomic bomb (and its' possible attack)
DBA : Doing Business As
DBN : Doing Business, NOT
DILLIGAFF : Do I Look Like I Give a Flying Figment
DITUIHIBMSL? : Did I tell you I hate IBMs lately?
DITUILIBMSL? : Did I tell you I love IBMs lately?
DNPM : Darn Near Pissed Myself
DUCWIC : Do You See What I See
DYHWIH : Do You Hear What I Hear
DYSWIS : Do You See What I See
E2EG : Ear to Ear Grin
EOD : End Of Discussion
EOL : End Of Lecture
ESAD : Eat Shit And Die
ESAL : Eat Shit And Live
ETLA : Enhanced TLA
FIGMO : Fuck It, Got My Orders
FIIN : Fucked If I Know!
FITB : Fill In The Blank
FOAD : Fuck Off And Die
FOAF : Friend Of A Friend
FOAFOAG : Father Of A Friend Of A Girlfriend
FOAG : Father Of A Girlfriend
FOS : Full Of Shit
FOT : Full Of Tripe
FRZ : Fruitin' Religious Zealot
FTASB : Faster Than A Speeding Bullet
FTL : Faster Than Light
FUBAB : Fucked Up Beyond All Belief
FUBAR : Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition/Repair
FUMTU : Fucked Up More Than Usual
FWIW : For What It's Worth
FYA : For Your Action
FYI : For Your Information
GD&R : Grinning, Ducking and Running
GF : Girlfriend
GFU : General Fuck-Up.
GGN : Gotta Go Now
GIGO : Garbage In, Garbage Out
GIWIST : Gee I Wish I'd Said That
GRUIT : Get Real yoU Impudent Thing
GTFOOMF : Get The Fuck Out Of My Face
HAND : Have A Nice Day
HHO 1/2 K : Ha Ha Only Half Kidding
HHOK : Ha Ha Only Kidding
HOMPR : Hang On, Mobile Phones' Ringing
HTH : Hope this Helps!
HUA : Head Up Ass
HWUA : Head Way Up Ass
HWS(PEST) : Husband Wants Sex (Please Excuse Slow Typing)
IAC : In Any Case
IANAC : I Am Not A Crook
IANAL : I Am Not A Lawyer
IANALBIPOOTV : I Am Not A Lawyer, But I Play One On TV
IARTPFWTSIOWIM : I am repeating this parrot-fashion without the
slightest idea of what it means.
IBC : Inadequate, But Cute
IBM : Inadequate, but Marketable
ICBM : InterContinental Ballistic Missile
ICUR : I See You Are
IDGAD : I Don't Give A Damn
IDGAS : I Don't Give A Shit
IITYWTMWYKM : If I Tell You What This Means Will You Kiss Me?
ILI : I Like Ike
ILIWTPCT : I Love It When The Plan Comes Together.
ILSHIBAMF : I Laughed So Hard I Broke All My Furniture!
IMBO : In My Biased Opinion
IMHO : In My Humble/Honest Opinion
IMNSHO : In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO : In My Opinion
IMVHO : In My Very Humble Opinion
INPO : In No Particular Order
IOW : In Other Words
IROOC : I've Run Out Of Cigarettes
JANFU : Joint Army-Navy Fuckup. (When American troops get shelled by
their own side, in this case involving both the army and the
navy. Very popular in Viet-Nam. There are a whole slew of
these involving the various combinations of services.)
KISS : Keep It Simple Stupid
KMA : Kiss My Ass
L8R : Later
LAGNAF : Let's All Get Naked And F*ed
LLTA : Lots and Lots of Thunderous (or Thundering) Applause
LMFAO : Laughing My Fucking Ass Off
LMTFA : Leave Me The Fuck Alone
LOL : Lots Of Love / Laughing Out Loud
LTIP : Laughing Til I Puke
MCIBTY(SN) : My Computer Is Better Than Yours (So Nyerrr)
MFG : More Friendly Garbage!
MGD : My Gameboy died
MHDC(A) : My Hard Drive crashed (again)
MMIF : My Mouth Is Full
MSCEA : My Southern Comforts' Empty Again
MYOB : Mind Your Own Business
NBD : No Big Deal
NERD : National Establishment for Real Dorks
NFW : No Fucking Way!
NIMBY : Not in My Back Yard
NTL : Nevertheless / Nonetheless
OATUS : On A Totally Unrelated Subject
OAUS : On An Unrelated Subject
OIC : OH!, I See
ONNA : Oh No, Not Again
ONNTA : Oh No, Not This Again
OOSOOM : Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
OOTC : Obligatory On-Topic Comment
OTC : Over The Counter
OTOH : On The Other Hand
OTOOH : On The Other Other Hand
OTTOMH : Off the Top of My Head
OTTOMHAROO : Off the Top of My Head and Rolling Out of Bounds
OTW : On The Whole
OWTTE : Or Words To That Effect
PMETC : Pardon Me etc.
PMYMHMMFSWGAD : Pardon Me, You Must Have Mistaken Me For Someone Who Gives A
Damn.
POQ : Piss Off Quickly
POQADCB : Piss Off Quickly and Don't Come Back!
POV : Point Of View
PPP : Petty Pet Peeve
ROFL : Rolling On Floor Laughing!
ROFLASTC : Rolling On Floor Laughing And Scaring The Cat!
ROFLGO : Rolling On Floor Laughing Guts Out!
ROTBA : Reality On The Blink Again
ROFFNAR : Rolling On The Floor For No Apparent Reason
ROFLMAO : Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ascii Off
ROFLOL : Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud
ROFLOLVH : Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud Very Hard
ROFPML : Roll On Floor Pissing Myself Laughing.
