Damming: Chinese vase of mother deers.
Damnation: Nation of mother deers, subsection of the Doe Nation.
Dimmer: Dark ocean.
Dimming: Dark Chinese vase.
Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
Antenna: Ant that communicates at great distances.
Sobriety: Tea that makes you non drunk.
Society: Tea that brings people together.
Sorcerer: Magic making knight who levitates.
Sorely: Hurting or rising Korean.
Sorority: Tea drunk by female Greek college groups.
Sorrow: Row of grief.
Sorted: Rising Ted.
Peroxide: Price of a draft animal's skin.
Perot: Price of a row of businessmen turned politicians.
Michael Balarama wrote:
> was sent this:
>
> Once upon a time there was a flock of angels with long flowing
> beautiful hair. But lo and behold, due to improper eating habits
> and advanced age, all their hair fell out. They soon saw the light
> and purchased gorgeous, extravagant wigs, which were even more golden
> and more flowing than their original hair. One day, there came unto
> the angels very bad tidings. They lost their financial security and
> were reduced to a penniless state. In utmost misery, they fell to
> their knees and prayed for a solution. Suddenly, the clouds parted
> and a thunderous voice gave forth the following advice, "Hock the
> Hair Old Angels."
X-Mas: E.T. in church.
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB5CDBB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Chesapeake: Chess tournament on a mountain top.
> > > >
> > > > Advert: Add the color green.
> > > >
> > > R. Gent: Inventor of the colour blue.
> > >
> > > R. Gent Tina: His wife and where they lived.
> >
> > Pun Gent: A man who makes obnoxious puns.
>
> Astringent: A man made entirely from thread.
>
> Detergent: A man who frightens everyone away.
>
> Fulgent: A man who's eaten too much.
>
> Effulgent: His wife, Ethel.
>
> Plangent: An architect.
>
> Semitangent: A man who's sunbathing but hasn't turned over yet.
>
> Tangent: A man who has.
>
> Tingent: A very crude male robot - like as what was in Over the
Rainbow.
>
> Urgent: Her husband.
Reagent: Chemical man.
Regent: The man returns for more.
> An alcoholic got so bad he started seeing huge arses sliding up and
down the
> curtains - then all of a sudden his condition D.T. rear rated!
Do you have any proof?
Remission: To return to church.
Submission: Church for fish and merpeople.
Transmission: Church for radios.
Commission and Emission: Computer and Internet churches.
Decommission: Demon church.
Manumission: Church for freed slaves.
Omission: Forgotten church.
Mos wrote:
> Keith E. wrote:
> > Tue, 27 Apr 2004 12:53:41 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> > until Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> >> On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 00:02:31 GMT, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Sun, 25 Apr 2004 20:51:21 -0400 was a day just like any other,
> >>> until "Greg Evans" <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> >>>> Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>>>>>> I have the nerves in my brain crossconnected, so
> >>>>>>>>> everything I read I can hear.
> >>>>>>>> And you can hear flavours...?
> >>>>>>> Like colours.
> >>>>>> One hopes you don't see "fragrances".
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Of course not.
> >>>>> I feel them.
> >>>>
> >>>> Larry would love for you to feel something he's always making a
> >>>> BIG stink about....
> >>>
> >>> Larry goes on and on about nothing.
> >>
> >> I learned from the masters. I watched you and Lizzie do it for
> >> years. <g>
> >
> > We're basking in hero worship. It itches.
>
> "Wallowing" does not start with a "B".
Wallowing: Flying pig.
Fly Ying: Chinese fly.
> Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy) wrote:
> > On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 12:50:22 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
> > <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes in
> > message <faet809ik9sdkio2d...@4ax.com>:
> >
> >> On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 00:02:31 GMT, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Sat, 24 Apr 2004 18:49:47 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> >>> until Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> >>>> On Sun, 25 Apr 2004 01:31:37 GMT, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com>
> >>>> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> You mean I have pygthur study Shakespeare pygthur be
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> able pygthur participate in atj?