ROFTTPOF : Rolling On The Floor Trying To Put Out Flames
RSN : Real Soon Now
RTFI : Read The Fucking Instructions
RTFM : Read The Fucking Manual
RTFMA : Read The Manual, Sir (from the military)
SAMFU : Self-Adjusting Military Fuck-Up
SAPFU : Surpassing All Previous Fuck-Ups
SBCN : Sitting Behind the Computer, Naked,
SH : Shit Happens
SICS : Sitting In Chair Snickering
SIIN : Stuffed If I Know!
SNAFU : Situation Normal, All Fucked Up
SO : Significant Other (See GF or BF)
SOI : Stunk On Ice
SOL : Shit Out of Luck
SOP : Standing Operational Proceedure
STIFF : "Stiff", said loudly.
SUSFU : Situation Unchanged, Still Fucked-Up
TANJ : "There Ain't No Justice" - Niven
TANSTAAFL : "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch" - Heinlein
TARFU : Things Are Really Fucked Up
TCB : Taking care of business
TCBY : Taking care of business, Ya'll
TCD : The Cat's Dead
TDD : The Dog's Dead
TGAL : Think Globally, Act Locally
TGIF : Thank God It's Friday
TIA : Thanks In Advance
TINALO : This is not a legal opinion
TINAR : This is not a recommendation
TINWIS : That Is Not What I Said
TLA : Three Letter Acronym
TNOTVS : There's Nothing On Television, so ...
TPS(S) : This Program Sucks (Severely)
TPTB : The Powers That Be
TRDMC : Tears Running Down My Cheeks.
TSOHF : Total Sense Of Humour Failure
TTBOMK : To The Best Of My Knowledge
TTFN : Ta Ta For Now
TTM : To The Moderator
TTYL : Talk To You Later
TTYRS : Talk To You Real Soon?
TUFD : The User File Died
UTC : Under The Counter
UTT : Under The Table
VETLA : Very Enhanced TLA
WAB?? : What, Another bill?
WAMKSAM : Why Are My Kitties (Kids) Staring At Me?
WCAGA : What Comes Around, Goes Around
WDYMBT : What Do (or Did) You Mean By That?
WIBAMU : Well I'll be a Monkey's Uncle
WMMOWS : Wash My Mouth Out With Soap!
WOFTAM : Waste Of Fucking Time And Money
WTF : What the Fuck
WTFO : What The Fuck, Over
WTFDYTYA : Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are
WTFWT : "What the Fuck Was That?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
WTH : What the Heck
WWS : Wife Wants Sex (please wait a tic)
WYLABOCTGWTR : Would You Like A Bowl Of Cream To Go With That Remark?
WYLASOMWTC : Would You Like A Saucer Of Milk With That Comment?
WYSIWYG : What You See is What You Get
WYTYSYDG : What You Thought You Saw, You Didn't Get
YAOTM : Yet Another Off-Topic Message
YHGASPL : You Have Got A Serious Problem, Lad!
YMMV : Your Mileage May Vary
YSS : You Suck Severely
YWSYLS : You Win Some, You Lose Some
-= various language expressions =-= 4 =--------------------------------------
>IMPROVED<
PCisms (Politically Correct Terminology)
amphibian American - frog
aquatically challenged - drowning
biologically challenged - dead
bovine control officers - Dallas Cowboys
Caucasian Culturally-Disadvantaged - white trash
certified astrological consultant - crackpot
certified crystal therapist - crackpot
certified past-life regression hypnotist - crackpot
chronologically gifted - old
chronologically gifted - old
codependent - finger-pointer
constructivist feminist psychotherapy - psychobabble
creatively re-dyed - stained
cyclically challenged - having PMS
differently organized - messy
differently-brained - stupid
economically disadvantaged - welfare bum
energy-efficient - off
environmentally correct human - dead
erectionally challenged - impotent
facially challenged - ugly
factually unencumbered - ignorant
fecally plenary - full of crap
female gender biased - prefers women who shave their legs
financially inept - po'
folically independent - bald
follower of Jimmy Swaggert - lost
genetically discriminating - racist
government employee - stupid
grammatically challenged - one who has difficulties with grammar or (by
extension) punctuation or spelling
gravitationally challenged - fat
horizontally challenged - thin
horizontally gifted - fat
in denial - unaware that forgetting something obviously proves it happened
in recovery - drunk/junkie
intellectually impaired - stupid
living impaired - dead
maintenance hole - man-hole
male gender biased - prefers men who shave their chests
mechanically challenged - broken down automobile
metabolicly challenged - dead
microslothicly Challenged - Windows user
monetarily challenged - poor
morally (ethically) challenged - a crook
morally handicapped - someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped
zone
motivationally challenged - lazy
musically delayed - tone deaf
nasally disadvantaged - really BIG nose
nasally gifted - runny nose
nasally gifted - large nose
nitpicklike - humor challenged
one who is PC - target practice
ontologically challenged - fictional or mythological
osmotically challenged - Thirsty
other aged - too old/young (dual purpose)
outdoor urban dwellers - homeless
people of height - too tall
person of region - redneck
persons living with entropy - dead
persons of large stature - NY Giants
petroleum transfer technician - gas station attendent
racially challenged - butt-white American
residentially flexible - homeless
rhythmically challenged - white boy
romantically challenged - not with somebody at the moment
rustically inclined - redneck
sanitation engineer - garbage man
sex care provider - prostitute
sexually focused chronologically gifted individual - dirty old man
socially challenged - geek, nerd, whatever...
spacially perplexed - drunk
suffering from a sex addiction (female)-- slut
suffering from a sex addiction (male)-- stud
target equity group - vocal minority
the absolute root of all evil known in the multidimensional infinity of reality
- white male
uniquely coordinated - clumsy
uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path - loser
verbally challenged - mute, dumb
vertically challenged - short
visually challenged - blind
================================================================================
== VARIOUS LANGUAGE HUMOR ======================================================
-= various language humor =-= 1 =--------------------------------------------
East Coast West Coast
---- ----- ---- -----
Absolutely not Maybe
Action item by Feb. 12 for Joe Joe's working on the problem
Bozo Subcontractor
Brawl Design review
Dictator Facilitator
Do it and do it now Can you sign up for this program
Do it right or you're fired I'm confident in you
Fuck off Trust me
Follow the spec Is there a spec?
Get out of my office Let's get a consensus on this one
He's a jerk He's not signed on to our plan
He's a subordinate He's a team player
I'll cover your ass Consider me your resource
Ignore him, he's new I'm bringing you up to speed
Local bar Offsite facility
Oh shit Thanks for bringing that to my attention
Overdesigned Robust
Punch his lights out Constructive confrontation
Shut the fuck up Thank you for your input
Shut up a minute Let me share this with you
That's totally incompetent Let me build on that point
Unemployed Consulting
Overbudget On schedule
Underbudget We haven't started yet
We finished early No translation
We're done How do you feel about that
What's wrong with you I certainly understand your feelings
Where is the spec? What is a spec?
Where's the schedule What is the game plan?
Yes Maybe
Your plan sucks Let me share my feelings on this plan
-= various language humor =-= 2 =--------------------------------------------
Language Translator Programs
-------- ---------- --------
Don't comprehend someone's thick accent? Here are some programs that you can
compile to help you understand them better using their pronunciation!
Swedish Chef Translator - 'swede.l' lex source to convert English to Swedish.
Jive Talk Translator - 'jive.l' lex source to convert English to jive talk.
Texan Drawl Translator - 'drawl.l' flex source to convert English to Texan.
Swedish Chef Translator
------- ---- ----------
%{
/* chef.x - convert English on stdin to Mock Swedish on stdout
*
* The WC definition matches any word character, and the NW definition matches
* any non-word character. Two start conditions are maintained: INW (in word)
* and NIW (not in word). The first rule passes TeX commands without change.
*
* HISTORY
* Apr 15, 1992; John Hagerman: Created.
*/
static int i_seen = 0;
%}
WC [A-Za-z']
NW [^A-Za-z']
%start INW NIW
%%
\\[^ \n]+ ECHO;
{NW} { BEGIN NIW; i_seen = 0; ECHO; }
"."$ { BEGIN NIW; i_seen = 0; printf(".\nBork Bork Bork!"); }
<NIW>"bork"/{NW} ECHO;
<NIW>"Bork"/{NW} ECHO;
"an" { BEGIN INW; printf("un"); }
"An" { BEGIN INW; printf("Un"); }
"au" { BEGIN INW; printf("oo"); }
"Au" { BEGIN INW; printf("Oo"); }
"a"/{WC} { BEGIN INW; printf("e"); }
"A"/{WC} { BEGIN INW; printf("E"); }
"en"/{NW} { BEGIN INW; printf("ee"); }
<INW>"ew" { BEGIN INW; printf("oo"); }
<INW>"e"/{NW} { BEGIN INW; printf("e-a"); }
<NIW>"e" { BEGIN INW; printf("i"); }
<NIW>"E" { BEGIN INW; printf("I"); }
<INW>"f" { BEGIN INW; printf("ff"); }
<INW>"ir" { BEGIN INW; printf("ur"); }
<INW>"i" { BEGIN INW; printf(i_seen++ ? "i" : "ee"); }
<INW>"ow" { BEGIN INW; printf("oo"); }
<NIW>"o" { BEGIN INW; printf("oo"); }
<NIW>"O" { BEGIN INW; printf("Oo"); }
<INW>"o" { BEGIN INW; printf("u"); }
"the" { BEGIN INW; printf("zee"); }
"The" { BEGIN INW; printf("Zee"); }
"th"/{NW} { BEGIN INW; printf("t"); }
<INW>"tion" { BEGIN INW; printf("shun"); }
<INW>"u" { BEGIN INW; printf("oo"); }
<INW>"U" { BEGIN INW; printf("Oo"); }
"v" { BEGIN INW; printf("f"); }
"V" { BEGIN INW; printf("F"); }
"w" { BEGIN INW; printf("v"); }
"W" { BEGIN INW; printf("V"); }
. { BEGIN INW; ECHO; }
Jive Talk Translator
---- ---- ----------
/*
* Compile via:
* lex jive.l
* cc -o jive lex.yy.c -ll
*
* jive < file > file.jive to jive a file
* jive < file | more to view a file as it is jived
*
*/
%e 2000
%p 5000
%n 1000
%k 500
%a 4000
%o 2000
BW [ ]
EW [ .,;!?]