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>> Yes - if you don't, you'll be permanently bard from the
> >>>>>>>>>>>> group.
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Owl right!
> >>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>> A Keith by any other name would smell the same?
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> I wouldn't know, I don't sniff impostors.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> Don't get sniffy with me, young man!
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Don't worry, I keep nose plugs with me at all times.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> You might just want to trim your nose hair once it gets that
> >>>>>> thick, Keith.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I tried, but it objected.
> >>>>
> >>>> So that's where your handlebar mustache came from!
> >>>
> >>> No, that came off a bicycle. It's just a realistic paint job.
> >>
> >> I thought the red handlebar grips with the multicolored streamers
> >> were a bit much, though.
> >
> > And the wicker basket is definitely wrong.
>
> Give him credit for the cards in the spokes.
Carding: Musical automobile.
Crediting: Bell that charges.
ur_droll wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> news:dKV0d.23907$F73....@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> :
> : ur_droll <who....@fuck.co> wrote in message
> : news:wmu0d.1188$JQ4....@news.xtra.co.nz...
> : >
> : > "s to s" <s to s...@thisisnotmyisp.net> wrote in message
> : > news:u3o0d.4589$ol.47...@news-text.cableinet.net...
> : > : wots an usnet filter?
> : >
> : >
> : > press the alt, ctrl and delete buttons on yer keyboard at the same time,
> : > whenever you see a post from someone you don't want to read.
> : >
> : There's a better way that'll benefit everybody online too. Just go to "My
> : Computer", select your 'C' Drive, right click and hit "Format." All your
> : troubles will be over.
>
> I just tried that.... didn't work.... would ya be a sport and check
> to see if it works on your machine?
Format: In favor of floor coverings.
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 02:55:43 GMT, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com> found these
> unused words floating about:
>
> >Tue, 27 Apr 2004 00:20:34 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> >until Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>"Keith E." wrote:
> >>
> >>> Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:53:59 GMT was a day just like any other,
> >>> until mael...@eunet.at (Elisabeth Müller) wrote:
> >>> >On Tue, 20 Apr 2004 17:27:05 GMT, Keith E. <i.m....@aol.com> wrote:
> >>> >>
> >>> >>WORSHIP ME!!!
> >>> >
> >>> >How?
> >>>
> >>> With erotic dances and offerings of beer and chili. Lots of beer
> >>> and chili.
> >>
> >>Holy Gas!
> >
> >You'd be surprised by the number of gas holes around here.
>
> Wish they Argon ...
Helium: Curative gas.
guns4jesus wrote:
> Retardant - Mentally challanged ant.
Brilliant: Smart Ant.
Centrum: One penny vitamin.
I am stimulated by electric cars.
Internship: Inside a bird crewed ship.
Scrabble: A male bovine of many words.
It was one of those zany bat winged Bee Too bombers.
Crumble: Bull falling apart.
Colby: Black bee used as fuel.
Cowell: Healthy bovine.
Kent Drive: Superman at the golf course.
Purdue: Price of morning moisture.
Radcliffe: Radioactive rock formation.
Villanova: Exploding criminal star.
1/4 puns? OK.
Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no quarter?
Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
Headquarters: What you sometimes see when you look a contortionist in the
face.
Quartermaster: Hotel manager.
I thought stomachs turned politicians - or is that he other way round?
nemo wrote:
Quarter Horse: 1/4th of an equine.
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> >
> > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> >
> > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> >
>
> 1/4 puns? OK.
>
> Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no quarter?
>
> Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
>
> Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
I had thought that a hind was a male and a doe a female.
Sand Bank: Where they keep their money.
As I've mentioned before, in the EEC we've abandoned the Eric Sykes Scale
and we measure it instead by Alcohol % by Volume - meaning that the more you
drink, the louder you get.
. . . like Ethel Merman's family?
>
> Transmission: Church for radios.