%{
char buf[128];
%}
%%
file return(" stash");
send return(" t'row");
program return(" honky code");
atlas return(" Isaac");
dos return(" pokey thang" );
DOS return(" pokey thang" );
[Uu]"nix" return(" slow mo-fo");
UNIX return(" that slow mo-fo");
takes return(" snatch'd");
Mexican return(" wet-back");
mexican return(" wet-back");
Italian return(" greaser");
italian return(" greaser");
take return(" snatch");
"don't" return(" duzn't");
jive return(" JIBE");
fool return(" honkyfoo'");
modem return(" doodad");
"e the " return("e da damn ");
"a the " return("a da damn ");
"t the " return("t da damn ");
"d the " return("d da damn ");
" man " return(" home boy ");
" woman " return("mama");
" girl " return("gir-irl");
something return("sump'n");
" lie " return(" honky jibe ");
-o- return(" -on rebound- ");
-oo- return(" -check y'out latah-");
[a-b]". " { sprintf(buf, "%s Sheeeiit.",yytext); return(buf); }
[e-f]". " { sprintf(buf, "%s What it is, Mama!",yytext); return(buf); }
[i-j]". " { sprintf(buf, "%s Ya' know?",yytext); return(buf); }
[m-n]". " { sprintf(buf, "%s 'S coo', bro.",yytext); return(buf); }
[q-r]". " { sprintf(buf, "%s Ah be baaad...",yytext); return(buf); }
[u-v]". " { sprintf(buf, "%s Man!",yytext); return(buf); }
[y-z]". " { sprintf(buf, "%s Slap mah fro!",yytext); return(buf); }
Sure return("Sho' nuff");
sure return("sho' nuff");
\40+get return(" git");
"will have" return("gots'ta");
"will " return("gots'ta ");
"got to" return("gots'ta");
"I am" return("I be");
"am not" return("ain't");
"is not" return("ain't-a");
"are not" return("ain't");
" are your" return(" is yo'");
" are you" return(" you is");
\40+hat\40+ return(" fedora ");
\40+shoe return(" kicker");
haven't return("aint");
"have to" return("gots'ta");
have return("gots'");
" has" return(" gots'ta");
"come over" return("mosey on down");
\40+come\40+ return(" mosey on down ");
! return(". Right On! ");
buy return("steal");
\40+car\40+ return(" wheels ");
drive return("roll");
\40+eat\40+ return(" feed da bud ");
\40+black return(" brother ");
\40+negro return(" brother");
white return("honky");
\40+nigger return(" gentleman ");
nice return("supa' fine");
"person" return("sucka'");
\40+thing return(" wahtahmellun");
home return("plantation");
name return("dojigger");
\40+path return(" alley");
computer return("clunker");
or return("o'");
killed return("wasted");
president return("super-dude");
"prime minister" return("super honcho");
injured return("hosed");
government return("guv'ment");
knew return("knowed");
because return("a'cuz");
Because return("A'cuz");
your return("yo'");
Your return("Yo'");
four return("foe");
got return("gots");
aren't return("ain't");
young return("yung");
you return("ya'");
You return("You's");
first return("fust");
police return("honky pigs");
\40+string return(" chittlin'");
\40+read return(" eyeball");
write return("scribble");
th return("d");
Th return("D");
ing return("in'");
\40+a\40+ return(" some ");
\40+to\40+ return(" t'");
tion return("shun");
\40+almost\40+ return(" mos' ");
" from" return(" fum");
\40+because\40+ return(" cuz' ");
you're return("youse");
You're return("Youse");
alright return("coo'");
okay return("coo'");
"er " return("a' ");
known return("knode");
want return("wants'");
beat return("whup'");
exp return("'sp");
exs return("'s");
" exc" return(" 's");
" ex" return(" 'es");
like return("likes");
did return("dun did");
"kind of" return("kind'a");
women return("honky chicks");
" men " return(" dudes ");
" mens " return(" dudes ");
" man " return(" dude ");
woman return("honky chick");
dead return("wasted");
good return("baaaad");
"open " return("jimmey ");
"opened " return("jimmey'd ");
" very" return(" real");
"per" return("puh'");
"pera" return("puh'");
"oar" return("o'");
" can" return(" kin");
"just " return("plum ");
detroit return("Mo-town");
"western electric" return("da' cave");
" believe" return(" recon'");
[Ii]"ndianapolis" return("Nap-town");
" "[Jj]"ack" return(" Buckwheat");
" "[Bb]"ob " return(" Liva' Lips ");
" "[Pp]"hil " return(" dat fine soul ");
" "[Mm]"ark " return(" Liva' Lips ");
[Rr]obert return("Leroy");
[Ss]"andy" return("dat fine femahnaine ladee");
[Jj]"ohn " return("Raz'tus ");
" "[Pp]"aul" return(" Fuh'rina");
[Rr]"eagan" return("Kingfish");
[Dd]"avid" return("Issac");
[Rr]"onald" return("Rolo");
" "[Jj]"im " return(" Bo-Jangles ");
" "[Mm]"ary" return(" Snow Flake");
[Ll]"arry" return("Remus");
[Jj]"oe" return("Massa' ");
[Jj]"oseph" return("Massa' ");
mohammed return("liva' lips");
pontiff return("wiz'");
pope return("wiz'");
pravda return("dat commie rag");
broken return("bugger'd");
"strange " return("funky ");
"dance " return("boogy ");
" house" return(" crib");
ask return("ax'");
" so " return(" so's ");
head return("'haid");
boss return("main man");
wife return("mama");
people return("sucka's");
money return("bre'd");
[a-z]":" { *(yytext+1) = ',';
sprintf(buf, "%s dig dis:",yytext);
return(buf);
}
amateur return("begina'");
radio return("transista'");
" of " return(" uh ");
what return("whut");
does return("duz");
was return("wuz");
" were" return(" wuz");
"understand it" return("dig it");
understand return("dig it");
" my" return(" mah'");
" "[Ii]" " return(" ah' ");
"meta" return("meta-fuckin'");
"hair" return("fro");
"talk" return("rap");
"music" return("beat");
"basket" return("hoop");
"football" return("ball");
"friend" return("homey");
"school" return("farm");
"boss" return("Man");
"want to" return("wanna");
"wants to" return("be hankerin' aftah");
"well" return("sheeit");
"Well" return("Sheeit");
"big" return("big-ass");
"bad" return("bad-ass");
"small" return("little-ass");
"sort of" return("radical");
" is " return(" be ");
water return("booze");
book return("scribblin'");
magazine return("issue of GQ");
paper return("sheet");
" up " return(" down ");
" down " return("waaay down");
break return("boogie");
Hi return("'Sup, dude");
VAX return("pink Cadillac");
. return(yytext);
\n return("\n");
%%
main()
{
char *val;
for ( ; val=yylex() ; ) {
printf( "%s", val );
}
}
yywrap()
{
return 1;
}
Texan Drawl Translator
----- ----- ----------
%{
/* Title: English to Texan translator
* Author: Adam Hudd
* Date: 5 March 1991
* Version: 1.0
*
* Input: stdin
* Output: stdout
* compile: flex -iL drawl.l ; cc -O lex.yy.c -o drawl
*/
#include <stdio.h>
#include <ctype.h>
void changeCase();
%}
%%
(^|" ")"American" changeCase(" Amerkin");
(^|" ")"California" changeCase(" Caleyfornyuh");
(^|" ")"Dallas" changeCase(" Big D.");
(^|" ")"Fort Worth" changeCase(" Fowert Wurth");
(^|" ")"Houston" changeCase(" Useton");
(^|" ")"I don't know" changeCase(" I-O-no");
(^|" ")"I will"|" I'll" changeCase(" Ahl");
(^|" ")"I would" changeCase(" Ahd");
(^|" ")"I " changeCase(" Ah ");
(^|" ")"I'm "|" I am " changeCase(" Ahm ");
(^|" ")"I've "|" I have " changeCase(" Ahv ");
(^|" ")"Mexico" changeCase(" Messyco");
(^|" ")"San Antonio" changeCase(" Santone");
(^|" ")"TV"|" television"|" telly" changeCase(" tayvay");
(^|" ")"Texan" changeCase(" Texun");
(^|" ")"Texas" changeCase(" Teksus");
(^|" ")"a while " changeCase(" uhwahl ");
(^|" ")"a " changeCase(" uh ");
(^|" ")"about" changeCase(" bout");
(^|" ")"adult" changeCase(" a-dult");
(^|" ")"afraid" changeCase(" frayed");
(^|" ")"and " changeCase(" an ");
(^|" ")"anniversary" changeCase(" anavarsry");
(^|" ")"any " changeCase(" no ");
(^|" ")"anywhere" changeCase(" anywhare");
(^|" ")"appreciate" changeCase(" preshate");
(^|" ")"april" changeCase(" abrul");
(^|" ")"are going to" changeCase(" sargunna");
(^|" ")"are known" changeCase(" iz node");
(^|" ")"are " changeCase(" is ");
(^|" ")"aren't you" changeCase(" arncha");
(^|" ")"at them" changeCase(" attum");
(^|" ")"august" changeCase(" awg-ghust");
(^|" ")"away" changeCase(" awf");
(^|" ")"awkward" changeCase(" aukerd");
(^|" ")"bad" changeCase(" bayud");
(^|" ")"ball" changeCase(" bawl");
(^|" ")"baptists" changeCase(" babtusses");
(^|" ")"barbed" changeCase(" bob");
(^|" ")"be " changeCase(" bay ");
(^|" ")"bear" changeCase(" bayur");
(^|" ")"beautiful" changeCase(" butiful");
(^|" ")"because" changeCase(" cuz");
(^|" ")"believe" changeCase(" bleeve");
(^|" ")"bitty" changeCase(" biddy");
(^|" ")"black" changeCase(" blaak");
(^|" ")"blue" changeCase(" bulloo");
(^|" ")"born" changeCase(" bornd");
(^|" ")"brake" changeCase(" brayke");
(^|" ")"break" changeCase(" brayke");
(^|" ")"brick" changeCase(" breck");
(^|" ")"brighter" changeCase(" brotter");
(^|" ")"bringing" changeCase(" brangin");
(^|" ")"brown" changeCase(" braoyone");
(^|" ")"building" changeCase(" bildun");
(^|" ")"bulb" changeCase(" bub");
(^|" ")"call you " changeCase(" cawya ");
(^|" ")"called you " changeCase(" cawdja ");
(^|" ")"camera" changeCase(" Instuhmatik");
(^|" ")"can't" changeCase(" kaynt");