>
>
Superheterodyne: A truly excellent restaurant where only people who are not
gay are allowed to eat.
SSB: A nasty nazi apine.
Short Wave: A gesture of greeting from a midget.
UHF?
No. I not A chef!
VHF!
Don't be silly. How can a number of people be one chef?
C? SHF over there - with the funny hat on.
OK. VFMNX!
VFN 10 EX. IFE 10 M!
Debit Card: Same as a Credit Card only with teethmarks.
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
Levi Tating: Jewish hovering bulbas farmer.
Krypton: Secret gas.
Krapton: Dinosaur droppings!
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
I ain't. The stuff these damned contractors have put down in my flat is all
bubbling up. I think they've used the wrong adhesive and it's reacting with
the floor covering producing gas.
Here they are in case you don't want to use them!
It's bubbling up in other flats too and it looks like they're gonna have to
replace it all at their own expense! Serves 'em right!
They've got this damned new craze nowadays of squirting silecone sealant
around the edges of the floors too - and they've done it dead messy.
I wish they'd have asked whether I wanted my floors masticated!
I'm skint!
Noncents!
That's right!
One ant: Formicida
More than one ant: FormicidÄ™ - and a bloody nuisance.
FormicidÄ™: Derelict, abandoned large conurbation.
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
Scribble: A male bovine of many words, all of them illegible because of its
truly atrocious hoofwriting.
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
Liars who wear German spectacles are stimulated by Defibrillators.
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
Purport of 'purport': Mooring charge.
Small gangster horse: Shetland Alcaponey!
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
http://www.onelook.com/?w=hind&ls=a
Quick definitions (Hind)
noun: female red deer
noun: any of several mostly spotted fishes that resemble gropers
name: A surname (very rare: popularity rank in the U.S.: #37816)
http://www.onelook.com/?w=doe&ls=a
Quick definitions (doe)
noun: mature female of mammals of which the male is called `buck'
noun: the federal department responsible for maintaining a national energy
policy of the United States; created in 1977
http://www.onelook.com/?w=stag&ls=a
Quick definitions (stag)
noun: adult male deer
noun: male red deer
verb: attend a dance or a party without a female companion
verb: give away information about somebody
verb: watch, observe, or inquire secretly
Use http://www.onelook.com/ and you can't go wrong. Oooooh - I don't know
though! :o)
Red deer: Embarrassed antelope.
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
Dogger Bank: Canine finacial institution with a lot of ships stuck on it.
http://www.encyclopedia.com/searchpool.asp?target=%22Dogger+Bank%22
Michael Balarama wrote:
> was sent this:
>
> Once upon a time there was a flock of angels with long flowing
> beautiful hair. But lo and behold, due to improper eating habits
> and advanced age, all their hair fell out. They soon saw the light
> and purchased gorgeous, extravagant wigs, which were even more golden
> and more flowing than their original hair. One day, there came unto
> the angels very bad tidings. They lost their financial security and
> were reduced to a penniless state. In utmost misery, they fell to
> their knees and prayed for a solution. Suddenly, the clouds parted
> and a thunderous voice gave forth the following advice, "Hock the
> Hair Old Angels."
X-Mas: E.T. in church.
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
I though Rum was a spirit distilled from mole asses.
Golden Syrup is treackier. Has to be poured from the tin by someone who is
ambidextrose.
Molaaaaaaaaaaases! Molaaaaaaaaaaases! It's icky sticky goo!
Molaaaaaaaaaaases! Molaaaaaaaaaaases! It always sticks to you!
There was a song in the 50s to that effect sung by three black guys dressed
up as babies with the little fancy bonnets and everything.
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> >
> > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> >
> > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> >
>
> 1/4 puns? OK.
>
> Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no quarter?
>
> Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
>
> Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
>
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> >
> > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> >
> > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> >
>
> 1/4 puns? OK.
>
> Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no quarter?
>
> Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
>
> Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
I had thought that a hind was a male and a doe a female.