(^|" ")"can't"|" can not"|" cannot" changeCase(" kaynt");
(^|" ")"capital" changeCase(" captul");
(^|" ")"car " changeCase(" cawer ");
(^|" ")"catch" changeCase(" ketch");
(^|" ")"chair" changeCase(" chayer");
(^|" ")"cheer" changeCase(" chair");
(^|" ")"chicken" changeCase(" chikun");
(^|" ")"child" changeCase(" kid");
(^|" ")"children" changeCase(" kids");
(^|" ")"clean" changeCase(" klane");
(^|" ")"climate" changeCase(" kliment");
(^|" ")"cold" changeCase(" code");
(^|" ")"darker" changeCase(" dawerker");
(^|" ")"deaf" changeCase(" dayuf");
(^|" ")"death" changeCase(" dayuth");
(^|" ")"december" changeCase(" deceyumbur");
(^|" ")"definite" changeCase(" defnut");
(^|" ")"did not"|" didn't" changeCase(" didunt");
(^|" ")"did you" changeCase(" dja");
(^|" ")"didn't it" changeCase(" diduhnit");
(^|" ")"different" changeCase(" difernt");
(^|" ")"difficult" changeCase(" difahkult");
(^|" ")"divide" changeCase(" duhvide");
(^|" ")"does" changeCase(" duz");
(^|" ")"doesn't" changeCase(" don't");
(^|" ")"dog " changeCase(" dawg ");
(^|" ")"I don't care" changeCase(" don't make no nevur mind to may ");
(^|" ")"door" changeCase(" dower");
(^|" ")"dreaming" changeCase(" draimun");
(^|" ")"drink" changeCase(" drank");
(^|" ")"drinking" changeCase(" drankin");
(^|" ")"drive" changeCase(" drahv");
(^|" ")"eight" changeCase(" ate");
(^|" ")"eighteen" changeCase(" a-tane");
(^|" ")"eighth" changeCase(" athd");
(^|" ")"eighty" changeCase(" ady");
(^|" ")"eleven" changeCase(" lebum");
(^|" ")"entire" changeCase(" entahr");
(^|" ")"especially" changeCase(" speshuly");
(^|" ")"even" changeCase(" evun");
(^|" ")"evening" changeCase(" eevnun");
(^|" ")"eventually" changeCase(" eventchly");
(^|" ")"ever" changeCase(" evur");
(^|" ")"every once in a while" changeCase(" evurwonsinawhahl");
(^|" ")"every" changeCase(" evur");
(^|" ")"exactly" changeCase(" zakly");
(^|" ")"executive" changeCase(" zekatuv");
(^|" ")"eye " changeCase(" ah ");
(^|" ")"father" changeCase(" papa");
(^|" ")"february" changeCase(" febberyawary");
(^|" ")"fell " changeCase(" fayul ");
(^|" ")"fifteen" changeCase(" fiftane");
(^|" ")"fifth" changeCase(" fifd");
(^|" ")"fifty" changeCase(" fifdy");
(^|" ")"fight" changeCase(" fite");
(^|" ")"figure" changeCase(" figger");
(^|" ")"filling" changeCase(" fillin");
(^|" ")"fine" changeCase(" fahn");
(^|" ")"fire" changeCase(" far");
(^|" ")"first" changeCase(" fursd");
(^|" ")"five" changeCase(" fav");
(^|" ")"fixing" changeCase(" fixin");
(^|" ")"flower" changeCase(" flare");
(^|" ")"follow" changeCase(" faller");
(^|" ")"for " changeCase(" fahwar ");
(^|" ")"forget" changeCase(" fergit");
(^|" ")"fork" changeCase(" fowerk");
(^|" ")"forty" changeCase(" fardy");
(^|" ")"four" changeCase(" fower");
(^|" ")"fourteen" changeCase(" fortane");
(^|" ")"fourth" changeCase(" fowerth");
(^|" ")"freeze" changeCase(" fraze");
(^|" ")"friday" changeCase(" frydy");
(^|" ")"from" changeCase(" frum");
(^|" ")"front" changeCase(" frunt");
(^|" ")"gas" changeCase(" gayus");
(^|" ")"geography" changeCase(" joggerfee");
(^|" ")"get a hold of you" changeCase(" gittaholdayew");
(^|" ")"get" changeCase(" git");
(^|" ")"going to" changeCase(" gunna");
(^|" ")"going to" changeCase(" mona");
(^|" ")"gold" changeCase(" gode");
(^|" ")"got to " changeCase(" gotta ");
(^|" ")"green" changeCase(" grane");
(^|" ")"grey"|" gray" changeCase(" graey");
(^|" ")"guests" changeCase(" guesss");
(^|" ")"guitar" changeCase(" gitahwer");
(^|" ")"gulf" changeCase(" guf");
(^|" ")"hard" changeCase(" hayud");
(^|" ")"have a " changeCase(" havuh ");
(^|" ")"have not"|" haven't" changeCase(" habumt");
(^|" ")"have " changeCase(" hav ");
(^|" ")"he " changeCase(" hay ");
(^|" ")"headed" changeCase(" hardud");
(^|" ")"here" changeCase(" hare");
(^|" ")"high" changeCase(" ha");
(^|" ")"hour" changeCase(" air");
(^|" ")"how are you" changeCase(" hyeru");
(^|" ")"how do you do " changeCase(" howdee ");
(^|" ")"huh!" changeCase(" hawh!");
(^|" ")"huh?" changeCase(" hawh?");
(^|" ")"hundred" changeCase(" hunnerd");
(^|" ")"if I " changeCase(" fah ");
(^|" ")"if it " changeCase(" hifit ");
(^|" ")"if you" changeCase(" few");
(^|" ")"if " changeCase(" hif ");
"ing " changeCase("in' ");
(^|" ")"ignorance" changeCase(" ignernt");
(^|" ")"indian" changeCase(" hinyun");
(^|" ")"inside" changeCase(" n-sod");
(^|" ")"instead of" changeCase(" instudda");
(^|" ")"institute" changeCase(" instatoot");
(^|" ")"intersection" changeCase(" innersekshun");
(^|" ")"is a " changeCase(" izza ");
(^|" ")"is it " changeCase(" izit ");
(^|" ")"is that " changeCase(" izzat ");
(^|" ")"is that right " changeCase(" zatrot ");
(^|" ")"is " changeCase(" iz ");
(^|" ")"isn't it " changeCase(" hiduhnit ");
(^|" ")"it appears" changeCase(" pears");
(^|" ")"it would" changeCase(" hid");
(^|" ")"it " changeCase(" hit ");
(^|" ")"it'd " changeCase(" hid ");
(^|" ")"it's"|" it is" changeCase(" hit's");
(^|" ")"jail" changeCase(" jayul");
(^|" ")"january" changeCase(" janyawary");
(^|" ")"jeans" changeCase(" janes");
(^|" ")"jet" changeCase(" jeyut");
(^|" ")"jewelry" changeCase(" julry");
(^|" ")"july" changeCase(" djoolie");
(^|" ")"june" changeCase(" djoon");
(^|" ")"just" changeCase(" gist");
(^|" ")"kind of" changeCase(" kinduh");
(^|" ")"king" changeCase(" kang");
(^|" ")"library" changeCase(" liberry");
(^|" ")"lie" changeCase(" lah");
(^|" ")"life" changeCase(" lahf");
(^|" ")"light" changeCase(" lot");
(^|" ")"lighter" changeCase(" lahter");
(^|" ")"like" changeCase(" lahk");
(^|" ")"little" changeCase(" liddel");
(^|" ")"log" changeCase(" lawg");
(^|" ")"lot of" changeCase(" lottuh");
(^|" ")"lots of" changeCase(" lotsa");
(^|" ")"love" changeCase(" luv");
(^|" ")"mall" changeCase(" mawl");
(^|" ")"march" changeCase(" martch");
(^|" ")"material" changeCase(" mahtearyul");
(^|" ")"may" changeCase(" maey");
(^|" ")"me " changeCase(" may ");
(^|" ")"mile" changeCase(" mahl");
(^|" ")"minute" changeCase(" minent");
(^|" ")"monday" changeCase(" mundy");
(^|" ")"mosquito" changeCase(" skeeter");
(^|" ")"moss" changeCase(" mawce");
(^|" ")"mother" changeCase(" ma");
(^|" ")"mroone" changeCase(" maroon");
(^|" ")"my " changeCase(" mah ");
(^|" ")"myself" changeCase(" mahsef");
(^|" ")"never" changeCase(" nevur");
(^|" ")"nine" changeCase(" nahn");
(^|" ")"nineteen" changeCase(" nontane");
(^|" ")"nineth" changeCase(" nonth");
(^|" ")"ninety" changeCase(" nondy");
(^|" ")"no " changeCase(" naw ");
(^|" ")"nothing" changeCase(" nuthun");
(^|" ")"november" changeCase(" noveyumbur");
(^|" ")"ocean" changeCase(" oshun");
(^|" ")"october" changeCase(" oktobur");
(^|" ")"of " changeCase(" uh ");
(^|" ")"off" changeCase(" awf");
(^|" ")"oil" changeCase(" all");
(^|" ")"old " changeCase(" ode ");
(^|" ")"one of " changeCase(" wunna ");
(^|" ")"one " changeCase(" wun ");
(^|" ")"only" changeCase(" monly");
(^|" ")"opposite" changeCase(" opsit");
(^|" ")"orange" changeCase(" arnjuh");
(^|" ")"over there" changeCase(" ovare");
(^|" ")"over" changeCase(" ovur");
(^|" ")"parking" changeCase(" parkin");
(^|" ")"people" changeCase(" paypul");
(^|" ")"picture" changeCase(" pitchur");
(^|" ")"pillow" changeCase(" pillar");
(^|" ")"pine" changeCase(" pahn");
(^|" ")"pink" changeCase(" pank");
(^|" ")"please" changeCase(" playze");
(^|" ")"pretty" changeCase(" purdy");
(^|" ")"probably" changeCase(" probly");
(^|" ")"purple" changeCase(" burpel");
(^|" ")"queen" changeCase(" kwane");
(^|" ")"quit" changeCase(" kewyut");
(^|" ")"rather" changeCase(" ruthur");
(^|" ")"ready" changeCase(" reddy");
(^|" ")"real" changeCase(" reeyul");
(^|" ")"really" changeCase(" rilly");
(^|" ")"red" changeCase(" rayud");
(^|" ")"right" changeCase(" rot");
(^|" ")"ring" changeCase(" rang");
(^|" ")"said" changeCase(" sayud");
(^|" ")"sale" changeCase(" sayul");
(^|" ")"sale"|" sail"|" sell" changeCase(" sayul");
(^|" ")"saturday" changeCase(" sadderdy");
(^|" ")"school" changeCase(" skoo");
(^|" ")"screen" changeCase(" skrane");
(^|" ")"second" changeCase(" sekunt");
(^|" ")"see" changeCase(" say");
(^|" ")"september" changeCase(" ceptimbur");
(^|" ")"seven" changeCase(" sebum");
(^|" ")"seventeen" changeCase(" sebumtane");
(^|" ")"seventh" changeCase(" sebumthd");
(^|" ")"seventy" changeCase(" sebumdy");
(^|" ")"she" changeCase(" shay");
(^|" ")"shirt" changeCase(" churt");
(^|" ")"sign" changeCase(" sahn");
(^|" ")"silver" changeCase(" seeyulvur");
(^|" ")"sit" changeCase(" set");
(^|" ")"sixteen" changeCase(" sickstane");
(^|" ")"sixth" changeCase(" sicksed");
(^|" ")"sixty" changeCase(" sicksdy");
(^|" ")"siz" changeCase(" sicks");
(^|" ")"smell" changeCase(" smayul");
(^|" ")"smile" changeCase(" smahl");
(^|" ")"softer" changeCase(" sowftur");
(^|" ")"some of those" changeCase(" sumoze");
(^|" ")"some" changeCase(" sum");