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Pony: Mid-leg joint stuck in a chamber pot!
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Centrefuge: A very cheap rented hiding place.
Rented hiding places are nice and snug. It's rented trousers that let in the
draught. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Gorr! Eat, too, the new-born King!
Do they have cannibal angels? Pop up there and see, would you.
> X-Mas: E.T. in church.
Iyyy thought the only thing you were allowed to E.T. in churchy was those
little round Catholic Matzo thingeys. Take a long time to get fatty on
those.
Real Matzos:
http://www.rakusens.co.uk/Matzo%20Crackers.htm
Erryvay aystytay!
Regent's Treat: The rent boys (he whores selling their assets) available in
the adjacent thoroughfare, Piccadilly. George IV was often 2B Cn wandering
around up there!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prince_Regent
Piccadilly Circus: Where rent boys clown around, do very rude contortions
indeed and juggle with the strangest things while taking liberties with
Liberty Horses in spite of Liberty's being far closer to Oxford Circus.
Iyyy thought Prince Albert, as in Victoria and, was a Prince Regent. He's
not. He's a Prince Consort, probably because he could play all the sizes of
Recorders at once!
Hamley's: The biggest toyshop in the world for pigs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamley%27s
BTW. I've got it so nice and warm in here now after getting soaked earlier,
and the PC's processor fan has come on with the PC on the window still right
next to the cold window - and sod the electricity bill!
There yer go! A guy dead tour of London's West End.
Guy dead? Yers. He got run over by a Navel Intelligence plane green van as
he crossed Great Marlborough Street!
Surely a plane green van should be part of Airfarce Intelligence, I hear you
say. Well that's where they got em from second hand - a whole load of them.
CYY 711C to CYY 716C - that went backwards and forwards all day between 14
Great Marlborough Street and 5 - 6 Cork Street a few hundred yards away
round the back - and that was their idea of inconspicuous! Everybody knew
CYY was a Home Office/Military registration mark as well!
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> >
> > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> >
> > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> >
>
> 1/4 puns? OK.
>
> Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no quarter?
>
> Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
>
> Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
I had thought that a hind was a male and a doe a female.
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> >
> > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> >
> > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> >
>
> 1/4 puns? OK.
>
> Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound give no quarter?
>
> Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
>
> Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
>
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Michael Balarama wrote:
> was sent this:
>
> Once upon a time there was a flock of angels with long flowing
> beautiful hair. But lo and behold, due to improper eating habits
> and advanced age, all their hair fell out. They soon saw the light
> and purchased gorgeous, extravagant wigs, which were even more golden
> and more flowing than their original hair. One day, there came unto
> the angels very bad tidings. They lost their financial security and
> were reduced to a penniless state. In utmost misery, they fell to
> their knees and prayed for a solution. Suddenly, the clouds parted
> and a thunderous voice gave forth the following advice, "Hock the
> Hair Old Angels."
X-Mas: E.T. in church.
Hen Carter says:
Hind2.
1. A female deer: a female red deer. (Must be embarrassed!)
2. A spotted marine fish . . . a type of groper!**
Hole Dinglish . UlTimately from an Indo-European word meaning 'hornless'.
Shame. If the deer wants to take up a brass instrument, it oughta be allowed
to!!
Harwell. Shofar, sho good.
**We spell it grouper over here. A groper is a bloke who grabs girls' bums,
tits and pudendÄ™ - not all at once. He'd need three hands for that!!
An unequalhine?
Detergent: A big enormous bulldike standing guard at the door of a lesbians
only club!
You don't get much to E.T. in church. Just a little tiny wafer that's gone
in a trice - especially if they've been got at by mice, which is not nice!
Matzos! That's what you want. Nice big 13 x 17 cm nice crunchy delicious
unleavened wafers that you can put jam, yeast extract (ironically) or much
with salad veg!
Untwelved wafers are even bigger!
Umyay umyay!
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message