(^|" ")"something" changeCase(" sumpn");
(^|" ")"sometime" changeCase(" sumtom");
(^|" ")"south" changeCase(" saowth");
(^|" ")"speak" changeCase(" spake");
(^|" ")"spring" changeCase(" sprang");
(^|" ")"sprinkle" changeCase(" sprankul");
(^|" ")"stadium" changeCase(" stadyum");
(^|" ")"station" changeCase(" stayshun");
(^|" ")"string" changeCase(" strang");
(^|" ")"sunday" changeCase(" sundy");
(^|" ")"sure" changeCase(" shore");
(^|" ")"tale"|" tail" changeCase(" tayul");
(^|" ")"talk" changeCase(" tawk");
(^|" ")"talking" changeCase(" tawkin");
(^|" ")"tall" changeCase(" tahl");
(^|" ")"tan" changeCase(" tayun");
(^|" ")"ten" changeCase(" teyun");
(^|" ")"tenth" changeCase(" teyunth");
(^|" ")"terible" changeCase(" tarbul");
(^|" ")"terrible" changeCase(" tarbul");
(^|" ")"that is"|" that's" changeCase(" thets");
(^|" ")"that" changeCase(" thet");
(^|" ")"the only" changeCase(" thonly");
(^|" ")"the other" changeCase(" thuther");
(^|" ")"the" changeCase(" thuh");
(^|" ")"their" changeCase(" thur");
(^|" ")"there" changeCase(" thare");
(^|" ")"there" changeCase(" thayure");
(^|" ")"they" changeCase(" thay");
(^|" ")"thing" changeCase(" thang");
(^|" ")"think" changeCase(" thank");
(^|" ")"third" changeCase(" thurd");
(^|" ")"thirteen" changeCase(" thurtane");
(^|" ")"thirty" changeCase(" thurdy");
(^|" ")"this" changeCase(" thus");
(^|" ")"those" changeCase(" them");
(^|" ")"thousand" changeCase(" thousun");
(^|" ")"three" changeCase(" thray");
(^|" ")"through" changeCase(" thoo");
(^|" ")"throw" changeCase(" thow");
(^|" ")"throw" changeCase(" throw");
(^|" ")"thrown" changeCase(" thowed");
(^|" ")"thursday" changeCase(" thursdy");
(^|" ")"tie" changeCase(" tah");
(^|" ")"tied" changeCase(" tahd");
(^|" ")"tight" changeCase(" tot");
(^|" ")"time" changeCase(" tom");
(^|" ")"to " changeCase(" tuh ");
(^|" ")"today" changeCase(" tuhday");
(^|" ")"toilet" changeCase(" outhouse");
(^|" ")"told" changeCase(" tode");
(^|" ")"tommorrow" changeCase(" tuhmorrow");
(^|" ")"tree" changeCase(" tray");
(^|" ")"truck" changeCase(" truk");
(^|" ")"tuesday" changeCase(" chewsdy");
(^|" ")"twelve" changeCase(" twayulv");
(^|" ")"twenty" changeCase(" twindy");
(^|" ")"two " changeCase(" tew ");
(^|" ")"understand" changeCase(" understaynd");
(^|" ")"used to" changeCase(" ustuh");
(^|" ")"vehicle" changeCase(" vee-hicul");
(^|" ")"victory" changeCase(" viktray");
(^|" ")"violation" changeCase(" vahlayshun");
(^|" ")"virtual" changeCase(" vurchul");
(^|" ")"want to " changeCase(" wonna ");
(^|" ")"was that" changeCase(" wuzzat");
(^|" ")"was" changeCase(" wuz");
(^|" ")"wash" changeCase(" wartch");
(^|" ")"water" changeCase(" warder");
(^|" ")"we " changeCase(" way ");
(^|" ")"wedding" changeCase(" wedden");
(^|" ")"wednesday" changeCase(" winsdy");
(^|" ")"well" changeCase(" wayul");
(^|" ")"were " changeCase(" wuz ");
(^|" ")"west " changeCase(" wayust ");
(^|" ")"what did you" changeCase(" whudja");
(^|" ")"what did" changeCase(" whuddle");
(^|" ")"what do you" changeCase(" wadja");
(^|" ")"what is the matter" changeCase(" smatter");
(^|" ")"what is"|" what's" changeCase(" whut");
(^|" ")"what" changeCase(" whut");
(^|" ")"wheel" changeCase(" whale");
(^|" ")"when" changeCase(" wheyun");
(^|" ")"where did you" changeCase(" whardja");
(^|" ")"where" changeCase(" whar");
(^|" ")"where" changeCase(" whayer");
(^|" ")"white" changeCase(" wot");
(^|" ")"why don't you" changeCase(" y-oncha");
(^|" ")"why" changeCase(" wha");
(^|" ")"wife" changeCase(" waf");
(^|" ")"window" changeCase(" wender");
(^|" ")"winter" changeCase(" winner");
(^|" ")"wire" changeCase(" war");
(^|" ")"with you" changeCase(" witchew");
(^|" ")"woman" changeCase(" whoamun");
(^|" ")"women" changeCase(" wimmen");
(^|" ")"world" changeCase(" warld");
(^|" ")"worse than" changeCase(" worsun");
(^|" ")"yard" changeCase(" chard");
(^|" ")"yellow" changeCase(" yuller");
(^|" ")"yes" changeCase(" u-betcha");
(^|" ")"yes" changeCase(" yayus");
(^|" ")"you " changeCase(" yawl ");
(^|" ")"your are"|" you're" changeCase(" yore");
(^|" ")"your" changeCase(" chur");
.|'\n' ECHO;
%%
main()
{
yylex();
}
void changeCase(word)
char *word;
{
extern char *yytext;
/* change o/p to upper/lower based on original text */
if (isupper(*(yytext+1)) && islower(*(word+1)))
*(word+1) = toupper(*(word+1));
printf(word);
}
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